“Strange. Wouldn’t have thought she was the type to go half way across the world.”
June felt a bit sad at the thought of losing such a good friend, and her job as well of course, but mostly not having Clodagh around. They had become good friends and even though she truly wished her well, June knew she would miss her terribly.
“Suppose it’s something she wants to do, seems like she’s been thinking about it for some time now.”
Matt handed June the last of the plates to dry, “All done. You’ll miss her now won’t you? Never know sure maybe someone might take over the post office and at least you’d still have your job.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Maybe, we’ll see,” if June had any previous doubts about Matt’s future plans she certainly hadn’t any now, not after their little anniversary celebration the other night. She knew now it was about time to ‘set the butterfly free’.
“Matt. We need to talk,” June loved that stupid grin Matt would wear as if he didn’t know what was coming next.
“Sounds serious,” she laughed and took him by the hand and sat him down in Pop’s old armchair.
“It is serious.”
Matt’s expression changed.
“Just let me say what I have to say. It’s taken me so long to do this. Please Matt. Don’t make it any harder.”
Matt listened intently not knowing what he was going to hear. Was there something wrong? Had he done something to upset her?
“I want you to follow your dream, go to America, see the world! I love you Matt. I can’t be happy watching you living a lie. Do it for me.”
There was a long silence, Matt said nothing, this wasn’t the reaction June had expected, she didn’t know what exactly she did expect but certainly not this—no reaction at all. She could think of nothing to say now, so much to be said and she could think of absolutely nothing to say.
In all of their time together, she had never once felt awkward in his presence, not until now.
For what seemed like an eternity, but could only have been minutes Matt just sat and stared at the floor, then he got up and walked towards the door.
He said nothing as he turned round to look at June, tears streaming down his face and proceeded to go out of the door. “Matt…”
Not closing it angrily, just gently as was his way and he had gone.
“Matt…”
June curled up on Pop’s old armchair and cried her fill.
It was a week later, June went round to Walter’s with some shepherd’s pie, he loved shepherd’s pie, least he’d loved Lily’s shepherd’s pie. June wasn’t sure hers was up to Lily’s standard but he’d never complained.
“Penny for them,” Walter had been standing holding a plate of custard creams.
“I’m sorry Walter, I was miles away,” June burst into tears, “Matt’s gone. He’s gone Walter.”
With a gentle hand on her shoulder, it was Walter’s turn to comfort her.
“There, there, he’ll not have gone far with a heavy heart. There, there.”
Chapter Sixteen
Matt was overdue a visit home, the bus journey seemed to take forever, he shouldn’t have walked out like that but why would June tell him she loved him and in the same breath tell him to go, to go thousands of miles away to follow his dream, a dream that was now becoming a nightmare.
He had kept in touch with his mother all the time but never felt the desire to return home, until now.
Awoken by the movement on the bus Matt was somewhat relieved to finally be there. Mind you, it wasn’t a ‘good to be home’ feeling just relieved at the journey’s end.
He had come from a strange background, his mother a heart of gold had spent every waking hour catering to the demands of his alcoholic father. There were no great bonds with his father, he would spend his time adapting to his father’s moods to keep the peace while his mother would cover up the bruises!
Matt had promised himself that once he was old enough to make his own way he would work hard to make a life for himself far away from there.
His mother, put down so often began to believe she was worthless, self-esteem crushed to the core, why anyone would take such abuse and cover it up, Matt couldn’t understand.
He’d pleaded and pleaded with her time and time again to leave him but she ‘loved him’ and he ‘loved her’ and never meant to hurt her, it was the drink you see, she would say to Matt, some way of showing it he’d thought, this was mental abuse and nothing less!
Nothing had changed, his mother overjoyed to see him still bore the bruises of a recent mood swing, it was so hard to turn a blind eye to what was going on. It had driven Matt away.
“Please Matt, he doesn’t mean it.”
Same old words, he would have to respect his mother’s wishes. He was powerless.
Clodagh was busy these last couple of weeks, she’d made contact with the volunteer group and was all but ready to take off. The business side of things however were slower to organise. The post office was up for sale to be taken on, she hoped as a going concern, that way June might still have a job and her local pensioners, of which there weren’t so many these days only the few, wouldn’t have to travel to the city to collect their pension. But Clodagh had given them a good service all those years and not one could wish her anything but the best of luck.
“Indeed, you’ll be missed around here,” Mrs Mac as everyone knew her, Mrs McCarty being her proper name, bundled her few messages into her shopping bag and collected her change from the counter.
“Indeed, in you will a girl,” and she walked towards the door leaving her shopping bag down for a moment to fix her scarf and open the door.
“Take care Mrs Mac,” Clodagh would miss this too.
The only way of life she’d known for so many years now.
The fresh eggs that Greta down the road would bring knowing that in return Clodagh would bring her the best brown soda bread anyone ever baked.
And there was Nancy in the village who’d pick her first daffodils and bring them to the post office to put in the window, simple thoughtful folk, the likes of whom Clodagh knew she would probably never meet again. She would indeed miss them.
June hadn’t noticed the clock tick so loudly before, it was five thirty in the morning and she longed for daylight to come. Twisting and turning all night long these days she was more exhausted in the mornings than rested, she had come to hate the darkness.
Was it time to give up on Matt! It had been three weeks now and no word.
What about his things? He’d taken nothing with him only what he was wearing, he always travelled light anyway, she’d thought to herself, there wasn’t much stuff to leave behind.
Chapter Seventeen
She wondered what he was doing now, right at this moment. Was he lying awake maybe wondering about her?
Maybe he’d moved on, maybe. June tormented with thoughts and maybe’s decided to get up and face the day.
If only, she could switch off for a while, if only she knew he was okay. Perhaps today, perhaps he’d ring today!
Weeks turned into months and June had long since reconciled herself that Matt had moved on, had gone for good.
As she walked down, through the village towards the post office, she gasped as the ‘SOLD’ sign went up on the post office. Although, knowing it was about to happen at any time, June was still set aback to actually see it.
Clodagh was grinning from ear to ear as June entered the post office.
“Great news! The sale went through yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m so happy for you,” June hugged her friend and was genuinely happy for her. As far as she herself was concerned, her future was unsure but she would support her friend all the way.
She’d only wished she herself had the courage to go further afield, but something was holding her here, she would never ask to leave though what held her here was a complete mystery to her.
The quayside was dotted with lunchtime sun worshipers,
summer had taken everyone by surprise and arrived early.
There were solicitors, barristers, shop assistants, doctors, people from every walk of life, June thought to herself as she walked along towards the quayside herself with her take away coffee hoping to find a quiet corner to take in a few of the sun’s rays.
She jerked as she was touched on the shoulder and turned around.
“How are you?” June was speechless for a moment
“Matt,” for a moment there was a feeling of awkwardness, but only for a moment.
Matt didn’t stand for much longer, “Enjoying the weather?”
He never was one for small talk.
“June, the way I left, I—”
“All in the past,” June wasn’t going to tell him she’d thought of that dreadful day on every waking moment.
“I went home, just got back.”
Matt had told June about the situation at home when they’d first met.
He’d swore he’d never go back there, he’d rang home every week without fail, he was good to his mother, would send her a few pounds when he had it to spare. But he’d swore he’d never go back there, couldn’t bear to watch.
“Is it okay if I come and pick up my stuff sometime? I know it’s not much. That is, if you haven’t dumped it.”
“’Course I haven’t. It’s no problem pick it up anytime you want.”
As he walked away, he turned as he always used to do and waved. June wanted to scream, in jerking to see who was tapping her on the shoulder she’d spilled her (still black, as she hadn’t yet put the milk in) coffee and scalded her hand.
She’d held it behind her back while talking to Matt not feeling any pain up until now.
Stupid girl, she thought to herself.
“What did I say,” Walter greeted June at the door. June was puzzled.
“He’d not go far. Didn’t I say he’d not go far? I was talking to your Matt this afternoon.”
June smiled, poor Walter, “Yes. I spoke to him earlier, he’s come to pick up his stuff.”
“Fiddlesticks. Sure isn’t it written all over the lads face.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Now Walter, eat up your shepherd’s pie and don’t be going on with your nonsense,” they both laughed.
“Thanks June, I’m very grateful for your trouble, you’re a good girl.”
June noticed Walter was slowing down a bit, though an active man he was getting on too, she thought, although she’d never known how old he was he’d been collecting his pension now for a while.
“Sure, ’twas no bother at all. Wasn’t I doing a bit for myself anyway, have to keep our strength up eh!”
As she walked home with her tea towel in her hand, June thought about her nan, she always said one shouldn’t boast about doing good.
“Keep it to yourself,” she used to say, “God sees all.”
She still missed her nan and pop too. Things were different then, simple. Why must life be so complicated!
These days she was feeling tired, drained. Life could do that sometimes, knock the stuffing out of you.
As she approached the garden gate, June could see Matt standing at her front door. Tall, slim, a catch for any woman, she thought, she remembered the first time he’d spoken to her in the local shop.
Funny, she couldn’t recall much of her life before meeting Matt, nothing exciting anyway.
He’d been the best thing that had ever happened to her, it was only a pity it had to end like this—a pity it had to end at all.
“Hi,” he’d spotted her as she reached over to open the gate, “Is it a good time to call?”
“Ya, ’course,” she greeted him with a smile.
No point dragging up the events of the past, she thought, he was only picking up his stuff and he’d be on his way again.
As June closed the door behind them, she offered Matt a cup of tea, she didn’t know who owed who an apology, Matt had hurt her in going without a word but perhaps she had hurt him too, she must have or he wouldn’t have gone off like that.
“There’s shepherd’s pie in the oven if you’re hungry. Just been down to Walter with some.”
Matt sat in Pop’s old chair, for a moment it was as if nothing had happened.
“Saw him earlier, seems in good form,” Matt suddenly got to his feet, “Maybe I should go. I’ll just get my things.”
As he went up the stairs of the old cottage, June listened to his footsteps and the old familiar creeks in the floorboards which she hadn’t heard for a while being alone in the house, it was nice.
She’d never imagined herself being alone, there was always Nan and Pop and when Pop had passed away, there was Nan and then there was Matt. It didn’t really bother her being alone in the house she just never imagined she would be.
In years gone by, she would have given anything to come home and have her own space sometimes, do her own thing.
Pop would have his buddies in for a card game or a few drinks and a singsong.
Now, she’d give anything to have it all back again, a bit of noise about the place.
She heard Matt come down the stairs.
“Kettle’s boiled. Have a cuppa before you go.”
“June, I am really sorry for the way I left that day, truly. I will always regret it. It was rude, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I just.”
“We all have our regrets,” June handed him his tea and his favourite biscuits.
“You doing okay?” he asked sincerely.
“Oh, you know me,” they smiled and the conversation became a bit easier, a bit less awkward.
He’d spent the last couple of months at home things were as bad as ever, his dad still drinking the house falling down around them.
Chapter Nineteen
Kept himself busy doing the long overdue repairs, taking all his might not to get involved with their sad life.
Malcolm Mac Phearson came from a business background, his family had shops all over the country. He’d been commuting from one to another of them working under the supervision of his mother and now he wanted to branch out on his own.
The post office was an ideal investment, he’d thought, a well-established business up and running.
Clodagh would take time before she left to show him the ropes, so to speak!
“June, this is Malcom Mac Phearson,” Clodagh greeted June as she went through the door of the post office, still thinking about Matt.
They’d chatted for a while the evening before over a cup of tea, she knew she still had feelings for him she just hoped it wasn’t evident in their conversation, things were complicated enough. She had to let him get on with his life and get on with her own. June smiled conservatively as she shook the stranger’s outstretched hand.
“Pleased to meet you Mr Mac Phearson,” he had a firm hold, an assertive look about him, June thought.
“Mac, my friends call me Mac.” Was he to be her new boss or had he other plans for the post office, she’d have to wait and see.
He couldn’t be more than her own age, maybe a couple of years younger, she thought, but so much worldlier, nice and easy on the eyes too!
“What do you think?” Clodagh had left Malcolm Mac Phearson in the back room going over the books.
“Seems okay,” June wondered had he mentioned keeping her on. As if reading her mind, Clodagh reassured her that her job was safe, he would be running the post office as it was and in time hoped to maybe expand into stocking different products.
There was after all an opening for a bigger variety of stock in the grocery end of things. Clodagh only ever carried the necessary bits that would maybe tie someone over until they got to the bigger shops, it was more a convenience store with a post office. She’d never had any big plans, was happy to potter along and make enough to pay the bills and put a bit aside. The sale would bring a nice tidy sum, enough to carry out her plans.
June was relieved to hear that she would still have a job at least, as regards the
future she would take it one day at a time.
The doorbell rang, June just out of the shower, hair still dripping opened the door in her dressing gown, “Hi Matt,” she hadn’t been expecting him today. She was meeting Clodagh for lunch, their last meeting as she was on her way very early in the morning.
Handing the house key to June, Matt smiled.
“Meant to leave it with you the other day.”
“Come in, I’m just out of the shower,” June stepped aside as Matt walked past her into the hall.
“I’m staying at Walter’s for a bit. He offered me his spare room until I get sorted. Better keep going, said I’d do a few jobs for him. Pay for my keep,” Matt smiled and they shared a giggle, looking into June’s eyes her hair still wet he recalled the happier times.
For a moment, he stared at her beauty, he’d often wondered before how she had managed to stay single. Must have been out of choice, certainly wasn’t for the want of offers, he thought.
She had a natural beauty, a glow about her, no beauty products could produce such a result.
“See you then,” June was beginning to shiver as she held the door open, Matt standing motionless looking at her.
“Yes, yes thanks June,” and he walked down the garden path to the gate. He turned and waved.
Clodagh looked her best, happy and excited about her new adventure.
Chapter Twenty
“Won’t be long now,” June greeted her friend and they embraced.
“Don’t know if I’m more terrified or excited. A bit of both I suppose.”
“You’ll be grand,” June was full of admiration for Clodagh, it took a lot of guts to do what she did, she hoped she would be okay and that everything would work out for her as planned.
“I’m so glad you’re staying on at the post office. I think Mac will appreciate it too, he’s going to need your support.”
June wasn’t sure it would be the same working with Mac, but she would give it a go, for the moment it suited her anyway, employment wasn’t that easy to come by unless you went into the city and she didn’t want to do that.
One Chance Page 4