by Megan Green
“No!” I howl, springing to my feet and grabbing the phone again. “That’s not a fucking option, Ray. I won’t leave her. And I sure as shit won’t drag her through the mud to make myself look better.”
“What the fuck, Tag? Do you realize what’s at stake here? What’s the harm? People will forget about her as soon as you drop her. I don’t see the problem here.”
“The problem, Ray, is that I’m in love with her. So, no, I’m not going to fucking drop her, as you so eloquently put it. She’s not going anywhere. And neither am I.”
“You’re what? You’ve been there all of a month, and you think you’re in love with her?” The shock in his voice rolls through me, only deepening my anger.
“I don’t think anything. I fucking know it. So, tell me what we’re going to do to fix this.”
Ray lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I hope you realize what you’re doing. I knew how to fix this when I thought you’d use your damn brain instead of your dick and listen to me. But, obviously, that’s not going to happen. Let me think.”
I let the insult slide through because, as much as he’s pissing me off at the moment, I know Ray has my best interests at heart. He’s not only my agent; he’s also one of my best friends. And I know this hurts him almost as much as it does me. Not just his income, considering whatever sponsors he managed to reel back in are no doubt going to bail. But it hurts him on a personal level, too. He doesn’t like seeing his friends in pain.
“First things first,” I say before he can get too much into defense mode. “We need to find out how this even came out.”
“Already ahead of you there,” Ray tells me, some of his usual confidence coming back into his voice. “As soon as the news broke, I tracked down the little fucker and made him talk. It sure as hell wasn’t easy. I had to get pretty creative to get him to spill it.”
I don’t even want to know what sort of threats Ray made to get the asshole to speak. Not right now at least. Right now, all I’m concerned about is who and why.
“Name is Paul Sharp. He’s some small-time sports writer for a local paper. His stories have been gaining a little more traction lately though. After Angela dropped the charges, he wrote a series of articles that didn’t exactly paint you in a positive light.”
“I saw,” I say, my tone devoid of the anger that’s taken up residence in my chest. It shouldn’t surprise me that the dickwad whose articles I’d been reading the other day was the one to do this. “How did he find out?”
“Followed Jeffers when he came to visit you. Asshole had been watching Brandon’s every move, waiting for him to give some sort of hint as to where you were. When Brandon had unexpectedly jumped on a plane, Sharp said he knew there was only one place he could be going. To you. So, armed with only his camera and his cell phone, he’d bought a ticket and followed. Son of a bitch didn’t even have an overnight bag. Just jumped on the plane and left.”
I shake my head. “So, he followed B, found out where I’d been hiding, and then what? Thought it would be a good idea to try to ruin the life of an innocent woman?”
Ray is silent for a second, as if he’s thinking over his next words. When he finally speaks, I wish he had stayed quiet.
“She’s not exactly innocent, Tag. Even if what you say is true, she did drive under the influence and nearly killed a little girl.”
I bristle at the surety in his voice. Reminding myself he doesn’t know Lexi and has no idea what she’s put herself through, and that I’d probably have the same reaction if I were in his shoes, I explain her to him, “I’m not debating that, Ray. She fucked up. Big time. But nobody knows that more than Lexi. If you met her, knew exactly how much guilt has hindered every single moment of her life since then…you wouldn’t be saying the things you are. She’s guilty of making a stupid decision. But who among us can say we haven’t? Hell, I can name a handful of times when you got behind the wheel when you probably shouldn’t have. The only difference between you and her is, you were fortunate enough to make it home. One split second, and you could’ve been exactly where Lexi is right now.”
Ray doesn’t say anything, but if the change in his breathing is any indication, he’s definitely affected by my words. He knows damn well he’s driven under the influence. Maybe, now, he’ll think twice.
“So, yes, she’s guilty. But nobody can say she’s not sorry. Whoever the fuck said that in that article is a goddamn liar. I’ve seen her guilt firsthand. I’ve seen the half-life she’s been living since that night. And, when she was finally starting to make a little progress, this happens.”
The look on Lexi’s face when she told me about the article will haunt me for the rest of my life. It might have only been an hour ago, but I already know it’s a memory that will be forever etched into my brain.
And, when she told me about the remarks from her friends, the person who’d said she didn’t feel any remorse, her face crumpled in such a way that I instantly wanted to hurt the person who’d caused that pain. I wanted to track them down and make sure they felt every ounce of the pain they’d put her through.
I’m not a violent person by nature. But I’m finding that, when it comes to Lexi, I’ll do all sorts of things I’ve never imagined. Starting with cruel and unusual punishment.
Ray apologizes for his remarks, his words sounding sincere, even to my enraged ears. He tells me to keep my phone nearby, so he can get in contact with me whenever he needs me.
“We’re going to make this better, Tag. I promise. I just need some time to get it all sorted out. We’ll find a way to make this work. Stay by your phone, and get things squared away, so you can come home. I need you back here soon. Laying low after Angela dropped the charges was good. But I think, if you stay hidden after this, it’s only going to make things worse.”
“I’m not leaving Lexi. Not after all this.”
“Then, bring her with you. Let’s show them that the two of you are serious about each other, and despite her past mistakes, this girl is good for you. Show them she’s changed, and she’s changed you. For the better.”
I hesitate, certain Lexi isn’t going to like the idea. “I’m not sure I can convince her of that. She’s pretty shaken up.”
“Make her see reason. I’ll give you a few days. We’ll make a statement this evening, but by the end of the week, I need the two of you here, in Seattle. I’ll call you when I have more details.”
I promise him I’ll do my best and disconnect the call.
My spirits have lifted a little after talking to Ray, but I’m still pissed as hell. If Paul Sharp happens to cross my path anytime in the near future, he’d better hope I’m feeling particularly charitable that day. Because, right now, I want nothing more than to pummel his ass into the ground with my bare hands.
But, knowing Ray is on my side and that he’s confident we can get this to all blow over, it gives me hope that this might not be the catastrophe I originally thought. Maybe we can spin this in a positive light. I like the idea of letting people know Lexi is mine. That I’m hers. And that the two of us together is not a bad thing. It’s as good and pure as they come.
Now, if I can just convince Lexi to tag along.
I walk into the bathroom and splash some cool water on my face. Once I’m positive that the flushed anger is washed from my cheeks, I head over to Lexi’s.
After we talked, she asked for a few minutes alone to think while I called Ray. I didn’t like the idea, hated the thought of her being alone while she was so visibly shaken. But I needed to talk to Ray, and despite my hesitance, I agreed it might be good for her to clear her head.
I knock softly as I open the front door. “Lex? Where are you?” I call out as I step inside.
I’m met with silence.
I check the kitchen, but she’s not there. Returning to the living room, I climb the stairs to her room. Maybe she went to lie down. Crying can really take it out of you. And she certainly did her fair share of that this morning.
I step
into her bedroom, and my stomach drops. The drawers of her dresser are open, clothes strewed across the floor. It’s obvious she was in a hurry.
I don’t even have to check the closet to see if her suitcase is missing. I already know.
I rush down the stairs, sprinting across the snow as fast as humanly possible to Margie’s house. I bang on the door, and she answers, looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind.
“Is Lexi here?” I ask frantically before she can speak.
She gives me a puzzled look. “N-no. What—”
I don’t wait for her to finish. I can’t. Lexi couldn’t have gotten far yet. I was on the phone with Ray for only a half hour, tops. And she doesn’t have a car.
At the thought, I run back to my house. As I round the side, I can’t say I’m surprised by what I find.
An empty space where my truck should be.
Seems that, in her desperation to get away, Lexi was willing to overlook that whole no-license thing. I wonder how it felt for her to slip back behind the wheel. I wonder if she’s okay.
And then I realize, it doesn’t really matter at the moment.
Because she’s gone.
And I’m not okay.
Chapter 24
Lexi
My hands are trembling as I slide down from the driver’s seat of the truck.
The stolen truck.
The truck I had no business driving, given that I don’t have a license. Not to mention the fact that I was in no emotional state to be behind the wheel. In the five minutes it took to get to the bookstore, I almost ran off the road twice because of the tears blurring my vision.
Add to that the anxiety of being behind the wheel of a car for the first time since the accident, and it’s a miracle I made it here in one piece. Lucky for me, I hadn’t passed a single car coming in the opposite direction. That might’ve been too much for me to handle.
I know I won’t be so fortunate if I try to make the trek to Ella’s all on my own though. Thus the reason for the pit stop. Besides, I need to say good-bye anyway. And it’s not like I can keep Ian’s truck forever. Sooner or later, he’ll report it stolen, if only to try to track me down. This plan works better for everyone.
Now, I just need to convince Liv to drive me.
I walk into the bookstore, the small bells chiming on the door as it closes behind me.
Charlie steps out from the back, the smile on his face dropping as soon as he sees me. “Lexi? What’s the matter?”
He steps around the counter, coming to my side faster than I would’ve thought possible, considering his age. He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me over to the chair in the corner of the room. He guides me down until I’m seated and then shouts for Liv as he perches on the ottoman.
Liv appears, blowing her overgrown bangs from her face as she sets down a stack of books. When she sees my tearstained cheeks, she forgets the books, leaving them to topple over as she rushes across the room to my side.
“Liv, the books,” I point out, hating the sound of them clattering to the floor.
She shoots a brief glance over her shoulder before turning back to me with a wave of her hand. “They’ll be fine. You, on the other hand…what’s wrong, Lex?”
I take a deep breath, wanting to delay the inevitable. I’ve done my best to avoid talking about that awful night for the past nineteen months. Yet here I am, having to explain it all for the second time in as many days.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” I say.
Then, I launch into the story. I tell both of them the details about my business and how losing it sent me into a downward spiral. I tell them about the drinking and the constant state of denial I lived in for months before that fateful night. And then I tell them about Lily and her mother. I watch as their faces fill with shock when they hear what I did. And I’m reminded once again why I’ve avoided the subject entirely. It hurts too damn much to see those I care about disappointed in me.
Charlie recovers first, closing his hand over mine and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’ve had to live through all that. That’s a lot for someone as young as you.”
Liv snaps out of her thoughts, placing her hand on my shoulder and nodding. “I’m sorry, too, Lex. I can’t even imagine. I’m glad you told us though. It helps me understand you better. Some of your reactions and emotions make a lot more sense now.”
I sniffle, grateful that I have such wonderful people in my life. Even if I am completely undeserving of them.
They spend the next several minutes asking me questions, which I answer as best I can.
After they feel like they’ve gotten the whole story, Charlie gives me a puzzled look. “That doesn’t explain why you showed up here today, looking like you’d lost everything though. What haven’t you told us?”
My hands begin to tremble again as I think about leaving Ian. “You both know who Ian is.” It’s not a question.
Once he told me, he saw no sense in trying to hide it from the rest of the town. Charlie was quite excited to know we had a professional baseball player living right here in Maple Lake. He was a big fan of the Babe, he added after Ian told him who he was. And Liv…well, Liv had seemingly hit it off with Ian’s friend and teammate. There was no way she wasn’t aware of what he did for a living. Not with the way Brandon had talked about the Rampage.
Liv nods. “Of course we do. But what does that have to do with anything?”
“Someone found out.”
I see the confusion flash across both their faces, and I know I’m going to have to elaborate more. I was hoping that would be enough. That they’d understand. But then again, this is a small town. There might be a lot of gossip among the locals, but they don’t exactly pay attention to the tabloids. They wouldn’t understand what something like this could mean for Ian’s career.
“Someone found out we were together and went digging into my past. It’s all over the news. All over the internet. Pictures of me from back then, quotes from friends who said I didn’t even care that I hurt people. They’ve painted me to be this awful, self-centered party girl. And they’re dragging Ian down with me.”
A light clicks behind Liv’s eyes, though Charlie still seems confused as to why it matters.
“So, his career is in jeopardy because of what some dumbass wrote?” she asks.
I nod. It’s all I can do.
“And, now, you’re leaving,” she says, not even a hint of questioning in her tone.
I nod again.
“What did Ian have to say about all this?”
I shrug. “He’s not seeing things clearly. He’s confused and hurt but not thinking straight. This is what’s best for him. If I disappear, he can pretend this never happened. They can tell people he had no idea, that I’d fooled him into believing I was something I wasn’t. His life can go back to normal if I go away.”
Liv shakes her head. “Do you realize how stupid that sounds? You’re the one not thinking clearly.”
“Lexi,” Charlie says softly, breaking through the icy glare Liv is currently shooting at me. “You can’t do this to him. You’re crazy if you think his life will just go on because you disappear. He can’t pretend it never happened because he can’t pretend you never happened.”
“You need to talk to him, Lex. You can’t run away. It’s not fair to either of you,” Liv adds.
I shake my head. “No, you don’t understand. This will ruin him. It’s not just a possibility. It’s a fact. He’s too noble to tell me to leave. But, deep down, he knows it’s what’s best. Or, at least, he’ll realize it soon. Once he starts to see reason.”
“So, you’re just gonna go? You’re leaving Maple Lake, leaving behind the house you’ve worked so hard on? Leaving the bookstore? Leaving us?”
The tears start falling harder. “Don’t do that, Liv. It won’t be forever. Only until he goes back. I’ll stay with Ella until then. Once he’s back in Seattle, I’ll come back.”
I don�
�t add that I’ll only be coming back to sell the house. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay here, not when every inch of this small town is riddled with memories of Ian. There isn’t a place in my home I can go that won’t remind me of him.
Liv shoots me a questioning look. “How are you getting to Ella’s? Wait, how did you get here? You didn’t walk all that way in this cold, did you?”
I flush, my cheeks heating under the embarrassment of what I have to confess next. “Actually, I was hoping you could help me.”
Chapter 25
Tag
A pounding on my door pulls me from my wallowing on the couch. I lift my arm from my face, uncovering my eyes from where they were hiding from the light of day. I raise my head, turning toward the door. It’s probably Margie, wondering what the hell my little stunt was about a few hours ago. I’m not really in the mood to talk to her, but on the off chance she’s heard from Lexi, I go to the door.
As soon as I open the door, I’m surprised to find Liv standing on my front porch. She lifts a set of keys, the ring dangling from her index finger.
My keys.
My eyes shoot to the road behind her, seeing my truck is parked safely on the shoulder. My heart lifts a little as I scan the cab, searching for any sign of Lexi, only to be obliterated when I find she’s not there.
“I don’t understand. Why do you have my truck?”
Liv blows out a breath. “Because, obviously, Lexi gave me the keys.”
“You saw her? How was she? Where was she? Where is she?”
Liv raises a brow at me. “Whoa, boy, calm down. She’s fine. Well, physically at least. She stopped by the bookstore and begged me to drive her to Ella’s.”
I figured she’d go to her sister’s. The only problem was, I had no idea where that was. I also had no fucking clue what Ella’s last name was, so it wasn’t like I could pull up Google and find her address. The only way I could think to find her was to find a phone book and start calling every single Ella and Drew listed in Grover until I got the right one. That was exactly what I planned to do, provided they still made phone books. And after I finished reeling in self pity.