“I thought you would wait!” he shouts back. “I tried to hint around without forcing you to make a choice. I have shit going on that you can’t be a part of, Valley. When I get it sorted—when I GOT it sorted,” he corrects himself and zaps this beating organ in my chest with one past-tense word, “I was coming back.”
“Excuse me for not being a mind reader. And that doesn’t even make sense because of all the stuff you said in the car the very next day.”
“You weren’t supposed to be there. I was meeting someone and needed you to leave before they saw you.”
I scoff, remembering the feeling I had that day that he was meeting up with another girl. “Joss? Is that who you were meeting?”
“No, Joss is just a friend. I told you that already.” He hesitates before adding, “It was someone who could possibly know your father.”
I gasp.
“I wanted you far away from there, and you wouldn’t go. So…I hurt you. It was stupid, but that was all I could think to do so that you would leave.”
My chest is tight with fear, but not for me, for him. This is not the world he needs to be drawn into. It’s a dark and scary place that can dim the most beautiful of souls. Look at my own mother. She’s lucky she’s still alive. As am I.
Gray is the best man I’ve ever known. There isn't anyone more compassionate or loyal to those he loves. Even if he didn’t say he was directly involved with my father, he still hinted at knowing someone who could have some sort of ties with Dominic. Which pretty much means he’s headed down the wrong path.
“Please just tell me what you’re involved in, what’s going on with you that would get you sucked into Dominic’s circle? Maybe I can help you. Maybe I could talk to Mom and she might know something.” My voice squeaks, frightened for his safety.
“No,” he thunders, “that would make things way worse on ALL of us.”
We both stand here, chest to chest, the air crackling around us. I could scream at him right now. He’s dealing with something I probably know a thing or two about, yet he still holds me at arm’s length.
“How can I help you fix your problems if you won’t even let me in?” I whisper.
“I never asked you to fix my problems. I’m a grown man.” His words are like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. The harshness of them brings me back to reality in an instant.
Ugh. This infuriating, impossible man.
I don’t know what to do. I need to go back to the party, but my heart wants to stay right here despite the fact everything is different now. I’m torn, and I still don’t even know if he cares the way he supposedly once did.
“Do you love me?” Did I just ask him out loud? Oh, well. To hell with it. I’m going to own that shit. Taking a deep breath, I say my next words in a rush. “You once told me you did, the last night I saw you…but was that the truth or just you confusing desire for love?”
He scowls at me now, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s rather insulting you’d think I don’t know the difference between love and lust, V. I’d had sex with plenty of other girls before I ever met you. I was twenty-four years old. You don’t think I know when my feelings for you are in a completely different league from anyone else I’ve ever known?”
“I mean, I would hope so. But people do that all the time,” I reply, realizing he didn’t actually answer yes or no.
He regards me thoughtfully, like he’s really pondering something big, before narrowing his eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that one. People mistake their true feelings for lust all the time. Should have seen that one coming…” he mumbles to himself, “I was only the first person you had sex with.”
I reel back, stung by his words even though I probably deserve them. “You’re not being fair…” I grip his forearms and squeeze, shaking slightly as I speak.
“Life isn’t fair,” he interjects before I can say anything else.
And round, and round, and round we go. We take several steps forward but we keep coming back to this—me having sex with someone else.
I’m not really sure where my next onslaught of words comes from, other than it just pours out without much forethought. But then again, that’s how the best speeches usually do come about—unpracticed, unwritten, and straight from the heart. “When two people love each other, Gray, they tell each other everything. They don’t keep secrets. There are no walls up between them, and through the good and the bad, they stick with each other. They try to make things easier for their partner. They try to fix each other’s problems, and if a problem is too big to be solved, then they trudge through that shit together meeting it head-on as a team. Just let me in!” I cry in frustration, stomping my foot on the ground as I say the last words.
He quirks an eyebrow at me. “I noticed you said when two people love each other. Does that mean you love me, V?” He places a finger over my lips before I can answer. “Don’t answer that. You’ve never said it before, and if you ever do, I want it to be perfect. Not in some powder room where your date waits just down the hall. Not when I can’t make any of the declarations you deserve to hear.”
My heart is jack-hammering in my chest as he mindlessly caresses my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. His other hand moves up to the top of his shirt, and he begins unbuttoning it, baring his chest to me. A silver chain hangs between his pecs, but I can’t see what’s at the end until he pops open a few more buttons.
I begin sobbing uncontrollably. The new tattoo I had noticed that night when he swooped in out of nowhere at the club and brought me to my apartment to make love, the one I couldn’t see due to the dimmed lights…it’s visible to me now.
Right over his heart, is the most detailed tattoo of a heart that I’ve ever laid eyes on, and right in the center of the depiction, almost like the muscle has been stabbed by the point and is now embedded there, sits a large letter V. The letter takes up the better part of the picture, but is expertly molded in so that it can only be seen if you know what you’re looking for.
Hanging at the end of the chain is his mother’s ring, my consolation prize, as I had thought of it. My hands trace the planes of his chest and come to rest over the top of the tattoo. His heart throbs beneath me when his large palms encase my hands.
“Before we walk out of this room, I want you to know something. No matter what happens, no matter the choices you make or I make, this between us is real. It’s special. It means something—everything—to me. And you may not see this now, but my feelings for you drive every single decision I make and have made. So please, forgive me for what I said to you that day and forgive me for anything I might do in the future. There’s a lot you don’t understand, but you have to realize what I feel for you in unchanging. That’s non-negotiable.” Releasing me, he reaches behind his neck and unlatches the chain, bringing it down to slide the ring off and into his open palm.
“Do you just carry that around everywhere?” My tightened voice barely leaves my mouth. I frantically swipe at my lashes, making a mental note to clean up my face before leaving the room.
His lips twitch as he answers, “Not until the last person who wore it was you.” He grasps my hand once more and slides the ring back in place where I should have left it, to begin with. My heart is beating so hard, a wild gallop, yet I feel nothing but elation. I don’t even worry about how I’ll explain to Pierce my reasoning behind suddenly procuring a diamond ring on my trip to the bathroom. He moves my hand from side to side, causing the diamonds on it to catch on the lights overhead.
“My mother gave me this after she told me she was sick. She said it was her favorite, and to give it to the woman I wanted to marry. I’m not asking you to marry me or anything, so don’t freak out on me now.” He throws me a charming smirk. “I just know that after you, there will be no one else...There will be no one who can match or surpass the intensity of my feelings for you. Period. So, you keep it safe and wear it knowing how I really feel. I should have just told you all this, to begin with,”
he huffs. “It’s a promise that as long as I have breath in my body, this heart,” he moves my hand and places it in the center of his chest, over my tattoo, “beats only for you.” With burning intensity, his eyes find mine once more as he takes the ring up to his lips and places a chaste kiss on it.
“I know everything is fucked between us right now, and neither of us knows where we’ll be tomorrow. You could have to up and leave, and with the shit I’m mixed up in, I’m sort of living on the edge myself. I have no right to ask you to wait for me, but if you feel like you want to, then I promise I’ll always be yours. I don’t care if by some crazy force of the universe it’s twenty years down the road and I’m married to someone—which will never happen by the way—I’m yours. And if you don’t want to wait for me to sort my life out and get my shit together, I’m still yours regardless.”
“Gray…” I whisper, completely speechless.
He pulls me to him, reaching up to pull the pins from my up-do which is now completely destroyed. He brushes the hair over one shoulder before tucking my head under his chin. We stand there for a few minutes that almost feel like centuries, which still wouldn’t be long enough. When he pulls away, he places one last lingering kiss on my lips.
“You’re still keeping me in the dark,” I accuse.
“For your own good.” His gruff voice cuts through the silence of the room as I grasp at straws, desperate to prolong our time together for every extra second I can.
When I finally sense he’s not going to cave, and that I’m completely hopeless in my abilities to help him, I give up. At least for the time being. “Please stay safe then.”
He nods, sticking his hand in his pocket to draw out my shredded underwear with a shit-eating grin, before stuffing them back inside as he slides around me and out the door.
I take a few more moments to gather my thoughts, or rather, to bottle my thoughts and put them away to rehash later on. After I clean myself up and readjust my dress, I smooth my hair the best I can, which isn’t saying too much.
And it just so happens I notice a mark on my neck. The bastard just couldn’t resist fucking marking me knowing I’m here with someone else. A giggle escapes my lips and I realize I’m not even mad this time. I’m too damn happy to care about anything. Artfully, I drape my hair over that shoulder instead. I don’t miss the way my eyes dance with a glittering happiness that’s been missing for far too long. I’d become so accustomed to their dullness, I never even knew the light had disappeared.
I step out into the hallway and head back to the charity banquet and when I approach Gray at the end of the corridor, huddled up with two other influential looking men who are deep in hushed conversation, I act like I don’t see him. But even as I pass, I can feel his eyes gliding over me, caressing me so wholly, I can hardly distinguish the difference between a mere glance and skin-on-skin contact. It feels nearly the same as a few minutes ago, with his feverish touch, electrifying my skin and warming me from the inside out.
I make my way back into the hotel ballroom, slide back into the seat next to Pierce, and resume the role of grateful and gracious date.
Chapter Sixteen
Gray
AS IF I’VE been ensnared by some black-magic spell and fallen victim to her sorcery, my disobedient eyes follow her every move. All other bullshit being spouted by the two men flanking me fades away. Her beauty is entrancing; she’s so damn perfect it takes my breath away. Then it dawns on me, snapping me out of my trance like a blow to the head…She’s heading back in there to sit with her date. And my whole fucking chest squeezes like it never has before, stealing my breath even more. I force my attention back to the two bozos beside me, re-fixating on the conversation at hand. I have a position to maintain. A job to do, and the quicker the better.
Stay focused. Don’t fuck up now, Gray.
It isn’t a choice, but a requirement.
I can’t obsess over her, no matter how bent out of shape her and her actions make me. Every time I travel to this town for business, I know there’s a chance of running into Valley and endangering this entire operation; of her figuring it all out and then hating me as passionately as she once cared for me. But those few stolen moments with her—they were worth every risk.
Even if I lost her love, what I’m doing would still be worth it, because I couldn’t stand losing her. A world without V is one I could never live in.
“My boss is willing to meet with the both of you at the end of the month. But a word to the wise…you need to rethink your figures and be reasonable. He’s not going to go for what you’re proposing. He’s a very busy man, and if I feel like you’re wasting my time, he’s going to feel the same way. Not a good thing, fellows, trust me.” I slap them both on the back, humored by the deep shade of red—a shade I wasn’t even aware a human could achieve without being in the throes of a heart attack—on the face of the bigger man. Maybe he’ll drop dead. He’s a no-good prick of the highest caliber anyway, and I’m not saying that lightly.
This isn’t my favorite job, and these tasks I’ve been handling since I’ve been in town are far from being my desirable assignments. But I respect the man I work for. Now, my boss’s boss on the other hand? From day one I’ve hated that bastard with every fiber of my being.
“Good talk,” I add for good measure before striding back into the ballroom. I can’t help but scan the sea of faces until my eyes land on the redhead in the sapphire dress.
Sapphire really suits her.
She’s sitting next to her date again, and I realize why the name Pierce sounded so familiar to me earlier. It’s the same prick I stopped her from leaving with from the club before. Damn him.
But I can’t help the smug satisfaction that glides right over me as I take notice of the way she’s acting. She smiles at him as he’s talking to her, but her eyes tell me she’s not paying a lick of attention. Besides all that, I can tell even from here, her smile isn’t genuine. It’s the polite one she gives when she’s trying to be well-mannered.
It’s not the one she gives when she’s amused.
It’s not the one that begins to tug at the corners of her mouth as she fights against throwing her head back in laughter. Yeah, when I see that one I know she’s about to lose said fight.
And most importantly, it sure as fuck isn’t the one she reserves for me. That smile is my favorite because it’s mine and mine alone.
She’s poised and respectful but detached, and if that douchebag knew anything about her he would realize all that. I feel the deep scowl that settles over my face, and I beam it across the room and straight at his back. He’s all dressed up in his pretty-boy attire, with his pretty-boy hairstyle and a crisp tie to match. Can’t forget the perfectly polished shoes topped off with a Rolex. Never mind the fact I’m dressed up just as fancy-fucking-schmancy. I have to be. He probably dresses like this 24/7. Hell, he probably goes to sleep in a special three-piece suit, rolls out of bed and chooses a fresh one to start the day.
This weak, little piss-ant is not the kind of man my girl is attracted to. He can’t be. And she fucked him? I fight the urge to smack myself in the forehead with disdain. But wait, a simple thought occurs to me and I’m grinning smugly: He’s not the type of man who could ever satisfy her.
I relax a little.
I still don’t understand why she’d put herself at risk being at a function like this. I’m lucky—she’s lucky— I was at this one, able to watch and have some sort of hand in ensuring her safety, but it’s worrisome.
How many other events like this has she been to?
Is she reckless with her own life nowadays? That’s pretty much borderline being suicidal considering the man that’s after her and her mother. This is definitely something that will need to be addressed. How is it I didn’t think to turn her over my knee and spank her bottom until it was rosy? Or at the very least, make the point while I was making my other one back in the powder room.
Thoughts of the powder room have me adjusting mysel
f as I take the seat beside Joss again. She quirks an eyebrow questioningly at me but turns back to the conversation she’s having with the lady across from her. She doesn’t care what I’m up to. I could probably tell her of my endeavors and it would amuse her. Our relationship just isn’t like that. We’re friends and that’s that.
I smile to myself, thinking back to how we first met.
It had been two weeks of living in New Jersey with Jameson. He had called in someone to take my measurements, insisting that I look the part by switching up my wardrobe. If I were to ever be considered for fitting into Dom’s tight-knit circle of associates and acquaintances, a change in style was necessary. It was a world I knew nothing about, and the only thing I had going for me was the fact I was a quick learner and could easily adapt to situations.
For the fourteen days leading up to the first time I would meet my true mortal enemy—the man I hated more than anyone else on the planet, yet had somehow never seen with my own two eyes—Jameson forced me to refine my mannerisms. He hammered a different accent into me. One I had to practice and practice and practice some more. Apparently, his brother had some type of aversion to people in the south. He thought we were all good-for-nothing hicks with no head on our shoulders, and therefore, not suitable or useful to his organization.
Fucking pigheaded bastard.
So, Jameson hired a speech specialist to help rid me of my southern twang as the man liked to call it. Then he hired a woman named Joss to teach me about the proper etiquette of the upper class. Everything from freaking silverware set-ups to socializing skills. Somehow, Joss and I even became friends. If I wasn’t completely obsessed with my V, I’d have been trying to hook up with her. Not only was she close to my age, she was witty. Funny. Gorgeous. And, from the way she was known to get extra flirty and sometimes stare at me a little too long, I could tell she was attracted to me too. Luckily, Joss respected Jameson too much to act on said attraction, so things never got uncomfortable. Having helped her through some rough time she was having, he did her the favor of a lifetime by ensuring she received the skills to set up some revenge plot she’d been working on for years. To my knowledge, the quest was still ongoing but, as they say, the best revenge is the one well-thought out. A dish best served cold and out of the blue. Or some shit like that.
Love on the Rise: Book Two of The Against All Odds Series Page 15