CHAPTER XXVII.
AM I A CHRISTIAN?
The sun had now descended for the last time before the solemn day whichwas charged with the fate of Callista, and what was the state of mind ofone who excited such keen interest in the narrow circle within which shewas known? And how does it differ from what it was some weeks before, whenAgellius last saw her? She would have been unable to say herself. "So isthe kingdom of God: as if a man should cast seed into the earth, andshould sleep and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and growup, whilst he knoweth not." She might, indeed, have been able afterwards,on looking back, to say many things of herself; and she would haverecognised that while she was continually differing from herself, in thatshe was changing, yet it was not a change which involved contrariety, butone which expanded itself in (as it were) concentric circles, and onlyfulfilled, as time went on, the promise of its beginning. Every day, as itcame, was, so to say, the child of the preceding, the parent of that whichfollowed; and the end to which she tended could not get beyond the aimwith which she set out. Yet, had she been asked, at the time of which wespeak, where was her principle and her consistency, what was her logic, orwhether she acted on reason, or on impulse, or on feeling, or in fancy, orin passion, she would have been reduced to silence. What did she knowabout herself, but that, to her surprise, the more she thought over whatshe heard of Christianity, the more she was drawn to it, and the more itapproved itself to her whole soul, and the more it seemed to respond toall her needs and aspirations, and the more intimate was her presentimentthat it was true? The longer it remained on her mind as an object, themore it seemed (unlike the mythology or the philosophy of her country, orthe political religion of Rome) to have an external reality and substance,which deprived objections to it of their power, and showed them to be atbest but difficulties and perplexities.
But then again, if she had been asked, what was Christianity, she wouldhave been puzzled to give an answer. She would have been able to mentionsome particular truths which it taught, but neither to give them theirdefinite and distinct shape, nor to describe the mode in which they wererealised. She would have said, "I believe what has been told me, as fromheaven, by Chione, Agellius, and Caecilius:" and it was clear she could saynothing else. What the three told her in common and in concord was at oncethe measure of her creed and the ground of her acceptance of it. It wasthat wonderful unity of sentiment and belief in persons so dissimilar fromeach other, so distinct in their circumstances, so independent in theirtestimony, which recommended to her the doctrine which they were sounanimous in teaching. She had long given up any belief in the religion ofher country. As to philosophy, it dwelt only in conjecture and opinion;whereas the very essence of religion was, as she felt, a recognition ofthe worshippers on the part of the Object of it. Religion could not bewithout hope. To worship a being who did not speak to us, recognise us,love us, was not religion. It might be a duty, it might be a merit; buther instinctive notion of religion was the soul's response to a God whohad taken notice of the soul. It was loving intercourse, or it was a name.Now the three witnesses who had addressed her about Christianity had eachof them made it to consist in the intimate Divine Presence in the heart.It was the friendship or mutual love of person with person. Here was thevery teaching which already was so urgently demanded both by her reasonand her heart, which she found nowhere else; which she found existing oneand the same in a female slave, in a country youth, in a learned priest.
This was the broad impression which they made upon her mind. When sheturned to consider more in detail what it was they taught, or what wasimplied in that idea of religion which so much approved itself to her, sheunderstood them to say that the Creator of heaven and earth, Almighty,All-good, clothed in all the attributes which philosophy gives Him, theInfinite, had loved the soul of man so much, and her soul in particular,that He had come upon earth in the form of a man, and in that form hadgone through sufferings, in order to unite all souls to Him; that Hedesired to love, and to be loved; that He had said so; that He had calledon man to love Him, and did actually bring to pass this loving intercourseof Him and man in those souls who surrendered themselves to Him. She didnot go much further than this; but as much as this was before her mindmorning, noon, and night. It pleaded in her; it importuned her; it wouldnot be rebuffed. It did not mind her moods, or disgusts, or doubts, ordenials, or dismissals, but came again and again. It rose before her, inspite of the contempt, reproach, and persecution which the profession ofit involved. It smiled upon her; it made promises to her; it openedeternal views to her; and it grew upon her convictions in clearness ofperception, in congruity, and in persuasiveness.
Moreover, the more she thought of Chione, of Agellius, and of Caecilius themore surely did she discern that this teaching wrought in them a somethingwhich she had not. They had about them a simplicity, a truthfulness, adecision, an elevation, a calmness, and a sanctity to which she was astranger, which spoke to her heart and absolutely overcame her. The imageof Caecilius, in particular, came out prominently and eloquently in hermemory,--not in his words so much as in his manner. In spite of what shehad injuriously said to him, she really felt drawn to worship him, as ifhe were the shrine and the home of that Presence to which he bore suchsolemn witness.
O the change, when, as if in punishment for her wild words against him,she found herself actually in the hands of lawless men, who were as farbelow her in sentiment as he was above her! O the change, when she wasdizzied by their brutal vociferations and rapid motion, and that breathand atmosphere of evil which steamed up from the rankness of theirimpiety! O the thankfulness which rose up in her heart, though but vaguelydirected to an object, when she found the repose and quiet, though it wasthat of a prison! for young as she was, she had become tired of all thingsthat were seen, and had no strong desire, except for meditation on thegreat truths which she did not know.
One day passes and then another; and now the morning and the hour is comewhen she must appear before the magistrates of Sicca. With dread, withagitation, she looks forward to the moment. She has not yet a peace withinher. Her peace is the stillness of the room in which she is imprisoned.She knows it will pass away when she leaves it; she knows that again shemust be in the hands of cruel, godless men, with whom she has no sympathy;but she has no stay whereon to lean in the terrible trial. Her brothercomes to her: he affects to forget her perverseness or delusion. He comesto her with a smile, and throws his arms around her; and Callista repels,from some indescribable feeling, his ardent caress, as if she were nolonger his. He has come to accompany her to court, by an indulgence whichhe had obtained; to support her there,--to carry her through, and to takeher back in triumph home. My sister,--why that strange, piteous look uponthy countenance?--why that paleness of thy cheek?--why that whisper of thylips?--why those wistful, gentle pleadings of thine eyes? Sweet eyes, andbrow, and cheek, in which I have ever prided myself! Why so backward?--whyso distant and unfriendly? Am I not come to rescue thee from a place wherethou never shouldst have been?--where thou ne'er shalt be again? Callista,what is this mystery?--speak!
Such as this was the mute expostulation conveyed in Aristo's look, and inthe fond grasp of his hand; while treading down forcibly within him hismemory and his fears of her great change, he determined she should be tohim still all that she had ever been. But how altered was that look, andhow relaxed that grasp, when at length her misery found words, and shesaid to him in agitation, "My time is short: I want some Christian, aChristian priest!"
It was as though she had never shown any tendency before to the proscribedreligion. The words came to him with the intensity of something new andunimagined hitherto. He clasped his hands in emotion, turned white, andcould but say, "Callista!" If she had made confession of the most heinousof crimes,--if she had spoken of murder, or some black treachery againsthimself,--of some enormity too great for words, it might have been; but hissister!--his pride and delight, after all and certainly a C
hristian! Betterfar had she said she was leaving him for ever, to abandon herself to thedegrading service of the temples; better had she said she had takenhemlock, or had an asp in her bosom, than that she should choose to go outof the world with the tortures, the ignominy, the malediction of thereligion of slaves.
Time waits for no man, nor does the court of justice, nor the _subsellia_of the magistrate. The examination is to be held in the Basilica at theForum, and it requires from us a few words of explanation beforehand. Thelocal magistrates then could only try the lesser offences, and decidecivil suits; cases of suspected Christianity were reserved for the Romanauthorities. Still, preliminary examinations were not unfrequentlyconducted by the city Duumvirs, or even in what may be called the policecourts. And this may have especially been the case in the Proconsulates.Propraetors and Presidents were in the appointment of the Emperor, andjoined in their persons the supreme civil and military authority. Suchprovinces, perhaps, were better administered; but there would be more ofarbitrariness in their rule, and it would not be so acceptable to theruled. The Proconsuls, on the other hand, were representatives of theSenate, and had not the military force directly in their hands. Thenatural tendency of this arrangement was to create, on the one hand, arivalry between the civil and military establishments; and, on the other,to create a friendly feeling between the Proconsul and the localmagistracy. Thus, not long before the date of this history, we read ofGordian, the Proconsul, enjoying a remarkable popularity in his Africanprovince; and when the people rose against the exactions of the imperialProcurator, as referred to in a former page, they chose and supportedGordian against him. But however this might be in general, so it was atthis time at Sicca, that the Proconsular _Officium_ and the citymagistrates were on a good understanding with each other, whereas therewas some collision between the latter and the military. Not much dependsin the conduct of our story upon this circumstance; but it must be takento account for the examination of Callista in the Forum, and for someother details which may follow before we come to the end of it.
The populace was collected about the gates and within the ample space ofthe Basilica, but they gave expression to no strong feeling on the subjectof a Christian delinquent. The famine, the sickness, and, above all, thelesson which they had received so lately from the soldiers, had bothdiminished their numbers and cowed their spirit. They were sullen, too,and resentful; and, with the changeableness proverbial in a multitude, hadrather have witnessed the beheading of a magistrate, or the burning of atribune, than the torture and death of a dozen of wretched Christians.Besides, they had had a glut of Christian blood; a reaction of feeling hadtaken place, and, in spite of the suspicion of witchcraft, the youth andthe beauty of Callista recommended her to their compassion.
The magistrates were seated on the _subsellia_, one of the Duumvirspresiding, in his white robe bordered with purple; his lictors, withstaves, not fasces, standing behind him. In the vestibule of the court, toconfront the prisoner on her first entrance, were the usual instruments oftorture. The charge was one which can only be compared, in the estimationof both state and people in that day, to that of witchcraft, poisoning,parricide, or other monstrous iniquity in Christian times. There were theheavy _boiae_, a yoke for the neck, of iron, or of wood; the fetters; the_nervi_, or stocks, in which hands and feet were inserted, at distancesfrom each other which strained or dislocated the joints. There, too, werethe _virgae_, or rods with thorns in them; the _flagra_, _lori_, and_plumbati_, whips and thongs, cutting with iron or bruising with lead; theheavy clubs; the hook for digging into the flesh; the _ungula_, said tohave been a pair of scissors; the _scorpio_, and _pecten_, iron combs orrakes for tearing. And there was the wheel, fringed with spikes, on whichthe culprit was stretched; and there was the fire ready lighted, with thewater hissing and groaning in the large caldrons which were placed uponit. Callista had lost for ever that noble intellectual composure of whichwe have several times spoken; she shuddered at what she saw, and almostfainted, and, while waiting for her summons, leaned heavily against themerciless _cornicularius_ at her side.
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