Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Dark hair.
Fat cheeks.
Round head.
Tiny chest filling with oxygen.
Wiggly toes.
Mini fists that go straight into her mouth. Or try to.
Ryker coos down at her. Kade too.
Relaxing, I melt into the mattress and heave a sigh of contentment. The hardest part is done.
Snapping out of his enamored fog, Kade kicks into nurse action to examine our girl.
My eyes fall shut for a blip as the remnants of adrenaline drain from my system.
“Sweetheart,” Ryker pats my foot.
I pry one lid open.
“Yes?”
“You wanna hold her? I know I kinda stole her away. Should’ve given her to her mama first.”
With a lazy hand, I brush his words away. “She’s as much yours as she is mine.”
“Not really. But we’ll go with that.” He smiles, scooting closer to offer our babes to me. Careful not to drop her, I lay her on my chest. Testing to see if she’s hungry, I shift her to the side and tease her lips with my nipple. Instinctively, she opens right up. With a bit of adjusting, she latches on without a fuss.
Raking my fingers through her hair that needs to be washed, I watch her mow down on my breast.
Ryker shuffles up the bed to sit beside me. He fingers her belly button cord that’s still attached. Soon, I’m gonna birth the gross part, so they’re gonna have to cut that.
“Kade’s calling his friend.” Ryker lifts his chin toward the bathroom, where Kade’s voice carries from.
“Do you know this chick?”
“She’s one of the blondes he fools around with.”
“And she’s a midwife?”
Ryker shrugs. “If he says she is. She is.”
“Okay.”
A kiss lands on my temple, soft and lingering. “Love you. So damn proud of you,” my man murmurs to the skin there.
“Love you more.” I lean my head on his shoulder to rest.
Kade reenters the room, and endeavors to dig in his bag that rests at the foot of the bed where Ryker kicked it to reclaim his spot. He grabs some kind of string stuff and medical scissors from inside. Another pair of gloves are put on before he approaches.
“My friend’s on the way. But we’re gonna have to tie and cut the cord before she gets here. And you’re gonna be ready to deliver the placenta soon.”
“Right.”
“I’m really proud of you,” he comments as he knots the string around her umbilical cord.
“Thanks.” I reach up to squeeze his bicep to show some love.
“She’s really beautiful.”
“She is.”
“Like her mom,” Ryker nuzzles his nose to my hair, making my insides melty like ice cream on a hot summer day.
“What’s her name?” Kade asks out of nowhere.
“Lucy.” It’s the first time I’ve mentioned her name aloud to either of them.
“After?” Kade lines up the scissors and offers them to Ryker or me to snip.
“Lucille Ball,” Ryker chuckles heartily, passing on the opportunity to cut our daughter’s cord. “I caught her. I can’t steal this moment, too.”
“You do it,” I urge my bestie.
“You want me to… to cut…” Kade’s is shocked to his core if the bug-eyed expression he’s sporting is any indication. His bottom lip quivers.
Please don’t cry. I’ve witnessed enough crying today. He’s killing me here.
“I do. We do,” I reaffirm, keeping my emotions in check. Ryker drops another kiss, wordlessly giving his blessing.
“Oh. Um. Okay.” Not wasting another second Kade pinches the cord between two fingers and scissors through my daughter’s lifeline. As if that’s not enough, Kade’s Adam's apple bobs in his throat before he kisses Lucy on the forehead, then does the same to me.
“You’re never gettin’ rid of me. You’re mine for life,” he mumbles, pressing another tender peck to my skin. “Life.”
“Life,” I parrot the solemn vow.
Drawing back, quirking a tender smile, Kade snaps out of his emotional reprieve and reengages nurse mode. I rest in bed dozing in and out, my head on Ryker, snuggling, as my best friend takes care of everything. He checks my blood pressure. Examines me down below for bleeding. Helps me deliver the placenta, even though I’m beyond tired. After it’s placed in the bowl, he cleans me with room temperature washcloths. The gross towels are carted to the laundry and replaced with fresh ones. A clean sheet is strewn over my naked body. Somewhere along the way, Lucy nods off, my nipple falling from her mouth. Ryker puts a diaper on her tiny tushie, without removing her from my chest. It’s difficult paying full attention to the whirlwind of activity when I can barely keep my eyelids open. So I don’t.
“Sleep well, my little Tiger. Happy Valentine’s Day.” Is the last I register before succumbing to the bone-deep fatigue that whisks me into a sweet, sweet dreamscape full of sexy bald men and healthy newborn babies.
Seventeen
Kat
Rolling onto my side, sore and groggy, I wake with a start when I no longer feel Lucy on my chest. Fuck. My eyes spring open as I frantically pat around, searching for her. She’s… she’s nowhere to be found. Where’s my baby?
“Ryker! Ryker!” I croak, about to lose my shit, heart lodged in my throat.
A pungent floral aroma hits me hard, quickly followed by the familiar scent of pancakes and bacon. Noises, lots of them, carry from the front of the house into the bedroom through the open door.
A tiny less freaked than before, I reach for my glasses and slip them on. That’s when a burst of colors hits me tenfold. I soak in the staggering view of our bedroom. He did not. No freaking way! Lifting my glasses, I scrub my eyes before double checking this is indeed real. Sure enough, it is. There are hundreds, if not thousands of flowers in various vases and baskets covering nearly every square inch of our room. Roses, daisies, and tulips alike. If that wasn’t enough, there are stacks of… I cover my mouth, giggling like a giddy school girl. He did not do that, too. Sno Caps, boxes of them are stacked on the hearth. We’re talking at least fifty, possibly a hundred. Tilting my head back, downright overwhelmed by this romantic display, I glance heavenward to give my brain a chance to process. Heart shaped balloons in red, white, and pinks coat the entirety of the ceiling. This crazy fool has thought of everything. I must’ve slept like the dead, if he could accomplish all of this without me waking. Can’t say I wasn’t tired, but this is insane. Too much. He had to have planned this way in advance or bought out the entire store this morning when I was asleep.
I check the time.
Hell, it’s only nine. I didn’t sleep that long.
This was definitely premeditated.
Speaking of the devil, the man in question is wheeling himself through the door right now with a plate poised on his palm like a waiter.
“This is a lot.” Scooting up the bed, I gesture to the space, blanket tucked beneath my chin to maintain some modesty, in case the girls aren’t far behind.
“It’s Valentine’s Day, babe. The first one we’ve had together in years.”
Why do those words do funny things to my stomach? His sweetness rivals even my sexiest book boyfriends. And that’s saying something.
“I didn’t know we were doing gifts.” If I had, I would’ve gotten him chocolates or a card.
“We’re not. I am. Plus, you gave me a daughter. That’s the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten.”
“That’s not fair, Ryker. And I’ve given you three.”
He perches his fully dressed self on the edge of our bed. That t-shirt does little to hide the man candy underneath. Those abs… “Not on a holiday, you haven’t. And it’s totally fair. Valentine’s Day is… what?”
Lordy, not this crap again.
I suppress a silly eye roll, trying hard not to smile as well.
“A holiday for men to show their woman t
hat they care,” I drone, reciting the same words he pounded into my brain a decade ago.
“Yup, and to do this.” He sets a plate of heavenly scented scrumdidliumptiousness on my lap that contains his signature pancakes topped with a bacon heart and...
Wait.
Where’s the maple syrup?
Hold up.
What’s that in the center, poking out of the pancake?
No.
No way!
This isn’t happening!
Oh, my…
A hand gently clamps around my wrist, that’s shaking. Holy Mary mother of all that is hot and tattooed in the world… he’s…
“Will you marry me?” Ryker’s words permeate the air with growly hesitation, as I stare in a state of perpetual shock at the enchanting diamond that’s winking back at me.
Yes, I said winking.
The morning light streaming in through the windows is hitting the ring at just the right angle.
Inching a single trembling finger forward, I touch the princess cut gem a mere instant before I jerk my hand away as if it bit me.
“I… I… I dunno what to say.” Are those tears running rampant down my cheeks?
I swipe the back of my hand across my face. Sure enough, they are.
“Say yes,” Ryker suggests, humor marinating his tone.
Say yes. Say yes, to marrying Ryker. I never thought a moment like this would ever come where I could say yes. This is all too surreal.
Shaking my head to disconnect the gemstone stare down, I look to him, searching for the right words. “I just had a baby.”
Yep, boys and girls, apparently I have no brain to mouth filter.
Ryker smiles wide, all teeth and sexy charm. Eyes twinkling. “My baby.”
Blinking, I nod dumbly. “Right. Your baby.”
This is mortifying.
Just say it already, Kat.
“Who’s with her sisters, brother, uncle, and grandpas right now so I could do this.” He plucks the band from the fluffy hotcakes and doesn’t hesitate to slide it on my ring finger. It fits like a well-worn glove.
Way in over my head, I stare at it some more, on my finger, where it belongs. The butterflies in my belly are doing The Macarena. My lenses fog up from this torrential downpour happening on my face.
“Tiger, it’s alright.”
“It’s not,” I blubber, successfully ruining what could’ve been the most romantic proposal of all time.
Ryker carefully removes my glasses and uses our sheet to wipe my disastrous face. This isn’t how you’re supposed to look when you get engaged. I’m one hot mess while he… Sheesh. He’s always so damn yummy. It’s not fair that he gets to be that handsome every single minute of every single day.
“Why do you wanna marry me for anyhow?” I sniffle. He needs to be certain he knows what he’s getting into here. I’m not Vanessa, this isn’t a commitment he can make on a whim. Or take lightly. This is it. I’m it. Divorce is not an option. My heart couldn’t take it. Not after everything we’ve been through.
Cupping my jaw, Ryker leans in, his lips a hairbreadth from mine. “So I can kiss you anytime I fuckin’ want,” he rumbles planting a savory kiss that seals our union forevermore. My heart soars to the sky as I kiss him back. It takes but a moment for it to escalate to tongues and groans… to promises of more. Soon, I’ll marry my soulmate. Soon, I’ll be Mrs. Knox. Soon, our family will be bound by more than love and blood. This is it. This is my forever. It’s him. It’s always been him. As it was written in the stars.
Epilogue
Fourth of July – 5 months later
Standing on the sidewalk in front of my old house, I pause a long moment to reflect on the past six months as I stare at the porch where my future awaits. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, doesn’t it? Mine sure has. I’m now a mother to four flourishing children, I’m madly in love, I have the bestest, best friend a girl could hope for, and today I get to make it all official. I’m standing here in my wedding dress with my arm hooked through my father’s, as he patiently waits for me to make the trek up the walkway. To the porch, where our love story began all those years ago—when we were young and inexperienced. This is the same place I lost my virginity, had my first child and second. It’s also the first house I ever had my heart broken. So many memories began here. But it’s not the end for us. Simply a new beginning.
Two months ago when we placed my first real home on the market, my future husband suggested we get married here as a way to close an important chapter in our lives and start anew. Last week, we discussed it with the buyers. They were awesome about it. Not that they wouldn’t be. They’re friends of Big’s. So I know it’s going to be cared for long term. Texas is our home now. A place the girls and I want to stay for good. It’s where Ryker’s club is, as well as the exquisite cabin he built for us. The girls also love their school, even though it’s out for the summer. Red Fort is the ideal place to raise our children, surrounded by family who loves them, including their dad. Plus, the weather’s better in the south. It rarely snows.
Peering down at my white, knee-length dress, I grin privately at the all-white Chucks I wore for this special occasion. If Ryker was allowed to wear jeans, a t-shirt, boots, and his cut to marry me, I sure as hell wasn’t wearing the traditional wedding dress and heels. Instead, I found this delicate, well cared for beauty at a second-hand store. The sheer neckline and beaded bodice is what sold me on it. Kade, too. Who I dragged to half a dozen thrift stores until I found it. To me, getting married to your soulmate shouldn’t cost thousands of dollars. All you need is a handful of family and friends, a special place, and the man of your dreams. Today couldn’t be any more perfect.
On either side of the makeshift aisle, a sea of bikers and family alike cover the front lawn. There’s heaps of leather and denim to go around. Dickcheese stands beside the front steps as both my maid of honor and Ryker’s best man. Alongside him are our eldest daughters who insisted on wearing white dresses to match mine, as well as our special initial necklaces. Somewhere in the crowd, Bear’s caring for our infants, who I fed less than an hour ago so they’d be too tired to fuss.
This is it.
This is our time.
Finally.
Nodding once to Gunz that I’m ready for this, our makeshift DJ lifts his chin in acknowledgment and seconds later out pours Hopelessly Devoted To You: by Olivia Newton-John—a song that Ryker chose as my processional because he claims it encompasses my devotion to him like no other song can. I’d have to say I agree.
Side-eyeing Dad, I give him a playful nudge with my hip. “You ready to marry off your daughter?”
Nodding stiffly, he dashes a tattooed knuckle beneath each eye. The movement tears at my heartstrings.
“Dad, I’m not goin’ anywhere,” I reassure in the tenderest tone I can conjure, willing myself not to cry despite the momentous occasion.
Another stiff nod is his reply, as his throat works through a forced swallow.
Pressing my glossed lips together, I take a fortifying breath before squaring my shoulders and powering through one of the most important days of my life.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
Each step we make side by side is another toward the man of my dreams. Gathering the courage, I lift my gaze to meet Ryker’s. His blue eyes glued to me, rimmed in red. Unshed tears swim in the penetrating depths. This isn’t fair. He can’t cry, too. There’s only so much I can withstand. He has to stop. I don’t wanna ruin my makeup that the Sacred Sisters took ages to perfect. The smoky eye won’t be smoky anymore, if I can’t keep these bubbling emotions in check.
A lone tear treks down his left cheek.
One of mine follow.
Dammit.
Please don’t let messy eye makeup ruin the wedding photos. We’re only doing this once.
Step by slow step, the music serenades our approach. Though the words don’t penetrate through the erratic pulse whooshing through my e
ars. My fingers tremble around the tiny bouquet of flowers clutched in my hand. Between one blink and the next, we’re standing at the bottom of the stairs. Down saunters my confident lover to join us.
Offering his upturned palm to me, Ryker clasps my dad’s shoulder with the other. They exchange a stern look of understanding and respect.
“Love you, peanut.” Dad pecks my cheek with shaky lips, then trades me off. Nervous as all get out, I forget to respond in kind as my dainty hand slips into a much larger one that encases mine in damp comfort.
Thrum, thrum, thrum, my heart hammers wildly.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Ryker’s infinitely considerate as he escorts me to the top of the porch one stair at a time no matter how long it takes my nervous feet to move.
Face to face, eyes locked as one, Ryker tugs the bouquet from my death grip and throws it to his brother. I’m too preoccupied with him to care what happens to the flowers. I didn’t wanna carry them anyhow.
To comfort me further, my trembling hands are clasped between his. I shoot my Asshole a weary smile, chock-full of nerves. He returns the sentiment with an adoring grin and an air blown kiss.
My heart leaps sky high trying to catch the affection.
Our officiant, Big Dick, clears his throat to gather everyone’s attention. The noise dies immediately, and Gunz shuts off the music.
“We are gathered here today to witness Kat and Ryker in holy Sacred Sinner matrimony.”
The crowd of bikers respond with a round of hardy grunts and fuck yeahs.
“When Ryker approached me last month to marry them, I was honored to join such a badass woman and loyal brother for this ride in life. So without further ado, do you Kat take Ryker to be your old man ‘til he’s put to ground?”
Swallowing the growing lump in my throat, I will my tears to stay away. “I do,” I announce with fierce conviction, head held high.
Our guests howl their approval. Motorcycle engines rev in celebration.
Ryker beams a Colgate smile and lifts both of my hands to his mouth. Not giving a shit what anyone thinks, he kisses my knuckles one by one as those soulful eyes bore into mine, expressing a million words in a tender heartbeat.
HOPE TRILOGY BOX SET: Sacred Sinners MC- Texas Chapter Page 61