by Fiona Leitch
‘That was fun, wasn’t it?’ he said. I laughed.
‘What was that all about?’ I asked, and then added, mimicking his accent, ‘‘I wouldn’t file that claim yet if I were you.’ Oh my God, I nearly died.’
‘What can I say? I didn’t like the bloke.’
‘Really? I couldn’t tell…’
Nathan laughed, then stopped and looked at me. ‘We make a good team, don’t we?’
‘You mean, like, ‘good cop, bad cop’?’
‘I was thinking more, ‘wannabe cop, actual cop’…’
‘Oi!’ I lifted my hand to slap him and he caught it.
‘Again with the hitting. Do I need to handcuff you?’ He pulled me towards him, and I thought, Oh my God, AT LAST, he’s going to kiss me. And then I thought, and then he’ll bugger off back to Liverpool… Nathan hesitated, and then—
His phone rang. He sighed. ‘Every. Single. Time.’ He let go of my hand and dug his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the caller ID, then declined the call.
‘Who was that?’ I asked, thinking, That’s the second time he’s declined a call in front of me…
‘My old super,’ he said.
‘The one back in Liverpool? You should probably talk to him if he’s going to be your boss again.’
He shook his head, almost angrily. ‘I told you, I—’ But he was interrupted by his phone ringing again. ‘Oh for God’s sake!’ He looked at it, but this time he took the call. ‘Hi Matt… Already? That was quick. Go on… Right. Have they cross-checked that against the bag of rubbish…? Okay. Well, I’m pretty much done here, so I’ll be back in the office in a bit.’ He hung up and looked at me. ‘The lab results are back. Apparently it really does speed things up if you know what you’re looking for.’
‘And…?’
‘There was tetrodotoxin present in the deceased’s body. A lot of it.’
‘So it was the pufferfish? Damn.’
‘Is that, damn because that proves it was Zack’s fault, or damn because you were hoping for a more exciting outcome?’
I gave a short laugh. ‘Yes. To both.’
We stood smiling at each other, and for a second I thought the words I really don’t want you to leave were going to burst out of my mouth before I could stop them, but I was saved from making an idiot of myself by his bloody phone ringing AGAIN.
Nathan looked at the caller ID and groaned.
‘Is it him again?’ I asked, and he nodded. ‘Look, just take it or he’ll keep calling you. I’ll see you later.’
‘Okay,’ said Nathan, reluctantly. He answered the call. ‘Hi, can you hold on just one second?’ He turned back to me. ‘The lab hasn’t had the results back from the fish guts yet, and I’m not going to make the cause of death official until we have them. But if you want to forewarn Zack, be my guest.’
‘I think I will,’ I said, then Germaine and I left him to his phone call.
Chapter Eighteen
Zack had left Polvarrow and had gone back to keep an eye on Aiko, so I finished off at the food truck, locked up, and drove to Parkview Manor Hotel, where the cast was staying.
As I walked into the foyer I tried not to remember that this was where I’d first met Nathan, but it was impossible not to replay the scene in my head. It had been the day of Tony’s ill-fated wedding, and I had been sitting with him in the formal dining room. It had been beautifully decorated and should have been playing host to all his family and friends, not the two of us trying to make sense of his ex-wife’s death and his bride-to-be’s disappearance. I glanced in through the open door; we’d been sitting at that table there, near the bar, when the extremely handsome, well-dressed, and (I’d thought) arrogant new CID officer had sauntered in and made some sarcastic (but ultimately correct) remark about me being a cook, not a copper. He’d completely dismissed me, banishing me to the kitchen while he questioned Tony. He’d made repeated attempts to get rid of me throughout that investigation, but after a few days of constantly running into me had been forced to admit that I’d given him misgivings and made him feel like maybe, in this case, the most likely explanation wasn’t the real one. Eventually he’d taken me into his confidence and told me that he had no one in Penstowan to talk to, no one to brainstorm with or discuss aspects of the case with that he found puzzling. So he’d turned to me. And he’d gone from being someone I dreaded bumping into (because, to start with, every time I bumped into him I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing, somewhere I shouldn’t be doing it) to someone I missed when he wasn’t around…
I gave a big sniff and tried to force the tears that were threatening to spring into my eyes back into my tear ducts, but unfortunately tears don’t really work that way. I swiped at them instead with the sleeve of my coat and turned towards the reception desk, intending to ask for Zack.
‘Hey! What are you doing here?’ Kimi had entered the hotel behind me, Princess in her arms, panting (the dog, not the actress). The hotel was dog-friendly, and was also the place where I’d first met (and fallen in love with) Germaine, who had now seen the Pekinese and given her a welcoming bark.
‘Hello! You just been for a walk?’ I asked, turning around and reaching out to pat the dog. Kimi yanked her baby away from me.
‘Princess needed some quality time with me after last night. Poor baby! So many bad vibes floating around…’ She looked about her. ‘What happened to the handsome police officer guy who was with you? Is he here?’
Blasted movie stars, I thought. If it wasn’t Faith undressing Tony with her eyes, it was Kimi lusting after Nathan. Hands off my men! Although neither of them was really mine, were they?
‘Nope, just me. I came to see Zack, but actually, can I ask you a couple of questions?’
She looked me up and down. ‘I thought you were the chef?’
‘I was moonlighting. This is my real job.’ I carefully didn’t elaborate on what ‘this’ was. I’d found that if I just turned up and started asking questions, people assumed I was a police officer without me having to lie about it. It was always best not to risk getting arrested for impersonating a police officer.
She looked at me thoughtfully. ‘Hmm… Does this mean you know what killed Jeremy?’
I smiled, noncommittally. ‘I might do.’
She glanced around, then shrugged and walked into the hotel bar. I followed. She seated herself at a table and looked at me expectantly. I smiled and went to sit down, but her expression changed into something disapproving, so I shot to my feet again.
‘Er…’
‘I’m kinda thirsty after that walk,’ she said. Ah, right. So the dog wasn’t the only Princess around here.
‘Of course. Can I get you a drink?’ I asked, thinking, I wonder if I can put in an expenses claim for this? But I was an unpaid consultant, so it seemed unlikely.
‘I’ll have a glass of Deep Sea,’ she said. Please, I added silently. I went to the bar and rang the bell – it was the middle of the afternoon and there was no one around – and waited for the bartender to show. His smile faltered somewhat when he saw Kimi sitting at the table, but he was a professional and it was back before I’d even had time to properly register it was gone.
‘What can I get you?’
‘Could I have a cup of tea, please?’ I asked. I hadn’t realised it before but I was gasping for one. ‘And something called a ‘Deep Sea’ for Miss Takahashi, whatever that is.’
‘Of course,’ said the bartender with a smile. ‘I’ll bring it over. That’s £18.50, please.’
£18.50? For two drinks? Kimi must have ordered a champagne cocktail or something. At this time of day, with her being a social media healthy-eating guru as well. ‘Charge it to Miss Takahashi’s room,’ I said brightly, and he winked.
‘Right you are.’
I joined Kimi, who was fussing over a speck of imaginary dirt at the corner of Princess’s eye. She needs to have a baby, I thought sardonically, as Germaine settled herself across my feet with a loud, echoey, and unapologeticall
y pungent fart. Daisy had gone through a phase when she was a toddler of getting into my pot plants – and I mean, literally getting into my pot plants – and of rolling around the muddiest reaches of her grandparents’ back gardens. I’d soon learnt that 1) dirt washes off, and 2) there’s no point washing it off until bedtime, because the little darling will undoubtedly be covered in mud again the next time you turn around. Becoming a parent really gives you a much more relaxed idea of what number of stains on an item of clothing is socially acceptable (clue: it’s more than you’d think), and exactly how dirty your child needs to get before you really have to change their outfit.
‘She’s a lovely dog,’ I said, more to get on Kimi’s good side than because I actually thought that, because to tell you the truth, the dog had a definite look of drowned rat about her. But it worked because Kimi graced me with a smile and her whole face changed. She really was beautiful. I definitely had to keep her away from Nathan…
‘She’s a pedigree,’ said Kimi. ‘She’s very sensitive to the emotions and atmosphere around her. She can sense when I’m upset or worried.’
‘Yes, that’s why dogs make such great companions,’ I said, as my own loyal, sensitive companion let rip with another one. Kimi’s perfect nose wrinkled. I ignored both the noise and the smell. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to see how everyone is today. I heard about your sister being quite sick in the night.’
‘Uh-huh,’ said Kimi, although she didn’t look or sound terribly sympathetic. ‘At least she had Zack to take care of her.’ Her disapproving expression told me everything I needed to know about her feelings on that relationship.
‘Yes, it’s quite sweet really,’ I said. ‘He obviously really likes her.’
She sniffed. ‘Does he? I don’t know. Too many times, men have used my sister to get to me.’
I think you’re deluded, love, I thought, but I just smiled. ‘I’m sure that’s been true in the past, but Zack strikes me as completely sincere. Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I really wanted to know if you were taken ill at any point last night?’
She shook her head firmly. ‘No, I wasn’t. I have a very strong constitution. I don’t know if you follow me on Instagram…’ I diplomatically didn’t say anything, because of course I didn’t flipping follow her on Instagram. ‘I’ve talked extensively about the importance of clean, healthy eating. I follow a plant-based diet. I just can’t eat anything that has a face.’
Bacon doesn’t have a face, I thought stubbornly. Nor do sausages. Or cheeseburgers.
‘A vegetarian or vegan diet is definitely healthier than eating a lot of red meat,’ I agreed. ‘But there are some things I couldn’t give up. Like fish. Gino said you do occasionally allow yourself a piece of fish—’
‘If it’s sustainably sourced, yes,’ she interrupted. ‘Wild rather than farmed, line-caught, dolphin-friendly…’
The bartender came over with a tray. He placed a pretty china tea pot, milk jug, and cup in front of me, and a glass of water in front of Kimi.
‘Your tea, madam, and your Deep Sea, miss.’
‘Hold on, what’s that?’ I asked the bartender, but Kimi waved him away. I turned to her. ‘No, I think he’s made a mistake. He’s given you a glass of water.’
‘Yes, Deep Sea water.’
‘But he charged me eighteen quid for this round!’ I said, staggered – though of course I hadn’t actually paid for it; the movie company would. ‘What the heck is Deep Sea water?’
She looked at me like I was mad. ‘It’s deep sea water. The name, like, literally tells you what it is. It’s sourced from three thousand feet below the surface, from a remote archipelago off the coast of Hawaii. It’s full of minerals and electrolytes. I asked the hotel to ship it over from the States specially for me. It’s the only water I drink.’
‘But that glass must have cost about fifteen quid…’ I said weakly.
‘What price sustainability and the natural goodness of the sea?’ she said piously, but of course it was easy for her to say that when the production company would be footing the bill. Not to mention paying for it to be flown in a terribly environmentally unfriendly fashion all the way across the Atlantic to Cornwall.
‘But sea water… Isn’t it salty?’
She looked at me like not only was I mad, but I was also wearing a straightjacket and dribbling onto my chin. ‘Of course it isn’t. It’s been desalinated. It’s the cleanest, smoothest, crispest-tasting water in the world.’
‘Oh right… Can I have a sip?’
‘No.’
Germaine lifted her tail and gave us her opinion on the world’s cleanest, smoothest, most ridiculously expensive water, and I had to admit I agreed with her, despite being slightly concerned about what she’d been eating to become that flatulent. I poured myself a cup of tea, by now feeling like an absolute peasant with a farty mongrel for a pet.
‘Anyway…’ I had to get this conversation back on track after the unexpected derailing. ‘So you were telling me about the fish…?’
‘Uh-huh. Zack gave everyone a piece and I said I’d eat it, because he’d done it especially for my birthday…’ For your sister’s birthday, you mean, I thought, but I restrained myself from saying it out loud.
‘So you did eat it?’
‘No.’ She smiled at me, one of those aren’t-I-terrible-but-everyone-still-loves-me kind of smiles. ‘I felt kinda bad about it, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat it.’
‘What happened to it? Did you give it to Jeremy?’
‘No, I didn’t want Zack to see me get rid of it, so I gave it to my beautiful baby.’ She picked up the dog and held her to her face, snuggling into her and making baby noises. I gaped at her in disbelief and she got defensive, obviously thinking I was judging her pet-care skills, but I really wasn’t. ‘Princess loves fish,’ she pouted. ‘The oils are totally good for her hair.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know,’ I said. ‘That was why you were so annoyed at Zack, wasn’t it? When he mentioned the pufferfish, you were terrified that you’d inadvertently poisoned Princess.’
She nodded. ‘Yes, I was. I was so scared, like you would not believe. I sat up with her all night, waiting for her to get ill. The guilt! How could I have lived with myself if she died, because of something I’d fed her?’
‘She looks perky enough now, though,’ I said.
‘Of course she is. She didn’t get sick,’ said Kimi. ‘So what was it that killed Jeremy?’
What indeed. Because if the pufferfish really had been contaminated enough to kill a fully grown man, whose insides must have been pickled and preserved in alcohol after years of drinking, how come it hadn’t knocked over the small dog currently sitting in her owner’s arms, sniffing delicately at the air and trying to get her tongue into a glass of the World’s Most Ridiculously Expensive Water™?
Chapter Nineteen
‘That’s interesting…’ said Nathan. I’d been worried that he might decline my call after I’d forced him to talk to his old detective superintendent, but he’d answered on the second ring.
‘That’s what I thought,’ I said. ‘Kimi said that Zack dished up the fish and gave everyone roughly the same amount, so Princess ate just as much as Jeremy. So why wasn’t she ill? How come a small dog could eat the same amount of supposedly contaminated fish and not die?’
‘How come Jeremy died at all, when everyone else was just sick?’ mused Nathan.
‘Because it wasn’t the fish,’ I said. I heard Nathan groan. ‘Don’t be like that! You were having niggles as well. I bet you, when the lab get back to you about the fish guts, it’ll be negative.’
‘That’s not why I was groaning,’ he said, and I could hear amusement in his voice. ‘I’m groaning because I have the horrible feeling you might be right. Which means…’
‘Which means it was murder.’ I felt a thrill run through me, and thought, Oh my God, am I a terrible person or what? But I couldn’t help it. I felt like Sherlock Holmes. The game is af
oot!
‘Well…’ Nathan sounded a cautious note. ‘We can’t say that for sure. Maybe the toxin naturally occurred in something else?’
I rolled my eyes, which was completely pointless as he was on the other end of the phone and couldn’t see. ‘Oh come on—’
‘You’re rolling your eyes, aren’t you? I can tell, you know.’
What is this witchcraft? I thought.
‘No,’ I lied. ‘But tell me this: how would tetra-whatever-it-is – pufferfish toxin – how would that come to be in any other food? Unless someone put it there?’
Nathan was quiet for a moment and I swear I could hear him thinking. ‘Okay,’ he said eventually. ‘So what food was it in? What did Jeremy and the others who were sick eat, but Kimi didn’t?’
‘Kimi gave me a lecture on the evils of sugar,’ I said. ‘She said she hadn’t eaten it since 2017.’
‘What?’
‘I know, right? And get this. She’s not diabetic or anything; she gave it up voluntarily. She voluntarily gave up biscuits.’
‘And chocolate?’
‘And cake. I mean, are you really even alive if you don’t eat cake?’
Nathan laughed. ‘So you won’t be following her advice, then?’
‘Not any time soon, no. So anyway, I’m assuming from that that she didn’t eat any of the cupcakes.’
‘And we still don’t know where they came from?’
‘Nope. I’m still at the hotel though, so I can ask around the cast.’
‘Okay,’ said Nathan. ‘Just don’t upset anyone…’
‘Who, me? I will be the soul of discretion.’
Nathan laughed. ‘Yeah, I bet you will be…’
I grinned at the phone, but again, it was completely pointless because he couldn’t see me. But hopefully he knew what I was doing. We did seem to be very much in sync… And that thought made me feel sad, because it would be impossible to be in sync with him if he was in Liverpool while I was in Penstowan.