Naya closed her eyes as memories from last night swept through her mind. Her body heated, that spot between her legs swelled and throbbed and…no, she hadn’t ever dated a man that she’d wanted to have sex with like…until last night.
She shivered and turned off the water. This wasn’t good, she told herself. But last night hadn’t been wrong. She’d had a wonderful night with an incredibly sexy man. She’d experienced bliss and…” Naya closed her eyes, trying to banish all of those memories. Last night had been an aberration. She’d simply move past it and learn from her mistake.
No more tall, dark and dangerous men! They weren’t worth it, in the end. She shook her head and grabbed a fluffy towel, wrapping it around herself as if it could somehow ward off the shame she was feeling.
There was nothing to be ashamed of, she told herself firmly. She’d had sex! What was the problem? Women had sex with men all the time. Every day, women had sex with men. It was a normal, bodily function.
Naya believed that until she stepped out of the bathroom and padded barefoot to her closet. Unfortunately, her mind was still thinking about last night, the way he’d touched her, the things he’d done to her…the things she’d done to him!
“I’m fine!” she whispered to the empty apartment. “Perfectly fine! Last night was a good thing! I stepped out of my comfort zone and had a wonderful time!”
But it wasn’t! Bowing her head, she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror. She was ashamed. She’d always told herself that she would be better than her mother who had gotten pregnant, only to abandon her child to the whims of the universe.
That was one of the main reasons she’d never had random sexual encounters, never wanted to risk having sex unless she was emotionally involved. The risk of getting pregnant was too great. Yes, Naya was fully aware of the various contraceptive methods to protect against an unplanned pregnancy. But first of all, her bouts of sexual activity were few and far between…and disappointing. Well, except for last night, she corrected with a sigh. Yes, last night had been…amazing. Mind-blowing. Shockingly satisfying!
And never to be repeated, she mentally told herself with a very firm voice inside of her head.
Pregnancy was just something she wasn’t willing to risk. Not for anything! Not until she was in a committed, loving relationship. Unfortunately, they weren’t one hundred percent effective at preventing pregnancy. All her life, she’d told herself that only abstinence could prevent pregnancy.
At least there had been condom use last night. She’d at least been assured of that. Relaxing, she pushed last night from her mind. Last night had been…an aberration. A moment in her life that she could…smile about and move on. She didn’t do one-night stands and, although her night with Pierce had been…magical…Naya would never repeat it again!
She had to get to work. Glancing at her watch, she picked up the pace. She had a meeting first thing this morning and she had to be in top form.
Chapter 3
Naya shut down her computer and sighed with relief. “It’s over!”
“You okay?” Bonnie asked, stepping into Naya’s cubicle and slumping down into the chair. “Good grief, there is a lot of tension in the office today! Any idea what is going on?”
Naya agreed, but had no answers. Shaking her head, she said, “I’m clueless. But Mark was in rare form today, wasn’t he?”
Bonnie groaned, leaning her head back as she closed her eyes. The morning had been difficult with their boss snapping at everyone during the morning’s meeting, demanding new marketing ideas, their offices cleaned up so that no stray papers were unfiled and he’d even snapped at a few people to go home and put on some “professional” clothing. “Something is bothering him, which means that he’s on a mission to make our lives miserable.” She lifted her hands to her head and let out a soft groan of misery. “I just want to go home and sink into a hot bath with a glass of wine next to me.” She pulled her head back up and looked at Naya who had the same exhausted expression. “What are your plans for the night?”
Naya contemplated her options. She really needed to talk with someone about Mark’s criticism of her today, but Bonnie wasn’t an option for that venting conversation. She was a decent friend in the office, but she was also the departmental gossip monger. Bonnie was the type of person with whom Naya went to lunch. Bonnie wasn’t the type of person one discussed private, personal or painful problems with.
And despite Naya’s constant mental reassurance that the previous night with Pierce was just a fluke, an aberration in her world and she’d never have another one night stand again, she still couldn’t shake a nagging sensation of impending doom. Although, nor could she eliminate the desire to talk with Pierce about today’s events. She remembered talking with him last night over dinner, laughing with him and, although there had been a constant hum of sexual awareness, she’d felt…oddly relaxed during the meal.
Unfortunately, talking with the handsome stranger from last night was definitely not an option! Even if she wanted to see him again, she didn’t have his phone number. Naya supposed she could call the hotel and ask for his room number, but…well, she hadn’t even noticed the body guards last night when they’d gone up to his hotel suite. So she definitely hadn’t taken the time to look at the room number. And this morning…she’d been too embarrassed and…frazzled…to look for a room number. Good grief, Naya wasn’t even sure if she knew the floor! So no, calling up a…hookup? Was that what last night was?
Ugh! She hated to define last night in those terms, Naya thought, tapping her pen against her desk. No, last night had been…something else. Something that wouldn’t be called a “hookup”. No way. It had been too…special.
Yes, Naya knew that calling a one-night stand “special” was ridiculous. But it had been amazing.
“Hello! Anyone home?” Bonnie teased.
Naya blinked, looking back at the woman. “Sorry,” she sighed.
“What are your plans for the night? And please don’t tell me that you’re going home to do housework,” Bonnie laughed as if she’d said something hilarious.
Naya shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Cleaning was Naya’s way of soothing her frazzled nerves. When life became too chaotic, she cleaned. Cleaning restored order to her world, allowed her time to think.
“I think I’m going to visit my mother, see if she’s doing okay,” she replied. Even as she said the words, a nauseous sensation swelled up in the pit of her stomach. She felt the same way every time she decided to visit her mother. One would think she’d be used to it by now, but Naya wouldn’t ever get used to the anxiety of visiting her mother.
“That’s a good idea. Mothers are the best, right? It doesn’t matter what’s going on in my life, I know that I can always call up my mom and talk to her. After our conversations, my world is right once again,” Bonnie said with a laugh, then sighed as she leaned forward slightly. “But that’s not on my agenda for tonight. Wine. Warm bath,” she announced and pushed out of Naya’s extra chair. “See ya tomorrow!” and she walked out with a friendly wave of her hand.
After Bonnie’s departure, Naya turned and looked at her cell phone. “I’ll just give her a call first,” she whispered to herself and dialed the number as she tossed her purse over her shoulder, walking out of the marketing department area. It was oddly deserted at this time of the night. Normally, the marketing department was humming with activity, even into the evenings. The people who worked here were creative and vibrant. But after today’s verbal beatings from their boss, everyone probably needed to get away and find some time to recoup.
Unfortunately, her mother wasn’t answering her phone. After five rings, Naya hung up. No answer.
The lack of a response caused the nausea in her stomach intensified. Standing beside her car, she debated going home and sinking into a warm bath or just getting over the inevitable by heading to her mother’s apartment.
Naya hated ignoring problems. It was always better to face them head on, so ins
tead of pretending that her mother’s natural tendencies hadn’t kicked into gear again, Naya pressed her lips together and walked out of the building. Five minutes later, she got into her car and nervously drove out of the city. Fifteen minutes later, she stood in front of her mother’s apartment door, knocking. No answer. Naya looked around, wondering if she might be visiting with one of her neighbors. Her mother was a very social person so a visit was entirely possible.
“Please please, don’t let her have gone on another ‘trip’,” she whispered. Another round of knocking didn’t produce her mother’s smiling face in the doorway. Turning, she looked out at the parking lot. The apartment complex wasn’t in the best neighborhood, but it was something her mother could afford. It wasn’t a horrible place though. And the last time Naya had visited, her mother had seemed to be happy. A bit too thin, but happy and excited.
“Naya!” a voice called out.
Naya turned and a surge of relief washed over her as she watched her mother’s ancient car putter into the parking lot with her mother calling from the open window. “I’m here, honey!” she called out, ignoring social norms against yelling in public places.
Instantly, the nausea in her stomach eased as she watched her mother park in one of the available parking spaces and get out of her car. “I just went to the grocery store, honey. I’m here,” and she reached into the back seat and pulled out two fabric bags of groceries. “I’m here!” she said again.
Naya smiled, trying to hide her relief, and waved to her mother, even starting to come down the stairs to help with the groceries. “Need help?” she called out.
Naya got to the bottom step, relief making her almost giddy and light headed.
“I’m here, honey,” Jessica Banks said and wrapped her arms around Naya’s shoulders, giving her a gentle hug. “I haven’t left, Naya,” she said as she kissed Naya’s cheek. “I promised that I’d tell you before I left and I will.”
Naya smiled, ignoring her mother’s reassurance. Naya had heard these words in the past but, when Jessica needed to go, she just left, unconcerned with the pain her departure might cause those left behind.
“What do you have in the bags?” she asked when her mother pulled back and yanked open the back door of her car. The hinges squeaked with protest and Naya mentally thought about her bank balance, wondering if she could afford to buy her mother a new car.
That’s when she spotted the colorful bags perched in the back seat. “And where did you get these bags?” she asked, lifting the first one and looking at it carefully. “They’re gorgeous!” Which wasn’t a lie. The bags were made of two pieces of cotton fabric with an outside pattern and an inside pattern. The two patterns didn’t match in any way, but they looked good together. Even the straps coordinated with the fabric bags and they looked sturdy enough to carry a load of heavy rocks!
“I made them!” Jessica laughed, lifting the bags up with her hands extended. “At my AA meeting last week, this woman talked about how she was struggling to keep from drinking again so she decided to choose a hobby.” They walked towards her mother’s apartment as she explained. “Well, the woman decided to crochet hats. She found an instructional video online and…well,” Jessica smiled at Naya, her eyes bright with excitement, “she discovered that she really liked it! She found that she could make one hat a night when she got off from work, doing it while she watched television.”
“That’s awesome, mom,” Naya replied, stepping into her mother’s apartment and looking around. All of the furniture was still here. With this observation, another bit of her tension left her body. In fact, there was a “new” chair sitting in the bedraggled den area. Her mother worked at the soda bottling factory down the street and earned only ten dollars an hour. So she didn’t have a lot of money left over to buy furniture. Naya had offered to buy her mother some nicer pieces, but Jessica had refused, telling Naya that she needed to do this on her own.
Jessica found pieces of furniture either at the Goodwill store downtown, or when she was really lucky, grabbed abandoned furniture on street corners. It wasn’t what Naya would prefer, but her mother seemed ecstatically happy with every piece she found. And in reality, the pieces Jessica had acquired really weren’t all that bad. Some of the corners of the fabric were worn thin, but they were all comfortable. What’s better, the pieces her mother acquired seemed to make her happy and a happy mother was a woman who might stick around.
“Do you really like the bags?” Jessica asked, looking at Naya as if she needed reassurance. “I heard this woman at my meetings and she said that she’d sold her hats at that open air market downtown. She told all of us that she’d paid ten dollars for the yarn and she could make three or four hats. Then she turns around and sells each hat for ten dollars each. She only had to buy a table to put all of her hats on. She made over three hundred dollars that day.”
Naya grinned. “That’s amazing, Mom.”
Jessica took milk and bread out of her fabric bag, nodding as she put everything into the fridge. Including the crackers, even though they didn’t need to be refrigerated. But Jessica wasn’t really a detail person, so Naya didn’t mention the crackers and fridge issue.
“I thought about the woman’s idea for a while and didn’t really like the idea of learning to crochet. But then I remembered my mom teaching me how to sew when I was a kid.” Jessica put the coffee into the fridge as well, so she didn’t see the pain flash across Naya’s features at that statement. “I found an old sewing machine at the pawn shop. It was only fifteen dollars but it still works. So I got some fabric and started making these bags! I figure I can make two or three each night and sell them at the outdoor market too!”
Jessica turned around and looked at Naya with a mixture of hope and fear. “What do you think, honey? Will it work? Do you think these bags will sell?”
Naya turned and looked at the stitching on the bags and the contrasting, but somehow cohesive colors, nodding her head. “Mom, these are really good! You’re a very good seamstress. How long does it take you to make each one?”
Jessica beamed at Naya’s reassurance, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. “Only about twenty minutes. The first few that I made were hard and I messed up, but now I have the measurements right.” She ran a wrinkled hand over the other bag. “Everyone’s into saving the environment these days. I figure these are all cotton and better even than the reusable bags one can buy at the grocery store. And I make my seams stronger than those cheap, reusable bags the stores sell. Plus, you can just toss these into the wash if they get dirty. Unlike those nasty things from the grocery store. They don’t wash in the washing machine right, do they?”
Naya laughed. “They are horrible in the wash. The last time I tried washing one, all the seams ripped apart. But yeah,” she said, nodding her head as she looked at the colorful bags. “These are really good!”
Jessica breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I’m going to make as many of them as I can and maybe see how well they sell at the market. If they work out, maybe I can make some other kinds of bags as well.”
Naya smiled and put a hand on her mother’s shoulder. “This is a really good idea, Mom. Not only are they well-made and colorful, but customers can buy the bags at your table, then put all of the stuff they buy from the other vendors into the bag. So you’re eliminating those horrible plastic bags everyone still uses.”
“Right!” she replied. “I’m saving the environment, making shopping more fun because my bags are brightly colored, plus, I’m making a bit of money for myself!”
Naya leaned in and hugged her mother. “I think it’s a great idea! And I can help you get the word out about your bags too.”
“You can?” she asked, her eyes wide. “But…how?”
Naya laughed. “Mom, I’m a marketing expert, remember? Getting the word out about new products is what I do.”
“Oh,” Jessica replied, looking stunned for a long moment. “You’d do that for me?”
Naya stopped pu
lling items out of another bag and looked at her mother. “Of course I’d do that for you, Mom.”
Jessica smiled, but her expression looked a bit confused. “Even after…well, what I did to you all those years ago?”
Naya turned away and looked into the bag, pulling out the box of cereal and putting it in the fridge, since apparently that was the only place her mother stored food. “Mom, that’s in the past.”
“Is it?”
Naya turned and looked at her mom. “It is. You’re here now.”
Jessica’s hands twisted nervously and she shifted from one foot to the other. “I’m getting help, honey,” she told her daughter. “I’m seeing a therapist.”
That was news! Naya stopped unloading the groceries and turned to stare at her mother. “You are? Who?”
She smiled. “My AA sponsor mentioned that the Women’s Clinic over on Milton Street has volunteers who provide sessions and patients pay a fee based on a sliding scale.” She shrugged a bit. “Since I don’t make a lot of money at the bottling factory, I pay nothing. And the woman who I talk to is really good. She’s helping to figure out my triggers.”
“What triggers?” Naya asked, curious despite herself. Naya had learned not to believe in her mother, not to count on her. Because Jessica’s need to “leave and explore the world” was stronger than her maternal instincts. Naya had learned that painful lesson very early in her life. And the foster care system hadn’t been a kind environment for a girl abandoned to their tender mercies.
“You know,” she shrugged. “The triggers that set me off. The stuff that get me to a place where,” she paused and took a deep breath. “When I feel like I can’t handle life. When my problems get to be too much and I just…take off.”
There was a tear in her mother’s eye as she explained that.
Naya’s heart pounded in her chest. She faced her mother now, abandoning the groceries because the need to understand was stronger than her need to preserve the food. “Is that what happens, Mom?”
Pregnant with the Tycoon's Heir Page 4