by Pamela Morsi
He held out his strong, work-worn, empty hands before him. "That's still, pretty much, all I have. You, Corrie Braydon, are all the woman I've ever wanted, everything that I ever hoped and prayed for. That pesky little sperm that caused all the trouble in your life was the best friend that I ever had. He gave me the last two and a half decades with you. But I guess you're right. Even a life sentence doesn't usually run over twenty-five years."
Sam stopped and took a deep breath, as if mustering his courage.
"I remember talking with Mike once about Emerson's idea of 'compensation.' How over a lifetime the good things and bad things somehow even out. I know that marrying me meant giving up a lot of good things that you wanted in your life. And that through our years together a lot of bad things have happened to us. I also know that I love you, Corrie Braydon. If you leave, I will still love you. If you stay married to me, then you're right, it needs to be your own free choice."
I sat there, across the table from him, his eyes gazing into mine. What was any lifetime together based on? Passion? Habit? Friendship? Convenience? It was all those things. And it was more. It was a sharing that says, today I'll carry you and tomorrow you'll carry me. It was a hand to hold in grief and arms to embrace in trouble. It was a partner who believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself. A person who could watch you change and be willing to change themselves. Someone you could trust to always have your best interest at heart.
Marrying Sam had taken my life in a different direction than I had planned for, different than I'd hoped for. But what my life had been; the family I had, the success I'd achieved, that would have been impossible without him. I had no plans for the rest of my life. No goals, no aspirations to be fulfilled. I needed to think that through, figure out where I wanted to head next, what I wanted to accomplish. There was a good chance I might live another forty years. I wanted the second half of my time on earth to be as full and exciting and meaningful as the first.
And whatever I chose to do, I knew that it would be better, sweeter, more worthwhile with this man at my side.
"I love you, too, Sam," I told him, and then added the question that needed to be asked. "Will you marry me?"
36
Nate
2002
My parents are like the most sappy married couple on planet Earth. They call each other "honey" and "sweetheart" and they still sleep in the same bed after twenty-five years. It's unbelievable! Practically all of my friends' parents divorced years ago. And the ones who are still married, well, it's like inertia or something. But not Sam and Corrie. They are the love bunnies of Lumkee.
So, I wasn't really surprised when they called and said that they were going to renew their vows. It was just the kind of deal I would have expected from those two. I marked that Saturday on my calendar, made sure the trousers to my suit weren't crumpled up on the floor of my closet and that I had a clean shirt.
I picked up Jin and Makayla and we drove up there for the event. Her invitation was separate from mine, of course. And there was some discussion of her driving to Lumkee on her own. But eventually she decided that we could go together. If anyone mistakenly assumed that we were a family, she would set then straight.
Setting things straight was Jin's mission in life. Her family, my family, they all made assumptions. Jin didn't want anyone boxing her into anything, especially if it concerned me or Makayla.
But being boxed in was becoming more of a problem for her. She'd just closed on her little suburban house with the thirty-year mortgage and the nice backyard. The ink was barely dry when she was laid off at WorldCom. Of course, she'd get another job. But it probably wouldn't be overnight. I could help her, but Jin didn't like much help. The money she accepted from me we called “child support" We had no legal arrangement. I'd just put what money I could spare in an envelope and I'd leave it on her kitchen table. She let me do that, but nothing more. Fortunately, with the growth of my Internet business and my reputation locally, I had orders lined up and waiting lists for pieces months long. So, I was able to fork over some cash. But Jin was very proud, very self-reliant. Taking money from an ex-boyfriend was not on her list of things that an independent woman would do.
But, she did let me pick her up that day. And she looked beautiful. She was wearing a shiny, sort of silky, straight dress. It was very simple and conservative, but she still managed to look hot in it.
Maybe I was just horny. Jin didn't sleep with me anymore. She said that since our relationship was going nowhere, it was cruel to give Makayla mixed messages.
Walking behind Jin, the message I was getting, watching those shapely legs in those high-heeled sandals, definitely mixed it up for me. I just wanted her to wrap those legs around my waist.
Instead, she told me to take Makayla's hand.
The church was unexpectedly crowded. They didn't send out invitations, but word got around. Practically everybody in town showed up. The other businesspeople from Main Street, the folks from the church, Mom's teacher friends, all crowded into that little Baptist Church.
I stopped beside my grandparents, already seated in a pew. I knew they'd want to give Little Mac a big smooch.
"How you doing, Doc?" I asked the old man.
He shrugged. "I have good days and bad."
"What about this one?"
He reached a shaky, gnarled hand to Jin. "Any time I see you two kids together is a good day," he answered with a wink.
I glanced back quickly to see if Jin was pissed off. She was smiling at Doc and seemed as glad to see him as he was to see her.
"Hey, who's this hot chick you're with?" I asked as my grandmother rose to her feet to hug me.
"Hot chick? Nate, really," she scolded me, but I knew that any compliments were welcome with Grandma.
"Looks like a great day for a wedding," I told her.
She huffed in disapproval and shook her head. "It's foolishness that borders upon the bizarre," she answered. "To think I'd have to sit through the consecration of this union twice in one lifetime."
I couldn't help but chuckle at that.
"Grandma, we all know you're crazy about Dad," I told her.
With raised eyebrows and a sigh, she shrugged "Well, he's turned out better than he would have without her," Grandma admitted. "And you children were certainly worth the sacrifice."
An instant later her face was suddenly wreathed in smiles.
"Well hello there, little Miss Makayla! Don't you look pretty today."
She was conversing in her singsong granny voice for a couple of moments before turning her attention back to me, smiles disappearing.
"I always think 'only children' miss out on so much."
I ignored the jibe and steered Jin and Little Mac away before any more missiles could be launched.
Jin's parents were up near the front. Her father's wheelchair was in the aisle and her mom sat in the pew beside him with Hye Won and David. Dave had started a new church for the Korean congregation in and around Lumkee. They'd moved back in with the Chais and were able to help on a round the clock basis.
As soon as we walked up, there was a burst of excited Korean chatter as Jin's mother eagerly reached for Makayla.
I bowed deferentially to Mr. Chai.
"An-nyŏng-ha-sim-ni-kka? I said, greeting him respectfully with the polite question, "Are you at peace?"
“Ne, an-nyŏng-ha-se-yo," he responded positively with only the barest hint of a nod to his head.
From the corner of my eye I spotted Cho Kyon gazing with approval. It was important to them that I was trying to learn Korean. I would never be the guy that they wanted their daughter to marry. But I figured it was maybe not so different from how Grandma felt about Dad. It was hard to look at healthy, happy, giggly Little Mac and be sorry that Jin and I had ever gotten together.
Gilk came walking up the aisle with my sister, Lauren, on his arm. She was looking really pregnant.
"You look wonderful!" Jin told her, gushing.
I agree
d, but after listening to Lauren complain about how big the baby was getting, I said, "Yeah, and who knew you could carry them on your butt like that."
Jin jabbed me in the ribs for the insult. But Lauren laughed. She knows me. If I'd been too kind, she would have worried.
We all sat on the front rows. Makayla sat between me and Lauren. She'd been going through this kind of demanding stage where she just refused to do anything her mother even suggests. You have to pick your battles with kids. You can't make them do much, so laying down the law has got to be for the really important stuff.
She was still kind of pudgy, with little round cheeks and the sweetest little voice, which in an instant could turn into a loud, intolerable shriek. She didn't do that much anymore. Being almost four, it was now possible to reasonably discuss things with her without her doing a brat-fit on the floor.
I suppose she was a little spoiled. Everybody made such a big deal over her. As more little cousins were born to Song and Hye Won, and to Lauren, it was sure to get easier.
I said as much to my sister.
"Do what you can," I suggested.
Lauren gave me a raised eyebrow and shot back "Just don't get her a little brother. That could ruin a girl's life."
I made a face at my sister. Makayla saw it and giggled.
The music began. Mom and Dad walked down the aisle together. They were both smiling, happy, looking more at each other than at the crowd that had come to celebrate with them.
It was as if they had their own private joke going all the time. It had always been that way. I could remember wondering about that, marveling about it. What can he see in her? I'd thought. But I guess I'd learned a few things since then. A woman doesn't have to be perfect for a man to love her. And I guess vice versa is just as true, as well.
The preacher gave a little sermonette about the sacredness of marriage and how such a bond can never truly be broken. I don't know about that, but I was pretty impressed with the vows my parents made. They wrote them up themselves, so Mom's sounded the best.
Mom said, ''Sam Braydon, I promise to love you, cherish you and choose you for my husband every day of my life for the rest of our lives."
Dad's cut right to the heart of it.
"Corrie Braydon, I promise to be with you, provide for you and care for you always. No matter what happens next week or next year or forever."
It was pretty cool, really, the way they talked to each other, so up-front, no holding back. I wondered how rare that was. I wondered if it was possible for just anyone.
I glanced over at Jin and caught her surreptitiously wiping a tear from her eye. Jin does not cry. Nothing gets to Jin. Jin is in control of the universe. The only time I'd ever even seen a chink in her armor was when we had the tornado. Anything that would threaten the baby could get to her. But nothing else. She was emotion-proof. Or was she?
I don't know what made me do it. But at that moment, without really even thinking about it, I picked up her hand and I brought it to my lips.
She turned to stare at me as if I'd lost my mind. But beneath her surprise I saw something, something deeper, something that maybe we could work with.
I'm a lot like my dad. Marriage really worked for him. For the first time in my life, I thought it might work for me.
Also by Pamela Morsi
Territory Trysts
Wild Oats
Runabout
Tales from Marrying Stone
Marrying Stone
Simple Jess
The Lovesick Cure
A Marrying Stone Christmas (coming soon)
Small-Town Swains
Something Shady
No Ordinary Princess
Sealed With a Kiss
Garters
The Love Charm
Women’s Fiction
Doing Good/Social Climber of Davenport Heights
Letting Go
Suburban Renewal
By Summer’s End
The Cotton Queen
Bitsy’s Bait & BBQ
Last Dance at Jitterbug Lounge
Red’s Hot Honky-Tonk Bar
Contemporary Romance
The Bikini Car Wash
The Bentley’s Buy at Buick
Love Overdue
Mr. Right Goes Wrong
Single Title Historicals
Heaven Sent
Courting Miss Hattie
Sweetwood Bride
Here Comes the Bride
Novellas
With Marriage In Mind in the collection Matters of the Heart
The Pantry Raid in the collection The Night We Met
Daffodils In Spring in the collection More Than Words: Where Dreams Begin
Making Hay
About the Author
National bestseller and two-time RITA Award winner, Pamela Morsi was duly warned. “Lots of people mistakenly think they are writers,” her mother told her. She’d be smart to give it up before she embarrassed herself. Fortunately, she rarely took her mother’s advice. With 30 published titles and millions of copies in print, she loves to hear from readers at her website @ pamelamorsi.com
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