“I win!” A feminine voice shook the cave. In an explosion of pink and lavender blossoms, Aphrodite’s form appeared suddenly before them. She clapped as she jumped around in a joyous circle, her endowments and her curls bouncing. “Suck it, Athena, suck it, Apollo, and suck it, Hera!” She was shouting despite that the other gods were not there. She came up to Korinna and shoved a finger in her face and then Nikeros’s. “You got adelphi psychi-ed, and you got adelphi psychi-ed. Even those monsters got some! Everybody got adelphi psychi-ed!” The goddess sighed and spun around. “Oh man, I really thought you two were going to fuck it up at the end there too, but nope! Again, Aphrodite proves herself to be the best matchmaker in all of Gaia. And best of all, Theodotus is mine!”
“How did you win?” Korinna found herself asking, “You didn’t even have a suitor competing.”
Aphrodite tapped her head. “Oh, didn’t I?” The goddess’s eyes flicked over to Nikeros and then back to the mortal. When they said nothing, she clicked her tongue against her teeth. “I knew who your soul mate was all along, sweetheart, and I knew all I had to do was put him in your path, so I got the others to play a little game that made the two of you spend as much time together as possible.”
“She did take me off another task,” Nikeros said, “And she told me this was a really special case, and I should—”
“—expect things to not go exactly as planned!” Aphrodite interrupted with an elated squeal, “See, Enigmatic Methods, baby, yeah! High five!” She threw her hand up to the person beside her who just so happened to be the god of war himself, then froze.
“Hey, Di,” he managed in a slightly wavering voice.
Composing herself, the goddess of love straightened. “Hello, Ares.”
Ares kicked at an imaginary rock. “Did you get that thing I sent you?”
“Yes,” she answered stoically then reached into the neckline of her chiton, revealing the slightest hint of a jewel hanging there, “It’s very nice.”
His face lit up when he saw it, then he wiped at his mouth and tried to play it off. “Well, ya know, I had a whole city burnt to the ground to get it, but it’s nothing really.”
Aphrodite blinked up at him. “Oh, well, if it’s nothing.” She tucked it back into her dress.
“I mean, uh,” he stuttered, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot is all, and…” His voice trailed off as she closed the space between them.
The goddess ran fingers up his arm and into his hair. “Me too.”
Nikeros stuck out his tongue and turned back to Korinna. She was grinning at him, and she knew she must have looked as stupid as he always did. “I must admit,” he told her, “I’m a little surprised that none of your plans really worked out.”
“Excuse me?” She scowled. “I’m not dead, Simone’s not dead, and I’m not stuck with any of those idiots. I think I did pretty good.”
The Erote gave her an amused look. “Yeah, but, I mean, you still ended up at the bottom of this pit as a virgin sacrifice.”
“Well,”—she smirked—“Who says I’m not still working on my original plan?” And she kissed him again.
CHAPTER XLIII
And then what happened?
Well, and then they actually did live happily ever after, of course.
That’s all?
Oh, Aphrodite did actually win. The other gods backed off, and the blessing that was Theodotus’s future came to be in the goddess of love’s sensual hands. Unfortunately, when she took him back to her palace and revealed herself to him, he couldn’t quite handle it and went a little mad—as one does—but not before she managed to conceive, so good for her, I guess.
That’s nice, but I what about everybody else?
Well, Korinna and Nikeros didn’t run off and get married right away—there wasn’t any rush—but they did take a little time for a proper honeymoon of sorts, which resulted in neither of them fearing sacrifice any time going forward. With that in mind, though, Korinna called on Ares one more time to appear to the people of Zafolas and explain that the sacrifice of virgins, or anyone at all, wasn’t necessary; they just had to take care of the crops. He was hesitant, and convinced the mortals wouldn’t really take advice from the god of war in regard to wheat, but it all worked out (mostly due to an endorsement by Simone, who had been promoted to high priestess due to her selflessness and bravery), and none of the mortals even questioned why “Demeter” was sporting a goatee.
And what about the suitors?
Oh! Right, well, Korinna and Nikeros went to visit Daphne and the baby, Elpida, and stopped in to see how Alanis was doing too. As Korinna passed by Alanis’s private chambers she noticed something amiss and peeked in to find all three statues lined up against the far wall.
“What are these doing in here?” she called out into the pottery barn (not that—well, you know).
“What, those?” Alanis answered haughtily, “Well, they’re just some work one of the sculptors did, I suppose, but they’re no one special, and they’re not to order anyway.”
Korinna twisted her head around at the woman, aghast that the gods had left the suitors in such a state, but honestly not surprised. After a bit of calling into the void, all three gods showed up, and though they were annoyed, corrected their mistake. The suitors all shook themselves out, rubbing stiff joints and stretching long-stuck limbs. Alanis was horrified at what transpired and fled from the room.
“Remove me from this place and pluck out my eyes!” Calix was quick to shout and Andreas and Erepho agreed with enthusiasm.
Hermes came one last time to return Calix to his home, as he admitted he missed the love of his wives terribly, and Erepho to Rome as he admitted he missed the love of complete strangers terribly. When Korinna asked Andreas what he missed, the warrior got a far-off look in his eye and touched his chest lightly.
“Diocles,” she whispered to Nikeros, as Andreas loaded himself and the Sword of Teethis into the cart.
When they watched the rams take off, Nikeros put an arm around Korinna. “I was concerned we might have a problem since the arrows hadn’t completely worn off of Andreas yet. He was still glowing a little.”
“Oh?” she giggled.
“But the bonds of friendship must have been strong enough to take him home.”
“Wow.” She was looking over at him as he smiled after the cart. “You really are dumb.” When his mouth creased with a frown, she explained, “I think Andreas already has an adelphi psychi.”
As Nikeros’s eyes widened, he looked back at her with that stupid grin that she loved. “This really turned out to be my most successful mission yet.”
Korinna planted a kiss on his cheek.
And then of course there were the Moirai who happily saw that their beautiful, horrifying Knot had worked itself out, and one of the threads involved had even mended itself, much to Atropos’s complete bewilderment. The tapestry of life was finally looking acceptable enough to be on display. It wasn’t perfect, but then perfection was an abstract concept, and even the Moirai understood that.
And the cat?
And Rutherford lived happily ever after too.
The Korinniad is a self-published work which means there is no fancy publishing house or marketing team to get the word out, so if you enjoyed this book, please consider reviewing it on Amazon or letting people know on social media.
For more work by A. K. Caggiano, please visit:
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Thank you, Dear Reader, I hope this brought you joy.
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The Korinniad Page 24