by V McFarlane
“She might be onto something,” Rhett grumbles with agreement, “Better than that hotel idea.”
Taron is scanning the area, “It ties in,” he nods, “And won’t be intrusive.”
“You’d need to hire a planner and a team to manage it for the six months,” Rhett says, “Someone who’ll keep it clean, safe and away from the distillery.”
“Mm,” Taron nods. I step away and head back to the truck, leaning against the side as the two men discuss the idea. I can hear their voices but not their words, I’m just happy I could help.
Thirty-three
Taron
It was a great idea.
Easy to control. And the land will actually look good if we can pull it off. The barn out here has been there for as long as I can remember, it was rotting when I was a kid, I dread to think of the state of it now. From here, it looks like the roof has completely caved in and don’t get me started on the tractor, if that’s what you can call it now. I used to play on that thing as a kid.
“It’s a good idea,” Rhett nods, scanning the area, “It’ll take some work getting this place looking nice, but I reckon it’ll sell.”
“Mm,” I agree.
“We’ll need to draw up a plan,” Rhett says, “Why don’t I get started and you,” he gestures his head towards Penny, “Give her the grand tour.”
I look over my shoulder, drinking in the way she is casually leaning on the truck door, her arms folded across her chest. The sun beams down, creating a kind of halo around her body.
I grin, turning back to Rhett, “I’ll do that.” He rolls his eyes and we both spin and head back to the truck.
“Nice work,” Rhett comments to Penny as he hops into the bed.
She gives him a shy smile and then climbs into the passenger seat, anchoring herself down to stop herself from bouncing around like she did before.
Penny watches out the window the short drive back, her eyes wide as she takes in the surroundings. I’ve never thought about it before, having been here my entire life but I supposed from a person who hasn’t lived a life like this, this place would be beautiful. It’s why I mentioned visiting the creek.
Rhett hops out before Penny and I have a chance, so instead of climbing out, I reach over and grasp her hand, rubbing my thumb over the knuckles. Her eyes dart around panicked, “What if someone sees?”
“What are you so afraid of?” I press, gripping tighter when she begins to gently tug away. “Penny, look at me.”
Reluctantly, she lifts her eyes, finally holding still, I repeat my previous question, “What are you so afraid of?”
She just shakes her head, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Penny,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes closed, “Do you trust me?”
Her breath stops and her eyes go wide, “What?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Then tell me.”
Tears spring to her eyes, “I can’t, I’m sorry.”
She tugs her hand away and jumps from the cab, heading over to the Wrangler where she then pauses to search through her bag, assumingly for the keys.
I follow after her, hurrying before she has a chance to get in the car and run away. I grasp her arm gently and drag her round to the other side of the car, the side that’s concealed from the front of the building so no one can see. Once there I pull her into me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, “I want to help, Penny, I really do.”
She buries her head into my chest, slowly relaxing, her shoulders loosening and her hands coming around to grip the back of my shirt.
“I just can’t now, Taron.”
“One day?” I ask.
She nods against my chest, “Maybe.”
“I’ll take the maybe,” I tell her, smoothing a hand down the back of her hair, revelling in the silk like texture to it as it falls through my fingers. “I wanted to give you a tour, do you have time?”
She nods and then with a glance over her shoulder, pushes up to her tip toes and brushes her lips on mine. It shocks me frozen, my mouth working on hers but my body still, heart pounding.
“For being so understanding,” she tells me, squeezing once before letting go and heading back towards the distillery.
I stand for a few more seconds and then jog to catch up, purposely brushing a hand over the bare skin on her arm.
_
Much to my dismay, there’s not a single time I’m alone long enough with Penny throughout the tour. I walked by her side, our arms brushing and just when I think I can lean in and steal a quick kiss someone shows up. She finds it highly amusing based on the curl of her lip and the light shine in her green eyes.
Frustrating doesn’t even cover it. It’s like having a giant slice of chocolate cake sitting in front of you and not being able to have a taste!
By the time we make it back to the bar, my hair is sticking up in all directions from where I’ve ran my hands through it numerous times. Penny, of course, looks pristine with her flowing honey hair and fresh face.
“I have no idea how to do this,” Rhett comes out the office, looking as bad as I do. If possible, he looks like he’s lost days of sleep in the hour or so we’ve been gone.
“What?” I ask, suddenly afraid something awful has gone wrong here at the distillery.
“The plan,” he throws his hands up, “To set event whatever in that space.”
Penny chuckles besides me, “Event whatever?”
“Yes,” Rhett deadpans, “Event whatever.”
“Event management,” Penny corrects, “And what are you struggling with?”
His eyes light up at the idea of help, “Okay, well,” and then they’re walking off, Penny looking over a pad Rhett holds in his hands whilst she nods and mm’s every now and then. They disappear through the door to my office whilst I just stand there wondering what the fuck just happened.
Do I go in there?
I shake my head, it’s my office! I cross the distance and swing into the office, finding the two of them hunched over the coffee table with paper on every available surface.
“Okay, so here, I would add an outdoor station, for like food and drink vendors if people want to outsource but you can pack it out with kitchens and bars and charge extra for use of it. Then here,” Penny points down to a map Rhett has opened between them, “I would have a picnic area. It’s far enough from the barn but close enough that people won’t complain.”
“Mm,” Rhett taps his lips, “But what do we do with all this space?”
“Well think about it,” Penny says, “This here is the barn but it’s too small to be used for anything, you’re gonna need to renovate and expand to make it worthwhile. You can add a couple of smaller cabins here for the smaller events and then here would be where you could hold outdoor weddings.”
“You’re a genius!” Rhett exclaims, his eyes darting to me over her head.
She scoffs, “Hardly.”
“This just leaves the how-to event manage.”
“You can help with that, can’t you darlin’?” I grin, stepping up behind where she is sat. Her whole body stiffens, aware of how close I am, and I love it. I love that she reacts to my nearness. “You studied it, did you not?”
“I did.” She swallows.
“Well then, let’s get started,” Rhett declares. “We’ll have a plan by the end of the week!”
“Actually,” Penny stands, “I’ve got to go.”
“But you’re coming back,” Rhett says, not a question, more statement.
“Uh,” Penny stutters, “Maybe?”
“I’ll show you out,” I tell her, glaring at Rhett for putting her on the spot. He just shrugs and goes back to reading through his plans. With a hand on the small of her back, I guide her back through the bar, noticing how the barman, a young guy called Danny averts his eyes. What’s that about?
“I’ll see you at home?” I ask and she stills, her hand on the door handle and her eyes widen before I re
alise what I’ve said. I don’t correct it.
“Yeah,” she breathes, “I’ll see you at home.”
Thirty-four
Penny
Home.
I try to push down the bubbles of belonging that are starting to pop inside me, I try to remain indifferent but who am I kidding? It feels good to belong somewhere, with someone.
And that’s what this feels like.
Belonging.
And that can only mean trouble. How can I belong somewhere with someone if they don’t really know me at all?
Maybe I’m being a little unfair to myself, he knows me, more than anyone else, I’ve been myself to a certain extent. So, what if I’ve hidden a little bit about myself? Does that really matter?
What did I do to deserve him?
I pull up outside the school gates a whole twenty minutes early and sit in the car, chewing my bottom lip.
I can’t deny the feelings stirring in me are strong. Dangerously so. These are the type of feelings that crush you when it eventually all goes wrong.
With the war raging in me, I climb from the car and head into the school yard, smiling at a few of the other parents who do so to me. I spot a familiar face and my heart crawls into my throat. Carla stares at me from the other side of the playground, her brows set low in a scowl, those painted pink lips thin and turned down at the corners.
The woman hates me.
I turn my body so I don’t have to see it, internally squirming at the death stare being thrown my way and wait for the kids to be let out of class. I hear the clip of her heels as she crosses the yard towards me, and I stiffen.
“We should talk,” she says icily.
“Should we?” I reply, keeping my head forward as if by sheer brain power alone, I can make the teacher let the class out early.
“Yes,” she snaps, “Don’t be disrespectful and look at me when I’m talking to you.”
Anger bubbles but I push it down, forcing myself not to lower myself to her level. She’s the high school bully that tormented you in school, the one who believed she was better than everyone else. I don’t turn fully, just my head so I can see her face.
“I would like you to tell your child she cannot play with Ethan anymore.”
“What?” I snap.
“I don’t want my son associating with the likes of your kind.”
I cannot believe what I am hearing. How dare she!? My kind. “And what do you mean by my kind?”
She sneers and raises an eyebrow, “Low.”
“Why are you such a bi–”
“Mommy!” My insult is cut off as a gleeful Ava runs to me, Ripley close behind.
Carla’s son, Ethan isn’t far behind, but he doesn’t run and cuddle his mom like Ava does, even Ripley wraps herself around my leg for a quick hug, he just sidles up to her side and says a weak hello.
“Bye Ethan,” Ava waves.
“Bye!”
Carla glares at me, huffs a little and then saunters away, Ethan trudging behind.
I take the girls back to the car, the anger she had stirred up inside me, simmering back down and leaving me deflated. I shouldn’t let her get to me.
But she does and I can’t help but allow the sadness to creep in.
My Ava has done nothing wrong and yet she is being punished for something that has nothing to do with her. Hell, I have nothing to do with it, but that woman has some weird vendetta against me. She doesn’t even know me.
I could only imagine what she would be like if she found out about my past. She would be like my old town as one person.
The drive home is filled with memories. No not memories. Nightmares.
She’s as bad as he is, they said, disgusting that they allow her to keep her child.
I swallow down the pain, but it just keeps coming.
How can you show your face round here after what he did!? They’d asked.
Dirty. That’s what you are, dirty.
That was everything they said to my face. The stuff behind me back? Who knows, but I can only imagine it’s just as bad, no, it’s probably worse.
There were rumours I was a part of the numerous crimes Ric had committed, from arson to theft. I was accused of drug using. Grace’s dad showed up after several reports were called in that I was mistreating Ava. He of course knew it was a lie, but process meant he had to show.
The kids in the playground taunted Ava because her dad was in prison, because he was a bad person. She didn’t understand. How could she?
I was pushed out, forced by the rumours and the words thrown my way. I couldn’t do that again. Ric ruined his life and, in the process, he almost ruined Ava’s and mine too.
“You look sad,” Ripley says quietly from the back seat.
“Oh honey,” I force a smile, “I’m okay.”
When we reach the ranch, I help the girls out and follow them into the large house, my mood seriously low. The girls know, there’s an atmosphere and instead of going off to play like they usually do, they sit at the kitchen island, their cups of juice in front of them watching me.
“Why are you sad mommy?” Ava asks, innocently.
I sigh, chopping the veg on the board with my back to them.
“Do you know what I do if I’m feeling sad?” Ripley chimes in.
I look over my shoulder at the two girls, seeing their innocence shining in their eyes.
“What do you do?” I ask, giving her my full attention.
“I dance!” She exclaims, “Dancing fixes everything, Penny.”
I chuckle, “Does it? Can you show me?”
She nods enthusiastically and jumps down from the stool, “Come on.”
Ava, giggling, follows Ripley into the family room where she then turns on the large TV and clicks a bunch of buttons, bringing up YouTube. I’m momentarily stumped because I would have had no idea how to do that.
She clicks through a load of videos until she comes to one she likes and then country music blasts through the sound system set up beneath the TV.
“Can you dance?” She asks.
I shake my head, “You need to show me.”
“It’s okay, they show you on the video.”
I finally look at the title of the video.
How to line dance.
Oh my god.
Ripley begins to follow the dancers on the screen and Ava joins, both of them stamping their feet to the music, their giggles are enough to lighten my mood.
“Come on!” Ripley giggles, jumping when the video tells her to, “Come on Penny!”
Ah screw it!
I try to follow the dancers on screen as best as I can, but my lack of rhythm has me bouncing out of time and bumping into furniture.
Despite my lack of coordination, I feel much better.
There’s no reason for me to believe anything bad will come from Carla’s hostility. She doesn’t know me.
I won’t be telling Ava not to play with Ethan. I won’t force her hate for me onto my daughter. That’s not fair.
The song changes to another country song and I grab both girls, swirling them around in the room, their shrill giggles of glee filling and lifting me up.
I dance to the music, eyes closed, body loose as Ripley and Ava dance around me.
“Daddy!” Ripley yells suddenly and I freeze.
He chuckles, “And there I was hoping I could join in.”
Thirty-five
Taron
“Come on!” Ripley tugs me into the room but I can’t take my eyes from Penny, watching the way her cheeks blush a pretty pink. I’m not going to lie, watching her dance so freely did things to me. Things that had my heart pounding and my head feeling light.
“You’re early,” she accuses, her eyes darting to the clock. She’s right, I am early.
“And I’m glad for it,” I tell her honestly, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I should start dinner,” she says shyly.
“Dance with me,” I say, offerin
g my hand and holding my breath.
Both girls stop to stare, their eyes big, little mouths pulled into smiles. They know. They don’t realise it, but they do. I’ve learned kids are intuitive, they pick up on everything.