by V McFarlane
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I pull her into me, “I’m so sorry.”
“But…” her voice is so small, so emotional my heart shatters, “But…”
“I know, shh,” I cradle her as she cries, holding back my own tears. When your child is in pain the first thing you want to do is take it away, make it stop but I can’t do anything. So, I just hold her, feeling the emotion wrack her little body.
“I’ll never see him again?” She cries the question.
“No baby,” I swallow the lump. “Not for a while.”
She cries hard, big, loud sobs that smash through me and makes it harder to stay strong for her. I didn’t give any details, just that daddy won’t be coming back. She didn’t understand at first but then she did, and I saw the moment it hit. I saw it in the way her little face morphed from confusion to devastation.
I’m tired, emotionally drained, and just tired.
Eventually, Ava cries herself to sleep, completely exhausted and I take her up to bed, tucking her in and kissing her for just a little longer than usual. When I’m sure she isn’t going to wake I head back downstairs and collapse onto the sofa. Tears don’t come I just sit in silence, my face in my hands.
Grace headed back to the hotel with the promise of coming over first thing in the morning and now I just feel alone.
A knock at the door turns my head and I glance at the clock. It’s gone eight and I can’t imagine Grace would have come back this late.
Warily, I open the door only to find Taron standing on the other side, his hands buried in his pockets.
I hadn’t realised just how much I needed him until exactly this moment and before I can think, I’m throwing myself at him, slamming my mouth on his.
He catches me, wrapping his strong arms around me.
Pulling him into the house I never break contact, keeping my mouth securely sealed to his, the need for him burning through my body at a hundred degrees.
“Penny,” he groans as I kick the door closed and my hands fall directly to the button of his jeans.
“I need you,” I beg, sensing his hesitation. “Please.”
“Shit,” He growls, letting me pull at the button until it opens and then my hands are climbing the ladder of his abs, revelling in the warmth of his body.
Lust barrels through me, heat settling between my legs as his mouth explores the column of my throat and then his teeth graze my collar bone, a sharp, delicious sting that only adds to the desire.
We don’t make it far. I have him stripped out of his shirt and jeans in no time and he pulls mine next, leaving me in just my underwear as he lowers me to the floor in the hallway, his body pressed against mine, grinding his erection into my core. Pleasure tightens my muscles but there’s too many clothes, too many layers between us. I reach between us and grasp his cock in my hand through the thin material of his boxers and his hips still, his eyes falling closed as his lips part on a groan.
I work him through the fabric but I want skin on skin so I slip my hand passed the waistband and grip him at the base, sliding my hand up the shaft until his chin hits his chest and he lets out a string of curses.
“Shit, I need you,” he growls suddenly, pulling my panties down my thighs. I don’t have any time to kick them off before he’s in me, pushing and stretching his way in until he’s buried so deeply, I feel him everywhere.
We groan in unison and then he’s moving. It’s not gentle but that’s okay, more than okay. With every slam of his hips my orgasm hitches closer to the surface and I lift my legs, securing them around his waist which just opens me up further.
“Like that,” I cry out, pushing my hips up as he quickens his pace, “Taron!”
“Fuck!” He growls, “Come with me, Penny.”
My name on his lips, hearing the strain, the raw pleasure breaks me and my climax rocks through me, my internal muscles clamping down on him and squeezing his release from him.
He buries his face into the crook of my neck, his hips twitching as he comes down from his own high.
We lay like that, a mess of tangled limbs as our breathing steadies. Taron lifts himself onto his elbows, staring directly down into my face. I see so much emotion there, so much care and affection. I’ve never been looked at the way he is looking at me right now. I’ve never been cared for or worried about, not like this. Not like, I’m the only thing that’s important right now.
My heart swells.
I thought I was falling in love with Taron, turns out, I’m already there.
“You should sleep,” He says gently, brushing my hair from my face.
“Will you stay?”
“I can’t,” he kisses me, “But I’ll stay until you’re sleeping.”
I nod and once he is off me, I climb up and pull my panties back on, leaving the rest of my clothes on the floor where they were discarded. I clean up and pull on a pair of shorts and a tank and then climb into my bed, Taron following me in after.
He pulls me to him, my back to his front and presses his face into my hair, snuggling in close. It’s terrifying how it feels so right. How all of a sudden, I couldn’t imagine myself without him.
His hand idly strokes up and down my arm, the touch feather light and I find myself getting sleepy, my eyelids getting heavier with each passing second.
I tune into the sound of his breathing, a steady rhythm that brushes against my neck. The thought that we didn’t use a condom barely registers, it’s not so much that I’m worried about getting pregnant, I’ve been on the pill since Ava was born but there’s something about the trust that comes with that.
I sink further into him, closing any space between us until all I feel is his body and his warmth.
Sleep wraps around my consciousness but just before it finally claims me, Taron kisses the shell of my ear and whispers.
“I love you.”
Forty
Taron
I don’t know if she heard me, she wasn’t supposed to, but I just had to say it. I’ve been screaming it in my head and my mouth was begging me to just let it out. It made sense to do it to her sleeping form, saves for potential rejection, right?
I slip from the bed, certain she’s asleep judging by the shallow, restful breathing, and relaxed state of her body. Stepping from the warmth into the cold of the room is torture but I have to relieve Rhett of babysitting duties as tempting as it is to stay in bed and sleep till morning.
I look down at her for a moment, taking a mental snapshot of her halo of golden hair and lashes that rest like half-moons against the apples of her cheeks.
Stepping quietly from the room, I tip toe across the hall and peer into Ava’s bedroom, stifling a laugh. They even sleep the same, head slightly tilted to the right, curled into a small ball that leaves so much room in the bed. Stuffed toys surround Ava’s small frame, but she holds one close to her chest, an elephant, I think.
Satisfied that both girls are content in sleep I head down and let myself out, making sure the door falls closed and locks behind me.
Rhett’s asleep on the couch when I finally make it back to the ranch. I shake his shoulder, letting him know I’m home.
He stetches out and yawns, “All good?”
I shrug, “For now.”
“What happened?”
I shake my head, “Not my place man. You wanna take the spare room tonight, it’s late.”
He nods his agreement and I head upstairs, stopping to lean on Ripley’s door frame, watching her sleep for a minute before going to bed myself.
_
Saturday mornings used to be sacred for me. The first morning of the week where I wasn’t up before the sun, the first day I could sit back and relax providing work would allow it so I used to sleep in and wake up whenever the hell I wanted. I’d roll out of bed and have a breakfast of coffee and then I’d lounge by the pool or watch sports on TV.
Now though, my Saturday mornings consist of waking up whenever Ripley decides it’s a good time, heading down to pour bowls
of lucky charms and orange juice and watching cartoons on TV. At least I still have coffee. After the late-night last night, my body is lagging behind this morning.
Rhett’s still in bed, well I assume he is based on the car still parked in my driveway.
“Is Penny happy today?” Ripley asks over her bowl of cereal.
“I don’t know baby,” I tell her honestly, “Maybe we should call her.”
She nods in agreement, “I think so.”
“Okay, after breakfast maybe we will give her a call. You can even speak with Ava.”
She starts to shovel in the cereal excitedly, barely chewing the first mouthful before spooning another into her mouth.
“Slow down, Ripley,” I tell her, raising a brow, “You’ll choke.”
She ducks her head sheepishly but slows down at least whilst I sip my coffee and scroll through the town bulletin on my phone.
God knows why we even have a bulletin, nothing ever happens in this town. It’s not even provided by a news channel, more like amateur or rookie journalists hoping to make it big.
I close down the page and peer out the kitchen window at the same time a familiar silver Wrangler pulls up next to Rhett’s.
My heart thumps in my chest as I see Penny climb from the car, dressed in a pretty floral dress, her hair whipping around her face in the wind. Her friend, Grace climbs out next, followed by Ava and Grace’s son.
“Looks like we won’t be calling her after all,” I tell Ripley, tipping my chin to the window.
Penny knocks gently and I have to cool myself down from jumping and scrambling to open the door as fast as possible.
Be cool.
Yeah right.
I’m the teenage boy who just bagged the cheerleader.
I shake out the excitement that’s flowing through me and then head to the door, pulling it open. Ava doesn’t wait, she runs passed me, followed by the much smaller boy and I chuckle, following them with my eyes.
Kids definitely weren’t part of my Saturday morning routine. Surprisingly, I don’t hate it.
“Good morning,” Penny says quietly.
“Oh, for goodness sake,” Grace rolls her eyes, “You’re worse than a bunch of kids. Good morning, Taron, mind if we come in?”
I’m shocked at her bluntness and yet I find myself pushing the door wider to accommodate and Grace steps in, tutting and shaking her head but there’s an amused smile on her mouth.
“Sorry about her, she’s a bit,” Penny tilts her head side to side, considering her next words, “She doesn’t have much of a filter, let’s just say.”
She steps up and gently presses her mouth to mine.
“Good morning.” She says.
“Good morning, darlin’,” I run my greedy hands down her curves and then round to her ass to have a quick grope before she steps into the house and we’re overrun by children. Her eyes widen as my fingers knead into her flesh but then she smirks and shakes her head.
“Behave,” she scolds lightly, stepping passed but not before she purposely rubs up against me. The touch sends a shot of desire straight to my cock. It hardens in my lose pyjama pants and I groan, taking a deep breath to steady myself. There’s no way I can go back into the kitchen with the current tent at my groin.
Penny chuckles, “Looks like a you problem.” She shrugs.
“It’s most definitely a you problem, darlin’.”
“Are you two coming or what?” I hear Grace holler from the kitchen.
“Yeah!” Penny calls back, giving me one final sultry smile before leaving me with a hard on at the door.
I hear her start an easy conversation with Grace in the kitchen, but I have to take a few minutes before I can join them, when I finally do my eyes go straight to Ava.
She looks sad this morning, even as she plays with Logan and Ripley. There’s a dullness to her eyes and her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. All I want to do is pick her up and cuddle her. It’s so strange.
I haven’t experienced an emotional pain with Ripley yet, with her mother, most of her grieving was done before she came to me. Sure, we still had the odd heart to heart, the odd tear but the pain, it was less now, easier to manage. Still didn’t make it easy. I still wanted to take it from her. Just take it all and hold it in myself so she didn’t have to feel that heartache and that’s how I feel about Ava. I want to take her pain. I see it so clearly etched into her face.
I can tell by the little furrow in her brow, in the small crease in her forehead, in the way, even though she smiles, the corners of her mouth are turned down with grief. If I could take it all, I would.
I go to her, setting myself down beside her and bumping my shoulder with hers, “Hey kiddo.”
“Hi Taron,” she smiles shyly, bumping my shoulder back.
“You okay?”
She doesn’t answer for a few seconds, “I feel sad.”
“That’s okay,” I tell her.
I feel Penny watching me, but I don’t turn to acknowledge it. For some weird reason, I need this with Ava. And I think she needs it with me too.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I talked with mommy.”
“I know, but do you want to talk to me about it?”
Now both women are watching me. Ava thinks about my question and then she nods her head subtly.
“Come on then,” I grip her hand and pull her up, “Let’s go talk.”
With her little hand in mine, she follows me through to the family room and sits shyly on the couch opposite me.
“Did you know daddy?” She asks.
“No kiddo,” I shake my head, “But I want to help you feel better. I know you’re sad, and really that’s okay, it is sad, but you know what?”
“What?”
“I know your daddy would be super proud of you.”
“Really?” Her eyes widen.
“Yes!” I exclaim, “How could he not be?”
She shrugs.
“Well, let me think,” I tap my finger on my lips, pretending to be deep in thought when the answer is so obvious. “You’re smart, like really smart. You’re polite, you’re kind, you remember when you helped Ripley on her first day of school?”
Ava nods.
“You’re going to be an amazing young lady, I just know it and that’s why he’s going to be proud of you. I’m proud of you, you know.”
“Are you?”
“Mm,” I nod, “I’m very proud to know you.”
She grins at me, a little light coming back to her eyes, “Daddy was bad sometimes, but I still loved him.”
Her comment catches me off guard and I can’t help the frown that tugs my brows down. Bad?
Ava isn’t the right person to ask and Penny is too closed off to answer my questions. I should let it go, kids say crazy things, right, so maybe it’s just one of them.
“I’m sure he loved you too.”
Suddenly everything I say feels weird. Wrong somehow. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
The way Ava smiles however, tells me that it was. This isn’t about me, or even Penny, it’s about her.
“Thank you,” She says to me and then to my surprise, she wraps her arms around me and cuddles me deeply.
“Anytime, kiddo.”
She skips from the room, but I stay on the couch, stumped by that one comment.
Daddy was bad sometimes…
What exactly did he do that made him bad?
Forty-one
Taron
Before I can join everyone back in the kitchen a solid hand wraps around my arm and I’m tugged backwards.
I stifle a string of curses as Rhett’s still sleep marred face comes into view, his blond hair mused.
“Who the hell is that in the kitchen?” He asks, eyes darting over my shoulder.
“What?” I run a hand down my face, Ava’s words still ringing in my head.
Daddy was bad sometimes…
“The dark-haired chick, who is she?”
�
�Grace,” I tell him, “Penny’s friend.”
“You could have warned me if you were inviting models round for breakfast!”
That snaps me out of it, and I laugh, “Models?”