The cowgirl looked radiant in her off-the-shoulder lace gown that flared into a full skirt. She wore no veil; instead, her glossy dark hair was caught at the side and fell in natural, loose curls. The only ornamentation was a simple braid at the front and dusky-pink flowers tucked behind her ear. As she walked the toes of her white cowgirl boots appeared from beneath her long dress hem.
Neve darted a quick glance at Denham. If Cressy took the crowd’s breath away, what did she do to the man who loved her? The intensity of his blue gaze and the stillness of his expression said it all.
Neve’s eyes misted and she glanced at Tanner. Her breath caught. He was looking straight at her.
As stunning as Cressy looked, Tanner only had eyes for one woman. Neve stood at the side of the wedding guests. She wore a long dress that left her creamy shoulders bare and he hoped wouldn’t take long for him to later unzip. Her long red-gold hair lifted in the breeze. As their gazes connected, he gave her a wink before looking back at Cressy.
He had no words to describe what the past week had been like waking up beside Neve. All he could do was feel … elation, contentment, love. Hewitt had spoken the truth. Even guys like them were not meant to be alone.
He turned as Cressy reached Denham and old Will moved away. As the wedding ceremony got underway, he concentrated on what was happening in front of him. When he leaned forward to give Denham the ring, emotion ached in his throat. It meant so much that the cousin he’d never known had become a best mate who’d asked him to be his best man.
After their vows had been exchanged, Denham and Cressy shared a tender kiss. Tanner didn’t dare look at Neve. What he felt for her would be written all over his face for the guests to decipher.
With the ceremony over, wellwishers came to congratulate the bride and groom. Tanner used the brief respite to find Neve. Soon he’d be looking into a camera lens trying to appear as though he wore a suit every day. He tugged at the stiff shirt collar as he made his way to where Neve stood with Taylor.
Neve greeted him with a dreamy smile. ‘That was such a gorgeous ceremony.’
‘It was and I didn’t lose the ring …’ He paused as Taylor frowned at him. Her delicate dancer body masked a will of iron. It had taken a combined effort between Denham, Saul and him to make sure there hadn’t been any product slicked through their cowboy hair.
Taylor moved forward to brush hair off his forehead. ‘What have you done?’
‘Nothing. It’s been windy.’
Taylor’s steady gaze held his.
He sighed. ‘After we were dressed we might have walked to the shed to show Saul the new boom spray and to have a cold beer.’
Taylor’s only reply was to arch a fine brow.
He spoke again. ‘We also might have been good country boys and put on our hats.’
By now Neve had her hand over her mouth to hide her amusement.
Taylor looked skywards. ‘And you wonder why I wanted to use a styling product.’ She again flicked her fingers through his hair. ‘No more being country boys until after the photos.’
‘Okay.’
Taylor marched over to where Denham and Saul were laughing with Mac and Finn. Denham sent Tanner a this-is-worse-than-a-suit-fitting look while Taylor tidied his hair.
‘I thought Fliss was scary when she was in work mode,’ he said with a chuckle.
Neve laughed quietly. ‘I think even Fliss finds Taylor scary when she has a can of hairspray in her hands.’
Tanner nodded before saying the words burning inside of him. ‘You look beautiful.’
Colour washed her cheeks. ‘Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.’
Feeling someone watching him, he glanced sideways and saw Edna dressed in vivid blue staring across at them. Realising it could look like he stood too close to Neve, he went to take a step backwards.
‘It’s okay. She knows,’ Neve said, so only he could hear.
‘No way. How?’
‘Superpowers. She knows about Bethany and Mac too and approves. She also wasn’t serious about pushing you and Bethany together.’
‘You mean I’ve been considering swapping to a white ute for no reason?’
‘I’ll fill you in later, but basically part of her plan was …’ The heat in Neve’s eyes warmed him as if she’d touched him. ‘For us to end up the way we have.’
Her grip tightened on the silver bag she held, suggesting she shared his battle to keep his hands to himself.
He cleared his throat. ‘Remind me never to get on Edna’s bad side … the way her brain works terrifies me.’
Fliss’s wave caught his attention. It was time to leave for the photographs. ‘See you on the dancefloor?’
‘Count on it.’
The beauty of Neve’s smile stayed with him as the wedding party drove down to where the mottled trucks of the majestic gums lined the river. When Cressy and Denham had a photo with Will and Judith, emotion watered in Will’s faded blue eyes.
It had never crossed Tanner’s mind that one day his father might have stood beside him on such a day. But now that Neve was in his life, it was as though anything could be possible. Except last night, he’d made the mistake of calling his father. If his father had asked after Neve he’d been prepared to tell him they were together.
Instead, the phone call had been terse and brutal. It had started with the usual city-versus-country undertones, but when a crash had sounded and Tanner asked if everything was all right things had disintegrated. Curt and abrupt, his father had told him not to ring again. If he discovered something more about Edward Jones, then he’d call.
With the photographs over, and their hair officially able to be windswept, the bridal party relaxed and socialised. He’d caught Neve’s eye several times while the smiling waitstaff carried around trays of canapés. But he hadn’t sought her out. In between introducing Saul to the locals and making sure Ella’s champagne glass remained full, he mentally ran through his best-man speech.
When dusk descended and the fairy lights emitted a gentle glow, he saw Bethany take her mother’s hand and lead Edna off somewhere quiet. From over at the bar, Mac downed a beer, his attention never leaving the direction Edna and Bethany had taken.
It was soon time for seats to be taken in the marquee, and as Tanner sat beside Denham at the bridal table he looked over to where Neve sat across from Drew and Freya. Neve mouthed the words ‘good luck’.
The entrée was followed by the first of the toasts and then it was Tanner’s turn to speak. He kept his speech simple but heartfelt, and when he sat down Denham clasped his shoulder as if unable to speak. Meredith wiped tears from her eyes with a white handkerchief. With his best-man duties over, Tanner sat back to enjoy his succulent rack of lamb.
Despite the cool evening temperature, he took off his suit jacket hoping he’d feel less suffocated and restricted. He’d only had a few beers, so being on edge wasn’t related to how much he’d had to drink. Even without his coat, his skin heated and prickled. He eased his top button open and dragged a hand through his hair. He just couldn’t seem to relax. By the time Cressy and Denham cut the wedding cake, the clink of glass and the high-octane laughter from the rowdy corner tables grated.
He expelled a silent breath of relief when the music started, signalling the upcoming bridal waltz. He wouldn’t have to keep sitting still. The guests left the marquee to surround the dancefloor as Denham and Cressy took their first dance as husband and wife.
Fliss touched Tanner’s arm. ‘Showtime.’ Her voice lowered as he led her out to join the bride and groom. ‘You know, the sooner you make it public you and Neve are together the better. Once Woodlea knows their “hot hero” can waltz you’re going to be in even more trouble.’
Tanner swept Fliss around the dancefloor. It had been important to his adoptive mother that he knew how to dance and one summer they’d attended lessons. The memory of his mother’s laughter as they’d trodden on each other’s toes eased his agitation. He smiled across to where D
enham and Cressy only had eyes for each other. Who knew Denham could be so light on his feet?
But with every swirl and twirl he and Fliss made, the light around him seemed to fade and the darkness pressed in on him. An unrelenting beat of restlessness pushed aside all contentment and happiness.
Hewitt appeared by his side and on autopilot he released Fliss into the pickup rider’s embrace. Without looking at anyone, he slipped through the crowd. Moonlight guided him over to the empty white chairs. He sat and stared unseeingly at the flower-covered arch that symbolised the future home of a bride and groom.
All evening his subconscious had been trying to tell him something. He now knew what it was. Emotion constricted his chest with the force of a zip tie. Every moment with Neve, where he’d felt a deep, pure joy, a different feeling had been evolving. Fear.
As a child he’d been confused and hurt by the suspicion that his birth mother hadn’t loved him enough to keep him. As an adult he’d been devastated when his adoptive father had rejected him over his career choices. He’d also been destroyed when the woman he’d believed he’d loved had manipulated and used him. But instinct told him if he ever lost Neve the pain and anguish would be incomparable.
He felt rather than heard her approach. Then the swish of fabric was followed by the feel of her gentle hand on his shoulder. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’ His reply was little more than a low rasp.
She sat in the chair next to him and touched his face. ‘Doing some thinking?’
He nodded and took his time to answer. He needed to be honest and to have the right words. Even if saying them would carve off pieces of his soul. ‘Neve … this past week … what I thought I wanted seemed so clear.’
‘Seemed?’ Her hand slowly lowered to her lap.
‘Yes.’ He covered her fingers with his. ‘Now … I just don’t know. I only know how to be alone. It’s the only way I can be.’
She turned her hand over and linked her fingers with his as though she was never letting him go.
‘So who was she?’
Tanner stiffened. So far, his father was the only one to know what a fool he’d been to follow a woman to the other side of the world. ‘Genevieve.’
Neve waited for him to keep talking.
‘She was a cowgirl who’d come to Sydney on a university exchange from Colorado. When she had a hard time settling in, I looked out for her. Before I knew it we were inseparable. I really did believe what we had was special and real.’
‘What happened?’
‘I turned my back on law to follow what I thought were two of my dreams. I went with her to work with horses on her family ranch.’
‘And everything changed?’
‘Yes.’ He didn’t hide the self-disgust hardening his tone. ‘I should have realised sooner that her feelings hadn’t been genuine. I was a convenient distraction, a crutch, to help her through a difficult time. When she was back in her familiar surroundings and around her usual friends, I wasn’t needed anymore.’
‘Tanner … even though we both know I’ve been going through a difficult time too, I’m not using you. When life settles down, I’ll still need you. The last thing I’d ever do is to abandon you.’
At the hurt in her voice he lifted their hands and brushed his lips across her smooth skin.
‘My head tells me the exact same thing, but my self-preservation—’
He stopped. There was nothing he could say to explain the chaotic, convoluted mess of his emotions.
She spoke into the strain. ‘What you’re feeling is natural and understandable. You just need time … time to process and to think.’ She paused, her grip on his hand tightening. ‘When are you leaving? Where will you go?’
He failed to hide his flinch. She’d already guessed he’d run. ‘Tomorrow after I take Cressy and Denham to the airport … I’ll camp out on the long paddock somewhere.’
‘Okay. You have a week.’
‘A week?’
She placed the palm of her other hand against his cheek. ‘Yes, because then I’m coming to find you. We can work through this together.’
He had no words. The woman he loved hadn’t given up on him even if he’d given into his fears.
‘Give me five days. If I’m not back, I’ll text where I am.’
‘Deal.’
She pressed a kiss to his lips and was gone. He stared after her, forcing his mouth to remain closed so he wouldn’t call out her name.
He knew he was alive, blood pumped through his veins. But the ache where his heart lay made him feel as though his chest was nothing but a hollow void.
He had five days to make sense of his emotions. Five days to find a way to silence his deepest doubts. He rubbed his forehead with unsteady fingers. Five days to justify Meredith’s faith that he had the strength to stay.
Beyond the symbolic wedding arch, just like his hope, the river flowed dark and sombre.
CHAPTER
18
Somewhere between the wedding music ending and the rustle of Ella’s blankets as she came to bed in their glamping tent, Neve fell asleep. The respite from her thoughts didn’t last long. She awoke to the over-loud whispers of a couple walking past who were convinced they were being quiet.
As soon as her heavy eyelids lifted, emotion coursed through her. Last night there hadn’t been a continuation of the magic between Tanner and her. Instead, their relationship had been put on pause. She swallowed past her dry throat. She could only hope it also hadn’t ended. The moonlight couldn’t hide the stark pain that had hollowed Tanner cheeks. She’d never heard his voice so taut or hoarse.
She’d sensed by the end of dinner that he was on edge. His ready laughter and quick jokes made him appear relaxed. Even when he’d waltzed with Fliss there’d been little indication he wasn’t enjoying himself. But the reality was evident in the subtle tension that corded the muscles beneath the fine cotton of his white shirt and in the hard line of his jaw when he’d left the dancefloor.
She’d been bracing herself for the moment when the intensity of what lay between them tripped his internal alarm. The emotions that bound them were far from casual. She just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. She’d suspected, but now knew, that to Tanner any relationship was synonymous with vulnerability. To protect himself he chose solitude and, even with Meredith, held a part of himself back.
Despite Neve’s best intentions a deep sigh escaped. If the time alone didn’t help him to gain clarity, she’d do all that she could to ease his fears. But as desperate as she was to convince him she’d never abandon him, this was a conclusion he had to reach by himself. Otherwise, he’d never truly believe she wouldn’t reject him.
The blankets on the mattress on the other side of the tent again rustled before Ella’s sleepy voice sounded. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Sorry, did I wake you?’
‘I was already awake but must have drifted off.’ Light flared as Ella used her phone to check the time. ‘The birds will soon be sounding way too cheerful for all those with hangovers or who’ve just gone to bed.’ The vet stretched. ‘I did tell you I didn’t snore, but I probably should have mentioned I’m an early riser.’
‘That’s okay. That makes two of us.’
‘Coffee? Tea?’
Despite the luxuries of the fine linen and the indoor and outdoor mats, the glamorous tent lacked power so they’d each brought a thermos of hot water.
‘Tea’s just what I need.’ She flipped back the bed covers and reached for a jacket.
Ella too left her bed. Dressed in an oversized T-shirt, she moved to turn on the LED lantern that sat on a small wooden table. The strong pool of light chased the darkness from the tent and revealed a sizeable scar high on Ella’s thigh.
Neve’s attention flew to Ella’s face. Such a scar hadn’t been the result of a simple accident and would be why the vet always wore running shorts over her swimmers. Ella turned away to pull her T-shirt hem lower. Neve busied herself with finding the tea and c
offee to allow Ella the space to slip on a pair of black leggings. The vet’s secrets were not yet ready to come out of the shadows.
With steam curling from their mugs, they unzipped the tent door and went to sit outside in the chairs positioned on the outdoor mat. Neve returned inside to get two blankets to tuck around their knees. To her relief, Ella hadn’t again asked if everything was okay. She wasn’t sure if she could discuss Tanner without her emotions overwhelming her.
Over at the marquee the fairy lights continued to glow. Black-and-white figures still dressed in their dinner suits sat on the large hay bales that formed a wall between the dancefloor and amenities block, beers in hand, waiting to welcome in the new day.
Neve had trouble focusing on anything but tent number fifteen. Even though all the tents were dark and silent, she was sure Tanner’s would be unoccupied.
Ella’s grave words validated her suspicions. ‘Before the music stopped I saw Tanner get his swag and head towards the river.’
Neve cupped her cold hands around her mug, wishing the chill inside her could so easily be warmed. ‘I thought he might have slept elsewhere. We hit a little … road bump last night.’
‘I guessed so.’
‘He’s having some time away … to think.’
Ella looked across at her and even in the grey gloom Neve could see her concern. ‘He’s leaving?’
‘For five days and then I’m going to wherever he is if he’s not back.’
Ella’s frown eased. ‘It’s not good he’s going, but that length of time is okay.’
‘It is?’
‘Yes. Five days isn’t anything compared to how long he’s been gone in the past. I have a good feeling that after this trip there’ll be no more road bumps.’
‘I hope so.’
Ella leaned over to adjust the blanket on Neve’s knees that was in danger of falling. ‘I know I once said Tanner wasn’t looking for a relationship, but since he’s met you I can honestly say I’ve seen him change.’ She paused as a kookaburra chuckled and a faint glow lightened the horizon to the east. ‘If he hasn’t listened to his heart in five days I’m coming with you.’
The Round Yard Page 27