Korinna nodded, holding her hands up, but the figure in the chamber’s center soon made her forget about the many points that were threatening her. He sat in a high-backed, stone throne that grew up naturally from the ground in jagged, angry points. Lip curled into a snarl and boring holes into the man that stood before him with eyes dark as pitch, Ares, god of war, held the man’s gaze, and he roared, “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”
CHAPTER XII
A soldier stood in the chamber’s center in a torn tunic, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, dried blood smeared on his armor, and he held a dented helmet under one arm. “Your Greatness, we have lost many.”
Ares, god of the untamed and insatiable lust of men to strike down their brother, threw himself back against his chair and howled, “Oh, come on!”
“Sir, we are just,”—the man hesitated—“just following your orders.”
Ares closed his eyes and tilted his head back, long, unkempt hair falling away from wide shoulders. His bare chest rose and fell with three long breaths, and he pinched a crooked nose. Finally, he flung a hand out and snapped twice, and a guard hurried to his side, handing him a bit of parchment and a thin piece of charcoal. He pulled the guard toward him and scribbled furiously on the parchment up against the man’s helmet before knocking the man back to his position beside the throne, then thrust the note out toward the soldier.
With a shaking arm, the soldier scurried up to take it and quickly backed away. He looked over the parchment for a moment, then back up. “Sir?”
As if bored already, Ares droned, “What?”
“Well, what…what does it say?”
His voice was a growl as he leaned forward, rough jaw jutting out, fire leaping in his eyes, “What do you mean what does it say? It’s a picture! It doesn’t get much clearer!”
“I can see that, but,”—he brought the parchment close to his face—“What is this man doing to this other man?” He squinted then looked back to the god. “Sir, I don’t think we have time for this, and frankly no one’s getting along well enough to f—”
“No!” The god burst from his throne and marched down to the soldier, ripping the parchment from his hands. “It’s two guys. One’s our guy—the one with the spear—and that’s their guy, getting stabbed with the spear!”
The soldier quivered in the god’s shadow. “Okay, so what…what are you wanting me to convey to the generals?”
“Stab them!” He threw the parchment into the soldier’s face. “Fight harder! Kill the bastards! Win for Me’s sake!”
“Yes!” The soldier fumbled with his helmet, slipping it on amidst the god’s roars. “Yes, sir!” He turned and fled past Korinna and Nikeros and out through the tunnel.
Turning back to his throne, Ares addressed no one in particular and yet the entire chamber at once, “I’m surrounded by worthless idiots! If I have to look at one more weak, pathetic mortal today, I’m going to rip their feeble little head off and shove it up their epically incompetent ass!”
The guard who had ushered them inside gave Korinna a poke, pushing her toward the center of the chamber. She whipped around and glared at him, but his stoic look did not change. There was no getting out of this.
“Who in Tartarus are you?”
Korinna froze under Ares’s words, afraid to look back at him. Maybe if she didn’t move, he wouldn’t see her. With a hard swallow, Korinna glanced at Nikeros, but he just nodded at her to go on. She shook her head while trying to keep it still, and he nodded again with increasingly narrowed eyes. She raised a brow at him, pleading with her eyes, but he only yanked his head harder in the god’s direction.
“The prisoners,” either Deimos or Phobos announced to the room from somewhere in the shadows. Korinna cringed and turned back to him, offering a little wave.
“Prisoners?” Ares screwed his face up. “When did we take them? And why?”
“To lure Andreas of Theopopolis here, Your Magnificence.”
“Oh, that guy?” The god winced. “By Father, I hate that guy. Always walking around like he’s so great, praising Athena, ripping off heads with his bare hands. I came up with that, you know!” He pounded his chest and the guards at his side nodded vigorously. “But does he show any gratitude for me? The god of war? No! Nothing! You know what we should do? We should go kidnap his girlfriend, make him come after her, and then we should sick a hydra on him or something!”
“That’s a, uh, genius idea, sir,” Deimos or Phobos stuttered, “Just as genius as when you had it last moon. So, here she is.”
“You’re that idiot’s girlfriend?”
Korinna jumped at his booming voice, then plastered on a smile, laughing nervously at herself, “Not exactly…”
“Morons!” Ares boomed, and both Deimos and Phobos’s figures flew through the chamber toward the god as if pulled by some unseeing force. A neck ended in each of the god’s barrel hands, and their faces contorted into an entire host of horrors ending in near-suffocation.
“It’s not their fault!” Korinna took an instinctive step toward him, her hands outspread, something like sympathy taking her, then she noted what she had done and added, “Uh, Your, um, Belligerent-ness?”
He dropped the demigods, and they crumpled against the dais, gasping for air. “Then whose fault is it?”
Korinna’s eyes widened and she glanced at Nikeros, sympathy quickly fleeing for dread.
“Hey, aren’t you one of my kids?”
“Uh, no.” Nikeros finally broke his silence with a plastered-on smile taking a step up next to Korinna. “You are likely thinking of one of my brothers.” He squinted at the demigods on the dais then back up to Ares. “One of my other brothers.”
“Right, the winged kids.” Ares sat back, a hand to his chin. His ire seemed to be quelled suddenly, though his face was changing in a way that was very worrying as he pointed at the girl. “That still doesn’t explain you.”
“Well, he’s an Erote.” Korinna blew out a long breath, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she felt the words pour out of her. “And he was sent by Aphrodite to help me even though that’s not at all what I prayed for, but it’s what I got, and you know what they say: the gods have Enigmatic Methods, and hah, oh, look who I’m telling that to! You know all that! Anyway, he’s helping me, so he kinda shot Andreas with this arrow that makes him think he’s in love with me, and it’s actually kinda funny if you think about it because I’m not so sure Andreas even likes—”
“Mortal.” Ares stood from his throne, his figure larger than even Andreas’s. “Did you say Aphrodite?”
She nodded quickly, keeping her mouth shut as Ares leered down at her. He took in a long breath, puffed up his chest, and looked as though he would begin screaming once more, but instead his gaze wandered past them and into some abyss none of them could see.
The chamber was silent. The guard holding them at spear point lowered his weapon. Another nervously shifted while yet another pretended to be very interested in an imaginary fly that had just buzzed in.
Ares grunted, “Everyone out.”
Korinna took a careful step backward.
“Except you two.”
The soldiers filed out of the chamber and down the tunnel, their footsteps fading away. Even Deimos and Phobos floated by them miserably, and in spite of herself, Korinna was upset to see them go. Her mind raced. Was this it? Did the sacrifice even matter? Was she just going to die here, at the hands of an angry Olympian because she had somehow become the symbol of his baby mama? She squeezed her eyes shut and tensed her body, waiting for the fatal blow.
But instead, the chamber’s silence was broken with a sniffle. Carefully, she pried one eyelid open. Ares sat crumpled on his throne, his massive form now a shell of itself, turned inward and heaving. The god of war was crying.
Korinna raised her hands at Nikeros and mouthed silently, What do we do?
The Erote cocked his head, pity on his face, then he gestured to the god.
K
orinna pointed at herself, then at Ares, then shook her head. She pointed at Nikeros, then at Ares, and nodded.
Nikeros made a pained face and mouthed, Not a good idea.
She snarled at him, her voice barely a whisper, “You’re the demigod of love. This is kinda your thing, isn’t it?”
He sighed, “I’m also Aphrodite’s son with someone else.”
She bit her lip. “Shit.”
Korinna picked her way over the craggy floor and up the dais. She looked upon the god’s colossal form now buckled and broken into a little pile on the seat. He was pathetic, really, and she tapped one of his bulky shoulders. “There, there.”
The god took in a deep breath and let out a sob that shook the entire chamber. Ares’s war hounds trotted up to either side of him and dropped their heads into his lap, but this only proved to make his body wrack harder with sorrow.
“Oh, gods, okay.” Korinna leaned down and tried to get her face near his. “Hey, it’s going to be all right, buddy.” She had no idea if, indeed, it would be all right (she had no idea what it even was), but the words seemed like the kind of thing one should say.
“No, it’s not!” he blubbered, burying his face into his hands, “Just when I thought the war might really turn around she told me she doesn’t want to see me anymore! What, is she disappointed the Spartans are losing? They’re doing their best, you know!” He looked up at her with bleary red eyes, a bubble of snot popping at the end of his nose.
“I know!” Korinna awkwardly pat his elbow even though she did not, in fact, know at all. “I don’t really think she cares about war though.”
“Why?” he sniffled, “What did she say?”
“Oh, nothing,” Korinna stammered, “I just assumed.”
“This is all that ugly bastard Hephaestus’s fault!” Ares clenched his jaw, his brow heavy over fiery eyes, rimmed red with tears. “I can’t believe she’d choose him over me! Me! I’m the god of war and he’s just a big, dumb blacksmith!”
Korinna glanced back at Nikeros who shrugged, then she looked back to Ares. “Is that what she said?”
“Yes!” Ares collapsed again but this time into Korinna who would have tumbled backwards from the blow if not for the god squeezing her tightly about the waist and crying into her stomach. She found herself trapped in the god’s arms as he rocked side to side, and slowly, carefully, scrupulously, she placed hands on his shoulders and gave him a little rub. “I just love her so much!”
Korinna made a face no one could see. If this was love, she wanted no part of it.
“Stupid Zeus,” the god mumbled into her chiton, “If he didn’t make her get married none of this would have happened!”
“Wait, what?” Korinna pulled back. “He made her get married?”
“Yeah, we were fighting over her, but I know she would have chosen me!”
She frowned. “That doesn’t sound very fair.”
“I know, right?” Ares sat up straighter, wiping at his eyes and clearing his throat. “He’s a bully.”
Korinna tried to ignore the irony and instead took a long look at him. “I’m really very sorry,” she told him as sincerely as possible, “I wish there were something I could do.”
“Actually…” The god sat back, his eyes darting around the room. “There is something.”
“Oh.” Korinna took a step back toward the edge of the dais. “I mean, I was kinda just saying things—”
“I have a gift for her.” He reached around to the back of the throne. “She’s refusing to see me though. Perhaps if you bring it to her?” He held out a box, the weight of his brow suddenly lifted, his bleary eyes wide, and even his mouth was drawn into a cautious smile.
Korinna considered the gift for a moment, then squinted. “The only way I can get to her is if you let me and my friend go. You know that, right?”
“Of course!” He pressed the box into her hands. “Please. I know I can win her back. Once she sees this, all I will have to do is challenge my brother for her hand.”
“Oh, I don’t really think—”
“I will fight him!” He stood suddenly, clenching a fist at his side. “And I will kill him.”
“Can you even do that?”
“Beat Hephaestus? Of course! Do you question the greatness of the god of war?”
“No!” Korinna scurried backward off the dais to where Nikeros stood. The demigod was practically boring holes through her with his eyes but said nothing. “It’s just, like, can you guys even die?”
“You’re right.” Ares paced before his throne before his face lit up and he stood triumphant. “Instead, I shall rip off his balls!”
Nikeros took a swift step behind Korinna, and she rolled her eyes. “That sounds like a great plan. So, can I—”
But at that moment, the cave rumbled with a booming screech, and rocks dislodged themselves from the walls, throwing dust up into the air. Ares stood straight, his hounds springing to attention.
“What was that?”
Ares grunted, “The hydra.” Korinna glared up at him, her fists on her hips. “I forgot about that.”
CHAPTER XIII
Wait a minute, this is the hydra?
Yeah, I figured Ares would try to kill off Andreas with some kind of monster.
But Heracles killed the hydra.
Well, it’s not that hydra, it’s just a hydra.
There’s only one hydra, and Heracles and Ioleus killed it. Korinna and Nikeros aren’t exactly the two of them, are they? And anyway, be more original than that! Hydras are a little hackneyed, don’t you think?
I mean, I wouldn’t call it hackneyed exactly, but—
Does it have a lot of heads?
Well, yeah.
And when you chop one off, do two grow in its place?
…maybe?
And when they find that out is it going to be a huge obstacle until one of them, probably Korinna, figures out they have to cauterize the necks to finally kill it?
You know what? I don’t like you very much.
Aw, same. So what kind of monster is this going to be instead? You’ve got a whole host of beasties to choose from.
Well, okay, I was also thinking about something like Scylla with—
Lots of heads? Wow, you’re ridiculously original.
Geez, all right, what about a griffin?
Too likable. People think you can just bow to them and fly off into the sunset now.
A cyclops?
Oh, my gods, rude! Vision impairment is a disability, you know. Haven’t they been through enough?
Okay, okay, fine! It’s just a thing, okay? A monstrous, scary, fanged, clawed, single-headed, thing.
Good enough.
Korinna looked up at The Thing as all her bravery drained away and her stomach completed a full loop. She could barely catch her breath from the sprint to the mouth of the cave from Ares’s chamber, and now The Thing took the rest of it away. It dripped with the waters from which it had slithered on taloned feet, and its hiss echoed off the chamber walls gutturally. Beyond it, she could see the comparably tiny figure of Andreas standing amongst the rocks at the cave’s mouth, the sun setting behind him on the ocean’s horizon. He’d made it, and just in time to fuck everything up.
The beast hovered over him, and he held his sword aloft, pointing at the creature and shouting something undoubtedly heroic and equally moronic, not that there was much of a difference. At his side stood a small host of archers, drawing their bows with shaking arms and holding steady, waiting for their commander’s word.
“Call it off!” Korinna shouted at Ares from their ledge at the back of the cave.
“Uh, well, about that…” Ares scratched the back of his head and winced. “It doesn’t exactly do what I say.”
“Excuse me?” Korinna stomped. “You’re a god!”
“My love!” Andreas’s voice carried over the pit of murky, black water, and he pounded his chest. “Fear not for I will save you from the grip of this horrendous abomina
tion!”
The creature made a small sound then, a sort of questioning grunt in the back of its throat, and glanced back at Korinna, dropping its brow over two—no, four eyes that shimmered red like smithy fire. It threw its single head back at Andreas and let out a roar that shook the cave.
“Fire!”
The arrows were loosed, sailing through the air and set straight for the beast in a flurry of black. Each hit its mark along The Thing’s neck with a squish and then promptly bounced off and sunk into the depth of the pool.
“Shit.” Korinna looked to Nikeros. “What do we do now that mister I-can-make-demigods-float-but-can’t-talk-to-The-Thing has proved himself useless?”
Nikeros was staring down at his own bow deflated. “Well, I suppose we allow Andreas to do exactly what he was born to do and save you.”
The Thing reared up, and all but one of the archers scattered from the spot where Andreas stood firm. With a howl and a snort, it focused on them with maybe like eight eyes this time, and came down with an open mouth, fangs poised to sever whatever they touched. At the last moment, Andreas jumped to the side and The Thing crashed down onto the rocks, taking out a chunk out of the landscape and managing to piss itself off even more.
Andreas laughed, “Terrible beast, you shall never separate me from my true love!”
Korinna recognized the remaining archer, the thin and tall Diocles, and though he looked petrified, he stood by his friend, even as The Thing raised a massive, spiked tail from the depths, showering them all with stagnant water before slamming it down onto the rocks between them. Diocles was thrown from his spot into the pool while Andreas kept sturdy footing beside where the dent had been made.
Korinna searched the water for the man. They’d sailed here, so surely he could swim, but before his head popped back up, there was another splash as Andreas leapt in. Now both men were under, and the creature threw itself into hysterics on the bank.
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