Emily sighed. “Forgive me, Sera, but that has no bearing on the importance of the task at hand. Dex cannot be taken to Haven. Your ‘death’ struck him hard. I understand that. But others have not destroyed their lives because of it. Thousands are dying, Sera. Many of them will not have the chance you have to save Earth. You are jeopardizing your own future and that of Elspeth Ronan.”
Sera didn’t blame Emily for not understanding. She came from a place so different from Earth. The concerns of a single person didn’t register with her—she’d spent a lifetime saving other planets, where the welfare of the beings as a whole was more important than the individual. Emily thought on the grand scale that all Elysian’s did.
Sera brought her chin up. “You can’t force me to leave Elspeth without ruining both of us. With so few subjects for extraction, will The Guides risk that?”
Emily’s lips slid into a thin line. “Your only chance at forgiveness will be to willingly come back with me.”
“I won’t.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Sera.”
“I don’t care if I never see Dex again after I leave Elspeth, but I have to try. I love him, Emily. I know you understand love. Please.”
Emily sighed. “What is the point?”
“I won’t be able to save his body, but he will still die. At least let me try to save his soul.”
Emily bit her lip. “Fine.” She blew out a breath then held up a hand when Sera grinned. “I will speak with The Guides. But it’s not likely they will give an answer you like.”
Sera threw her arms around Emily. Emily stumbled back before she patted Sera on the shoulder. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Emily stepped away. “Be prepared, Sera. The Guides will probably say no.”
Sera leaned back, folding her hands in her lap. “Okay.”
Emily nodded curtly. Without another word, she turned to the door and walked out. Sera bit her lip then swung her legs over the edge. She looked down at the thin hospital gown before turning her attention to the room around her, searching for something to wear. Nothing . . . How long had Elspeth been in the hospital?
Long enough, Elspeth’s voice ventured.
I really am sorry, Sera said back.
It doesn’t matter. Maybe I’ll get lucky and die before they take me.
Elspeth’s attitude surprised Sera. And the fading tenor of her thoughts. Elspeth’s voice was much quieter than it had been at first. “Don’t you want—” Sera began.
The woman who looked like Elspeth came back through the door. “Elspeth! What are you doing?” She rushed to Sera’s side.
Sera hoped she sounded confident. “Going home.” She stood up, wobbling on Elspeth’s weak legs.
The woman gasped. “Impossible, Ellie. You’re very sick.”
Sera looked up and met the woman’s gaze. “I want to go home.”
*****
The heavy, wooden door swung open slowly. Emily stood up from the bench outside, clutching thin files in her right hand. How am I ever going to explain? I’m going to lose my position for sure . . .
“They’re ready to see you, Emily.”
Emily nodded at the man in the dark suit and walked briskly, head held high, into the office of The Guides. Five elderly men, the oldest in the middle, sat at a long oak table, watching her as she entered.
“Where is Sera Finn?” The Guide on the far right asked.
Emily cleared her throat. How can I possibly tell him why she isn’t here without prejudicing them right off? “Please forgive her absence, sir.” Emily took a deep breath.
The guide in the middle tapped his chin. “She is still on Earth in Elspeth Ronan’s body,” he guessed.
Emily nodded. She laid the files out in front of her, opening Dex Porter’s first. “Sera Finn has asked for the opportunity to use Elspeth Ronan’s body to attempt to save Dex Porter’s soul.”
Silence pervaded the room. “Has Sera Finn been told the consequences of such an action?” The guide on the right of the reigning elder asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Such an endeavor seems to ask for too much sacrifice. There are so few subjects that meet the criteria for extraction. She asks us to risk one of those precious few?” The middle guide spoke again.
Emily swallowed and nodded once more. “She asked that we consider the consequences of the Afterlife. Sera Finn has a strong belief. The idea that someone she cares for so much is risking his soul torments her in a way I don’t know if we can understand.”
“One soul from Earth versus the worth of Sera Finn and Elspeth Ronan alone as progenitors?” The guide on Emily’s far right shook his head. “We are talking about hundreds of souls in comparison; souls that will not even have a chance of life without these two young ladies.”
“I understand, but please consider it from Sera Finn’s perspective. The worth of Dex Porter’s soul is very precious to her.”
The Guides all closed their eyes in consultation. Emily sagged, wondering if she’d said enough to give Sera her opportunity. After only a few moments they opened their eyes.
The reigning elder spoke. “We are not callous. Though the sacrifice of one man’s soul may seem as collateral damage to us, I feel The Creator would not agree. Still, we cannot ignore the risk this will be to Elspeth Ronan’s body. Sera Finn will be allowed one week to work a change in Dex Porter’s heart. The progress will be closely monitored. If at any point we deem there will be too much risk to Elspeth Ronan, or that there is too little chance of Dex Porter changing, Sera Finn must relinquish Elspeth Ronan.”
Emily tried to hide her relief. “Thank you.”
“As for her punishment . . .” the elder added sternly.
Emily flipped open Sera’s file. “Of course.”
*****
Sera almost felt Elspeth’s mom, Corinne’s eyes on her as she watched anxiously from the porch while Sera crossed the lawn to the Porter’s house. Corinne hadn’t understood, but nothing Sera said on the trip from the hospital to Elspeth’s house seemed to make any sense to Corinne anyway. Sera finally told her she only wanted to take care of some things before—then she cut off when a panicked look crossed Corinne’s face.
Sera didn’t look back. She pressed on, even though her body said she needed to rest. When she reached the porch of the house next door, she gripped the railing and allowed herself a moment to catch her breath. She turned toward Corinne and waved, smiling to reassure the woman. She didn’t want Corinne rushing across the intervening distance. Sera waited to hear Elspeth’s thoughts, but none came—not even weak impressions of her mood anymore, but she didn’t have time to consider what that meant.
Sera climbed the steps carefully. She paused before knocking on the door. Emily could show up at any moment. At the very least Sera needed to talk to Dex one time.
Mrs. Porter answered the door. She, understandably, looked shocked to see Elspeth Ronan standing on her doorstep. “Elspeth!”
“Hello, Mrs. Porter.”
“Your mother said . . .”
Sera shrugged. Explaining that she may have gotten a second chance would take time she couldn’t afford. “Is Dex here?”
Mrs. Porter’s shock turned to confusion. “Yes. I’ll go get him. Would you like to come in?”
Sera didn’t think it’d be a good idea to step out of Corinne’s sight. She shook her head. “I’ll wait out here.”
Mrs. Porter nodded. She left the door open and disappeared. Sera tried to indiscriminately look over her shoulder, hoping Emily didn’t pop up on the porch to drag Sera away.
“Elspeth?”
Dex’s voice made shivers run the full length of Elspeth’s body. Emotion clogged her throat, preventing Sera from speaking for several precious seconds.
“Hello, Dex,” she finally whispered, unable to say the words louder. It took too much effort not to throw Elspeth’s body into his arms. Or caress the hard features of his face and coax them into something softer, more like himself.
“What’re you doing here? I thought you’d be dead by now.” He spoke in a cold, toneless voice.
“I got lucky.” Sera shrugged. By the look that crossed Dex’s face, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.
“Good for you,” he barked. He moved to shut the door.
“Wait!” Sera put her hand up, holding it open. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something important.”
Dex paused, leaving only a crack between them. “What?”
“I . . . I almost died,” Sera said. “And I saw . . . I saw Sera.”
If it was possible, Dex’s face hardened exponentially. “Very funny, Elspeth.” The door shut with a snap in her face.
She pounded on the door. “Dex, please!” she shouted. He didn’t open it. Sera looked up. Corinne was making her way across the lawn. Looking longingly at the door, Sera climbed down the steps and walked back toward Elspeth’s house.
“What’s going on, Ellie?” Corinne asked when they met in the middle. Sera let Corinne take her arm and support her.
Her unsuccessful attempt to speak to Dex had given her a cover story. Sera went with it. “I talked to Sera when I almost . . . died.” She ignored the disbelief in Corinne’s eyes. A weak shot of incredulity flashed across her brain. Elspeth’s muted reaction to the story. Why does that seem so impossible? Sera asked, but didn’t receive an answer. She looked at the house ahead of them and went on, “She wanted me to tell Dex something. I won’t stop trying until I do. It was very important to her.” Sera surged forward, though she knew pushing Elspeth’s weak body was a mistake. She’d try calling Dex on the phone. Unless Emily showed up first.
When Mrs. Porter answered the phone, Sera repeated the story she told Corinne. Mrs. Porter sounded like she believed it just as much as her son, but she agreed not to tell Dex who was on the other end before she handed it over.
“Dex, I know you don’t want to talk to me but please just hear me out before you hang up. Please,” Sera said in a rush.
“I don’t believe you saw Sera.”
Sera swallowed back a crushing wave of anguish at the hopelessness in Dex’s tone. “That’s okay. I just want to tell you something. Please just give me the chance.”
“How could Sera talk to you? She’s dead.”
Oh, Dex. “From heaven.”
“There’s no such thing. If there was a God, He’d stop killing everyone off. At the least He’d kill me. So either He doesn’t exist or He doesn’t care. Either way.”
“You don’t really believe that . . .” Anguish seeped into Sera’s hushed voice.
“Get this over with, Elspeth. I don’t need to be preached to. What does Sera want?” He sneered her name.
Sera cringed. “She wants me to save you.”
Dex laughed harshly. “Save me?”
Sera rushed on, knowing the opportunity may not last much longer. Knowing Dex was probably close to hanging up. “She’s sad, Dex. Sad you’re destroying your life like this. How can you expect to see her again when you’re doing the things you’re doing?” She closed her eyes, praying for forgiveness for the lie.
“I’m never seeing Sera again.” Dex’s voice cracked ever so slightly. “So it doesn’t matter.” He hung up before Sera said another word.
Sera set the phone down.
“Well?” Corinne asked.
Sera forced a laugh. “He reacted like I expected.”
Corinne’s face twisted. “Poor Dex.”
Sera nodded and reached across the space to wrap her arms around Corinne’s shoulders. “Everything will be okay,” she promised.
Corinne gripped her tighter, her shoulders shaking.
Go to your room to rest. Emily’s voice echoed in Sera’s mind.
Sera swallowed, nodding even though she didn’t know if Emily saw her or not. “I need to go lay down.”
Corrine pulled away. “Of course, I’m sorry. Let me help you.” She led Sera down a hallway. “If you need anything . . .” Corrine’s voice seemed to fail her. She nodded and closed the door.
Sera ran her fingers along the door before going to the bed and sinking down into it. It surprised her how much the simple expedition to Dex’s house drained Elspeth’s strength. That didn’t bode well for Sera. It meant The Guides probably wouldn’t be able to rule in favor of Sera’s proposal to use Elspeth’s body.
Sera gulped back another almost debilitating swell of emotion. What if they didn’t let her stay? She couldn’t, in good faith, sacrifice something that wasn’t hers for Dex. If she could use her own body, it’d be a different story. But Elspeth, like so few around the world, had an opportunity to survive; to live on and repopulate the earth after Polio-Variant IV decimated the population.
“You are fortunate.” Emily’s voice startled Sera.
She sat up without thinking. “Why?” She tried to calm the rush of her heartbeat. Perhaps The Guides had only agreed to take Sera back.
“The Guides are affected by your concern for Dex’s afterlife. They will allow you a limited time to try rehabilitating him.”
Sera tried to smile, tried to be grateful. Her emotions tripped over “limited.” “How long?” she whispered, the rough, gravelly quality of Elspeth’s voice coming back out.
“One week.”
Sera’s heart dropped. “A week?”
“The Guides are not confident in Dex’s willingness to ‘be saved,’ as you put it. They will not risk Elspeth’s body beyond this time period. It would put her extraction in jeopardy.”
“Only a week . . .”
“Though you may not believe it, we Elysians are concerned with the Afterlife as much, if not more, than you here on earth. If The Guides believed you had a chance to alter Dex’s path of self-destruction, they might be willing to risk more with Elspeth’s extraction.”
Sera looked at her hands. “I understand. I don’t think I could anyway.” She tried to reassure herself she wouldn’t have. It wasn’t fair to place more importance on Dex’s life than on Elspeth’s.
Emily reached forward to tilt Sera’s chin toward her. “Aren’t you concerned with your punishment, Sera?”
Sera’s brow furrowed. “I suppose.”
“You will lose your job in the Transition Center. The Guides will decide if further punishment is necessary later, after you can be fairly tried.”
Sera nodded. “Thank you.”
Emily sighed. “Good luck, Sera. Even if you only plant a seed, perhaps it will be enough.”
Sera forced a smile. “Perhaps.”
Emily nodded officially at Sera before winking out of sight. Sera leaned back onto the plush pillows. She closed her eyes, intending to contemplate the various ways to get Dex to talk to her, but sleep washed over Elspeth’s drained body.
*****
Dex stumbled and fell into the door. He welcomed the sting of pain on his forehead. Easier to deal with. He grabbed the door handle and used it to pull himself up. After struggling with it he finally got the door open. He tried to focus on walking straight, though he doubted it’d fool his mom. Better to just get up to his room and sleep it off. He longed for the numb, dreamless sleep he knew awaited him.
He pushed the door shut, letting his eyes focus in the dark room in front of him. Then the light flipped on. He fell over backwards, putting his hand up to shield his eyes.
“Nice of you to come home, Dex.”
When he was finally able to focus, he saw his mom standing at the foot of the stairs. “Yeah. No problem.” He scrambled up and headed for the stairs.
“It’s three a.m.”
“Sorry.” He grabbed for the stair rail.
“Please.” Her voice cracked. “Stop doing this. Please.”
He ignored her and the guilt pulsing through him. This was Elspeth Ronan’s fault. Not his. She was the one who said Sera’s name. Made him ache. Made pain burn through him. He staggered down the hallway and into his bedroom, clutching his dresser to steady himself. Knickknacks of every sort crashed to the floor. A pi
cture of Sera landed on top. He picked it up before climbing to his bed.
Stabbing pains shot through his chest. He hated Elspeth Ronan. He hated her more than he hated anyone ever before. More than he hated Sera for leaving him. More than he hated God—if God existed. He closed his eyes.
If You have any pity on me, can You just bring on the numbness? Or sleep?
But Sera’s face still crept into his brain; floated mercilessly through it. Promise me something, her weak voice asked.
“That I’ll go out and find the first girl with the virus and kiss her so I’m not too far behind?” he’d joked with the last bit of strength in him.
She smiled, lighting up the depressing hospital room, which made the sacrifice more than worth it. “You know it doesn’t work that way.”
He leaned over and kissed her, deeply, passionately, knowing it might be the last. “Too bad, huh?” He’d stroked her hair. “You know I’ll promise you anything.”
“Just remember that we’re going to be together again, okay?”
His heart stopped at the implication. “I know . . .”
She’d tried to grip his hand, but her attempt was ridiculous. “You look scared, babe. Don’t be.” Then she closed her eyes.
He wanted to reassure her. Wanted to bad. But words got stuck in the emotional tangle in his chest.
He’d had to lean in close just to hear her next words. “I don’t want to be in heaven without you, babe.”
“I’m sorry, Sera,” he said. “I know you thought we’d be together again. I know you thought heaven was real. But it’s not. It’s not.”
*****
Sera panicked when she realized she slept through the rest of the afternoon and the night. The rays of sunlight slanting across her bed attested she’d lost twelve hours. And yet she didn’t feel stronger. She felt weaker. She sighed and pushed herself up out of bed anyway. After a shower, she went to the kitchen.
Corinne was cooking eggs and pancakes. “Your color looks stronger.”
Sera smiled. She saw Elspeth’s face in the mirror. It looked wan and tired. “Thank you.”
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