“I’m gonna pop over to Ida’s for a coffee. Do you want anything?”
“No, thank you,” she answered, keeping her eyes focused on where she was writing down some notes. “Oh!” She glanced up as I started to walk away. “Before I forget. You have a visitor. A very charming and handsome one who insisted on waiting for you in your office.” The corners of her lips curved upward, and her eyebrows wagged.
I laughed. No matter how many times she asked and I denied it, we both knew Tina was aware of the time I spent with Wes. It was now an ongoing joke between us. I still had no idea what we were, but after things being great between us over the last month, I wasn’t pushing to label it anymore.
I was happy. And for now, that was all that mattered. I opened my door, ready to greet Wes with a big, wet kiss, only to stop short in the opening.
“Noah,” I gasped, covering my rolling stomach with my hand.
“Hey, baby.” He stood from where he’d been leaning against my desk and strode toward me with a cocky smile. I flinched as his hands wrapped around my arms, pulling me to him. I turned my head, forcing his lips to meet my cheek. “I missed you.”
I shrugged out of his hold, taking a step back. “What are you doing here?”
“I told you. I missed you. And we need to talk about everything.”
“There’s nothing I want to talk to you about,” I scowled. “I figured I’d made that clear when I refused to accept your calls.”
“You just needed time to cool off, Dev. I get it. But it’s been months now. I thought we could talk and work things out.”
“You need to leave, Noah.”
“Come on, baby. Don’t be like that. I came all this way to see you and I’m not leaving until we’ve talked.”
“Fine. Say what you need to say and then leave.”
He smiled, taking a step forward. I immediately regretted my decision. Once again, I felt weak in his presence. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because he’d always made me feel inferior, or less than worthy.
“I’m gonna make this right, baby. I made a mistake. She was a mistake. When I realized how much I loved you, I freaked out and tried to deny my feelings by sleeping with her. But I’m not scared anymore. I know we belong together and that’s why”—he lowered to one knee, taking a ring from his pocket and grabbing my left hand before I knew what was happening—“I want you to marry me, Devin. Forgive me. Make an honest man out of me.”
My jaw slacked open as I stared down at the ring he was trying to slide onto my finger. I pressed my free hand to my forehead, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. There was no way this was happening right now. How could this be happening right now? For years, all I ever wanted was for this man to propose. Now that it was happening, I felt sick.
Before I could say or do anything to stop him, there was a small commotion at my door. I turned to see Wes seething in the opening, a box of cinnamon rolls and a coffee cup spilling over at his feet.
It all happened so fast, my brain barely registered what was going on. My eyes widened as I watched him look between Noah and me, our hands still connected.
“Wes!” I cried out as he spun to leave.
I tugged my hand from Noah’s and ran after him. He was already at his truck when I finally caught him. Pulling at his arm, I grappled to stop him. “Wes, please! Just wait. Let me explain.”
He twisted out of my grasp, stepping away from me. “Explain what, Devin? That you’re suddenly engaged?”
“It’s not what you think. Things are complicated. We have history.” Damn it! I instantly regretted how that sounded. But the words were out. I reached for him again, hoping somehow my touch would calm us both. “That’s not what I mean.”
He flinched away, ignoring my attempt at taking it all back. “And what about us? Whatever he’s promising you, it’s not gonna be permanent. He’s not gonna change, Devin.”
His words stung, and it had nothing to do with Noah.
“And you are?” I challenged, pissed that he had the nerve to point fingers when he wasn’t even willing to say we were in a relationship.
“No.” He shook his head, his face stern. Every part of him went rigid with his dark eyes. “The fact that I’ve fallen in love with you and wish by some stroke of luck you’d be mine, will never change. I’m not saying that I’m perfect. God and everyone knows, I’m not. But I was willing to give us a shot.” He yanked his truck door open and climbed inside.
“Wes! Wait! You can’t just say something like that to me and then leave.”
“Watch me,” he barked, slamming his door shut.
Standing shell-shocked, I watched him fire up his truck and peel off. I wiped the tears that had slid down my cheek and spun back around, ignoring all the stares aimed my direction from the townsfolk passing by on the sidewalk.
I jerked the door to the clinic open, stomping through. Tina was on her feet with worry and remorse all over her face.
I held up my hand as she began to speak, all my attention focused on the man now coming out of my office. “Get out!” I pointed at the front door.
“Dev—”
“No! I said get out, Noah!” I ripped the ring from my finger, chucking it at him. He fumbled a little before catching it.
“You don’t mean that,” he pleaded.
“I do. And don’t ever come back. Stop calling me. Just leave me the hell alone!”
“We belong together, baby.” He moved toward me and my uncle came out of nowhere, slipping between us.
“You heard her, boy. Get the hell out of my office before I make you.”
Noah clenched his fists at his sides as he glared at my uncle and then me. I stood taller, my chin in the air, feeling stronger than ever, despite the tears streaming down my red cheeks.
“Fine.” He shoved past my uncle, stopping at my side. “Your loss, sweetheart. You don’t deserve this.”
“You’re right. I deserve better.”
The cocky attitude he wore like a badge of honor fell. With one final glance, he disappeared out the front door.
Uncle Robert pulled me to his chest and I lost it. There was no stopping the tears and regret now. Tina ran around the counter, wrapping her arms around me from behind, sandwiching me between them.
“I’m so sorry, Devin. I had no idea that was Noah. He just said he was an old friend from Austin. I would have kicked him out had I known.”
I slid away from them both, turning to look at Tina as I wiped the tears. “It’s fine, Tina. It’s not your fault.”
We gave each other another hug.
“I need you to reschedule my appointments for the rest of the day.”
“Of course, not a problem.” She nodded.
“You can fill any openings I have for the day,” Uncle Robert directed. He squeezed my shoulder as he looked over at me with a gleam in his eye. “Go get’em.”
I nodded, hugged my uncle, and after grabbing my things, charged out the front door on a mission.
* * *
The wheels of my car slid on the gravel as I slammed on the brakes next to Wes’ parked truck. I was out of my car and scanning the area as fast as I could, finding no sign of him.
My eyes landed on Billy walking out of the barn, wiping his hands on an old rag.
“Billy!”
He looked up, his face twisting in confusion as he took me in, racing toward him. “Doc. What are you doing here? What’s going on?”
“Wes,” I breathed, trying to suck in as much oxygen as I could. “Where is he?”
He shook his head. “Not sure. Haven’t seen him.” He looked past me at Wes’ truck, then met my gaze again. “He may be out on the tractor.”
“Can you take me to him?”
“Sure. Everything okay?”
I shook my head. “I just need to talk to him.”
“Okay. Jump in.” He waved a hand toward his own truck.
I ran to the passenger door, hurriedly sliding into the seat. I was thankful Billy didn’t waste
any time doing the same.
The ride was silent. My mind was going a hundred miles per hour as I tried to come up with what I was going to say to Wes when I saw him.
Billy pulled to the side of the dirt road, shifting into park then leaning against the steering wheel as he pointed out the window toward a tractor. “That’s him. Stay here. I’ll get his attention.” He opened his door.
I nodded, even though the last thing I wanted to do was sit tight with anxious energy coursing through me. But I figured having Billy signal him over was better than me. If I did, there was a good chance he’d just keep on going.
Billy waded through the field, pulling off his cap and waving it in the air to flag Wes down. The tractor stopped in the distance. The roar of the engine died. Wes climbed down from the tractor, walking toward Billy, and my heart about stopped at the sight of him.
Flinging the door open, I jumped down from the seat. I slammed it shut just as both of their heads whipped around to look at me.
All the nerves I’d felt earlier doubled when I saw the pissed-off look on his face. He wasn’t happy to see me. They exchanged a few words. Then Billy slapped his shoulder, leaving Wes standing in the field as he strolled back to me.
“Good luck, Doc,” he said as he neared. “You want me to wait?”
I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. “Probably a good idea.” I was no longer confident things were going to turn out as well as I’d hoped.
Billy nodded, then got back in his truck, leaving me and Wes in a faceoff. Inhaling a deep breath, I took the first step to him. His hands were on his hips, his cap on backward, making it impossible for me to miss the anger in his eyes as I approached.
“Hey,” I choked out the word.
“What are you doing here, Devin?” His chest lifted as he crossed his arms over it with a stone-faced expression.
“I need to explain what happened back there. And we need to talk about what you said to me.”
“I’ve said all I need to say.”
“Okay. Fine. Then I’ll do all the talking.” I huffed, pushing some wind-blown strands of hair from my face. “What you saw was a misunderstanding. I’m not getting married. At least, not any time soon and not to Noah. Ever. I was seconds away from telling him just that when you walked in. He’s my ex. The one who hurt me. We’d been together for four years when I walked in on him screwing one of his co-workers.
“Things were over between us as soon as I saw them. They were probably over long before that. I was just having trouble admitting that to myself. He’d always had this weird power over me that made me feel weak. But not anymore. I’m stronger. I know what I’m worth and it’s taken me a long time to realize I deserve more. And I’m not going to take less than I deserve any longer. Not even from you.”
He looked away from me, his jaw ticking.
“These last few months together have been some of the best of my life. And I want to see where things go with us, Wes. But if you’re gonna take the first chance you get to cut and run, then I’m not gonna hold you down. If space is what you need, if a casual fuck is what you want, then fine. But it won’t be with me. I can’t keep pretending I don’t want more with you, because despite my best efforts, I’ve fallen too.”
I waited for him to meet my eyes. Waited for him to say something. Anything. When he didn’t, I felt the crack in my heart. Protecting what was left of it, and hanging on to my pride, I turned and walked away without another word. I wasn’t going to beg and plead with him. He knew where I stood. It was his decision now.
* * *
“Who wants eggnog?” my mother asked, a jubilant smile on her face as she walked in with a bottle of whiskey in her hand.
“Oh! Me!” Jenna raised her hand, plopping down on the couch beside me in her Christmas onesie. Everyone in my family was wearing an identical one, and we all looked equally ridiculous.
“Devin?” My mom directed her eyes to me. I hadn’t been paying attention to them. I’d been in a daze for what felt like months now.
With their stares both on me, I sighed. “Sure. Why not,” I added, dryly. “Minus the eggnog.”
Mom narrowed her eyes in disapproval before leaving the room again to make our drinks.
Jenna bumped my shoulder. “Can you at least pretend to be in a good mood? Your mom is worried about you. We all are.”
“I’ll try.”
She plucked a hand from my lap, tugging me to my feet.
“Where are we going?”
“To talk,” she declared over her shoulder as she dragged me up the stairs and into her childhood bedroom.
She pushed me toward her twin bed to sit, then flung open her closet doors. Lifting to her toes, she dug through the boxes on the top shelf. Finally finding what she was looking for, she pulled down an old tattered shoe box and faced me.
I arched an eyebrow.
She grinned, flipping the lid off the top and pulling out a half-full bottle of cheap tequila.
“Do I want to know how old that is?”
“Does it matter?” She walked to the bed with the bottle, dropping the box on the floor.
“Nope. Hand it over.” I reached out my hand.
She passed it to me. I twisted off the cap and took a drink. I coughed as I pulled it away. “That shit is terrible.”
The bed dipped as she crawled onto it beside me. “You want me to throw it out?”
“No.” I shook my head, passing it to her as we both settled back against her headboard with our legs outstretched in front of us.
“So, what happened?” she asked after a few silent shots between us, all of them tasting just as terrible as the first.
“Noah happened.”
She let out an aggravated sigh. “I know that part. Dad filled me in. I want to know what happened when you took off after Wes.”
“Nothing.”
“Dee,” she whined.
“Really. Nothing. I found him on his farm. Laid everything out there for him and he said nothing.”
It’d been weeks since that day and I hadn’t seen or heard from Wes, which only meant he was taking special care to avoid me in our small town. Every time my phone rang, someone knocked on my door, or came into the office unexpectedly, I hoped it would be him. But every time I was left with nothing but disappointment.
She slid an arm around my shoulders. We leaned into each other, the sides of our heads pressing together. “I’m sorry.”
“You can say you told me so.”
“I’d never do that… Besides, from what I heard, I was wrong. You got to him, Dee.”
“Don’t tell me that. You’ll just give me hope. And I can’t handle it. I need to move on.”
She hugged me tighter to her side as I fought back the welling tears.
“It’s all gonna work out however it’s supposed to. You’ll see.”
I nodded. There was a light knock on the jamb as Jenna’s husband, Brad, popped his head in.
“Sorry to interrupt girl-talk, but just letting you know I’m gonna run to the store. Apparently, we are out of flour and the kids are demanding homemade sugar cookies for Santa.”
We both lifted our heads, pulling apart. “I can go, if you want,” I offered. I was dying to get out of the house. I loved my family, but I could use some alone time.
“Actually, I was already planning a trip. I need a few things from the store,” Jenna said, jumping forward. She squeezed my hand and slid off the bed. She whispered something in Brad’s ear. He smiled and then gave her a kiss before she disappeared.
“What was that about?” I asked Brad.
He pulled his fingers across his mouth, silently zipping his lips. I tossed a pillow at him and he ducked with a laugh. “You know Jenna. What do you think that was about?”
My face paled as it dawned on me. “Tell me she’s not going where I think she is.”
He shrugged with a smile, crossing his arms. I jumped from the bed, ready to charge after her. He blocked the doorway, barricading me in
the room with his body.
“Brad, this isn’t funny.”
“Didn’t say it was. But I’m also not breaking a promise to my wife.”
I pinned my hands on my hips, trying my best to intimidate him. It didn’t work. “You two suck,” I pouted.
“You’ll get over it.”
20
WES
I opened my front door with a scowl on my face. I was in no mood for company. Even though it was Christmas Eve, I was avoiding my family, preferring to be alone and away from their nagging and disappointed stares.
“What are you doing here?”
Roger glanced at the nearly empty whiskey bottle in my hand. “Your dad called. Said there was a belligerent drunk hanging out on his property.”
I scoffed and turned, leaving the door wide open as I walked away. He closed it behind him, following me into the kitchen and taking a seat at the bar.
I abandoned the bottle on the counter. It wasn’t doing its job anyway of ridding the memories of Devin from my mind. I opened my fridge, grabbed two beers, and passed him one. The crack of the aluminum cans echoed off the walls of the silent room.
He took a drink, then sighed with appreciation before setting the can on the counter. “So, you and the Doc broke up,” he announced after a few moments.
“You can’t break up if you were never together.”
“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes like a teenage girl. “Keep telling yourself that. Seems to be doing a lot of good.”
“You come here to lecture me?” I griped, leaning my back against the counter, taking a big swallow of the weak beer.
“Nope. We both know that shit doesn’t work when it comes to you. Besides, figure you already got a line of people waiting to do just that.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I needed a free beer.”
“You get those at Dudley’s all the time.”
“It’s Christmas Eve. Timmy closed early for once.” He pressed the can to his mouth, taking another sip.
I gave him the side-eye.
Taming Wes: BOOK THREE|BILLINGSLEY SERIES Page 17