Last and Forever

by Brooke, Rebecca

  I examined the bare walls and empty mantle. From an outsider’s perspective it looked like a bachelor pad that I’d been too lazy to decorate. But I didn’t want Chloe growing up in such a sterile environment. She deserved to see pictures of her mother on the walls and mantle. Things that would make this house feel more like a home.

  I must have been quiet too long. Lexi wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “If you’re not ready or don’t want to do it, that’s okay. I just figured that yesterday was a good start and hearing you slept through the night last night, I don’t see how it could hurt.”

  I turned to face her. Her blue eyes sparkling. “I was just thinking that it was time. Chloe deserves to see pictures of our family, of her mom hanging on the walls.”

  She smiled. “Then you don’t mind that I came over?”

  “Mind?” I shook my head. “Not at all. I’m actually really glad you did. I don’t think I can do this by myself. But I really need to do it.”

  “I pinky promised you yesterday that I’d be here and I will be.” She reached for the bag on the table. “Here, eat. Then we can get started.”

  After a delicious egg and bacon on a bagel, I led Lexi down the hall to the spare bedroom. I didn’t venture in there often as that was where I kept everything of Christine’s that I still had.

  I sucked in a deep breath, steadying myself before pushing open the door. Boxes upon boxes were stacked all throughout the room. Most filled with things that were too painful to unpack when we came back to Westlake.

  Lexi walked through the door and stopped short. “Wow, that’s more than I expected.”

  “I didn’t have it in me to unbox any of it. If we didn’t need it day to day, I left it in here.”

  She looked at boxes, then back at me. “Do you know what’s in them? Are they labeled?”

  A heavy sigh slipped past my lips. “Unfortunately not.”

  “Then why don’t we go through one box at a time. See what you want to hang up or keep and what you don’t need.”

  I reached for the one closest to me. “Let’s take it in the living room where we can make multiple piles.”

  “Good idea.”

  We went back down the hall. I set the box on the coffee table and held my breath as I pulled on the tape that held it closed. Who knew what the movers had packed in each box?

  Bubble wrap lay on the top. I moved it to the side to find all the things that used to sit on top of Christine’s dresser.

  Perfumes, her jewelry box, and even the framed photo of us on the beach during our honeymoon. Lexi picked up the photo.

  “She was beautiful.”

  “Yeah, she was.”

  I ignored the photo. While it wasn’t one I planned on getting rid of, it wasn’t one I planned on putting on display either. I knew there were plenty of photos that were worthy of the walls of my house. This one was a memory I wanted to keep for myself.

  I set the photo to the side and picked up the jewelry box. “I know Christine would want Chloe to have this someday.”

  “Okay. Then we’ll make a pile of things for Chloe that you can put away somewhere for her.”

  Lexi reached back into the box, taking it out piece by piece. The perfumes went into a pile to get rid of. No one would wear them and for now, the scent of them made my chest ache. Not as badly as I expected. Lexi being here had a lot to do with that. Having a friend like her to help go through things that had the chance to wreak absolute havoc on my mental state got me through the first box without any major trauma.

  “Let’s grab another one.”

  One by one we brought boxes to the living room, sorting the items in them into different piles. The piles ended up back in boxes, depending on where they were headed. The one to be donated we loaded into Lexi’s car and Chloe’s box of things were put into the top of her closet, where I could reach it when she was ready for them.

  With the trash at the curb, there were two piles left. The one I wanted to pack away for me and the things I wanted to put around the house.

  When my stomach started to growl, we stopped and ordered Chinese.

  “Think you’re ready to put these things on the walls?” Lexi put her chopsticks inside the empty container.

  I shoved the last bite into my mouth and took a swig of water before answering. “Yeah. We can’t keep living in a house that resembles a bachelor pad.”

  Lexi glanced around with a smirk on her lips. “If this resembles a bachelor pad, I’m going to argue that you’ve never lived in one. It looks more like a show house to sell.”

  I laughed. “I guess the closest I ever got to a bachelor pad was living with Miles before I moved in with Christine.” My chest tightened a bit.

  “Have you talked to him?”

  I shook my head. “Not in months. Every time we talk they want to know when I’ll be back.” I shrugged. “I guess none of them want to admit that I’m really not coming back.”

  “Ever?”

  “Ever.” I placed my own container below hers and picked them up to take back to the kitchen, needing to do something besides sit there. “What good am I to them if I can’t play?”

  “Maybe someday.” I heard her say, but I chose to ignore it.

  She’d given up her weekend to help me and I wouldn’t shove that back in her face by being an asshole. I knew there was no way I’d ever go back to music. Eventually the people in my life would accept it for what it was.

  I came back out of the kitchen and found her sitting on the couch, going through the things I wanted on display.

  “Ready?”

  She looked up at me with a smile. “Yep. Let’s make this place feel more like a home.”

  For the next few hours we debated on where to hang or place each thing. The pile growing smaller and smaller until there were only two things left—our wedding picture and Christine’s framed diploma.

  I reached for the wedding picture. “I know where to put this.” I carried it to the mantle on the fireplace and put it front and center.

  “How about putting the diploma on the office wall, next to where we put yours?”

  “I think that’s perfect.”

  I followed her down the hall and watched as she hung Christine’s diploma next to mine.

  She stepped back, placing her hands on her hips. “Perfect.”

  I opened my mouth to say something when I heard voices in my living room.

  “Aiden? Are you home?”

  Lexi’s gaze moved to mine. “Who’s that?”

  “It’s Carla, Chloe’s grandmother.” I gestured toward the door. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

  We walked out into the living room and found Carla and Jim looking at all the pictures that now adorned the walls. When Carla realized I was standing there, she turned to face me.

  “I’m so glad to see you finally got all of this out of storage.”

  “Me too. A friend told me it was time.”

  At the mention of friend, Carla’s gaze moved over my shoulder where Lexi stood a few steps behind me.

  I moved farther into the room, giving no choice but to follow. “Carla. Jim. I want you to meet one of my best friends from childhood, Lexi Watson. She helped save Zeus weeks ago, then helped me go through everything that had been sitting in the spare room.”

  Carla gestured around the room. “You got him to do all of this?”

  Lexi gave a non-committal shrug. “I just told him it was time to stop hiding from her memory.”

  Carla’s eyes blurred. “I can see why you’re friends. It’s nice to know my grandbaby will be able to see pictures of her mommy.”

  “Every day.” The back of my throat burned as I tried to say more.

  Carla handed Chloe over to me. “She’s been such a good girl this weekend. I wish we could stay longer, but our flight is in a few hours.”

  “Hi, sweetheart. Did you have a good weekend with Grammy and Grampy?” She smiled and grabbed at the collar of my T-shirt. I glanced back at Carla and Jim. “
Do you want me to drive you to the airport?”

  Carla shook her head. “We’ve got to return the rental car anyway.” She leaned up on her toes and pressed a kiss to my cheek, then another to Chloe’s. “We’ll miss you both.”

  I could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. Jim must have seen it the same time I did. He came up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. He held his free hand out to me.

  “Until next time.”

  “Anytime you want to come out, let me know.”

  He dipped his head. “Keep the pictures coming.”

  I nodded. “You can count on it.”

  My own breath caught in my throat as Jim turned Carla toward the door. I moved my focus to Chloe, reminding myself that I had her. Her little grin warmed my heart.

  “See you soon,” I called out when they reached the door.

  The both waved and closed the door behind them. Lexi stood next to me simply watching. Something about having her there gave me strength I thought I’d lost.

  I turned to face her. “Thank you for helping me.”

  Chloe started to fidget in my arms. I thought she might be hungry or want to get down, until I noticed her reaching for Lexi. I brought her closer.

  “This is my friend Lexi. Can you say hi?”

  Chloe gave her a big old smile, then reached her hands out for Lexi to take her. Lexi glanced at me then back at Chloe.

  “Go ahead.” I held Chloe out to Lexi and she immediately went into her arms. “Guess she’s not shy around you.”

  Lexi’s brows drew together as she lifted Chloe higher up on her hip. “Is she normally shy?”

  “Around new people she is.”

  “Well, I’m not exactly new. She met me when you brought Zeus to my office.”

  “Yeah, but that was just a few minutes.”

  Chloe tugged on Lexi’s hair. Lexi gently loosened Chloe’s grasp. “You like long hair? I’m surprised Daddy doesn’t have long hair.”

  I scoffed. “You can imagine me with long hair?”

  A giggle slipped past her lips. “Nope. Just wanted to see what you’d say.”

  I chuckled. “Very funny. Aren’t you the comedian?”

  She winked at me. “Made you laugh, didn’t I?”

  The laughter died on my lips. She had a point. I hadn’t laughed in a long time, but it felt really good. When Chloe started to fidget again, Lexi handed her back to me, but she wasn’t interested in being in my arms either. She had her sights set on her play area in the corner. I set her down and went back to try and thank Lexi again.

  “I don’t know how to repay you for helping me today.”

  “We’re friends. You don’t have to repay me, but you can hang out with me sometime this week. We need to get you out of this house at least once a week so you realize there’s still life out there.”

  “A night out?” I raised a brow.

  “Yes. You need it.”

  I glanced around the room. Memories greeted me everywhere I turned, but it was still a prison I’d forced myself into when I moved home. I sucked in a calming breath.

  “Okay. You pick what we’re doing.”

  “Deal. I’d better get going. I have a few things I have to do at home before tomorrow.”

  “I’m sorry. I killed your entire weekend. I really didn’t—”

  She put her finger over my lips just like yesterday. It was something she’d done as kids when I kept talking and didn’t listen.

  “Stop. I told you I wanted to help. Don’t feel guilty.” She reached down and picked up her bag. “I’ll text you later for a day and time.”

  “Deal.”

  Lexi left after saying goodbye to Chloe. The room not silent with the sound of Chloe toys filling the room. I sat down and really took in the room. Completely different than it was that morning. It was only step one in a long process, but at least I could say I finally took the first one.

  Hopefully the first step in the right direction.

  14

  Aiden

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” I shoved a pack of wipes into the diaper bag.

  I’d woken up to an unseasonably warm day and wanted to take Chloe for a walk in the park before I had to head into work. I was trying to keep all the sympathy stares and comments I got from people I hadn’t seen in years at bay. Not really something I wanted to deal with.

  I always felt stronger when Lexi was with me growing up. I figured today would be no different.

  So I called to see if she wanted to join us before her first appointment. I didn’t mention that I needed her and probably wouldn’t go if she didn’t come with me. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to go if she couldn’t.

  Not to mention I really enjoyed her company.

  “Not at all. Give me about twenty minutes to get ready, then I’ll meet you at Round Point Park.”

  “Great. We’ll see you then.”

  I grabbed a handful of diapers and a premade bottle from the fridge. With everything packed and ready to go, I wrapped a blanket around Chloe’s legs and carried her through the house into the garage. Once she was secured in her seat, I loaded up the stroller and the diaper bag.

  “Ready for a ride, princess?”

  I could see her smile in the mirror I’d placed on the headrest of the back seat. Something about her sitting backward and me not being able to see her never sat right with me, so I got the mirror.

  She clapped her hands together as I backed out of the garage and onto the street. The sun was starting to rise in the sky as I took the left toward the park.

  For some reason, today seemed a little brighter than days before. Maybe it was because I was heading out into the fresh air, away from the dark curtains and empty walls. Well, walls that weren’t empty anymore thanks to Lexi. Our house truly felt like a home now.

  The parking lot had a few empty spaces when I arrived. I took the one that had two spaces together. Hopefully, Lexi would see us when she pulled in.

  I stepped out of the car to get the stroller out and I couldn’t help my wandering gaze, watching and waiting to see her car.

  I opened the stroller and put the diaper bag in the bottom. A breath left me on a rush when I saw Lexi’s BMW turn into the lot. It wasn’t that I thought she wouldn’t come, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling and fear of people leaving me.

  While she was pulling into the space, I unbuckled Chloe from her seat. Holding her with one hand, I tried to get her coat on.

  “Let me help.” Lexi walked forward hands out. Chloe immediately reached for her. I still couldn’t believe how quickly Chloe had taken to a total stranger. She’d always been so shy with everyone else.

  “Thanks,” I said as Lexi took her from my arms, and I lifted the coat to put it on. Once both arms were inside, Lexi turned her around so I could zip it up.

  “You’re a natural.”

  A light pink tinted her cheeks. “Thanks.”

  “I’m serious. You’d make a great mom. You ever think about having kids?” I shoved the bag underneath the stroller

  She hiked Chloe back up on her hip. “I’ve thought about, but haven’t found the right guy yet.”

  I lifted the tray on the stroller. “Want me to put her in the stroller?”

  “Nah, I’ll carry her for now. She seems really happy.” We started forward, moving through the gate of the park.

  “She is.” I ran my finger across Chloe’s cheek and my chest warmed with her little giggle. “What about that guy? What was him name? Max?”

  “Mitch.” Her lips drew down in a frown.

  “I take that as a no.”

  She sighed. “Honestly, I’m not sure. And to be honest, I’m surprised you remember anything from the night at the bar.”

  I shrugged and kept pushing the stroller forward. “There’s little bits and pieces. I knew you were on a date. Sorry I ruined that, by the way.”

  She looked up at me through her lashes, lashes that I didn’t rem
ember being so long. “You needed help and he didn’t seem to understand that.”

  I winced. “I guess he gave you a hard time about taking me home.”

  “Oh, he didn’t only have a problem with me taking you back to my place. He had a problem with me leaving our date to help another guy.”

  “Even though we’re just friends.”

  She paused a little too long and I glanced over. Her eyes were closed.

  “Is she getting too heavy? I can put her in the stroller.”

  Lexi’s eyes popped open. “Umm, yeah. Sure.”

  I reached out and took Chloe from her arms and belted her into the stroller. Little coos left her lips.

  “That better, little bug?”

  I stood and pushed the stroller forward. “What were you saying? Oh yeah, that you haven’t talked to Mitch since the night at the bar. Has he tried to call you?”

  “A few times, but I haven’t answered.”

  “Then I guess you’ve already made up your mind.”

  “You could say that.”

  I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kept pushing the stroller with the other hand. “Someday you’ll find Mr. Right. Well, as long as he passes my inspection.”

  She pursed her lips like she was going to yell at me, then burst into laughter. “Glad to know he’s gotta have your approval.”

  We walked farther into the park. “What can I say? I have to make sure he’s good enough for you.”

  “Well, if I ever find a man I’ll make sure you’re the first to know.”

  Lexi grew quiet after that, walking along as I pushed Chloe on the sidewalk next to the bike trail. I kept peeking at her to see what she might be thinking, but her face gave nothing away.

  She was like a vault, not exactly like I remembered.

  “How do you like working for your dad?”

  I groaned. “It’s as boring as I always thought it would be.”

  “Then why do it?”

  “What else am I going to do? I went to school for music and finance. I don’t know anything else.”

  “I doubt you have to work at a desk job. Invest the money from Violet Obsession right and you’ll never have to work again.”