by Eliza Knight
When she thought their kiss could not grow any more intense, he licked her.
Well, not a lick exactly. More like a swipe of his tongue. A flick over her lips that had her gasping. He did it again, running the hot, velvet heat of his tongue over her lower lip and then the top, curling inside her mouth before darting away. It was fascinating and intoxicating, and it sent shivers racing all over her body.
She tugged harder against his shirt, pressing her body against his, and then he was dipping his tongue inside, touching the tip to hers, and she was emboldened to do the same thing.
A hot flash of desire sparked as the tip of her tongue tentatively touched his. Shivers ran rampant over her flesh. How was it possible that kissing him could get better and better?
Her heart was pounding, her body trembling, and heat licked at places she didn’t even know could feel…let alone feel so good.
A throb started between her thighs, and she arched her back, wanting to be closer to him, wanting him to touch her.
At the same time, she was very aware of where they were and the other men not too far away. Toran’s hand slid from her face, his fingertips brushing over her neck to her collarbone, his palm flattening just above her breasts. She clamped her mouth closed to stifle both her gasp and her enthusiastic surrender.
Toran stilled, feeling her body stiffen. He was pulling away then, and she wished she could pull him back, wished she could tell him to continue kissing her. But the truth was she should have been the one to pull back, to put a stop to the madness.
“Was that your first kiss?” he murmured.
She blinked her eyes open, staring into the blue depths of his soulful eyes. Suddenly self-conscious, Jenny asked, “Was I terrible?”
In the hazy light, she could see him grin. “Nay, ye’re a fast learner. A guess, really.”
She didn’t believe him. “I’ve had plenty of opportunities to kiss, I’ll have ye know.”
“I dinna doubt it.” One eyelid slowly drifted closed in a lazy wink. “Ye’re a discerning woman, and I am honored to have been chosen as your first.”
Jenny frowned, wishing she hadn’t run away every time Hamish’s best mate had attempted to kiss her in their youth. Or Annie’s brother, for that matter. With practice she could have knocked Toran clear out of his boots.
“Dinna flatter yourself, soldier. I merely decided it was time to put the task of kissing behind me.”
“Ah, I see. And as your loyal vassal, I aim to serve and please ye, Mistress J. By any means necessary.”
He stroked over her collarbone again, and she resisted the urge to shiver, having forgotten that his hand was still pressed so close to her breasts. She swatted him away with a huff, turning to face away from him.
Despite her attempts at irritation, her blood still sang with pleasure, and Toran chuckled.
“So much bluster.” His whisper fanned over her ear, and he gently bit the shell of it, sending another volley of pleasure racing through her body. “One day, Jenny, when the world is no’ tearing itself apart, I hope you can revel in the pleasure of kissing.”
She turned sharply to face him then. “What makes ye think I wasna reveling?”
“Ye’re upset about it.”
“I am no’.” And it galled her that the man could read her so easily.
“Nay?”
“Nay, no’ at all,” she insisted. Lied.
“All right. Ye know your own thoughts much better than I would.”
“That is a fact, sir.” She’d not been particularly subtle, huffing and turning, but it was more frustration than anything else.
“I wish ye a good night, Mistress J.”
“Ye need no’ call me that when we are alone.”
“Do ye foresee us being alone more often?”
She rolled her eyes, but it was with a smile. He was lightening the mood, making her feel less unnerved. The man had a knack for it, she’d hand it to him. She’d nearly forgotten where they were and why.
“I’ll take the first watch,” he said. “Ye sleep.”
She wanted to argue, but there was no denying her exhaustion. “Good night, Toran.”
“Sweet dreams, Jenny.”
She curled up on her side, away from him, afraid that if she were to face him she’d watch him all night. And she’d thought he might move away from her, but he didn’t. And as it turned out, facing away from him was a worse kind of torture than if she’d actually been facing him, for she couldn’t see when she wanted to, and her mind continued to conjure up all sorts of thoughts. How did he look when he was concentrating on the wind? Would his eyes get droopy?
Was he…watching her?
Thirteen
They arrived back to Cnàmhan Broch in the dead of night, a full twenty-four hours after they’d left. The castle was in an uproar over Jenny’s disappearance. First and foremost among the frantic was Lady Mackintosh.
She came running out to the courtyard from within the castle, wrapping Jenny up in her arms, Dom loping slowly behind her. Camdyn and Isla too were tossing themselves into their brother’s arms, and Toran’s low voice rumbled soothing words that Jenny couldn’t make out.
Her mother pressed her hands to Jenny’s face and searched her all over as if checking for injuries.
“I’m fine, Mama.”
“Where have ye been?” Her eyes were filled with worry, and as her gaze traveled the length of Jenny’s clothes, taking in her appearance, she grew paler. “I had wondered,” she started but stopped. “Come inside.”
Had wondered what? Jenny hadn’t made much of a secret about changing her clothes and training with the men, which was something she’d done even as a child, but she had tried not to do it so much in front of her mother. Had her mother figured out Jenny’s role in the rebellion? Jenny looked back at the men who’d come home with her, giving them a solid nod. They knew what to do and would inform the rest of the men of what they’d discussed at the inn.
They’d make certain those who lived near the croft were protected.
Right now, she had to deal with her mother, and it seemed like the scariest thing she’d ever had to do. Would her mother take to her bed again? Would she forbid Jenny from her duties? Worst of all, would she believe that Jenny had joined Hamish in his betrayal?
Her mother’s small, cold hand trembled in hers as they raced up the winding stairs to Lady Mackintosh’s solar.
Behind the safety of the walls, her mother pulled her to the small nook in the window and sat her down on the bench across from her own, their knees brushing, their hands still clasped.
Her mother’s expression was stern. “I am glad ye’ve returned unharmed, but please, my daughter, tell me ye were not doing something for Hamish? Tell me ye’ve no’ switched sides?” Tears sprang to her mother’s eyes.
Jenny’s heart thundered, and she felt sick to think that her mother could believe that.
“Nay, Mama, I have no’. I do Hamish’s bidding only to the brink of which no’ heeding him would bring danger to our clan. But I was no’ missing last night in service to him, Cumberland, or any other of King George’s men.”
“Then who? Have ye been…compromised?” She scanned Jenny’s body as though there would be clues.
Jenny thought of the kiss she’d shared with Toran, how she’d wished it had kept going, at which point she would be very much compromised.
“I am not compromised, Mama, I promise. I was doing my duty for Prince Charles. I am sorry I didna tell ye sooner, but I didna want ye to worry.”
Lady Mackintosh’s brow wrinkled. “Your duty?”
“Aye.” Jenny bit her lip, chewing on it nervously. How much should she tell her mother, and how much should she keep to herself? At this point, it seemed best to tell her mother all. “I have been gathering men, weapons, coin, supplies, anything that might aid the prince i
n the rebellion. He is coming soon, Mama. Hopefully all that I am doing will help him regain his throne. I—” She swallowed hard. “I know Da would have wanted this, and I have been aiming to carry on his legacy.”
Her mother sat back, letting go of Jenny’s hand to swipe at her tears, and then placed her hands over her heart. “Ye always were your father’s daughter. But I’d be lying if I said it didna terrify me. I dinna like it.”
Jenny smiled sadly. “He made a rebel out of me, Mama.”
“He did. He’d be so proud of ye.” Her mother leaned forward and gathered Jenny in her arms, holding her tight. “I’m proud of ye. And terrified too.”
“I’ll be safe, I promise.” Emotion whirled inside Jenny, along with relief that her mother accepted her, supported her. She’d feared so much that her mother would reject her way of life, would demand Jenny cease her efforts or, worse, put a stop to them herself.
“But what of Hamish?” Lady Mackintosh held her daughter at arm’s length, watching Jenny with fearful eyes.
“He knows nothing, and I think ’tis best we keep it that way.”
“Oh, aye. Who else knows besides Dirk, Toran, and his cousin?”
This was going to be the hard part. “Most of the clan, Mama. They have been helping me. And until now we had safe quarters some distance from here, but we were compromised by dragoons and forced to flee.” She paused to collect herself. “About a sennight ago, I moved everything here to Cnàmhan Broch.”
“Oh.” Her mother said the word as an exhale, her eyes darting toward the window and a flicker of fear crossing her features.
“I know it is not ideal, Mama, and I’m sorry for no’ telling ye of the danger sooner. I will find another place if ye wish it, but I thought it best if the men and arms were hidden behind walls where they could be defended. That we would be safer hiding in plain sight rather than traipsing through the forest.” She squeezed her mother’s hand. “When I sent Hamish the latest shipment, I sent with it the last three men left of his that I knew we couldna trust.”
“Ye were right to do it. All of it. I used to help your da, did ye know? Everyone, and everything, is safer behind the walls. I am concerned over Hamish though. He’s bound to come home one of these days. What if he should find out?”
Jenny pressed her lips together. “I have been doing everything I can to keep him away. ’Tis one of the reasons I continue to do his bidding when he requests supplies.”
“I see. I canna tell ye what a relief it is for me to hear ye’ve no’ switched sides. I feared the worst.”
“Och, Mama, I could never back away from our heritage, from what Da and Grandda sacrificed, what all of our people have sacrificed. I have wanted to tell ye what I was doing for so verra long, and I am just so grateful to finally get a chance to share it with ye.”
“Oh, my darling lass.” Her mother pulled Jenny into her arms once more. “I dinna know what I would have done without ye. Ye’ve been my rock in everything. The loss of your da, your brother’s choice. Ye’re the reason I stepped outside my room. I saw ye, in the bailey below, ordering the men about. And I thought, that’s my daughter, so strong and taking care of so much. I need to help her. I want to help her.”
“Och, Mama. I dinna know what I would have done without ye either.”
“But I worry about ye. That ye’re spending so much time on matters of the country that ye’re no’ taking care of your own happiness.”
Toran’s words echoed in her ears. One day, Jenny, when the world is no’ tearing itself apart, I hope you can revel in the pleasure of kissing.
It was a bitter realization that she wanted that very same thing and an equally bitter kernel of truth to know that she would likely never get the chance.
The prince would be landing in Scotland on the fifth of July, and though the Highlands had been swarming with dragoons up to this point, things were about to get even more harrowing. The rebellion would gain momentum from here, and this time, they’d rid Scotland of the blasted dragoons for good.
There was danger in rebelling. Danger in fighting. Already she’d felt the harsh touch of a dragoon on her person from which she’d been able to escape, but that didn’t mean she’d get so lucky the next time. Boyd was looking for her, and she knew he wouldn’t stop until one of them was dead. Jenny didn’t plan on giving him the satisfaction of stealing her breath, which meant she had to finish him first. The best place to do that would be on the field of battle.
“Ye’ve grown still.” Lady Mackintosh’s tone was soothing. “What is it?”
How much should she divulge to her mother? She didn’t want to overly worry the woman, and telling her about Boyd was going to do just that. Then again, her mother already knew that they’d been on the run from someone. If Boyd came to the castle when Jenny wasn’t around, her mother needed to know the danger.
“There is an English officer, Captain Boyd. He… He is a dangerous man, Mama.”
“Did he hurt ye?”
Jenny shook her head quickly and met her mother’s gaze. What happened in the courtyard of the croft was a bit too much to share. “Not yet, but he wants to. He wants to hurt us all. But I fear the day is coming that he will be knocking on our door, and when it comes, I dinna want ye to answer.”
Her mother narrowed her eyes. “Ye canna think I would let ye willingly sacrifice yourself.”
Jenny pressed her lips firmly together. “Dirk and I have a plan for Captain Boyd, and in order to see it through, I beg ye not to get yourself involved.” This was not entirely a lie. They both wanted the man dead, but the plan… Well, that had yet to be solidified.
“What about Toran Fraser? Is he a part of the plan?”
“Aye, as is his cousin, Archie.” The lies came too quickly, too easily.
“Moire would have been so proud.”
Jenny flinched. “What?”
Lady Mackintosh let out a great sigh. “Toran, he is Moire’s son.”
Jenny blinked, her mouth going dry. If her mother had hit her in the head with a chair, she could not have been more stunned. She parted her lips to speak, but no sound came out, and she found her mouth opening and shutting again like a fish out of water. “You knew all along who he was?” Her words were raspy, as she forced air from her lungs and wrangled her lips to help form the words.
Her mother let out a long sigh. “Aye. Isla is the spitting image of her mother.”
Again, Jenny was floored. She should have recognized her too, and yet she’d been blind to it. She swallowed as her mind worked back to the very moment she’d met Toran. Had he known that she was acquainted with his mother? Did he purposefully keep that connection a secret? He must have… “Why did ye not say anything?”
Her mother shrugged. “If he’d not yet divulged the information… I wasna sure how much he knew of his mother’s involvement…or what happened to her.”
Jenny’s heart did a flip at the horrific memory. God, part of her hoped that Toran wasn’t fully aware of the brutality of his mother’s death. That was something one did not recover from. “I’m not sure how much he knows either.” Jenny squeezed her mother’s hands. “Promise me, Mama. If Boyd comes, ye’ll stay away from him. Ye’ll protect Isla. I canna lose ye, the way Moire was lost to us, and he shouldna have to bear another of his kin being executed by that bastard.”
Lady Mackintosh nodded, swiping at the tears falling freely. “Of course. But promise me ye’ll no’ make yourself a sacrifice? I still remember when…” Her voice grew choked, and Jenny knew well the memory that had to be plaguing her mother’s mind. Her mother’s dearest friend, Moire, had sacrificed herself for Lady Mackintosh’s safety, and the pain and brutality of that loss had never faded.
Knowing that Moire had been Toran’s mother changed so much… Every interaction Jenny and Toran had now held so much more meaning. And made her question his motives too—and wonder why
exactly he was here.
Jenny pulled her mother back in for a hug, unable to face her, because she knew the request her mother made was not one she could necessarily honor. “I will no’ be lost to ye, I promise.” And that was probably the worst lie of them all, for she could promise no such thing. But she could wish it, hope for it, pray for it, keep her mother believing.
“Your da would be so proud,” her mother whispered, patting Jenny’s hair. “Now, enough of these tears.” She drew in a ragged breath, swiped at her eyes one more time, and then stood, her back ramrod straight, her expression determined. “We’ve work to do.”
“We?”
“Aye. There’s easily twice as many socks left to knit as Isla and I did last week. We canna make less socks for Hamish’s lot than we did for our own men. There is also training. Ye may be training men, but I can spend an hour a day training the women who work in the keep to protect themselves.”
Jenny stood and grinned, excited to have her mother on her side. If only she had told her sooner, perhaps the past two years would not have been so steeped in misery. Alas, she could not go back in time, and to dwell on the past would put a damper on their bright future. “Isla will be so pleased to help ye. And I can gather the rest of the women for ye as well. See that the kitchens make ye all a hearty meal.”
“And welcome Toran in to dine with us this evening.” Lady Mackintosh winked at Jenny.
“Mama?” Jenny narrowed her eyes.
“I saw the way he was looking at ye in the courtyard. The lad is enamored.”
Jenny shook her head. “Mama, I’ve no time for flirtations. I’ve a country that needs mending and a prince I’ve devoted my life to.”
“Everyone has time for flirtation, love. Do ye nay recall the love between your grandda and grandma? The love I had for your father? Love is what keeps us on the right path when violence and horrors threaten to undo us.”
She had a good point there. The idea of having someone to lean on, some way to escape danger if only for a minute was more than appealing—it made her heart ache. But how could she possibly?