by K. D. Worth
That’s when I felt it.
Something moving through me. Not Max’s power, but something else.
Something indefinable yet as familiar as home.
Warm and wonderful, a kaleidoscope of feeling and emotions, joy and sorrow, pain and ecstasy, laced with utter unfathomable kindness and light. Far more intense than the joy I’d felt as I danced in celebration of Chad’s life.
I knew instinctively what it was.
God’s holy spirit.
“Are you ready to go?” I asked Chad, raising my other hand and conjuring a door. I didn’t even feel myself making it. It just sort of happened. None of Max’s light waned, and I didn’t gasp or wince. No pain and no weakness.
Everything felt as natural as breathing because I was letting God work through me, rather than assuming it was all on me. Just like when Max touched me, the more I let it happen, the more I began to feel like myself.
No, I felt better than I ever had before.
“That’s it?” Chad questioned. “I just go through that door?”
His hope glistened bright as the holy spirit moved between the two of us. We both stood at the same time, and I opened the door with my mind.
“Thank you, Kody,” he said sincerely. “I owe you one, man.”
“You’re very welcome.” I watched him slip through the door.
KODY—Chapter 13
MAX WAS beside me the instant Chad’s door disappeared.
When his arms wrapped around me, I did not feel a surge of power, because it was already there, an integral part of me, like my lungs or my spleen.
My heart.
“You’re okay,” Max stated rather than asked, staring up and studying my face.
“Yeah,” I assured him, but I hugged him tight just the same. “You were with me the whole time. I faltered a bit….”
“But I was there, shielding your heart.” Max’s confidence was music to my ears.
“You were.”
Yes, he’d worried that he wasn’t strong enough, his cocky act, just that—an act. But suddenly I believed, deep in my bones, we were finally ready to do this.
“I think we got this, Max.”
He pulled back to smile up at me. “Because we’re together.”
“You two finally understand.”
Without breaking our embrace, we looked toward Slade. He was leaning on a telephone pole, long denim-clad legs jutted out to the side, boots crossed and one hand on his hip. He was smiling at us, and if I could describe his smile, it was one of pride. “Think you’re ready for your last assignment?”
I raised one brow and stepped out of Max’s hug, keeping a hold of his hand. “Which is?”
“Helping a shade who chose to be a shade. A spirit who was offered a chance to go to heaven with a reaper but refused to leave this realm.”
Beside me, Max shook his head and raised his free hand in protest. “Maybe we should save this for another day.” He looked around nervously, his grip on me tightening. “Go out on a high note. Regroup and come back tomorrow.”
“Now is the time,” Slade countered.
My stomach jumped. “Are there shades here now?”
Chuckling, Slade looked at me. “Why are you suddenly afraid? You just saved a lost soul. And you did a damn good job of it too.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t his fault,” I argued. Though pleased by the compliment, I knew most of my sudden fear came from Max. Connected on a soul-deep level to him, I couldn’t block his emotions completely. “Shades, they… well?”
I couldn’t describe it. Chad had been real, he looked human.
Shades, on the other hand, were cold and lifeless.
“And a spirit too afraid or lacking faith to cross over is to blame?” Slade countered my thoughts. “God gave the Ninevites a second chance. Shouldn’t He get to decide who He forgives?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Though I suppose that was how I felt—or how Max felt. It was getting a little confusing. “They’re just… different.”
“Are they, really?” Slade challenged.
Chad had been separated from his body by evil, not kindness. He had remained himself in spirit form. His humor, his smile, all of it so very… human. But the shades I had seen were different. Corrupted somehow. Chad had been a victim.
But the other shades chose this, didn’t they?
“Did they?” Slade countered.
I stared at him a moment before answering, thinking things over.
Many people lived in a world riddled by crime, sickness, and sadness. They believed God had forsaken them, or maybe they didn’t believe in Him at all. When their reaper came to them, they wouldn’t, or just couldn’t believe, because they had lost all hope.
Jonah’s story returned to me. I’d thought I understood it, but I’d never really been taught the nuance of the story of Jonah and the whale.
How had every preacher I’d ever met totally missed the point?
Yes, it was a cautionary tale of faith and trusting God. But it was all about forgiving our fellow man. I mean, really forgiving them. Not burying your dead cat after the neighbor hits it with a car and leaving the tail up above the ground as a constant reminder of what they did.
That was a gross analogy but one I’d heard before about forgiving and forgetting.
Jonah’s story was about second chances.
God had gifted me with the privilege of giving the lost souls a second chance.
Like Jonah with the Ninevites, the shades scared me, but in the end, we were all God’s children, some had just been led astray. And like the little sparrow who falls in the wood, none of us had been forgotten, right?
“Wouldn’t you like to return their hope?” Slade asked softly.
“You know, I’d appreciate some vocal conversing here,” Max intoned. “What are we talking about?”
“Kody, are shades something to fear? Or are they just lost souls?”
“Um, I guess not.” I was beginning to understand.
Brady had not been afraid. He’d seen them crying. Yet I had only seen smoky, faceless beings. “Why can’t I see them the way Brady did?”
“Because you’re letting your fear rule you,” Slade answered. “But you already knew that.”
I nodded. Yeah, I did know that.
“Are you ready, then?” Slade asked.
Max and I shared a look. Maybe my confidence had influenced and overridden his fear. Faint traces of it still lingered about him, but he pursed his lips and gave me a curt nod.
“You got this,” Max assured me.
I looked back at Slade, my hand tightening on Max’s. “Yes, I think so.”
“I’m going to open a small gap to limbo,” Slade explained. “Don’t be afraid.”
“Shit.” Max sucked in a breath, and his fear spiked, making my heart race. “Give a guy a warning, huh?”
“I just did. But don’t worry. I’ll only let one through,” Slade promised.
Max’s hand sweated in mine. I didn’t think I could let go of him.
“I don’t want to do this without Max,” I insisted.
“This time I wouldn’t expect you to.” Slade studied Max. “The light, your shield, will protect Kody. You need to focus on your love. Not anger, not fighting. Love. Be brave like Jonah, trust that God has your back. And remember this shade is one of His children. You two are here to lead him home. Nothing else. Do you understand?”
Max pursed his lips tighter, nodding. Light crackled on his fingertips and against my hand. I didn’t pull away, but rather, tightened my grip.
To me, Slade said, “Whatever you need, Max will give you, okay?”
I remembered the shimmering umbrella, and how the more I took, the stronger Max became. Even if I broke the connection of our hands, like I had when I helped Chad, Max would still be there.
Forever.
I looked down at him, his face determined, lips pursed. Or eyes met and a hint of a smile curved his lips. He was scared, but I could also
feel his pride, his confidence in me.
“You got this, babe,” Max told me. “And I got you.”
Never had I loved him more.
Slade raised his hands, drawing our attention. I held my breath and Max squeezed my hand as Slade made a sweeping gesture over his head. Like a magician on stage, a master of illusion, he waved his hand a second time. With a crackling sound like the zap of static electricity, the motion seemed to rent a gash in the universe. Like reality was a reel of movie film and Slade had just cut a hole in it.
Through the tear, I caught only a glimpse of what was on the other side before it was gone. Limbo was black and white, just the way I remembered, all shapes and movement, yet not. All of it, just out of the corner of your eye but nothing to focus on. I wondered then, was purgatory like being in the belly of a whale for the shades? Did the insanity of it all push them over the edge?
I’d been so unsettled, scared even, when I’d been there, but I’d had Slade.
The shades had no one.
No wonder some fell for the lure of the wraiths. The promise of a second chance at life would be awfully tempting if one were stuck in between. They must see it as their only chance to escape the madness.
But that wasn’t true anymore.
Now they had another chance.
And only Max and I could give it to them.
“Is that—” Max looked in the gash. “—purgatory?”
“Yup,” Slade said quickly, waving his hand and healing the rift.
A chilly presence now permeated the air, the New Orleans sweltering heat gone, as if we’d walked into a meat locker.
“Remember love,” I said out loud, and Max’s hand loosened its death grip on me.
Before us stood a gray shadow, the ice of its presence making me shiver. I glanced at Max, but he’d locked his gaze on the shade, both hands sparking. Keeping the door closed to my heart, I held my breath, waiting for the screaming thoughts to hit me, all the cold and the pain.
Can you help me? I’m so tired….
It wasn’t a scream this time, but a plea.
Maybe the difference was because I’d prepared for it, or maybe because of Max’s strength, or the knowledge and understanding I’d recently gained. While the shade’s fear filled me, like Slade said, it was the shade’s emotion, not mine.
I drew on Max’s warmth and felt him shielding me, keeping my heart safe.
Blinking a few times, I stared at the ghostly specter. Each time I blinked, he seemed to come into focus, like that big eye-tester at the ophthalmologist, each lens bringing my vision more clarity.
“Was blind but now I see….”
“Amazing Grace” had always been my favorite gospel song. The words had never made more sense to me than they did while I studied this creature. I tried to remember the pity I’d experienced at the hospice center with Brady, and with James the veteran, and just now, Chad.
With Max and Slade here, I had nothing to fear. I only needed to concentrate on this shade—this person!
If I didn’t start seeing them as people, how would I ever be able to help them?
“What is your name?” I asked.
“Laurence,” it whispered, voice distant and raspy.
Was it in my head, or had he spoken out loud?
Max’s hand convulsed on mine, and I wanted to ask if he’d heard the shade—the man—speak, but I needed to concentrate and not let my emotions escape me. The man’s grief and fear were cloying and all-encompassing, even more powerful than the grief of all Brady’s mourning family members. I didn’t feel distraught, but I did feel woozy and light-headed—like that time I’d drunk beer at the gay bar near campus. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, being cloudy, then or now.
But Max’s heat continued to funnel into me, keeping me strong. I actively drew on his power until I began to focus and my blind eyes began to see. Slowly Laurence came into focus.
In my head, Slade’s gentle command whispered, “Just help him like you did the other two. It’s no different, Kody. They’re all God’s children. You can do this.”
Determined, I took a deep nasal breath. Beside me Max gasped a little, but his grip on my hand never wavered.
I focused on the man’s spirit—on Laurence, the person.
“Are you ready to leave, Laurence?” I asked him. “To move on?”
The man said nothing, but he was crisper now, shadowy, yes, but I could finally see his face, distinguish features. His brown skin, his wild eyes, his old-fashioned clothes. The neon shapes and designs on his T-shirt, the acid-washed jeans, looked like something Meegan would’ve worn. All of it so decidedly human.
“You’ve been here a long time, haven’t you?” I prompted.
Then he was staring right at me, wild-eyed. Holding my breath, I could feel his panic. Just before I thought he might lunge for me or bolt, clarity came to his eyes. “It was an accident…. I-I never meant to do it.”
I didn’t ask him what was an accident, because suddenly I saw the gun, the foolish game of Russian roulette at a party, and heard the bullet. I felt his pain, the shock… he was hurting so badly!
Overcome with a desire I could barely fathom, I reached out to him.
My hand shook, and it was as if I had no strength of my own. No will of my own. Only the determined need to stop his pain. Power moved through me, sparkling and effervescent. Golden and glorious… and now as familiar as the love Max gave me so freely.
Holy spirit.
God, please help me. Help me help him….
Then, trusting my Lord and Savior, I laid my hand upon him.
The surge of energy rushing out of me did not circle back into me, stealing my strength. It did not drain me, rather, Max’s light kept my heart safe, refilling everything I gave. I let the holy spirit funnel through me and directly into Laurence. To my left, I conjured a door, easier than any piece of magic I had ever performed because God Himself was by my side.
“Laurence, it’s over,” I told him, pushing my healing strength into him as God worked through me. “You can go home now.”
Hand on his elbow, I walked him to the door. Somewhere along the way, I’d let go of Max’s hand, or he’d released me. Though Max was no longer touching me, I still felt his power uniting us as one, in spirit and purpose.
Laurence looked back at me, and with the light of heaven glowing behind him I saw him clearly for the first time. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
Then he slipped through the door.
The light faded, and a rush of power left me. Gasping in shock, I blinked a few times, and then everything went black.
MAX—Chapter 14
“HE’S GOING to be okay, right?” I asked Slade for the millionth time.
Kody lay in our bed, for all intents and purposes looking soundly asleep.
The shade—Laurence, Kody had called him—had been more corporeal than the ones I’d seen before, but that had only been because I’d been seeing the entire exchange through Kody’s eyes.
I couldn’t quite explain it, but the more I gained control of my powers, the more I seemed to be connected to Kody, as if we really were two parts of one soul. I’d been afraid for Kody, but as he reached understanding, his calm had eased my fears. His empathy healed my fear while I protected his heart.
The whole thing had been surreal, beautiful even… until Kody passed out.
“He’s just fine, Max,” Slade assured me, grinning at Kody like a proud papa.
Slade’s pleased demeanor managed to keep me from falling into the panic that seemed to be lurking just below the surface. “Will he always pass out like this when he helps a shade?” I asked, chewing on my thumbnail. Arms pretzeled tight, I brushed a finger over Meegan’s opal, calming myself with its coolness.
A kind smile crossed his face. “No, not once he understands how it all works.”
Slade put his hand on my shoulder, and I had a sharp flashback to the moment he told me I’d lost Meegan. That sa
me serenity swept over me and my arms dropped to my sides. I knew he was doing something with magic—with love—but I needed the strength he gave me.
“Max, there are so many things going on in the universe, and I’m doing my best to get you and all the team prepared. The wraiths are gaining in strength. They no longer fear the light, hunting for recruits and new vessels even during the day. The shades are weak and susceptible to their dark promises and lies. The entire world is consumed with commercialism, seeking pleasure, power, and money. The hate and frustration among the living is becoming a tangible thing. The simple, honest parts of life—trust, loyalty, and integrity—are getting harder and harder to find. People have anxiety and depression on a level that I’ve never seen in my entire existence. And when they die, you know as well as I do, none of that goes away. What peace and joy they could not find in life will be your privilege and your responsibility to help them find in death.”
I nodded, feeling a surge of conviction. “I want to do that.”
“I know you do. The two of you will help people cross over just like the rest of the team, but things will be different, the cases harder. And at all hours of the day.” He gave me a meaningful look.
In the beginning, Slade had only assigned Kody cases during the day, in order to minimize chances of encountering wraiths—creatures of shadow who found it easier to hide in the dark.
I swallowed hard. “Are we ready for that?”
“You’ll have to be,” he said. “But I think you are because now you both can see all of them for what they are.” He paused, waiting expectantly.
“Lost souls,” I said and the hair on my arms and back of my neck prickled.
“Yes, Max, you’re getting it. And they’re still God’s children, whether they take you guys up on a second chance or not. But right now, I want you to help Kody get his strength back. Then the two of you will go out with Kelli.”
“Kelli?”
“Some time ago one of her charges became a shade,” he told me.
“It did?”
“Yes.” He arched a brow. “Haven’t you noticed she’s been acting off?”