All of him. For the rest of her days. She might have run from marriage with Harry, but she wanted Roy. She ignored the alarms in her head that told her to stifle her next sentence, but she said anyhow, “I don’t want us to talk about not loving each other anymore.”
His lips curled into a half smile. “Fair enough. Is that it?”
This was it? They were agreeing to have a baby? Her breasts and body were beyond ready for his touch as his kisses earlier only left her wishing for more. She pressed her hand on his chest. “One more thing.”
“What?” He didn’t move at all.
Her heart beat so fast she wasn’t sure she could get out the words, but she needed to. She held his gaze. This wasn’t a lie on her end, though for him it might be. She’d never tell him how she felt, but she was already in love with Roy. No other man might ever make her happy, but she held that back and instead glanced at the ground as she said, “I don’t want everyone in your family to know all these details. Let them think we’re happy and in love too.”
“Not a problem, Caitlyn.” He closed his eyes and lowered his head toward hers. She lifted her head to meet him and the warm air between their lips made her tingle already.
She closed her own too and puckered her lips, but then stopped and said, “Lastly.”
“Yeah?” He paused a fraction of an inch from her.
It was impossible to ignore her thoughts anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck and said, “I want you Roy. I want this more than anything else. I thought I should tell you.”
“I want you too, Caitlyn.” He pulled her so close that she could feel the hardness of his entire body, his rigid muscles and his manhood, now hers to touch and hold.
But as his lips met hers, she forgot about everything else. All that mattered was that they were together. The rest of the world disappeared.
Hannah’s naked body was warm and toasty as she curled into Roy’s chest.
Harry had never made her scream, ever. She hadn’t realized a person might crave more than one round of sex. For a long time, she thought she’d loved Harry and still did as a friend—but she’d clearly misjudged him because last night blew her past out of the water.
Maybe admitting that she loved Roy made everything better. She wasn’t sure, but she hummed to herself. She turned toward the ocean and the full moon that rose high above the dark waters.
If she could sleep she would, but adrenaline coursed through her. She sat up, holding the sheet to her breasts and looked farther out to the ocean and the dark horizon.
She glanced back at Roy with a pang. He was handsome and strong and protective and sweet and hot. He really was the whole package.
He tugged on the sheet and reached out for her. She scooted closer but whispered his name, “Roy?”
Without opening his eyes or moving really, he said, “It’s still dark out, Caitlyn.”
So, he wanted to sleep. She probably should let him. She bit her lip for a moment and wanted to hold back as she settled against her pillow. But her heart beat too fast right now. She whispered and hoped he heard her as she said, “I don’t want you to think that this is just because I want to be safe.”
Again, he didn’t open his eyes, but his voice was clearer as he said, “Go back to sleep.”
Good advice but she couldn’t. While she couldn’t tell him how she felt, she needed to be clearer with him. She kept her voice low as she said, “This is important. I’ve wanted to be your wife ever since I saw how dedicated you are to your family, and how hard you work every day to prove their innocence.”
Finally his eyes opened and she could see into his warm brown depths as he asked, “Why would that impress you?”
The mysterious song in her head that she hummed returned. Honestly, until she’d lived with Roy, she never had this lightness or any song on replay like this. But she was happy and she smiled when she said, “Because your loyalty is even more impressive than how sexy you are.”
He propped himself up on an elbow and stared down at her. Her heart began a new patter as he asked, “Do you trust me, Caitlyn?”
“Yes.” Her answer wasn’t because they’d just shared a bed; it was because of his actions throughout this ordeal. He’d earned her trust and respect.
He traced her face and neck, kissed her shoulder and asked, “Then how come you left your job in DC and married me, a complete stranger?”
This question clearly bothered him. Her pulse zipped, but the quietness of the room made her focus only on his words. If she could tell him about the police, she’d feel better. But she’d promised and hopefully her testimony had helped the police stop Jensen’s friends already. But she owed Roy the truth though her face heated as she finally admitted, “Hannah and Lois.”
His brow furrowed. “What?”
She’d avoided telling him any of this because she hadn’t wanted his judgment. What kind of woman left a life behind just to be with her friends? It wasn’t much of a life, though she’d learned a lot about herself.
And it was also time to speak with Officer Baxter and let him know that she was going to tell Roy about working with the police. She’d promised to keep it a secret, so she would wait until she formally quit, but she didn’t want any secrets between her and Roy.
“Hannah’s my best friend. She wanted to go home without hurting her pride and admitting she’d lost her inheritance.”
He lowered himself down to look directly into her face. “So?”
If he kissed her, they could both forget this. But the speed of her pulse meant she was nervous. She hoped for the song to return to her heart that she often hummed, but it wasn’t there. She lowered her head and whispered like she spilled her darkest secret, “So Hannah and Lois were my only friends and without them I’d be alone.”
His hand brushed against her cheek again and she gazed into his warm eyes. She expected judgment but instead she saw peace. The song returned to her head and heart as his sexy voice said, “So you married me to stay near your friends. Why didn’t you tell me that the many times I asked you?”
True. He had asked, multiple times. She hadn’t meant to evade. She curled her leg around his waist to keep him close as she said, “Because I sound weak and you already think I’m weak.”
“I do?” He brushed her hair off her face, laying it on the pillow.
She didn’t move but nodded. “You must. I never want to leave the building. I’m happy when most people wouldn’t be. And I was willing to accept the status quo with you.”
“Was? Something changed?” he asked though she felt his erection between them growing.
She kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his shoulders, his chest and his lips as she said, “Yes. Every day since we’ve married, I’ve been more and more attracted to you and I never told you. And it wasn’t about safety. It was because I saw that you are truly a good person.”
Her body was warm and waiting for him. He didn’t move but instead said, “Thank you for telling me and for the record, ma’am, you’re not weak at all.”
“Never call me ma’am.”
With that he kissed her, and she pushed the sheets and blankets off them. She wanted him, again and again and never wanted to leave their cocoon.
* * *
Birds chirped outside the window. Her eyes fluttered opened and she hummed to herself as she sat up, alone in Roy’s bed.
In the distance she heard the shower running.
She reached out to the chair beside the bed and picked up her dress, shrugging it on as her husband turned the water off in the shower and strolled out to the bedroom, wrapped only in his towel.
His strong body was still wet and showed off every contour of muscles. He walked to the bureau and chose a white shirt.
She sat on the bed in her cotton dress. “Roy?”
“Yeah?” He turned around and that wicked grin of his meant he was thinking about last night.
She scooted closer to where he stood as she stayed on the bed and asked, “Why are yo
u okay with having me as your wife?”
He tossed his shirt beside her, his underwear, and opened the closet, pulling out a pair of pants. With the clothes, he sat beside her and said, “Probably the same reasons as you.”
He tugged on his underwear.
She watched him drop the towel on the floor, clearly not embarrassed. She shouldn’t be either, though she stilled and asked, “Probably? Can you spell out your reasons more clearly?”
He laughed as he saw her attention on his private parts, but then he winked and joked, “Yes, counselor.” His tone became serious. “I wanted you. I had my doubts as your story made my head spin, but I wanted you.”
Jitters grew inside her because of this conversation. She’d never been this raw with baring herself to anyone, ever though she hadn’t uttered the word ‘love.’ The undercurrent was there. This had to be enough. She took a deep breath and tried to sound rational. “Well, you have me. Anything else?”
She cringed at the vulnerability she heard in her own voice with her question.
He turned and let his leg rest on the bed as he edged closer to her. “And I knew you were a good person the day you volunteered to help my mother. I realized I’d cast you as a bad person, needing money or marriage to someone in jail. You proved me wrong.”
“I’m a nurse.” She was doing her job and it wasn’t meant as a romantic gesture. “It’s the only skill I have really.”
He squeezed her thigh gently. “But you could have stayed home and done nothing. The day someone tried to kill Ollie at the hospital, I was worried about my brother, but I immediately thought I’d failed you if something happened.”
Really? He’d been worried? She hadn’t known that. She’d thought he’d showed up for his mother and brother, not her—though she’d glued herself to his side then. Perhaps if she had the permission from the police officer, she could tell Roy everything. Honesty would be good. For now she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as she said, “Oh, Roy!”
He kissed her, and they fell back on the bed.
Heat coursed through her fast again.
However, his phone rang and they both sat and stared at it across the room in the charger. She adjusted her dress as he stood to check it and she asked the obvious, “Who would call you this early? It must be important.”
His shoulders tightened as he grabbed the phone and held up his finger. “Hold on.” He rushed across the bedroom and out the door as he said, “I’ll be right back.”
Strange. She stood and found her underwear on the floor next to the chair. “I’ll be here.”
Something big must have happened. She slipped into the bathroom and cleaned herself up and by the time she returned to the bedroom, he stormed back inside and grabbed his pants.
“Who was it?”
He finished pulling his pants on and then took her hand. “Jake. Sam Zandi is headed toward our building.”
“It’s so early in the morning.” Her mind went blank. Sure, her excuse made no sense even as she said it, but she was at a loss.
He then waved at her and quickly threw his shirt over his head. “Yes. Hurry and get ready fast. I need us to be prepared.”
Now ice raced through her. Roy never rushed around in the morning. “Where are Dylan and Lois?”
He found a pair of socks and jumped to put them on as he said, “They are still out of town.”
She stood beside him. In the ER, she’d faced daily emergencies but rarely became emotionally involved. She hadn’t like her job then but at least it kept her level now. “What can I do?”
He placed his hand on her lower back and they headed out together. Adrenaline now coursed for a new reason as he said, “Let’s get the others and meet up with my parents. If something happens, it’s better if we’re together.”
The last time the building was attacked, they’d all hidden in various places and it had been a nightmare. He was right. She grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter, realizing her battery was almost dead. As they left the condo, she quickly said as she typed, “Texting the wives but they are probably still sleeping.”
He nodded and led her to the elevator as he pressed the button and said, “Can you knock on my parents’ door and get them up?”
If she went up, he was going down and her best friend was in the middle. “I’ll stop at Logan and Hannah’s too.”
As the elevator opened, and he headed toward the staircase, she called out, “Hannah just texted back—I’ll go straight up.”
He tapped the door frame and the stairs going down. “I’ll get the others. Hurry.”
“Okay. See you soon.” She ran into the elevator.
This wasn’t how she’d expected the morning to go, but it didn’t matter. Roy needed to get up to her fast. He was right that they needed to be together and face whatever happened as a family.
Caitlyn made sure that Ava was calmly talking with Hannah and then went into the kitchen to raid the Bentley’s refrigerator. Her hands shook when she was still, so she busied herself by making cinnamon rolls.
While living in the commune, she’d discovered that baking helped her release stress.
She kneaded the ingredients and focused on the dough, patting it until it was no longer sticky, then she stirred the sweet topping that began to bubble on the stove. Officer Baxter hadn’t answered his phone when she’d called, but it was early. She’d try again later and maybe she’d see him when he came to help the Bentley family.
She rolled the dough into a log and then sliced it and placed it on a tray, which she shoved in the oven. Cinnamon scented the air.
The door opened and her heart raced as Roy and his two brothers, with their two wives and children, walked inside.
He patted his brothers on the back and then joined her. She felt a jitter inside her though she finished creating a second tray. “Roy, there you are.”
“What are you doing?” He peeked into the oven to see her cinnamon rolls.
He closed it and her heart returned to its normal speed while she washed her hands. “I’m making breakfast while Hannah jokes with your mom.”
Roy took down the espresso maker and tea pots from their spots on the shelves. “I’ll help you.”
“Thanks.” He’d make the drinks, while she’d work on eggs. She took two dozen from the refrigerator. They moved in synch as they prepared to feed his entire family which might double as a football team. “Scrambled will be easiest with this many people.”
“Agreed.”
Jake typed on his laptop with a fierce expression. Roy finished brewing tea and started on the espresso. “Any news on Sam’s location?”
Jake didn’t even glance up. “Not yet. The police don’t have a file on him, so he’s not considered a threat.”
Caitlyn paused and pursed her lips. That wasn’t true entirely. She’d reported Sam to Baxter a year ago. He had all her notes on the guy.
Jake continued typing, his fingers fluid. “I’m glad Lois isn’t here. Dylan’s been talking to his wife and from what I understand, she’d avoided Adam, but she also had issues with Sam.”
Lois’ fears hadn’t been something Caitlyn could report in its entirety as Lois kept her thoughts to herself.
Caitlyn returned to her baking, but Roy reached out and brushed against her shoulder. “What do you and Hannah recall about Sam? Any skills we should know?”
Skills? Baxter needed to show up soon so she could quit and tell Roy everything—and he might have something about Sam in the reports she’d given him. Her skin felt jumpy but she met Roy’s gaze and answered as best she could. “I remember he used to fix things around the camp. I usually kept to myself to be honest and modeled “perfect” behavior to avoid extra attention.”
“You can blend.” He let her go.
Her insides twisted that she’d made a mistake in not telling him. She wished she felt better about her decision but she was stuck between one promise and Roy’s trust. “True.”
“What else?” Roy wrote
down the words “handy” and “tools”.
The Bentleys had to know more. She went back to the kitchen and tried to put away the flour, but she banged it too hard in place and some of the powder splashed up at her. She deserved more than flour in her face but she ignored the rush in her veins and said, “He carried a gun sometimes.”
“Armed” Roy wrote on his pad of paper and then he took out his phone and said, “I’m texting security. Anything else?”
That he needed to keep his family safe. The police should have shared the files on all of this and her mind couldn’t fathom why they hadn’t. She went to the sink to wash her face. “I honestly don’t know what he did with Reverend Jensen. I was too busy setting the tables or helping in the kitchen.”
He handed her a dry towel as he said, “You are a good cook.”
“I try to keep myself useful.” She wiped her face, wishing somehow she could just focus on being with Roy and that none of these threats were real.
Jake stood abruptly with his laptop. “Security says Sam just entered the building.”
Roy blocked her like it was his nature to protect her. “I still think we should have our security team kick him out.”
“But then we don’t learn what he intends to do and if we might get any clues as to who is behind all of this,” Jake said. “This is the plan, remember.”
Avoidance was her usual plan. Her hands shook. She turned off the faucet and set the towel on the rack as she told Roy, “I’ll serve the coffee.”
“No.” He brushed his hand against hers and gently tugged as he said, “You need to join the wives and children in the safe room.”
She needed to speak to the police and she hoped Baxter was part of the team this morning. This way any doubts would be erased, and she’d tell Roy everything. She reached for the coffee pot to stall for time. “After I make sure that everyone is served.”
He took the pot from her and put it back. She should have reached for the tea anyhow as most of his family drank that instead, but she kept that to herself as he said, “I’ll ensure my brothers and father have what they need. Take the cups into the safe room with you.”
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