by Brent Miller
“How are you doing?” Sammi asked. Though she’d blocked his view of the countertop when she sat down, Sammi had somehow managed to surprise him nonetheless. Garrick tried in vain to hide his startled reaction.
“Sorry,” she said, smiling. “Thought you saw me.”
“Yeah,” he responded. “Guess I was distracted.”
“So how are you doing?”
“With?”
“That girl of yours.”
“She isn’t mine. Not anymore,” he said. Finally, he told someone the truth. At least something which was true. It felt like all he’d done for weeks is hide and reveal only the safe parts of anything he said.
“I know,” she said. “It’s written all over your face.”
“Oh.”
“I just wanted to make sure,” she added slowly. She sounded hesitant – as if she were waiting for him to continue the conversation. At the moment, though, he wasn’t particularly interested in any type of human interaction. Garrick just allowed the silence to continue.
“I was thinking,” she finally added. Garrick wished another customer would wander in and distract her, but the next rush wouldn’t arrive until after school. She seemed like a nice enough person, but she clearly couldn’t read a room. He’d talked to her quite a bit, but this was bordering on the longest conversation they’d had, and he couldn’t understand why she chose that particular moment to have it.
“Maybe I could make you some dinner,” Sammi proceeded cautiously. She looked nervous, and Garrick could tell that she was as horrible at making friends as he was. “Take your mind off things. I’m a great cook.”
Drifting through the sea of thoughts, Garrick barely registered that he was supposed to be providing an answer. He just stared blankly at her.
“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date, just two friends hanging out.” She mistook his lack of a response as denial and quickly corrected herself.
“Okay,” he responded, emotionless. Only half of his attention, if that, was dedicated to the conversation. “That sounds great.”
“Wow,” she replied happily. He used all of the strength he had to pull his mind from Hayden’s voice and focus on Samantha’s.
“Okay, how about Friday?” she asked, sounding a little too excited.
“Yeah, perfect,” he said. For a second, he thought about whether he had plans with Hayden on Friday, and that just brought him even lower. “I’m not doing anything Friday.”
“Your place or mine?” she asked.
“Uh, well, my mom isn’t going to be home,” Garrick replied. Realizing that he’d agreed to spend time with another person, he quickly searched his brain for excuses to reverse the mistake.
“So yours?” she jumped in quickly, not allowing him to stretch out the answer any longer. “That’s great, it’ll be better if we don’t have to deal with my family.”
Garrick searched his brain for any other excuses, but he couldn’t think clearly. Her smile just made it more difficult. He felt more awkward with each passing second, and the silence was becoming painfully obvious.
“Yeah, that works for me,” Garrick sighed. She gave him her number. They exchanged awkward goodbyes as he left and headed home.
Great, he thought. I just agreed to a date. What was I thinking?
Really, he hadn’t been. Not about her at least. He wasn’t used to girls being so forward with him. Garrick desperately racked his brain for a solution. Of course, he could always just cancel, but he knew he’d feel terrible. He could invite other friends to make it less awkward. If he brought Chase and Tyler, it would just be a group of friends eating together. As quickly as that idea came, though, it dissipated. She’d most likely be intimidated when she expected just Garrick. Anyway, he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to explain the situation to Chase.
“Hey,” he texted Tyler. Normally, Garrick sent messages in paragraphs, but as he gathered his thoughts, he sent the singular word. As quickly as he could think, he typed, “I need a huge favor. I sort of have a date on Friday.”
“What?” Tyler texted back. “You and Hayden made amends?”
“No. The girl from the coffee shop. I didn’t think about it, she just asked me and I was distracted and I said yes. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t be going out with her, it isn’t fair for anyone. But she was so happy, I can’t just cancel...”
Trying to type every thought into words, Garrick was hammering away at the keys on his phone. The words just flowed into texts as a stream of consciousness. While he was confident Tyler would understand exactly what was happening, he knew no one else would from the fragments of sentences he kept sending. In some twisted way, he was actually glad to have a problem with which he could trust his best friend again. There was some modicum of normalcy creeping its way back into his life. Of course, the circumstances were undesirable, but he was finally able to be totally honest with Tyler about something again – for the first time in years.
Garrick had sent at least a dozen messages, ranging from one word to multiple paragraphs, before he felt confident that he’d emptied his thoughts into the texts. Though Tyler’s response only took a few minutes, the wait felt like hours. His heart was pounding – though he wasn’t quite sure why.
“No need to worry. I have a plan.”
“What is it?” Garrick asked. He held his phone, staring at it intently as he waited for the message to come through. He didn’t even notice where he was walking anymore.
“I’ll go. I’ll bring Kayla and we’ll make it a double date. Double dates are much less awkward.”
That was a horrible plan. She had planned to make him dinner, and she would show up and see two extra people? Wouldn’t she be just as off-put as she’d be if he cancelled on her? Maybe, but she wouldn’t be as hurt. He hoped.
“Good plan, right, Garrick Elliott?” Tyler sent.
Without any other option, Garrick responded, “No. Not at all. But it’s the best one I’ve got. Be there at 6.”
Garrick looked up and found himself surrounded by trees. He thought he’d been walking home, but the texting had apparently set him off course. The woods were actually a very calming place for him when he wasn’t going there to transform into a ravenous beast. Just being surrounded by nature, he felt the stress start to fade away.
He wandered around for a bit, taking in his surroundings. The sun was high in the sky, and there were patches of light sprinkled all around him. The leaves on the trees were blowing with the slight breeze which kept the air even cooler than it actually was. In front of him, there was nothing but dense foliage as far as his eye could see. Looking over his shoulder, Garrick wondered how far he’d gone. There was no sign of civilization. Subconsciously, he must have been avoiding running into trees for quite a while.
A tree a few feet to his right shook, disturbing all the life anywhere nearby. Squirrels darted down the trunk, insects scuttled away, and at least thirty birds angrily departed from the branches. Their squawking and the flapping of their wings drowned out any sound that there had been around him. He weaved to the side, avoiding a raven which passed inches from his face. As he watched, it dodged past the trees to his left until it disappeared into them.
Curiosity slithered into his mind, forcing him to question what force could cause so much commotion. Whatever it was, he knew he didn’t want to be anywhere near it. Though his brain repeated that thought – telling himself to avoid looking at any cost – his legs seemed to disobey him. A low growling rose from the shrubs nearby as he approached the tree which had been shaken. He wondered if there were any bears around there. He hadn’t seen any, but there weren’t many animals powerful enough to force that much motion out of a tree.
Time to go home, he thought. It was more of a pleading with his own subconscious than anything else. He couldn’t make himself leave, though. The part of him which was concerned for his safety was succumbing to the part which needed answers. He pushed a low hanging branch to the side and ducked down, trudging throug
h the increasingly dense foliage.
Clouds blotted out the sun, covering the patches of light and plunging the forest into darkness. Fear started to flood his mind as the growling intensified. He could feel the sound reverberating through the ground underneath him, vibrating in his chest. The logical side of him knew it was time to turn and run. He should get back home. But something within him he didn’t know existed kept him going. He’d come so far, and deep down, he knew that it was too late to turn back. There wasn’t much waiting for him back in the town aside from an awkward meal and heartbreak – but here, there was more. Although he didn’t know what it was; he knew there was some secret hidden just beyond his reach, and it caused him to keep pressing forward into the darkness.
He saw an outline of a dog dart past him. Maybe it was someone’s pet that got loose. It probably heard the bear too, and it was running to get out of the woods. Every animal in existence seemed to be smarter than he was in that moment. They all followed the instincts screaming to run to safety.
Distracted by the dog, he didn’t notice the much larger figure move. By the time he processed the motion, it stood only a few feet in front of him. He couldn’t distinguish its full form, but the creature looked majestic in a sense. It radiated power – and he was drawn in by it. Every fiber of his being screamed to run, climb a tree, get to safety by any means necessary – but he just watched.
The creature’s back was arched, its paws planted firmly into the ground. Garrick still tried to tell himself it was a bear. For a brief moment, he acknowledged the peculiarity of that being his preferred outcome. The bear rose to its hind legs and Garrick could sense its eyes looking at him. The ground reverberated as it opened its mouth and roared.
No, not roared. Howled.
The wolf dropped back onto all fours and circled Garrick. Panic started to set in. He couldn’t understand why death at the claws of a bear seemed preferable to a wolf. Nonetheless, his brain started to react more when he realized what stood in front of him.
He’d lost sense of direction, but from where he thought was the direction of the town, he heard thunder. A flash of light illuminated the woods, and he saw the bright eyes of the wolf for a brief second. The wind grew much stronger, and the trees around him were shaking furiously.
He backed away until he hit a tree. The wolf inched closer to him until he could see its eyes shining through the darkness. They were the color the sky had been when he’d left his house that morning – a beautiful but pale blue.
“Good dog,” he muttered, mustering everything he had to instill the slightest hint of confidence in his shaky voice. All he could do was hope the creature would respond to the tone in his voice. Maybe it wouldn’t tear him to pieces if he whispered sweet nothings to it as it grew closer.
It pounced, and he ducked and rolled to the side. The creature caught on a second too late, but it was able to twist its body enough to slam his side into the tree instead of his head. The tree splintered, and Garrick could hear the sound of wood cracking even louder than the thunder that grew closer.
The wolf crawled toward him. He was paralyzed.
It stood directly over him. Its eyes stared into his. What he saw in them was confusing. It was as if there was a shred of intelligence – almost as though it recognized him. Behind what he knew to be a monster, a creature of nightmares, there was a shred of humanity.
Then, that shred disappeared as it bared its teeth, which reflected the glint of lightning as it bolted across the sky.
Garrick shot up in his bed, sweat pouring down his face. It was dark outside, but he had no idea what time it was. He vaguely remembered coming home, but he also remembered wandering into the woods as he texted Tyler about his date. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his thumb as he breathed heavily. He scooted backward so he could lean his back against the headboard of his bed, needing the support to sit up.
He leaned his head against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. Willing his heartbeat to slow down and carefully monitoring his breathing, Garrick tried to calm himself down. Regardless of how many times he told himself it was just a dream, it felt like more, and he was unable to get it out of his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed deeply.
The events of the day were all coming back to him, but he couldn’t tell which of them had actually happened and which he had dreamed. They all flowed together. He wondered which part of the day he had dreamed.
Garrick reached over the side of the bed to his nightstand, grabbed his phone, and checked the time. It was after nine. He saw his text messages. His mom left one telling him to order a pizza if he wanted food. She’d left money on the counter. With his stomach in knots from the stress, he couldn’t imagine any food sounding appetizing ever again. Even if he decided to eat, he was just going to make a sandwich. He refused to spend any unnecessary amount of her money.
He had another text from her. “Ily Gar-bear. ;) That means I love you Garrick in teen talk. Mixed with a bit of mom talk.”
That brought a smile to his face. She texted just as much as he did, and she was handy with all the expressions people used throughout them. She didn’t really understand emoticons, though, and it always made him laugh to see her use or misuse them.
“I love you too, Mom,” he sent back. She’d texted hours ago, but he responded nonetheless. He knew it would make her happy to see it.
The third and final message in his inbox was from even earlier in the day, and it was from Tyler. “What are friends for, if not devising mediocre plans to avoid potential awkwardness? I’ll bring some pie.”
So that part had not been a dream.
Chapter 5
Twenty-one months ago
“Tyler, I really need your help here,” Garrick said. He was becoming frantic due to his inability to conjure up the right words.
“Settle down, Garrick Elliott. What’s the problem?” Tyler asked. Sitting on the couch in his living room, Garrick felt himself teetering on the verge of a meltdown. He could ruin everything, and that fear was paralyzing. Nonetheless, he was equally scared of perpetually regretting a lack of action.
“I’m going to ask Hayden out.”
“It’s about time,” Tyler laughed, leaning back a bit. It was clear that he felt a wave of relief – probably assuming there was something far worse hiding behind Garrick’s fear.
“Well what if she says no?”
“What reason could she possibly have to reject you?” He smirked a bit, but Garrick wasn’t sure if it was a serious question. His rationality wavered as he continued to panic.
“Have you seen her?” Garrick exclaimed.
“Indeed I have,” Tyler said, placing a hand comfortingly on his friend’s shoulder. “She is so far out of your league. I’m legitimately dumbfounded at the prospect that the relationship has progressed as far as it has already.”
Garrick knew he was right, but it didn’t calm his nerves in the slightest.
“But it has,” Tyler continued with a shrug. “Logic isn’t a factor here. This girl is crazy about you. She sees something far greater than anything you see in yourself. Trust me, I know it’s there.
“Hayden wouldn’t turn you down if she were paid to. The way the two of you are practically cinematic. It’s so perfect that the rest of us are thoroughly convinced it’s a ruse – the two of you are putting on a well-conceived show. Yet, against all odds, it’s an actual relationship.”
“Maybe she’s just happy being my friend.”
“If you honestly believe that, I find it hard to believe you weren’t intentionally diverting your attention from her advances.”
“I’m blind to signs! You know that. I can’t do any of this subtle relationship development. What if I misread something?”
“She’s been illuminating neon signs in your face for a month. At this point you should just be happy she hasn’t given up on you yet.”
“I don’t even know what to say.”
“Would the s
pecific words make any difference? Just stand up, walk across the street, knock on her door, and blather on about how attracted you are to her until she kisses you. Any combination of the words ‘will you go out with me?’ will suffice.”
“Okay,” Garrick nodded forcefully, trying to convince himself he was prepared. He stood up and walked to the door, head held high and confidence overflowing. As soon as he reached it, though, he turned back around. His feigned confidence faded and he attempted to make a hasty retreat. Tyler was right behind him, blocking his path. He gave Garrick a friendly, albeit forceful, nudge through the front door.
“Don’t make me ask for you, Garrick Elliott. I will, and that will embarrass all of us.”
Garrick gulped overdramatically, nodded, and turned back around. He crossed the street and travelled the short distance to Hayden’s door. As he knocked, he felt as though his lungs were collapsing within his chest. Even if she said yes, what was he going to do? Garrick didn’t have the slightest idea on how to be a good boyfriend. The door opened, interrupting his thoughts.
“Hey, Garrick,” Caleb greeted. “I don’t assume you’re here for me?”
“I was hoping to talk to Hayden,” Garrick responded, trying to conceal his awkwardness.
“Well, a guy can dream,” Caleb shrugged as he called to Hayden. She rushed down the stairs as her brother walked away.
“Hey Garrick,” she smiled.
“Hi,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. He stood there in silence for nearly a full minute as she looked at him expectantly.