Sincerely, Yours

by G. , Whitney

  Since the night she’d told me about her made-up love stories, I’d reread her first two years of letters and looked between all the lines, shaking my head at the obvious plays on book character and author names that I never thought to question.

  She’d used Dick Charles (Charles Dickens), Chris Grey (Christian Grey), Jon Grislem (John Grisham) and so many other obvious variations, that I was shocked I never caught it. A part of me wanted to laugh about it, but another part of me wanted to tell her that sometimes I went extra hard partying and dating because I was trying to keep up with what she was writing to me.

  “I’m really excited to spend an entire weekend with you,” Teresa said, kissing my cheek as we pulled into the parking lot.

  “Me, too.” I forced a smile and was about to give her one of my standard lines, but I spotted Rachel getting out of someone else’s car. Spotted a guy kissing her on the cheek, then her lips.

  This time, I knew it wasn’t a slight pang of jealousy in my chest. This time it was full blown envy.

  Track 13. Dancing with Our Hands Tied (4:49)

  Rachel

  The “senior lodge trip” might as well have been code for “sex filled weekend with unlimited alcohol.” Add in the fact that it was Halloween, and that made things even crazier.

  From the very moment we boarded the bus, flasks and red cups flowed up and down the aisle, couples made out like no one else was watching, and those who were beyond drunk, led a large group in singing off-key nineties songs. As for the “crazier” part, a masked Spiderman passed out weed-infused gummies, Cinderella gorged on whipped cream, and Queen Elsa (well, all five of them) chugged a fresh beer every other hour.

  Since this was a loosely sanctioned event, there were no officials from our college onboard. There was only a group of organizers who demanded that we abide by three simple rules.

  Don’t get into any fights.

  Don’t overdrink.

  Wear condoms.

  I stared ahead as the bus coasted down a winding lane, hoping like hell we would make it to the “amazing lodge” soon. My heart was beating an aching rhythm I’d never felt before, and I needed to get the hell off the bus as soon as possible.

  From the moment I saw Teresa sitting next to Ethan—resting her head on his shoulder and whispering into his ear, I’d felt some type of way.

  What are they up there talking about?

  “You okay, Rachel?” Ryan tapped my shoulder, making me look at him.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You sure?” He smiled and handed me a bagel. “You’ve been pretty quiet for these first few hours. Don’t tell me I’ll have to spend this entire weekend talking to myself.”

  “Not at all,” I said, returning his smile. “Sorry about that. Did you bring any small canvases we could work on while we’re here?”

  “Of course not.”

  “What do you mean? I thought you said you wanted to spend time painting together.”

  “Rachel, whenever we’re on campus, we spend time painting together. And whenever we’re not doing that, we’re getting coffee together.”

  “So?”

  “So …” he said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss against my lips. “I think we can find other ways to spend our time while we’re at the lodge this weekend.” He kissed me a bit harder, gently parting my lips with his tongue before pulling away.

  “Okay.” I smiled and looked toward the front of the bus, catching sight of Ethan staring at me.

  His jaw was clenched and I knew he’d seen the entire kiss. I also knew that I didn’t feel a goddamn thing in my chest until just now, when his eyes locked on mine.

  “Okay everyone, I need you to listen up.” He spoke into the mic as the bus made its way through a gate. His eyes remained on mine, and he narrowed them as Ryan draped his arm around my shoulders.

  “When the bus stops, you need to go inside the lodge and get in line at one of the three check-in tables,” he said. “Some of the seniors who helped organize this are already there, and they should have a packet with your room information and the catering schedule on it.” He paused and gripped a headrest as the bus drove against a bumpy road.

  “Every person has his or her own room, and each room has a panoramic view of the mountains. There’ll be unlimited hot chocolate, S’mores, and coffee at all five of the lodge’s fireplaces, unlimited access to the row of hot tubs at the bottom level, and—” He stopped talking when Ryan began threading his fingers through my hair. “And the rest of the information will be in your packet.” He glared at me and tossed the mic to Greg before returning to his seat.

  “Thanks, Ethan.” Greg smiled. “Um. You left out like, eighty percent of the shit you were supposed to say, but maybe it’s because you’re already ahead of everyone and tired from all the sex you’ve had?”

  Everyone laughed.

  Except me.

  “You’re responsible for your own shit,” Greg said. “There is no lost and found here, but if you find something in one of the common areas that isn’t yours, feel free to bring it to Ethan and me and we’ll send out a mass text so someone can claim it.” He flipped a sheet of paper. “There is no curfew, but the hours for breakfast and lunch are pretty strict, since an outside company is delivering them. Dinner will be pizza and salad every night. Any questions?”

  Someone in the back raised a hand.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you going to tell them about the ‘fucking rules’?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Greg smiled. “We’re all adults here, and I’m sure lots of that will be going down this weekend, so to save your floor-mates and your fellow lodge-mates from any unwanted walk-ins, put a sock on your door. And don’t fuck in any of the common areas because none of those doors lock and everyone has a camera phone. Anything else?”

  Another guy raised his hand.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can we get back to the alcohol and music now?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” He turned off his mic and the terrible nineties singalong commenced.

  “I think we’re going to have a great time together this weekend, Rachel.” Ryan kissed my cheek. “Don’t you?”

  I nodded, unable to say anything else. I faked a smile for the rest of the bus ride, pretended to be as excited as he was about “getting to know each other better,” and I even kissed him convincingly when we arrived at the lodge.

  Ethan saw every second of that kiss, too.

  * * *

  By the time we checked in and grabbed our registration packets, it was mid-afternoon and most people were making their way to the row of steaming hot tubs downstairs.

  Well, everyone except Ethan and Teresa who were cuddling on the common area couch. Ethan’s gaze had barely left mine since we got off the bus, but Teresa’s lips found their way onto his more than once.

  I knew right then and there, that I was going to do my best to avoid him for most of this weekend.

  I really am jealous …

  “You want me to walk you to your room?” Ryan asked, rolling my suitcase toward me.

  “I’d love that.” I turned away from Ethan and let Ryan clasp my hand.

  As we walked down the hallway, I admired just how beautiful the lodge was. With five levels, it featured three eat-in kitchens, a massive game room with pool and air hockey tables, and a deck of rocking chairs that overlooked the mountains. It was honestly the perfect backdrop for a getaway, but something told me I would need to come back by myself, if I wanted to enjoy it without an ache of jealousy in my chest.

  “Here you are,” Ryan said, stopping in front of a door. “You’re in 421, and I’m on the other side in 513.”

  “Thank you.” I unlocked the door, and he rolled my luggage inside.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” he said, kissing my forehead. “Want to meet me at the main fireplace in an hour or so?”

  “Sure.” I smiled and waited for him to leave. I pulled out my phone, wishing I had a best friend to cal
l and vent about this. I was about to ask Penelope what she thought, but an email from Ethan appeared on my screen.

  Subject: Talk.

  Rachel,

  We need to talk. Now.

  Forget You,

  Ethan

  Subject: Re: Talk.

  Ethan,

  I’m spending this trip with Ryan, and you’re spending yours with Teresa. I think it’s best if you ask me to talk when we get back to campus.

  Forget You,

  Rachel

  Subject: Re: Re: Talk.

  I wasn’t asking the first time.

  Forget You,

  Ethan

  I set my phone down and it buzzed again, but I didn’t answer it. I undressed and slipped into the shower, hoping that this lodge was big enough for us to avoid each other for the next few days.

  All my hopes were shattered later that night.

  A heavy snow was falling and the power in most of the common areas had gone out, so everyone was hanging out around the massive fire pit that stood in the center of the lodge. There was a long table full of red cups and liquor bottles pressed against the windows, a collection of sleeping bags and flashlights near the doors, and multiple S’mores stations stacked high with marshmallows.

  I stood in line behind Teresa and one of her friends—biting my tongue, since they failed to whisper.

  “Have you fucked him yet?” her friend asked.

  “Not yet,” Teresa said. “But I’m thinking it’ll definitely happen tonight; hell, with the power out, what else is there to do?”

  “I can’t believe he’s waited this long to sleep with you.” Her friend giggled. “Maybe he’s really into you?”

  “I think so.” Teresa damn near swooned. “He’s been pretty gentle with the kisses, too. I feel like they’re not the ‘I just want to fuck you’ kind. They’re sweet and light. Kind of passive as well, but God … His cock. Like, it was rock hard on the bus today, and I’m pretty sure that whenever he finally fucks me with it—”

  I stepped out of line and made my way to the other S’more station, not wanting to hear the rest of her words. Before I grabbed a plate, I adjusted the skirt of my Tinkerbell costume and set down my wand.

  “Rachel.” Ethan grabbed my elbow from behind, spinning me around to face him. Dressed as a king, his eyes were narrowed, and the vein in his neck was swelling, as if we’d just had a huge argument. “We need to talk.”

  “About how good of a job you’ve done with the trip?” My voice was hoarse. “Even with the power temporarily out, I’m really impressed with how much you guys planned ahead and thought of everything.

  “That’s not what I want to talk about.” His voice was terse. “And you know that.”

  “Is this about me leaving the shutters open in my room? Because I can promise I double-checked before we left so—”

  “Are you planning to fuck him?” He cut me off.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t stutter, Rachel.” There was a hint of hurt in his eyes. “Are you planning to fuck him?”

  I stepped back. “You can’t ask me that.”

  “I just did.” He kept his gaze on mine. “Try not to purposely lie, if you can help it …”

  “Are you planning to fuck her?” I crossed my arms. “Either way, I didn’t know you cared so much.”

  “I really don’t.”

  “There you are, Ethan!” Teresa linked her arm in his. “Come help me finish making the plates for our S’mores. I wasn’t sure if you wanted the spiked marshmallows with extra toppings or not.” She looked at me and rolled her eyes before pulling him away.

  With my heart racing, I stacked my plate full of everything and returned to the fireplace.

  Finding my place right next to Ryan, I picked up a stick and stabbed a marshmallow with it, holding it over the fire.

  Ethan and Teresa sat directly across from us, and his eyes immediately met mine. Ryan placed his arm around my shoulder, and Teresa offered Ethan a piece of her S’more.

  Through the dancing flames that separated us, I watched his every move and he watched mine. He let Teresa take off his jacket and wear it over her shoulders. I let Ryan rub his hand against my exposed thighs.

  When Teresa finally left his side, I considered walking over to him, to assure him that I had no intention of sleeping with Ryan—ever, but Greg picked up a foghorn and silenced everyone.

  “Hey, guys!” Greg yelled from the center of the room. “I just got off the phone with the owners of the lodge and they said the power will be back on soon!”

  Loud applause filled the room.

  “Until then, we still need everyone to stay here in the main building, just in case it takes longer than they think.” He held up a bucket and shook it. “But while we wait, I would like to share my contribution to this trip with you all.”

  “You finally paid your share for the food?” someone asked.

  “Hell no.” He scoffed, laughing. “I did buy a shit ton of his and her pleasure condoms though. The premium brand.”

  A bunch of guys cheered, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as he made his way around the room with his contribution.

  To my surprise, Ryan grabbed a few condoms from the bucket when it came around.

  “Just in case you want to later,” he whispered, pressing a kiss against my cheek. “No pressure.”

  Ethan slammed his plate down and walked over to me, glaring at me as he extended his hand. “I need to talk to you, Rachel. Now.”

  The look on his face made me hesitate to argue in front of everyone.

  “Will you excuse me for a second, Ryan? My roommate wants to discuss something about the house, I think.”

  “Of course.” He smiled, and Ethan tugged me up, pulling me into the pool table room.

  Shutting the door, he crossed his arms and glared at me.

  Swallowing, I took a step back, and he took a step forward. When I stepped back again, I was up against an ice-cold window, and he followed me.

  He placed his hands on the glass, on both sides of my head, trapping me to the spot.

  I looked into his eyes as he looked into mine, waiting for him to say whatever the hell he had to say, but words never came.

  Without warning, he pressed his mouth against mine and kissed me—hard. My hands went to his hair and I moaned as he deepened our kiss.

  Keeping his eyes on mine, he slipped his hand under my skirt and ripped off my panties in one smooth motion. He tucked them into his pocket and pinned me against the glass with his hips.

  I felt his cock hardening against my thigh and dropped my hands to unbuckle his belt.

  Stepping back slightly, he raised his eyebrow as I unzipped his pants, as I failed to free his cock.

  Grabbing my hand, he pressed it against his stomach—guiding it down past his navel, and into his briefs.

  I gasped as his cock hardened against my touch, as he guided my hand up and down his long and thick length. My cheeks reddened under his intense stare, and I gripped his cock a bit harder—making him groan, as I continued moving my hand up and down.

  “Pull it out,” he said, his voice hoarse.

  I obliged and pulled it from his pants—blushing again when I saw how huge he was.

  He pulled a condom package from his pocket and placed it into my hand—silently commanding me to put it on him.

  I pulled at the wrapper, struggling to open it, so he took it from my hands and tore it open for me.

  As I rolled it onto him, he gently pulled my tiara from my hair and set it on the pool table. Unzipping the front of my costume, he stared into my eyes and pressed his forehead against mine.

  I tugged the hem of his shirt—pulling it upward, but he pushed my hands away and smiled. He pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor, revealing his perfect set of washboard abs.

  With his eyes still on mine, he slid his hands against my sides and gently lifted me up, setting me on top of the pool table. He slid his fingers against my
pussy, groaning when he felt that I was soaking wet.

  Slipping two fingers deep inside of me, he pressed his mouth against mine and teased me with a long and slow kiss that ruined every other kiss that came before it. Stroking me with his fingers, he sucked my bottom lip in and out of his mouth.

  “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he whispered.

  I didn’t move. I was still returning his kisses, still struggling to focus, as he gently bit my bottom lip.

  “Rachel.” He pulled his fingers out of me, moved his mouth away from mine. “Wrap your legs around my waist.”

  I obliged, and he guided his cock against my pussy—burying himself deep inside of me with one stroke.

  Before I could scream out in pleasure, he muffled my mouth with kisses. He gripped my ass and squeezed it, lifting me up and against the wall. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept my legs around his waist.

  I shut my eyes as he pounded into me, as he fucked me harder and deeper than I’d ever been fucked before.

  “Look at me,” he warned, his voice soft. “Rachel, look at me.”

  My eyes remained closed and his rhythm became faster. He groaned as my nails dug into his skin, and when I finally opened my eyes, I saw the door opening.

  I started to say something, but Ethan muffled my mouth all over again.

  Someone stepped inside and tossed something into the trash, quickly closing the door, as if they hadn’t noticed us at all.

  “Ahh …” My head hit the window when Ethan let go of my mouth, and he gripped my waist a little harder.

  My pussy began throbbing against his cock, as he switched up the tempo. It was still fast, less reckless. Still dominant.

  “Hmmm.” He pressed his mouth against my neck, right where he’d left the last mark that I’d covered in concealer. Then he whispered, “I left that mark for a reason …” He trailed his tongue against my skin in a circle, teasing me with his teeth—definitely giving me another reminder from his mouth.