Nolan wanted to weep as he stared down at his brother. Jared was unconscious again—either from fatigue, the effects of the drug cocktail he’d been given in the Reformation tank, the terrible news, or a mix of all three. He seemed so frail as he lay here, his gaunt chest rising and falling in a shallow rhythm. This was what Jared had been reduced to. Because of him.
The strength seemed to drain from Nolan’s body. Every muscle fiber suddenly felt filled with lead, and only Taia’s control of his combat suit kept him from toppling. He had to give her the mental command to let him sit heavily on the bed, and there he sat, watching his brother’s fitful rest.
I’m sorry, Jared. The words echoed in his mind on repeat. So sorry!
Nearly a full minute passed before a rustle from beyond the bed pierced his misery. Only then did he remember Jadis. His head snapped up and his eyes locked on her. She had lowered the hand from her cheek, where a red welt stood out against her ivory skin.
“Shit!” He leaped to his feet, darted around the bed to kneel by her chair, and reached out for her. “Jadis, are—“
“I’m fine.” She pushed his hand away gently. “It was just a glancing blow.”
Nolan studied the mark. “I think it’s going to bruise.”
“Maybe,” Jadis said, giving him a little shrug and a half-smile. “It’s not the first time it’s happened, you know. You get used to it after a while.”
Nolan felt a burning surge of anger rise within him as he imagined someone striking her. Given her former profession and what had happened to Mimi, he opened his mouth to ask her who had dared to lay hands on her. At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to hunt down the bastard and let out the rage building within him.
“My grandfather had dementia,” Jadis said. “He didn’t recognize any of us for the last year or so.” Her smile faded and her eyes darkened at the painful memory. “Hard to care for him like that. Hard to see him like that. But he was still Gramps.” The shadows passed after a moment, and once again the familiar, determined expression returned. “So you learn to take a few lumps, but it’s worth it, right? For family.”
Her words dimmed the fires of Nolan’s anger, but the helplessness and guilt remained, a burden that seemed to grow heavier with every beat of his heart.
“I believe I’ve got something to speed up healing, Jadis,” Taia said through the room’s speaker system. “It will make the bruise disappear in a matter of hours.”
“See?” Jadis gave him a bright smile. “Not so bad.” She hadn’t let go of his hand, and now gave it a squeeze. “Taia’s got me covered.”
Nolan let out the breath he’d been holding, and found his body once again wanted to collapse into a heap. He took a seat on the floor at her feet and leaned against the armchair and her legs. It felt good, spending a few moments resting there, with Jadis at his side. He imagined he could feel her warmth through their armor, and he drew on her strength of spirit.
Once again, he marveled at this woman, so resilient and courageous, no matter what life threw at her. For all of Nolan’s Silverguard training and his years in battle, Jadis had an innate fortitude that he’d seen matched by only a few of the Empire’s most elite soldiers.
“You don’t think it was too soon?” Jadis asked in a soft voice.
Nolan turned his head to look up at her. “Too soon?”
“To tell him. About Lina.” She nodded toward Jared. “He’s still recovering. News like that…”
“It can be bad, yeah, I know.” Nolan swallowed, trying to banish the last of the lump thickening his throat. “But I had to tell him. I needed him to hear it from me before…” The words came hard. “…before I leave.”
Jadis’ face tightened. “When?”
“Soon.” Nolan felt his strength returning, drawing from hers to fortify his resolve. He didn’t want to leave her and Jared, not yet, but the time wasn’t far off. “We’re just waiting for Taia to get a lead.”
“Oh.” A furrow appeared in Jadis’ brow.
Nolan hated that he’d been the one to put that look on her face—the look of worry, for him more than for herself—but just as with Jared, he had no choice. “It’s the only way,” he said. “The only way I can have any kind of life.”
“Then we will have to be patient.” She emphasized the word and gave him a determined smile. “Will you be enough, the four of you?” The words poured quickly from her mouth now. “Taia told me about the rest of Warbeast Team, and I know you’re all badasses, but you’re talking about taking on the Protection Bureau. That’s… It’s… I can’t even begin to understand how you’re going to do it, but just four of you doesn’t seem like enough, even with Taia to help. Especially now that she doesn’t have her body.” Her head cocked and she stared up into empty air. “Unless you’ve got another body somewhere handy, Taia?”
“I’m sorry, Jadis,” Taia said. “I have spent the last four days crafting another synth form, but it is a highly complex process that will require another nine days, twelve hours, and thirty-six minutes just to have the body ready to activate.”
Nolan felt a little flicker of disappointment. Having a synth Taia would come in damned handy for the battle ahead. But he couldn’t let it show on his face, not when he was trying to reassure Jadis.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Like you say, we can handle a lot, but I don’t know just how much we’re going up against.” With gentle movements, he took her hands in his. “But we’re not going to make a move until we’ve gathered enough intel and can come up with a proper plan.”
“Promise.” Jadis’ face hardened. “Promise that you’ll play this smart. You’ll take as much time as you need to do it right. And by right, I mean whatever way gets the job done without any of you getting yourselves killed.” She leaned forward. “I know you’re going to fight, and there’s always a risk of something happening. But I want you to swear to me that you’ll do everything you can to get through this alive.”
Nolan answered without hesitation. “I swear it.” He placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I’ve got too much to live for to let anything happen.”
That earned him a dazzling smile, the one that never failed to set his heart thundering in his chest. And he meant it, too. Everything he’d done for nearly two years had been to help Jared, and now he’d secured Jared’s freedom. If taking down the Protection Bureau meant Jared could actually live free, then Nolan had a damned good reason to pull it off and come back home. It didn’t matter that his apartment had been blown to shit—at the moment, home meant his brother and Jadis.
The hum of a ship’s engines shattered the fragile moment. Nolan heard it slowing on approach, then growing louder as it settled to land. He leaped to his feet, but before he could say anything, Taia’s voice filled the room.
“Don’t worry, Nolan,” she said. “It’s just our backup.”
“Backup?” Nolan frowned. Who else had she called besides Warbeast Team? His thoughts raced and a nagging doubt seeped into his mind.
Rip, perhaps? She might have tracked him down from wherever he and his rescued Liberationist captives had ended up. After saving Rip’s ass twice, the Voidmarine definitely owed Nolan a favor.
Or Detective Locke? That felt less likely—the man was a Doof, after all, and Nolan doubted Taia would reveal “Hellhound’s” identity by involving him in this.
He looked to Jadis, who nodded. “I’ll stay with him,” she said.
“Thank you.” He kissed her again. “Can I get you anything? Food, a drink?”
Jadis nodded. “I could eat. And if you’ve got sparkling water—”
“I’ve made sure the fridge is stocked with a full case of your favorite brand, Jadis,” Taia said.
Another dazzling smile broadened Jadis’ face. “Careful, Nolan, or the way Taia’s treating me, I might end up leaving you for her.”
Nolan grinned. “Better step up my game, then.”
“Alternatively,” Taia cut in, “we could form what
is colloquially known as a threesome-getsome. Bex explained the logistics to me, and I believe once I’ve finished constructing my corporeal frame with all the Project Uncanny Valley additions, it could prove quite enjoyable. I can generate some three-dimensional images that depict how we could—“
“I think we get the idea, and we’ll definitely talk about that later,” he said, a hint of heat rising to his cheeks—among other places.
Jadis gave him a wink. “Yes, definitely.”
Nolan chuckled and turned to leave, pausing only to cast a final glance at Jared. His brother either slept or had fallen unconscious once more. Either way, it gave him a few minutes’ respite from the harsh reality that awaited him. When he awoke, he’d find himself back in a life where his fiancée, Lina, was dead and he’d spent the last eighteen months as a prisoner. That was a cruel truth that Jared would need time to process, just as he’d need time for his body to recover from his ordeal in the Vault.
“Who else did you call for backup?” Nolan asked as he strode down the hallway, intent on the door leading to the basement.
Taia never had a chance to answer. As Nolan took his first step down the stairs, the durasteel security door to the hover-rail corridor opened and into the basement stepped the last person he expected—or hoped—to see.
“Hey Cerbie.” Bex’s eyes lit up as she spotted him, and she gave him a massive grin edged with her usual irreverence. “How much did you miss me?”
Chapter Four
“No!” The word burst from Nolan’s lips before he could stop it. He wanted to say more, but the sight of Bex standing there tied his tongue.
Bex’s grin never wavered as she cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “Nice to see you too?” She looked him over from head to toe. “Dick-kicking hell, Garrett. I leave you alone for a week and this is what happens?” She shook her head. “Never can seem to stay out of—“
“What are you doing here?” Nolan asked when he finally found his voice. “You’re not…” He swallowed and finished descending the staircase. “You got out! You were supposed to go start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere safe, far away from my shit!”
Now Bex’s smile faded. “Garrett—“
Nolan didn’t give her a chance to protest. “Bex, you can’t be here! Your daughter needs you more than I do.”
“Bullshit!” Bex snorted. “Way Taia told it, you were in serious trouble. What kind of Silverguard would I be if I didn’t come?”
“The kind who had a chance at a fresh start.” Nolan felt the anger surging in his chest. She’d been lucky enough to sever the ties to this life, only to be dragged back in because of him? He’d hoped that she would fight her addictions—not only to drugs, but also to the adrenaline rush of battle that had sent her down this path in the first place—and move on. Yet here she was, far from…
“Bullshit!” A child’s voice and giggle came from behind Bex. “Mommy, you said bullshit again. That’s five credits.”
“Crap!” Bex turned away from Nolan. “I mean, oops!”
“Five more, mommy.”
Nolan stared at the little girl in the tunnel. Roz was a half-sized identical replica of Bex, even down to the fade haircut, the blonde dye job, and the sharp edge to the smile she shot up at her mother. She wore simple civilian clothing in a cut and style similar to Bex’s—a sleeveless shirt with cargo pants, though she had on shiny pink shoes with little flashing lights on the soles in place of combat boots—and even had a miniature military-style duffel bag slung over one shoulder to match Bex’s pack.
Bex reached a hand down to ruffle her daughter’s short, blonde-dyed hair. “At this rate, we’ll be taking that trip to Adventure Splash Zone way sooner than either of us expected.”
“Ooh, yippie!” Roz’s green eyes sparkled just like Bex’s did when excited, and she jumped up and down.
Nolan had seen the picture of Roz that Sergeant Major Chambers had shown Bex, but seeing the girl face to face left him at a loss for words. She appeared every bit as vivacious and exuberant as Bex, the sort of child who delighted in everything around her.
And Bex had brought her here.
“Baby, say hi to Nolan,” Bex said, gesturing to Nolan. “He’s one of mommy’s friends.”
Roz stepped forward and waved eagerly to Nolan. “Hi, Nolan! I’m Rosette, but I don’t like that name.” She wrinkled her nose and frowned up at her mother. Her smile returned when she looked back at Nolan. “You can call me Roz. That’s a prettier name, don’t you think? And this is Mister Biteyface.” She held out a stuffed razorfang lizard plush toy she’d had tucked under her left arm. “He’s got big, sharp teeth, but he doesn’t bite. Not unless you’re a bad guy trying to hurt me or mommy. Then he’ll snap your head off. Snap, snap, snap!”
Nolan stared down at the little girl, speechless. She seemed not to notice, and continued talking as if perfectly content to carry on the conversation by herself.
“Mommy said the razorfang lizards she’s met aren’t friendly like Mister Biteyface. They’re big and grumpy and mean, and they’re always hungry. Mister Biteyface is always hungry too, though, so I have to snuggle him to make sure he’s nice instead of grumpy. And he’s a small lizard right now, but he’ll grow up to be—“
Nolan felt the anger boiling within him, the pressure growing until he felt he would explode. Bex seemed to sense it, because she cut her daughter off mid-ramble.
“Roz, baby, come here.” She pulled her daughter close. “Mommy’s going to cover your ears because she and Nolan are going to do some yelling.”
Roz’s face scrunched up into another frown, and she gave Nolan a worried glance. “Yelling? But—“
“Don’t worry, friends yell sometimes, too.” Bex pressed a kiss to Roz’s forehead, and the wrinkles on the little girl’s brow smoothed out. “And you know mommy’s going to say a few ‘naughty no-no words,’ so we’ll just add fifty credits into the Adventure Splash Zone fun ahead of time.”
“Deal!” Roz grinned up at Bex and, tucking the stuffed toy under her arms, pressed her mother’s hands over her ears.
Bex looked up from her daughter. “Spit it out, soldier boy. You look ready to explode.”
“Why?” Instead of fiery rage, the word came out edged with a quiet, icy fury. “Why would you come back? You were out. You had a ship and credits enough to go anywhere, do anything you wanted. Why get dragged back into my shit?”
Bex’s expression hardened. “Because that’s what we do. Silverguards never—“
“Don’t give me that bullshit!” Nolan hissed, his voice harsh and cold. “This isn’t about that, and you know it!” He was about to step closer, but caught himself before he moved. He didn’t want to scare Roz. “I don’t know if this is because you missed the excitement or you felt guilty for leaving or—“
“Oh, you think you know me so well, do you?” Anger flared in Bex’s eyes, as raging hot as his was cold. She, too, looked like she was going to advance on him and square up, but Roz stopped her. Yet even from three meters away, Nolan could feel the waves of fury rolling off her. “Here’s a truth for you, Garrett: I’m not the same strung-out junkie you found on your doorstep, or the one who nearly relapsed in the Zalkrovi. Just because you saw me at my worst doesn’t mean you get to judge me or look down on me.”
“I’m not—“ Nolan began.
Bex drove on over him. “Before I left, I told you what I was afraid of, what made me worried to leave. But everything changed the moment I saw Roz. Everything made sense, and I knew I was in the right place. The place I goddamned needed to be, with the person who actually needed and wanted me more than anyone else in the whole fucking universe.”
For some reason, those words struck something painful deep inside Nolan, as if she’d driven a gauntleted fist into his gut.
“And yes, it’s been the toughest pissing battle I’ve ever had to fight,” Bex continued, her voice rising to an angry shout. “But it’s one I never want to run away from, because it’s the mos
t important bloody battle, too.”
“So what the fuck-flinging hell are you doing here?” The words exploded out of Nolan. “Dragging her into my mess? Putting her in danger? For what?”
“Because of you, you dumb cunt!” Bex roared. “Because I’ve spent the last week being the happiest I’ve ever been, and I can’t stop thinking how much happier I’d be if there was a way that you could be a part of my life, too!”
Whatever Nolan had been about to say vanished in a puff of smoke.
“You and I both know who we are and what we do,” Bex continued, anger darkening her face. “But that doesn’t mean it’s all we’ll ever be or all we’ll ever do.” Her eyes flicked down toward her daughter. “She’s shown me that. And I thought maybe, just fucking maybe, you deserve a chance to live long enough to find out for yourself.”
Nolan tried to speak. No words came out. Bex had always been full of surprises, but this caught him completely off-guard.
“I have a fresh start,” Bex said, and the fires of her anger began to dim, slowly. “But it’d be a much better one with you in it. So if it means one last mission, even one like this, then I’m in.” She pulled one hand away from her daughter’s ear to jab a finger at Nolan. “And fuck you if you think you can talk me out of it!”
“Mommy!” Roz protested.
Bex’s hand darted back to cover Roz’s ears, but before she could speak, Nolan finally found his voice.
“And what about her?” He gestured to the little girl standing with her face pressed into Bex’s waist. “How can you bring her here, knowing what we’re going up against?”
“Because Taia assured me that she’d be safe.” Bex’s jaw muscles clenched. “That this place is so far off the grid that even Agent bloody Styver and the Protection Bureau won’t find it.”
Rampant Destruction (CERBERUS Book 10) Page 3