“No, but I couldn’t continue to say ‘it,’ so I started saying she. I figure I have a fifty-fifty shot at being right.” She leaned back against the cushions, her expression smug.
“I see.” By next year at this time, there’d be a new little person in his life, one he’d be responsible for and—He pushed those thoughts aside. One problem at a time. “So, you’ll think about moving here?”
“Nope,” she said.
Argh. Why was she being so stubborn? That would be the perfect solution. You mean perfect for you. He blocked out the accusing voice in his head. “Why not? Your skills would transfer to any of the emergency rooms here and you could probably earn more, too.”
“But I wouldn’t be happy. I like living in Loon Lake. I like where I am, the people I work with.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“But didn’t you say you were looking for a new job?” He seized on what he could to convince her while trying to ignore the way her crossed arms pushed up her chest.
“Those plans are up in the air for now.” She patted her stomach. “It may take me a bit longer to finish the degree.”
Guilt jabbed him. Here he was, trying to get her to do what he wanted to make life easier for him, without giving any thought to how this affected her plans. Was he that selfish? “Is there anything I can do?”
“Not unless you want to carry this baby for a while.” She raised her eyebrows at him.
“Would that I could.” His gaze went to her stomach. “But if you were upstairs, I could feed you, help you study.”
She shook her head. “And don’t you think having us living right upstairs would cramp your style? It might be hard to explain to your dates.”
“There won’t be any dates. I already told you there hasn’t been anyone since...well, there hasn’t been anyone else.” He hated admitting his self-imposed drought, but maybe the reassurance would help change her mind. That’s mighty big of you, McBride. When did you get to be such an—
“But that doesn’t mean there won’t be. You’re not planning on being celibate the rest of your life, are you?” She raised her eyebrows at him.
Hell no. Huh, might be best to keep that to himself for now. He had better survival instincts than to continue any talk about sex, even if that’s what he’d been hoping for when he’d spotted her on his front steps. And how had this conversation deteriorated into a discussion of his sex life? Ellie had an uncanny ability to know what he was thinking and...yeah, best not dwell on that. She might be ignoring their chemistry, but it still sparked, at least for him. Although this might not be the best time to point that out. “How about we just get through telling the necessary people our news for now?”
“Sounds like a plan. I drank the rest of your milk.”
“Oh-kaay...” The abrupt change of topic was enough to give him whiplash, but he’d take it. “We can go to the corner store and get more.”
Her face brightened. “How far is it? This looks like a nice neighborhood to take a walk.”
She wanted to take a walk? Hey, it was better than sitting here, not talking about sex. “Speaking of walking, where’s your car? I didn’t notice it out front.”
Her gaze bounced away. “That’s because it’s not exactly out front.”
“Oh? There are usually spots this time of the day. For instance, there was the one I took.” He knew where this was going and he was going to enjoy taking it there. Teasing Ellie and watching her eyes spark always made him want to lean over and—huh, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
“Well...there was only one and I thought... I thought—”
“Are you telling me you can’t parallel park?” He leaned closer.
She scooted off the couch and went toward the bay windows. “Hey, it’s not my fault. It’s genetics. I’m missing the parallel parking gene.”
“Genetics?” He stood and followed, as if tethered by invisible rope. “So does that mean this deficiency can be passed on? Isn’t that something you should have warned me about?”
“Sorry?” She sucked on her bottom lip.
“Eh.” He bit the inside of his cheek, trapping a smile. “Too late now. C’mon. Let’s go to the corner store for milk.” He puffed out his chest. “And while we’re at it, I’ll pull your car closer if you want, since I’m in possession of this awesome gene.”
“Oh, brother.” She rolled her eyes. “This corner store wouldn’t by any chance have sandwiches or a deli?”
Was she serious? “You’re hungry?”
“Starved.”
“But I thought...” Liam tried to remember what Meg had been like when she was pregnant with Fiona and James, but his sister had hidden it or he’d been too blind to notice. Yeah, he was good at ignoring the obvious. Like with his ma. “If you say you’re hungry, then I’ll feed you.”
She shook her head. “Yeah, not with what you’ve got on hand. I checked.”
“You rummaged through my cupboards?” Was she really that hungry?
She scrunched up her nose. “Yes, Mother Hubbard, and I hate to break it to you, but they’re pretty bare.”
Who cared about what his kitchen cabinets did or did not contain when that pert, freckled nose was begging to be kissed?
“McBride?”
“Huh?” He shook his head, trying to get back on topic. He blamed his self-imposed eight-week period of celibacy for his lack of concentration.
She pointed to her mouth. “Food?”
It was his turn to wrinkle his nose. “You’re serious about wanting to eat?”
“Oh, you mean because of the...in the bathroom?” She tilted her head toward the hallway and pulled a face.
He needed to proceed with caution if he wanted to avoid an argument or, worse, hurting her feelings. “You snapped at me for even suggesting coffee.”
She fiddled with the neck of her sweater. “Yeah, about that... I lied. Sorry. The smell turns my stomach. I haven’t been able to drink it or smell it for the past few weeks.”
He glanced at the mug he’d set on the floor next to his recliner. “Do you want me to get rid of mine?”
Her eyes widened. “You mean you’d do that for me?”
“Of course.” The coffee was probably cold by now, anyway. No great loss. He could make another cup when they got back from the store.
“That’s so sweet,” she gushed. “I can’t tell you how much that would mean...you giving up coffee for the next seven months.”
Wait...what? He opened his mouth but was incapable of forming words.
She patted his chest and hooted with laughter. “Sucker.”
Yeah, he’d walked right into that one, but Ellie’s laugh was worth it. Ellie made a lot of things worth it. He couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone but her.
Chapter Nine
Ellie pondered the situation as they made their way to the corner store. His offer to be present when she broke the news to her parents had surprised and pleased her, and yet at the same time disappointed her. Had she expected more or were her hormones messing with her? Regardless, she had to admit she yearned for an admission that he’d missed her as much as she had him and that he regretted the no-strings-attached part of their arrangement. She needed to remember her vow to stay rooted in reality. Learn to want what you have, not wish for what you don’t. Even if he’d proposed marriage, she wouldn’t have accepted. She didn’t want to end up like her mother with a kitchen table that had a lazy Susan but no one to use it. No shared meals or lively conversations. Now, her parents sat in front of the TV so they didn’t have to talk and slept in separate bedrooms. They were like ghosts rattling around in the same house. Things hadn’t been like that before her diagnosis and Ellie carried the burden of guilt. If she hadn’t gotten cancer, would her mom and dad still be that loving, demonstrative couple she remembered from her pre-cancer days? The thought
of doing something like that to her own child chilled her.
Instead of dwelling on a past she couldn’t change, she pushed aside depressing thoughts to admire the differences and similarities in the homes lining the narrow street. Front porches and columns were common, although some had ornate railings and trim while many of the homeowners had boxed in the rococo trim using vinyl siding. She glanced back at Liam’s and admired how his had only original details...except one. “How come yours is the only one with an external fire escape?”
“I’m the only fireman on the block.”
Before she could comment, an elderly woman wearing a burgundy sweatshirt that said World’s Greatest Grandma came toward them, dragging a fully loaded fold-up shopping cart.
Liam approached the woman. “Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, looks like you could use some help getting that up your steps.”
“Morning, Liam. I’m not the doddering old woman you seem to think, but since you’re here...” She opened the gate on a chain-link fence surrounding a three-decker painted the same red and cream as Liam’s.
“It’s not your age but your beauty that attracts me, Mrs. Sullivan.” He took the shopping cart from her.
“Oh, you are so full of it today, Liam McBride.” She leaned around him and smiled at Ellie. “Is that because you have this lovely young lady with you?”
“You wound me, Mrs. Sullivan, I assure you I’m totally sincere.” He picked up the cart and set it on the wooden porch of the home.
Ellie’s stomach tingled at Liam’s solicitous behavior toward the older woman. It confirmed what she’d always known about his character.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” The older woman clucked her tongue.
“Of course. Ellie Harding, this is Mrs. Sullivan.” He motioned between the women.
“Fiddle faddle, I told you to call me Barbara.” The woman poked him. “A pleasure to meet you, Ellie.”
Ellie shook hands with the woman. “Same here.”
“I haven’t seen you around here before,” the older woman said.
Ellie smiled at Barbara Sullivan. “That’s because I live in Vermont. Loon Lake.”
“Ah, that explains why Liam was gone so much this summer.” The woman grinned and poked him again. “And here you were, telling me you were helping your sister.”
He raised his hands, palms out. “I was. I helped them add a new master suite and family room.”
“Why didn’t you say something about Ellie when I tried to set you up with my granddaughter Chloe?”
He wanted her to live upstairs so he could take care of her? Yeah, right. And how would Chloe feel about a third or fourth wheel? Or maybe he wasn’t interested in this Chloe because of their summer fling. Realistic? Maybe not, but it helped her to keep smiling at Chloe’s grandmother.
“Shame on you for not telling me you already had someone in Vermont,” the woman continued.
“That’s because I—”
“We’re not—”
Mrs. Sullivan looked from one to the other. “Uh-huh. Usually I see him and he’s running or jogging or some such thing to keep fit for the ladies. You’re not running today, Liam? But I guess if you’ve already been caught...”
“I’m not running because—” His brow knit and he hooked his thumb in Ellie’s direction. “She’s crap at keeping up.”
“Apparently I’m crap at parallel parking, too,” Ellie muttered. She didn’t want to think about Liam and other women. And she certainly didn’t want someone insinuating that she’d “caught” Liam as if she’d deliberately set a trap by getting pregnant.
“Don’t worry about it, dear. I’ve lived on this street for fifty years and never learned to parallel park.” Barbara Sullivan winked at Ellie.
“You don’t own a car,” Liam pointed out.
The woman shot him an affronted look. “What’s that got to do with it?”
Liam heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Apparently nothing. Do you need help getting your shopping inside?”
“No, but thank you. Now you and your Ellie enjoy your walk.” The older woman made a shooing motion.
“She seems nice,” Ellie said as Liam shut the gate with a clang of metal.
Liam nodded. “Mmm, she is...for the most part.”
“Sorry if she assumed that we were...well, that we were together.” Good grief, why was she apologizing? This baby wasn’t an immaculate conception—even if that’s what she’d love to be able tell her dad. Not to mention all the elderly ladies at the church next time she volunteered at the weekly luncheon. Oh, grow up, those women were all young once. “But then, we’re going to have a baby so I guess you can’t get more together than that.”
He frowned. “Are you saying—”
“I’m not saying anything. Like I said—huh, well, I guess I am saying something.” Damn hormones. “But I’m not pressing you for anything.”
“For God’s sake, Ellie, I’ll do my share.”
The rational part of her brain, when it still worked, knew that expecting him to move would be as crazy as him expecting her to move. Offering her a place to live might solve the problem of distance for him, but being on the periphery of Liam’s life was not what she wanted. She wanted to be Liam’s life. She wanted what Meg and Riley, or Mary and Brody, had. Yeah, that right there was the problem. “That might be difficult since you’ll be here and I’ll be in Loon Lake.”
“Careful.” He placed a hand under her elbow and pointed to the uneven sidewalk.
“I’m pregnant, not blind.” She cringed at her own waspish tone and blinked to hold back tears. Since when did she have the power to make people react or feel the way she wanted? If she had that power, she’d have put her parents’ in-name-only marriage back together.
“But with my schedule, I can get ninety-six hours off, unless I take extra shifts. That’s four days.”
“I know how long ninety-six hours is.” And she knew how long it took to drive from his place to hers. How involved could she honestly expect him to be? She might have regularly scheduled hours at her job but it wasn’t as if she was always able to leave on time. Same for Liam if they got called out before quitting time; she knew he couldn’t just leave.
He blew out his breath. “Are you trying to start a fight?”
“No.” Liar. “Maybe.”
He stopped, placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. His gaze scanned her face, his blue eyes full of concern. “What can I do to get your mind off fighting?”
An image popped into her head. Yeah, like she was going to suggest something like that. She chose option two. “You could try feeding me.”
Was that disappointment on his face? Hmm, seems his mind had gone there, too. Join the club. But now was not a good time to muddle things with sex, her sensible half pointed out. But it could be so much fun, her daring half argued.
At the moment hunger was the deciding factor. Those cookies and milk she’d eaten while Liam was in the shower seemed like ages ago. “Is that pizza I smell?”
“There’s a small place around the corner.”
Her stomach growled. “Can we go there?”
“It’s barely ten and that place is a grease pit.” He frowned.
“And your point is?”
“Grease can’t be good for...for—” his Adam’s apple bobbed “—the baby.”
“For your information, grease is a food group.” Despite her insistence, a pizza didn’t hold the same appeal as it had a few minutes ago. And yet a feeling of dissatisfaction made her persist. “Are you going to feed me or not?”
“Fine. We can go to there if you really want or we can go to the store and get milk, some stuff for sandwiches and maybe some fruit or salad.”
She already regretted acting so disagreeable. Why did being with Liam again make her feel so contrary? She was blaming her
body’s reaction to his touch. “Fruit and salad? Who are you and what have you done with the Liam I know?”
“Smart aleck.” He dropped his hands, but not before giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze and dropping a kiss on the end of her nose.
She fell into step beside him. “Actually, sandwiches sound better than pizza.”
He draped an arm around her shoulders. “If you insist on empty calories after sandwiches, I have some snickerdoodles from Meg and—”
“Had,” she interrupted.
“Huh?”
“Had, as in past tense. I...uh, found them while I was tidying up. Why do you think I drank the rest of your milk?”
“Huh.” He rubbed his chin. “I guess my cupboards weren’t as bare as you claimed.”
“Don’t push it, McBride.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Harding.”
A bell dinged and a cashier greeted them when they entered the neighborhood store, reminding Ellie of the Whatleys’ Loon Lake General Store; Liam’s offer of an apartment in his building flashed through her mind, but she just as quickly discarded it. They’d muddle through somehow, especially since their work schedules gave them both stretches with days off.
The cashier who’d greeted Liam by name as they entered immediately engaged him in a discussion of the baseball playoffs. Listening to the two debate a controversial ruling at second base, Ellie wandered to the rear of the store and a well-stocked deli.
“Morning.” A woman with short dark hair and a Red Sox baseball cap stood behind the deli counter. She hitched her chin toward the front of the store. “You a friend of Liam’s?”
“Something like that.” Friends who just happen to be having a baby. Being friends with Liam was easy; resisting his crooked smile and quick wit was a different matter. Sleeping with him again would only complicate things. But it sure would be fun.
“What can I get you?” the clerk prompted, tightening the ties on her bibbed apron.
“Hmm...” Ellie’s gaze traveled up and down the display case. She never knew what her stomach was going to accept. One minute she craved something, the next it made her gag. Her appetite was as mercurial as her moods.
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