by Brent Miller
Garrick ran, jumped onto the roof of the house, and kept running. He made a break for the trees, where he knew he’d be safe. Humans didn’t like the trees, they weren’t usually there. And if they were, they were weak. And in the trees, Garrick had a pack. Within minutes, he crossed the tree line. That was where he saw her.
She stood near the edge of the woods, waiting for him. It was as if she had been looking for him, and she knew he’d be coming back to her. Her eyes scanned the town; not full of hunger, but loneliness.
Everything that their human selves had done, it all faded away as he sheepishly paced near her. She welcomed him by rubbing her head up against him. He felt at home as Hayden cuddled herself closer to him.
Garrick’s eyes fluttered open. He was lying in the leaves, and he had a jacket laying over him. His jacket. He didn’t remember getting it back from Hayden, but assumed he must have. Not completely aware of the events of the previous night, he couldn’t imagine any other reason he’d have it. Until he heard her voice.
“I thought you might be cold,” Hayden said. She leaned against a tree, smiling at him as he rubbed his eyes. His face lit up as he saw her, apparently forgetting it wasn’t supposed to smile in response to her anymore.
“A little bit,” he admitted. She tossed him a pair of pants.
“I hoped you come,” she said as he pulled on the pants. “I have to be honest though, your timing could have been better.”
He walked up to her and pulled her into an embrace. It was a hug that said everything that had to be said. He apologized for everything – for abandoning her and blaming her for those people getting hurt. And she just hugged him right back, leaning her head on his shoulder, apologizing for not supporting him and for walking away. Neither of them was willing to let go until they heard rustling in the leaves.
Hayden glanced up. She looked past Garrick’s face with the slightest pinch of fear. He knew who was going to be there when he turned around. He’d have to face Aldric sooner or later, but he’d hoped he’d have a few more minutes to prepare himself first.
“What is he doing here?” Aldric asked, glaring at the two of them. Garrick didn’t know how to respond, with so many words floating through his head. He still wanted to hate Aldric, but after what happened the day before, he couldn’t blame him for anything. He knew that.
Aldric wasn’t intentionally leading them to hurt people, and Garrick couldn’t go one turn alone without putting himself in danger. Without putting Chase in danger.
“Please, don’t do this,” Hayden begged.
“Not right now,” Brooke added, stepping out from some trees behind Garrick. Cailean stood silently next to her. If even Brooke was stepping up to defend him, they definitely sensed that Aldric’s temper was much worse than even Garrick had thought. Garrick could obviously tell as well, but he wondered if his leaving really had that much impact on the pack. Or, maybe Brooke just didn’t want to ruin her day after she’d just woken up naked in a pile of leaves – presumably beside a dead animal, judging by the blood on her face.
“I’m not going to write this off,” Aldric said, giving each of them a miniature glare before returning the entire focus of his anger to Garrick.
“I’m sorry,” Garrick offered.
“I told you to stay away, Elliott.”
“I know, Aldric. And I was wrong. I see that now. I thought that I could handle it better on my own. I thought that I could stop myself. But I killed someone yesterday. It was self-defense, but that doesn’t make it easier. I can still see the face he made as I forced that least bit of breath from his lungs.
“I almost killed an innocent little girl. I would have, had her dad not shown up. It was hungry, that’s all I know. It was hungry, and it just wanted something to eat. I saw the fear in her eyes, Aldric. And it didn’t care.
“I thought that being with you all kept me tied to this, to being a wolf, a monster. But I was wrong, you all keep me human. I need you, or I’ll get myself killed. Myself, or worse, someone else. I’m sorry, for everything Aldric. I really am.”
Garrick could see all of the others’ faces full of surprise. He didn’t know if it was at the fact that he remembered so clearly, which they all knew wasn’t characteristic of him, or due to the tears welling in his eyes, but they were all shocked.
“I gave you a chance. You denied me. I can’t protect you anymore,” Aldric sighed.
“Dad,” Cailean stepped up from the shadows. His dad was still full of rage, and they all knew that no one crossed Aldric when he was angry. Cailean may have been a jerk to everyone else, but he would never speak out of turn to his father. He was just as scared of him as everyone else was. Garrick was in shock as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. “He’s one of us. We can’t just leave him on his own. Give him another chance.”
Garrick could see the rage boiling up inside Aldric. Not only was his son against him, but so was the rest of the pack. Garrick expected him to explode, but something shifted in his face. The anger was gone in an instant, and it was replaced with something possibly more unsettling. The best way Garrick could describe it was longing.
“Do you remember what I said, Garrick? The last time we talked?”
“You… You said never to show my face to you again.”
“Ah, that I did. But before that. I told you that I would never turn my back on my own.” Aldric sighed and turned away. He rubbed his face before turning back to Garrick.
He reached his hand out, and Garrick hesitantly grabbed it. Aldric pulled him in and hugged him. “You were always one of mine, Elliott. You’re not just one of us – you’re my son. I’m glad you’ve returned.”
Chapter 11
Fourteen months ago
Garrick found Cailean behind the gym, effortlessly running laps around the track, after school was dismissed. Countless thoughts racing through his mind, Garrick took a deep breath as he walked up to Cailean. Each step was a mistake, and he knew that, but he couldn’t just let everything happen without standing up for himself. He had no idea what that entailed, though, or what source of bravery he was drawing upon to continue walking.
“Cailean,” Garrick muttered, courage absent from his voice – apparently expended by the walk. His fist balled up at his sides as he focused on his anger. That was the only way he could see himself actually following through with any sort of confrontation.
“Well, hey there Garrick,” Cailean smirked, slowing to a stop as he finished his lap and walked up to Garrick. Garrick could feel the blood boiling in his veins – and he wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face. What could she possibly see in this guy? Apparently, arrogance was all women wanted.
“How are things with Hayden?” Cailean continued, poorly feigning innocence.
That was it. Garrick rushed him, pinning him against the brick wall to the side of the track. He pressed one arm hard against Cailean’s throat, holding him against the wall with all his might. Garrick drove his other hand into Cailean’s stomach and Cailean lurched forward, only to have his movement restricted. Though he was coughing and gasping for air, Cailean’s eyes looked oddly calm.
“How dare you?” Garrick spat.
Cailean’s smirk didn’t falter for a moment. He punched Garrick in the ribs, and Garrick dropped his arms, freeing Cailean. Winded, Garrick stumbled back and Cailean grabbed him, spun him around, and threw him into the wall. At the last second, Garrick turned his face to the side to avoid plunging his nose into the brick, but he wasn’t able to save himself from a painful impact. Garrick turned to Cailean, raising his fists. He couldn’t even take a guess at what his next step should be, but he’d always heard fighters say to keep their hands up.
Garrick threw a punch, hoping to catch Cailean off guard, but Cailean easily ducked under it and countered with a punch to the stomach. Garrick dropped to the ground, his breath fleeing from his lungs. He struggled to climb to his feet, but Cailean placed a foot on his chest and kicked him back to the ground
before he could rise up.
“I dare you to get back up,” Cailean challenged. Garrick did, and Cailean punched him again, knocking him back to the floor. As he fell, he hit his head on the track beneath him, and his vision blurred. He tried to will himself to stand, but there was no strength left in his body. Cailean laughed as he walked away.
Garrick wasn’t sure how much time passed before Hayden came into view near the side of the building. It probably wasn’t more than a few moments, because it barely gave him time for his sight to return. Cailean must have sent her as soon as he could to go admire how much better he was than Garrick. Picking up the pace to a sprint as she rounded the corner, she closed the gap and dropped to her knees next to him.
“Garrick,” she cried as she pressed her hands against his shoulders as if that would help him in any way. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he responded angrily, shoving her hands away. The rapid motion made him dizzy, but he tried not to let her see that.
“What were you thinking?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Garrick groaned. He struggled to his feet, trying to catch his breath. Hayden tried to help him, but he pushed her away, unwilling to acknowledge that he needed her.
“I need to get home,” he muttered. Recovering slowly with each step, he walked away.
“Let me help you,” she offered.
“No! I don’t need you,” he yelled, facing her again. “Alright?”
“I know,” she told him. She seemed to sense that the problem was much deeper than what was currently happening, and tears started to fill her eyes. “But what if I need you?”
There was nothing left for him to say, so Garrick just turned away and kept walking.
Present
29 days until the full moon
“What happened?” Hayden finally asked. The previous morning, Aldric had told them all Chase wasn’t coming back, but no one pressed Garrick too hard for answers. Maybe they could see in his eyes that he’d break. Garrick wasn’t sure how Aldric knew, but he’d probably been alive long enough to know what it meant when he saw Garrick come back alone. Now, Hayden was searching, as gently as she could, for the answers they all wanted.
Over the past few hours, with her sitting next to him on the bed, he’d been trying to recap the events of the past few weeks. He expected her to be fuming, but she wasn’t even upset about what had happened with Samantha. Granted, he had left out the part about Tyler’s theory on what it meant for him to transform on nights when the moon wasn’t full.
Still, she took everything surprisingly well, but Garrick couldn’t help but wonder if that was just because she hadn’t fully decompressed yet. She was bound to be having trouble processing the sheer volume of events. What had probably been a slow, painful three weeks for her had passed surprisingly fast for Garrick, given everything that happened.
After he’d finished telling her about his accidental date all the way up to that kiss and his awkward exit, silence filled the air for at least half an hour, but she never moved her foot from where it sat under his leg. Between the two of them, that was almost like a secret language that meant everything was going to be okay. If she’d moved away from him that would have seriously concerned him about the possible future of their relationship.
Still, he didn’t want to push it. He kept his arms folded in his lap and leaned against the wall, his legs extended sideways across the bed. She sat next to him, her hands placed atop each other on her knee. She had her legs pulled up, her feet on the bed. Garrick wanted to place his hand over hers, but he wasn’t sure how she would respond to that. Instead, he resolved to just be happy with what he had.
Garrick looked at her sadly, his mouth opening slightly as he tried to formulate words. Unable to produce any more sound, he kept quiet and turned his head forward. With a sigh, he dropped his head and closed his eyes. Breathing deeply, Garrick rubbed his eyes and realized he hadn’t slept enough. He deeply doubted he would ever be able to sleep well again. Images of the previous night flashed through the darkness, but he didn’t try to escape them. He deserved to be haunted by these ones.
He felt her hand on his left arm, and he reached over and placed his right hand on hers. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes, and he closed them tighter in hopes that would fight them off.
“What happened?” she repeated, her voice so gentle it actually put him more on edge. He didn’t understand how she could be so perfect in every situation – how she managed to have such good composure even after everything Garrick had said. It was in that moment that it dawned on him, though – it wasn’t that she was unaffected by the news; she was just strong enough to contain her emotions and focus on the issue at hand.
With her hand in his, he could feel some of her strength add to his own. He opened his eyes and blinked the tears away. One more time, he took a deep breath, preparing himself to continue to the hardest part of the story – and to finally answer her question.
“I went into the basement,” he mumbled. Trying to speak up, he continued, “my plan was just to change there. I thought it would be perfect, and I wouldn’t hurt anyone.” He watched her nod patiently as he divulged this new segment of his story. It seemed like everything he had to say was just going to be more painful than the last. Everything that happened with Samantha was bad enough. Then there was the betrayal. And Chase.
She didn’t even know that Tyler knew yet. That information didn’t seem too pertinent, though, and he’d save it for another time. It felt like he was already throwing so much at her, and he wanted to try to focus on the actual events for the most part. Anyway, how was he supposed to explain to her that he found out? He wasn’t even positive that they were right about what was happening. But it hadn’t happened since the kiss, so it didn’t seem unlikely. Still, he wanted answers before offering her conjecture, and she was mostly asking about Chase, so he didn’t need to drag anything out longer.
“Samantha was down there. I have no idea how she knew where I was going to be. I may have mentioned the building, I guess. I don’t know why I would have, but I was excited, you know? Obviously, I never said a word about the change, but I guess she was able to put two and two together.
“She stabbed me, and she was going to kill me, but Chase showed up. He saved my life. We got out of the building, but her uncle was there. Another hunter. He shot Chase in the middle of his transformation. So I fought back. I killed him, Hayden. And it wasn’t the wolf, either. It was me. I...” He hesitated, unwilling to continue the sentence. He had to tell her the truth, though. “I wanted to. All that the wolf did was make me able, but I did it.”
“You did the right thing. He would have killed you,” Hayden sympathized.
“I know. At least, that’s what I tell myself. I don’t feel bad about it, though. I should, shouldn’t I? I killed a man, Hayden.” Maybe he just had too many negative emotions over everything else to waste any on someone like that man. Maybe it was anger for what happened to Chase. Whatever the case, though, he couldn’t muster up any semblance of remorse for what he’d done.
“No. You saved yourself.”
“I wasn’t the person I should have saved!” Garrick yelled in misplaced anger. He was well aware that Chase wouldn’t have been there if it weren’t for him, and he still hated himself for that fact. Hayden just looked back at him, her eyes simultaneously sympathetic and hurt.
Garrick sighed, trying to reign in his emotions. He knew he had to finish the story. He had to tell her everything.
“He wasn’t dead yet. Chase. He was fading out, but he wasn’t dead. I told him that everything was going to be alright. I held my friend in my arms and lied to him as I watched him die.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I killed him,” Garrick blurted out. He didn’t know how he was planning on working up to that, but what happened was definitely not part of that plan.
He felt sick to his stomach as he said it out loud. Even with his eyes wide open as he stared at the
blank wall in front of him, he saw the night again. Every second had been seared into his memory.
“No, you didn’t. You can’t blame yourself,” Hayden comforted. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, but he pulled away in shame as he turned to face her.
“No, Hayden. I killed Chase. He was shot in the heart, and he was dying. He was in pain. He asked me to kill him. I tried to convince him it would be okay, but we both knew I was lying to him. My claws came out and I killed him.”
She pulled away from him, and he thought that was the last thing they’d ever say to each other. That had finally been too much, and she was just going to leave. That’s what he deserved.
She didn’t. She sat on her knees facing him and held his face in her hands. Even though his vision was blurred, he could see the tears falling down her cheeks. She didn’t say anything for a minute as she struggled to avoid sobbing.
“Garrick,” she tried to say. She was choked up, and she had to repeat herself twice more before what she said was audible and coherent. “You did what you had to do. Just like we all do.”
“But…”
“No,” she interrupted, “no. It was a horrible situation, but you did what you had to do in it. It would have been cruel to…” She stopped. He knew what she was going to say. It was the same thing he told himself to try to make it sound better. It would have been cruel to force Chase to keep going through that pain just to die anyway. It didn’t sound any more comforting coming from her than it did from himself, though.
She shook her head, unable to say anything else. Garrick pulled her closer. Her arms wrapped around him and she collapsed forward, her chest heaving as she cried on his shoulder. He held her close and placed his head on top of hers.
He wanted to be the strong one for once. He wanted to show her that he could protect her, that he could be there for her, and that he could hold her and make her feel better. Instead, he just cried with her.
“Seriously?” Tyler asked, tears welling up in his eyes. Garrick had explained everything that had happened, and Tyler wasn’t one to face his problems head-on. He had merely tried to bury his emotions and keep finding a cure. The more he worked, the less he had to think about Chase. Garrick, however, wasn’t willing to sacrifice any more, and he wasn’t able to divert his focus like that. “You don’t even think it’s worth taking a chance?”