by Brent Miller
“Sorry,” he said, biting back the pain to try to appear more masculine than he was.
“Smooth,” a feminine voice chimed in. The comment was obviously meant to be a joke at his expense, but he had trouble being offended when her voice was so sweet and kind, as if she were incapable of saying something rude. Suddenly, his desire to impress her deepened while his ability to vanished. So much for thinking he could trick her into thinking he was somewhat cool. Now his only hope was that the new girl liked weirdoes, which wasn’t likely.
He turned to face her as he tried to fabricate a clever response. Drawing a blank, he just looked her in the eyes and smiled weakly. She wasn’t a ‘new girl,’ she’d just moved. On the bright side, he hadn’t messed anything up. Garrick hadn’t had a chance with her irrespective of how many couches he moved.
“Hayden Faye,” she said, reaching out her hand. Although he’d mostly given up on impressing her, he still tried to maintain a firm handshake. She beat him there, too, though. A young man only a few years older than them, probably her brother, walked by carrying a box labeled ‘books’ and Garrick could only assume it was another heavy box. Although he didn’t know him, he was grateful to Hayden’s brother because if he hadn’t been there, Garrick probably would have been stuck embarrassingly struggling with that box.
“I’m Caleb,” he nodded, unable to shake hands.
“I’m Garrick,” Garrick responded to both of them, trying to hide how awkward he suddenly felt. As Caleb walked away, he turned his attention to Hayden. “I’ve seen you around school. You’re Cailean’s friend, right?”
“I’m Brooke’s friend,” she corrected, suspiciously quickly. She let go of his hand and moved to the other side of the couch. An entire conversation was spoken with her mother in one brief smile. Her mom accepted the help gratefully, probably eager to take a break from the heavy lifting. She wandered off to help Garrick’s mom move some boxes, so Garrick was left alone with Hayden.
“Thanks for the help,” she said as they lifted the couch. She made it look easy – effortlessly hoisting up her end of the couch. Garrick struggled to maintain his balance as he tried to lift and keep up with her. He was able to stabilize himself enough that he didn’t lose his footing. What he did lose was any hope at all of impressing the girl who stood in front of him.
Present
30 days until the full moon
Garrick felt crushed leaves beneath him as he stirred. Groggily, he opened his eyes and allowed the assault of light to rush into his tired eyes. Through the trees above him, he could see bits of sunlight. In an attempt to get a better sense of where he was, he looked around the area. While he had grown to know these woods fairly well, it still took his mind a few moments to fight its way out of the haze of the previous night. After the moment he transformed, he couldn’t draw up a single memory. The others got flashes, but he still didn’t. He assumed it was because of how hard he fought to keep himself and his wolf separate. Maybe the wolf was returning the favor and keeping its memories for itself.
He looked around a bit more from the spot where he was lying. To his left was what was left of a deer carcass. His breath caught in his throat for a minute. He had seen this a few times before, but it didn’t make it easier. The sight alone wasn’t necessarily difficult for him to process, it was more an issue with the thoughts it provoked. Occasionally, the wolves would find some kind of animal and eat it in the forest. At least this time they had eaten it, and not just killed it for sport. That made him feel better about it, but he still felt odd knowing he was digesting raw deer meat. Completely psychosomatically, he felt nauseous. He knew the meat couldn’t actually damage him – he would just heal too quickly – but he felt like this was something that should make him sick.
He looked away. To his right, he saw Hayden. She was lying on her stomach, her head resting on her arms. Her hair covered most of her face. He watched her breathe for a moment. In stark contrast to the dried blood on her arms and, he assumed, mouth – she looked so beautiful and peaceful.
After a moment, he realized she wasn’t likely to be the only one covered in blood. As much as he didn’t want to think about it, it started to become the one, pervasive thought in his mind. He dug his elbows into the ground and lifted himself up, working his way to his feet. Garrick sat up, then placed his feet on the ground as he tried to gain the balance to stand. He drowsily walked back to his bag. Opening and digging through it, he managed to retrieve his jeans and a bottle of water. Though his throat was bone dry, he had to choose a discomfort to remedy first – and he slid on his pants. All the others were much more comfortable with their bodies than Garrick was. As he took a long drink from the bottle, he wondered if the wolf never took it upon itself to drink or if the change just took all of the hydration out of him. Maybe he was demonizing the wolf, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it decided not to waste time finding water because it knew it would just be Garrick’s problem. He stopped himself, careful not to drink the entire bottle. After retrieving a washcloth from his bag, he used the rest of the water to dampen the cloth and clean his mouth and arms. Then he put his shirt back on.
He picked his bag up before retrieving Hayden’s. He took them back to where she was sleeping and set them both down. He pulled out his jacket from the bag and laid it across Hayden. Although he hadn’t worn it the night before, he always made sure to pack it for that specific reason. She stirred a bit, but didn’t wake up. Then he grabbed the cloth and gently rubbed the blood off her, trying not to put enough pressure to wake her. When he was confident she wouldn’t wake up to see her arms bloody, he sat against a tree and watched her sleep for a few minutes.
I should probably go find the others, he thought – but he didn’t act on it. He had to intentionally repeat the thought another half dozen times before he was able to force himself to turn away. He didn’t feel quite as heavy as he had when he’d awoken, so he didn’t have much trouble standing when he stopped looking at her. His eyes drifted, scanning the area around them. A trail of blood spread out across the forest ground. If they’d all attacked the deer together, that trail would likely lead him to the others.
Garrick followed the trail. He lost it a few times, but didn’t have much difficulty picking it back up. While his senses were always better than they’d been before the transformation, they weren’t particularly useful at that moment. It was as if the wolf had been satisfied for a while and was peacefully sleeping in the recesses of his mind. However, he didn’t need any of that to keep tracking the others. Along with the blood, there were broken twigs, and the ground looked much more disturbed than other areas. Dirt around it was softer, as it had been shaken about by multiple large beasts. The trail led him to a small clearing. It wasn’t the same one they’d been at earlier. He thought he’d been walking for a while, actually. They didn’t usually travel so far, though, and his sense of direction was still taking its time to wake up.
He expected to find three people sleeping at the end of the trail, but that wasn’t what lay in front of him. The first thing he noticed was a tent torn to shreds. The pieces blew in a slight breeze. Following the blood, he saw two people, probably hikers, torn apart. Their bodies were covered in scratches, and missing small chunks of meat. It was as if they were attacked by an animal that decided they weren’t worth eating.
A scream caught in his lungs, and all that came out was a quiet gasp. His body refused to react. All he wanted to do was yell, scream, or cry, but he couldn’t make a sound. He just froze. His knees buckled under him as he lost all strength to stand. Garrick dropped to his knees, staring at the grotesque picture in front of him. He pleaded with himself to look away, but no muscle would respond to his commands. He’d lost any control of his body. He couldn’t even close his eyes. All he could do was stare in shock.
He wanted to vomit, but even that required more movement than he could muster. He repeated to himself all the things he wished he could believe. It was an animal. We never come out this far. As ha
rd as he tried to fight it, he knew that it wasn’t a wild animal attack. They could have hidden or run from an animal. Werewolves, though, they couldn’t escape.
“Garrick?”
The voice was only vaguely familiar, pulling on his mind from the edge of reality. He was lost, and wherever this voice was, it was somewhere far from him. Somewhere in another world.
“Garrick?”
He heard her again. Hayden’s voice was barely recognizable, but he could feel her growing closer. Maybe she was just pulling him back to Earth, but that was somewhere he didn’t want to be. He didn’t want to have to think about what he was seeing. He just wanted to block out everything.
“Where are you?” This time, she was near. He wanted to respond, but he was frozen. He was finally able to move his mouth, but no sound could come out. The world around him still didn’t seem real, and her voice was the only fragment of reality in it. He wanted to latch on to it – to beg her to keep talking.
She found him and walked up to him. She hadn’t bothered dressing before she came to find him. For her, being with him was always the priority. All she had on was the jacket he’d set atop her, and she hadn’t even taken the time to button it before searching for him. Her hair was still a mess, and there were leaves in her hair. He could still see a few spots of blood he’d missed on her arms. At least she’d wiped her mouth, probably on the washcloth Garrick had left, and her face looked as perfect as ever.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He didn’t have to. She followed his gaze, and the scene spoke more volumes than Garrick ever could have. “Oh. Oh my.”
She dropped to her knees next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. The touch was enough to snap him back. His mind knew she was trying to help – and it wanted to accept her comfort – but his body reacted from fear. He shrugged his shoulder and shook her hand away, but she just put it back. She reached around him and turned him toward her, forcing him to look away from the devastation that had held his attention since he’d seen it. She pulled him close and he buried his head in her chest.
The image was seared in his mind, and he couldn’t get rid of it; it remained even in the darkness behind his closed eyes. He tried to fight back the tears, but he felt so weak. He still had no control over his body, but the emotion finally took over as the initial shock died. Tears started pouring from his eyes. She rubbed his head with one hand and held him tight with the other. He could feel himself shaking. They had killed human beings.
She whispered things to him, but he couldn’t make out exactly what she was saying. After a few times, he realized that she was just repeating, “It’s okay.” How? How was it okay?
She planted a kiss on his head, and then went back to stroking his hair. Her steady heartbeat was a soothing lullaby, and it helped calm him, but he still felt sick. He felt weak as she held him in her arms, comforting him. Part of him couldn’t help but feel that the roles should be reversed. He should be the strong one. He should be comforting her, assuring her that life would move on. Instead, he was crying into her breast. He was broken.
That was when an even more disconcerting thought occurred to him. They had killed. How was Hayden so calm about it?
“Garrick, are you okay?” Hayden sent that text on Saturday at 10:04 am.
“Gar?” At 11.
“We need to talk about this sometime.” Saturday at 9:07 pm.
“Hey, man. Do you want to talk about it?” Chase on Saturday and 9:18 pm
“Please, answer me.” Hayden. Sunday at 9:32 am.
“Garrick Elliott! Let’s hang out today?” Tyler on Sunday at 12:14 pm.
“Buddy, Hayden is freaking out. I know it’s rough, but you should really let her know you’re alright. Alive, at least.” Chase on Sunday at 2:57 pm
“Are you alright? I know it was tough to see that.” Brooke on Sunday at 3:22 pm.
“Garrick. Are you okay? You’re scaring me. If you don’t answer, I’m coming over.” Hayden on Sunday night at 10:15 pm.
He hadn’t been intentionally ignoring them. He’d just spent the majority of Saturday sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. He was still in shock. He couldn’t remember what had happened on Friday night, and he was scared to find out. At least he could convince himself that he hadn’t done it. What if the memories came back? Then he’d know if it was him. He didn’t want to face that. He just didn’t want to process it.
His mom worked Saturday, so he didn’t have anyone in the house to force him to move. He just let the time pass. He didn’t eat. He didn’t have a television on or any music playing. He just sat in silence as the hours kept passing by. Everything felt too heavy to move, and any time he formulated a decent thought, it seemed to slip from his mind. All he wanted to do was sleep, but even that evaded him.
Sunday, he’d tried to move around the house a bit more. He played some music because he knew his mom would get worried. Hiding in his room, he’d left on some background noise so she’d think he was busy. He’d made her dinner, trying to take his mind off of that campsite.
Nothing worked.
He picked up the phone. “I just need to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He finally replied to Hayden. Deep down, he knew he should apologize to Tyler. He was the only one who didn’t have a clue about what had happened, and Garrick wouldn’t have a way to answer the questions he knew he’d have to face. However, he was only able to draw up the energy, both mentally and physically, to send one response, and he had to choose the person who’d show up on his doorstep.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too,” he told her. He dropped the phone and collapsed in bed, begging his body to – for the first time that weekend – allow him to sleep.
The trees towered above him. They seemed to go on forever as he looked ahead of him and only saw the empty woods. The symphony of birds singing in the trees and small animals scurrying about in the foliage filled his ears. Patches of sunlight fell on the ground, creating patterns in the leaves. Garrick had never felt more at peace – and more at home. All of the weight he’d felt over the past few days was gone, and he felt safe. Something was wrong, though. Cautiously, he looked down at his hands, examining them carefully. It almost felt like he wasn’t himself. He took a few paces forward, examining the forest, looking for something. He didn’t have any idea what he was expecting to find.
That wasn’t true. A single thought ran into his mind, and he knew exactly what was off – and exactly what he was trying to find. The campsite. He was trying to find it. Maybe if he saw it again, he’d get some kind of closure. Maybe he’d see how things actually happened. Maybe he and Hayden were happily eating a deer while the others furiously killed innocent people. He wasn’t sure that would make it better, but at least he’d know he didn’t kill anyone.
He stopped. He didn’t want to see it. What if he was wrong?
Garrick heard a sound coming from a few yards away. It sounded like a low growl from a beast hidden in the trees. How was that possible? It was broad daylight. It couldn’t be a wolf. Yet, against all logic, he knew it was. He could sense it.
Cautiously, he stepped back, instinctively terrified of the creature as it emerged from the shadows in front of him. Its eyes were blue, but the color wasn’t as pure and deep as Hayden’s were. They were paler, a lighter shade of blue. It stalked toward him. This wolf didn’t walk like Hayden, either. It was more powerful, not as gracious. It walked with authority, which just filled Garrick with fear. Garrick turned and ran – the adrenaline coursing through his veins stopping any negative thoughts or bad feelings from slowing him down. As he ran, he allowed all his burdens to fade, dropping them as dead weight that would only get him caught.
The wolf took pursuit. Garrick placed his hand on a tree branch and vaulted over the trunk of a fallen tree. The wolf leapt and cleared it with ease. It was gaining on him. The forest around him looked darker for some reason, as if the sun refused to shine through the canopy. It
didn’t make much sense, because as he looked around, it seemed that a majority of the trees had fallen. Garrick ran toward another tree, one of the few which still stood tall. He jumped up, driving his foot into the trunk and pushing down. Launching himself upward with the second step, he managed to catch a relatively high-hanging branch. Knowing what the wolf was capable of, he didn’t let himself stop to breathe. He climbed, hiding within the branches and leaves. He was ten feet off the ground, but the wolf was running after him fervently. He didn’t spare himself a second to look at it – he just had to get as high as he could. Garrick pushed upward, one branch to another, climbing for safety. As powerful as that wolf was, it wouldn’t be able to climb. He saw the top of the canopy, and the sun was just starting to peek through at him. Garrick reached up, grabbing one last branch to hoist himself upward.
He felt an impact at his ribs. The wind was knocked out of him, and his hand slipped from the branch. The wolf had apparently jumped to him. He tumbled from the branch and fell toward the ground, still looking upward. The wolf had its paws on him, and it stared down at him as he fell. If the fall didn’t kill him, the beast would.
The alarm woke him from his nightmare again. He was panting heavily as he shot up in bed. After allowing himself a moment to catch his breath, he ran through the typical steps of getting over his dreams. He wandered to the bathroom and splashed water on himself, verbally reassuring himself it was just a dream. Still, it felt as though the running and the adrenaline in the dream gave him exactly what he needed to function again. Of course, that also could have been his rude awakening.
Garrick still couldn’t get the campsite off his mind, but at least he felt like his body was responding to his commands again. He got ready for school, taking his time. Before he’d been scratched, Garrick had been the type of person who needed a dozen alarms to actually wake up. Since he’d been scratched, though, the first one was enough. He’d never gotten around to pushing back the time of the alarm, though, so he was always up early. He’d grown to love having time in the morning to actually get ready for the day. Before he left, he snuck into his mom’s room and kissed her on the forehead. She stirred a bit and he said, “I love you, Mom,” but she didn’t wake up as he headed off to school.