She hit rock-hard earth. Pain vibrated through her hip before momentum flung her onto coarse sand. Stunned, she lay still, gravel biting into her cheek. Then strong, gentle hands helped her into a sitting position.
‘Jazz …’ she managed. All the breath had been slammed from her lungs.
Tanner’s arms encircled her. ‘She’s over with Freya and is fine. Are you okay?’
She gave in to the need to rest her head against the solid wall of his chest. The steady thud of his heart drowned out the ringing in her ears.
‘Neve?’
She didn’t realise she hadn’t spoken until his hoarse voice rasped her name.
She eased herself away. His eyes were so grave it was as though she were staring at a sky devoid of all light.
‘I’m … okay.’
Her words didn’t relax the grooves slashed beside his mouth.
He brushed the sand from her cheek, his thumb caressing her skin. ‘It doesn’t hurt anywhere?’
She shook her head. She was sure her hip soon would, but with Tanner holding her as though she was both precious and rare she felt no pain. He smelled of leather and sunshine, and she’d never wanted anything more than to stay within the circle of his arms.
His intent gaze raked over her face. ‘Can you stand?’
She nodded.
He eased her to her feet, and even when she was standing, he supported her. It was only when she dusted off the dirt from the front of her shirt that his arms dropped away. Without the warmth of his embrace she shivered.
Needing to check on Jazz, she hobbled over to where the mare stood beside Freya and Liberty.
‘What were we saying about not being able to walk after the clinic?’ she said with a grimace as the school teacher passed her Jazz’s reins.
Freya gave her a concerned look. ‘Are you really okay? You hit the ground pretty hard.’
Neve stroked Jazz’s neck to reassure herself that the mare was fine. ‘I will be once I’ve soaked in a hot bath.’
From the corner of her eye she saw Tanner swing into Arrow’s saddle. As okay as she was, she wasn’t so sure about him. She’d never seen his face so grim, his shoulders so rigid or the line of his jaw so taut.
Tanner stared at the long afternoon shadows draped over the bitumen. His thoughts were chaotic and his body felt like he’d been the one to smash into the riverbank. It was a relief to finally have the horse-truck cabin to himself.
He’d made sure he’d delivered Neve and Jazz home first. It didn’t matter how cheerful her conversation was, the liveliness in her green eyes had dimmed. Her smile also hadn’t shone as bright when she’d refused his help to leave the passenger seat. The way she’d held herself as she’d then stood in front of him suggested her right hip had been giving her problems.
But no matter how much pain she’d been in, her voice had remained steady. ‘Thanks again for today. I really enjoyed the ride and seeing the hideaways.’
‘You’re welcome. I hope you’re not too sore tomorrow.’
‘I’ll be fine.’
Her use of Fliss’s least favourite word hadn’t generated any amusement. Uncaring that Freya was nearby, he’d pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘If you need anything, call.’
‘I will.’
When Freya had then walked with Neve over to the farmhouse, he’d taken Jazz past the round yard and over to her paddock. After he’d dropped off Freya and Liberty at Drew’s, he’d made a call to Dr Fliss. On her way back from town, Fliss would swing past Rosewood to check on Neve.
He eased his clamped grip on the steering wheel and sat back in his seat. But even with such physical cues to relax, his emotions remained as tightly strung as new fence wire. The memory of Jazz tripping and the horror of knowing that Neve would fall was only matched by his feelings of powerlessness. He couldn’t get to her in time.
As if in slow motion he’d seen her slam into the bank before tumbling down the slope to land in the river sand. His heartbeat had amplified in his ears and his mouth had become parched. He’d witnessed horse-riding accidents before, but never had the sight of a rider being thrown from the saddle filled him with such deep-seated fear.
On autopilot, he turned onto the back road that would lead to Claremont. He scraped a hand over his aching jaw. This time he really was going to have to sneak into his flat. Meredith would sense he was rattled the second he stepped out of his ute.
The answer as to why he felt so out of control slipped into his subconscious with the silence of a winter snow fall.
It mattered so much that Neve could have been hurt because there was a name for the emotion that consumed and rocked him.
Love.
As hard as he’d fought, and as much as he’d kept his distance, the end result had been inevitable. The love he’d believed he’d felt once before was nothing compared to the depth of what he felt for Neve. From the outset, she’d drawn him to her with her sweetness, compassion and warmth. He didn’t think there’d ever be a time when he’d look into her green eyes and not feel as though he’d forgotten to draw breath.
His sigh was part groan. The battle to keep his emotional distance had been lost. Now his self-preservation and emotions were locked in a war over a way forward.
Heart heavy, he turned past the drystone wall of Claremont’s front gate. The tips of the poplars along the driveway were now winter bare and golden leaves carpeted the ground.
Meredith waved at him from over near the rose garden. He forced his shoulders to lower as he waved in return. After he’d unloaded Arrow, he took his time to unpack and clean the truck.
As he walked over from the stables, Meredith came to meet him.
‘How was your day?’ She sat the basket she carried on the ground. To his relief, her attention didn’t linger on his face.
‘Neve had a fall but says she’s okay.’
Concern furrowed Meredith’s brow. ‘What do you think?’
‘She will be sore, but nothing’s broken. I still gave Fliss a call.’
‘I would have too.’ Meredith glanced at where he’d hit his head. ‘Dr Fliss’s been in demand.’
‘She has.’ He half turned. He needed a shower, a cold beer and space to sort out his thoughts.
‘Tanner …’ He stiffened at the seriousness in Meredith’s voice. ‘That would have been hard, seeing Neve hurt.’
He went to shrug, but that was the coward’s way to answer. He faced Meredith again. ‘It was … I couldn’t stop it from happening.’
Meredith bent to pick up the basket that was full of carrots from the vegetable garden. It was as though she sensed the more she looked at him the less he’d talk. ‘That’s not a very nice feeling.’
‘It isn’t.’
‘Tanner … you’re just like your father. You’re one of the strongest men I know, both physically and mentally. But … at the end of the day we’re all human.’
Even though her words related to not being able to stop Neve falling, they were now on a different topic.
Meredith adjusted her hold on her basket. ‘And that isn’t a bad thing. Being vulnerable, doubting ourselves, being uncertain all lead to growth and empathy. They also lead to … connection.’
Tanner nodded. Anything he said would only emerge as a rasp. His emotions remained too raw.
‘It’s okay you didn’t get to Neve in time. You didn’t fail her … or yourself.’ Meredith’s earnest gaze held his. ‘I’m saying this out of love … but you will fail her … and you … if you keep on leaving. As much as you’ve both been fighting it, there’s something real and special between you … something I thought I’d never find again.’
Sadness deepened the lines in Meredith’s face, making her appear years older. There was no doubt about how much she’d loved his birth father.
‘I hear what you’re saying.’
‘I hope you do, sweetheart because as difficult as it might seem I’ve no doubt you have the strength … to stay.’ She gave a small smile as she moved forw
ard to pat his chest. ‘Right, maternal talk’s over, you can relax.’
He gave a hoarse laugh. ‘I wish.’
Sympathy softened her mouth. ‘Keep busy, that’s what your father used to do when he had things to think over.’ She glanced at the sky that was now more grey than blue. ‘It’s getting late. Reggie will want his carrots.’
‘Here, I’ll take them. I need hay out of the shed anyway.’ Tanner reached for the basket. ‘Is it Reggie’s birthday?’
Meredith’s light laughter took the edge off his strain. ‘Reggie wishes. They’re not all for him, some are for dinner and a carrot cake.’
‘Okay.’ Tanner paused. ‘Thanks for … the talk.’
‘You know I’m always here for you.’
He gave her a kiss on her cheek before heading inside. Once he’d cut up some carrots, he made his way through the house to where his ute was parked out the back.
Meredith’s wisdom had helped make sense of his emotions. His thoughts no longer raced in top gear. He hadn’t failed Neve or let her down. He passed a hand around the back of his neck. But as for Meredith’s faith that he had the strength to stay, he wasn’t so sure he shared her optimism. The only way he knew to keep himself safe was to make sure he had his freedom. Also, Neve might not feel the same deep emotions as he did. After their kiss she’d been open in saying now wasn’t a good time for anything to start between them.
He’d just reached his ute when his phone chimed in quick succession. The first text was from Fliss confirming that Neve hadn’t done any serious damage. He texted a reply. The second message was from Neve.
When Fliss has her doctor hat on she isn’t to be messed with.
He replied: She isn’t. How’s the hip?
Unimpressed my knees didn’t hold on tighter.
He typed again: Need help feeding the troops?
All sorted.
He hesitated. Meredith’s words echoed in his head. He texted a quick reply. See you at races?
Yes. Looking forward to it.
This time there was no hesitation. He sent an emoji of a thumbs up, which didn’t fully represent the degree of his happiness at her answer. After there were no further texts he opened the ute door.
When he reached Reggie’s paddock the rodeo bull was pacing along the fence line. The Brahman-cross speared him a glare as he approached.
‘I know, Reg. Your carrots are late.’
The bull pawed the ground.
‘Don’t worry, I’m not even going to try to feed you today.’ He tossed a chunk of carrot behind Reggie, anticipating the bull would swing around as usual. The carrot landed with a dull thud. Reggie shook his massive head.
‘Right … you mustn’t have seen me throw that one.’
He held up a piece of carrot for Reggie to see and then threw it more slowly. Still Reggie didn’t turn to eat the carrots.
‘Okaaay.’
Tanner took another carrot out of the bucket. Reggie shifted closer to the fence and hung his head over.
‘You’re kidding.’ He moved forward to offer Reggie the carrot. ‘Now you want to be fed?’
The bull ate the carrot out of his hand. He fed him another and another. By the time the bucket was empty, he was rubbing the whorl high on Reggie’s grey forehead. ‘So you accept me now, do you? Go figure.’
Reggie blew into his empty palm before leaning closer to have his neck scratched.
Tanner smiled, both at the bull’s blissful expression and at the thought that Denham and Hewitt could no longer rib him about not passing the Reggie test. He was man enough for any relationship.
His heart thundered against his chest. Now he just had to silence his fears and go after the woman he loved.
CHAPTER
16
‘I don’t even think a cyclone will move my hair.’ Neve raised a hand to touch her low, messy bun.
Despite the persistence of the midday breeze and the walk into the Woodlea racecourse, there wasn’t a hair out of place.
‘Mine either.’ Ella smoothed the casual French twist below her powder-blue fascinator. ‘I’m starting to understand about Taylor’s hairspray obsession.’
Beside them Fliss ran her hand through her glossy hair that Taylor had styled into loose, soft waves. Her race-day fascinator featured a white orchid on a small bone-coloured hat. ‘And you wondered why I left my chair as soon as Taylor reached for the can.’
Neve laughed and adjusted her headband that sported delicate silk flowers in a creamy beige. ‘All jokes aside, Taylor does do the most incredible job.’
‘She does.’ Fliss paused to wave at Cressy. ‘Wait until you see our hair at the wedding.’
Cressy turned to smile at them from where she stood beside Denham over near the racetrack fence. Today the cowgirl wore a classic black-and-white dress and fuss-free fascinator. The side fishtail braid Taylor had completed with quick and efficient fingers lay draped over Cressy’s left shoulder.
Ella scanned the brooding, gunmetal-grey sky. ‘I hope it’s not like this next weekend for Cressy’s big day. I also hope this weather holds today, otherwise not even Taylor’s hairspray will help if it rains.’
Neve nodded. ‘I was thinking the same thing.’
The wind collected beneath the skirt of her A-line teal dress and rushed over the skin of her shoulders, which were left bare by the low back. It wouldn’t be long before she’d be wearing the black jacket she was glad she’d brought.
Fliss studied a nearby crowd of girls, who all sported a fluorescent blue wristband that confirmed they were over eighteen. Most were dressed in short jumpsuits, brown ankle boots and wore floppy felt hats over their straightened hair. ‘I know this makes me sound old—they all look so beautiful—but if this weather changes they’ll freeze.’
Ella sighed. ‘Oh to be young again.’
Neve swapped a look with Fliss. Sadness had crept into Ella’s usually upbeat voice. They both looped their arms through the vet’s.
‘I for one am quite happy being the age I am,’ Fliss said. ‘All that self-consciousness and doubt. No thank you.’
Neve and Ella both stopped to stare at Fliss. Headstrong and assertive, Fliss gave the impression she’d never had a day of uncertainty in her life.
‘What?’ she said, looking between the two of them. ‘Ask Cressy. I was a complete nerd with my head in a book, oblivious to any signals from the opposite sex. I’d wonder why at a college social function guys would ask if I wanted a drink after only one dance together. I used to think they lacked stamina and were definitely not boyfriend material.’
Neve joined in with Ella’s burst of laughter as the vet hugged Fliss. ‘Fliss, you’re priceless. Lucky for Hewitt you got up to speed on those male signals.’
Their arms again linked, they continued towards the distant marquee.
‘Speaking of Hewitt …’ Neve said, looking over to where Hewitt stood with Mac Barton and the horse chiropractor, Hugh. All wore wheat-coloured chinos, boots and various shades of crisp cotton dress shirts with ties.
‘He wasn’t too late after all.’
Hewitt had called while Taylor had been styling their hair to say he’d hoped to get there by mid-afternoon as a water pipe had broken.
Fliss nodded. ‘He wasn’t, thanks to Denham dropping round to help him.’
Feminine laughter sounded and Neve glanced at four women as they exchanged hugs. This sophisticated collection of racegoers possessed a city polish and confidence. All were tanned, athletic and gorgeous. Despite the height of their heels, their shoes wouldn’t be off by the end of the night like some of the local cowgirls.
Ella whistled softly. ‘They aren’t from around here. Look at those clothes, they’re high-end designer labels. Tanner might not like being the race-day drawcard, but every single guy here today will be buying him a beer.’
Neve frowned as she looked past the glamorous women. She tried not to make it obvious that she was looking for someone. Ever since they’d left Ella’s four-wheel dri
ve, she’d been keeping a careful watch for Tanner.
The past week of taking it easy to allow her bruised hip to heal had clarified one thing. She wasn’t the same person she’d been when she’d arrived. Having time on her hands no longer filled her with dread. Her newfound peace proved that her feelings for Tanner weren’t a response to any fear of being alone or need for stability. The knowledge legitimised the pull she felt towards him and reassured her that her emotions were genuine. She was complete without him.
Fliss led the way past the bookmakers, where hopeful punters were placing their bets, and then past the bar that already had drawn a sizeable clientele. Neve again searched the crowd. There remained no sign of Tanner.
Now that she had no doubt that what she felt was real, her regret grew over their agreement to not act upon their chemistry. But, despite the way he touched her and his concerned tenderness, she couldn’t assume that he too felt the same. There also remained the very real issue that, even if he had changed his mind, he wouldn’t be looking for anything permanent or serious.
Ahead of them, a white marquee gleamed against the red dirt of the racetrack. Tables and chairs dotted the section of lawn in front of the marquee that was enclosed by a picket fence. Crisp white tablecloths rippled in the wind. Leafy greenery in stylish pots prevented the tablecloths from taking flight.
Freya waved from where she sat with Drew at a table that overlooked the racetrack. While Drew and Ella went to the marquee bar in search of drinks, Fliss and Neve sat opposite Freya.
Fliss took out a selection of cheese and dips from their gourmet table hamper. ‘These all look delicious.’
‘I know, I’ve been eyeing off those baguettes.’ Freya peered into the basket. ‘Although now those wraps also look mouth-watering.’
While they enjoyed the cheese and dips, talk turned to who was still to arrive. Neve kept her expression neutral when Fliss mentioned there’d been no sign of Tanner yet. Thankfully, Ella and Drew returned with bottles of wine and champagne and the conversation lapsed as drinks were poured.
The Round Yard Page 24