Healing Hearts 10: The Scars That Bind Us

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  As he explained, Cavanaugh seemed more nervous.

  “Shit, maybe she just likes you and not Flynn and Knight? Maybe it’s just something special with both of you having PTSD.”

  “Well you have it, too, and the way she just looked at you and you at her meeting for the first time. I think something is there. If it is, Cavanaugh, this could get crazy fast, and dangerous.”

  “You’re telling me, Cavanaugh. Her father is basically working for or with Fredrico Porcini and Topaz. You’ll eventually tell her about Topaz being the one to cause your scars?”

  “You’re jumping way ahead. Let’s see how lunch goes and what walls she puts up afterwards. I’m not the only one resisting feeling vulnerable.”

  “Neither am I,” Cavanaugh replied.

  Chapter 6

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell is this?” Porcini asked Topaz. They were looking at some pictures that were just sent to them by the men spying on Joanna.

  “I know that one.”

  “What? How? Why would she be with a man with a limp, and one with scars like that on his face and neck?” he asked.

  “My handy work. I actually thought he was dead.”

  “You know him? You did that to him? Explain?” Porcini asked.

  Topaz smirked as he explained the story about Fallujah, and nearly getting caught by Special Forces soldiers. “We took out more than ten of them. It was a massacre, so I don’t understand how this one survived, but this makes it interesting.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, if he’s screwing Joanna along with that brother of his, it will be double the pleasure when I take her away forever.”

  “I won’t be easy, taking her from that town, with all those people around. Her brothers, the cousins, the type of men around there. I’m not sure I like this. I want more information on them. On scar face and his brothers. Nothing is coincidental,” Porcini said.

  Topaz nodded his head and then exited the room. He would love to look into these men and their current positions in the military, if they were even active. Then maybe he would have even more reason to take Joanna away from them sooner than later like he wanted to.

  * * * *

  Cavanaugh and Leif both placed their hands at Joanna’s waist and guided her through the restaurant. The hostess brought them to a table outside on the corner of the dock that was private, and had a large umbrella blocking some of the sun. It was pretty warm out.

  “We could eat inside if this is too hot for you?” Cavanagh asked her.

  “Oh no, this is good. I’ve been inside all morning, and the next two days I’ll be inside and won’t be able to enjoy the weather,” she told him. They sat down on either side of her and the waitress came over to take their drink order. He listened to the tone of her voice, soft, sweet, and the way she held the woman’s gaze, making eye contact and smiling.

  Then she looked at him. He was so impressed, so affected by her beauty, that he didn’t say a word and just stared at her. Then finally he got his shit together when she looked away after he made her feel uncomfortable and Leif gave his leg a kick under the table.

  “You said you’ll be inside the next two days, why is that?” he asked.

  The waitress bought over her water with lemon and their two bottles of Bud Light.

  “I have an intense training session tomorrow, then recovery, sports massage and prep for competition Saturday.”

  “Competition? Where and in what?” Cavanaugh asked.

  “Combination martial arts. It’s Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwon Do, Muay Thai, and freestyle. It takes place at the Dome events center in Sussex.”

  “Damn, you must be good. Are you a black belt in all those studies?” he asked, and looked at her as she unzipped her light hooded jacket. It was pretty warm outside and he wondered why she wore the light zip up.

  “I’m advanced in all of them, and can teach, as well.”

  “That’s impressive. Then add in your personal training, how do you find time for yourself?” Leif asked.

  “I like to keep busy, and that is for myself. Martial arts calm me, and well, personal training is rewarding,” she added, and then took a sip from her water.

  The drinks came and the waitress asked what they wanted. Him and Leif ordered burgers and Joanna ordered grilled salmon with salad, and confirmed the ounces on the fish with the waitress.

  “Are you in the competition in Sussex this Saturday?” the waitress asked her.

  “Yes, how did you know?”

  “A couple of other people ordered the same thing you did yesterday and today, and they mentioned watching weight for competition. I don’t know how you all do it. Good luck,” she said.

  “Thank you,” Joanna replied.

  “You have to cut weight?” Cavanaugh asked.

  She took off her sweatshirt and damn she looked incredible. Her tank top accentuated her full breasts, and the definition in her arms and shoulders were incredible. She was definitely physically fit. Here he was drinking beer at lunch and eating a burger. Well he was in great physical condition, despite his leg. He wondered if she noticed. Would that turn her off? Maybe think he was less athletic or capable?

  “This is a highly competitive competition, and in order to eliminate the number of competitors per category, they enforce weight classes,” she told them.

  “It’s like wrestling then, and people can avoid certain competition by losing weight or gaining?” Leif asked.

  She smiled. “Exactly, except I’m not running away from anyone, I’m running right for them.”

  “There’s someone you’re set on beating?” he asked, holding her gaze.

  “Two someone’s.” She smiled.

  “Both exceptional athletes and have been involved in martial arts for a lot longer than I have been. However, Donny and Kudo, mostly, he’s my teacher, think I’m more than ready.”

  “That’s so cool and you must be very focused,” he said to her.

  “Do you do other kinds of competitions, as well?” Leif asked, and she squinted at him.

  “You looked up information on me so why not tell me?” The waitress came over with their food.

  Once she walked away, Leif continued.

  “Just what was on the website at the gym and dojo. It showed some pictures,” he said, and smiled.

  “I compete in martial arts contests and also bodybuilding, a Miss Fit type of thing on the beach, that has grown in leaps and bounds. Last year was my first time.”

  “If I recall correctly you took first place,” Leif said.

  “Yes, I did, but now there are going to be double the contestants, but I don’t think about it until it’s like a week away. I’m focused on what needs to be done today, and tomorrow is another day and it starts all over again,” she said and then took a forkful of her salmon and started eating.

  “What about you guys? What types of training and extracurricular activities are you involved in?” she asked.

  “We keep sharp and do a lot of training we’re used to from the military. Martial arts, hand-to-hand combat maneuvers, grappling, ground control and boxing,” Cavanaugh told her.

  “I love boxing and grappling. It can be fun, but also can get crazy.”

  “Don’t tell me you do that with Donny or Kudo? Roll around on the mats with them,” Leif asked very seriously.

  She put her fork down and took a sip of water. She then placed it down and leaned back.

  “Of course I do, and others who train, as well.”

  Leif exhaled and looked away.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I don’t like it.” He eyed her over and Cavanaugh was surprised by his brother’s instantly possessive response, yet felt the same way. It bothered him, made him jealous thinking about other men touching her, rolling around with her.

  “You don’t like it? What does that mean?” she asked.

  Cavanaugh needed to intervene or things could go south fast.

  “I think what he’s saying is that
if you need other partners, ones who you can trust and who are good, we’re available.” He stared into her eyes and her face went flush. She then lowered her eyes and began to eat. Cavanaugh looked at Leif but he was watching her.

  When they finished lunch and headed back to the parking lot, Leif stopped short, turned around and faced her. Cavanaugh placed his hands on her shoulders and she tightened up.

  “When can we see you again?” he asked her, closing the space between them. Leif put his hand on her hip and one against her cheek.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Sure you do.”

  “What do you mean? I’m busy this weekend.”

  “You could invite us to the competition.”

  She was silent. “My brothers and cousins will be there and some friends, too.

  “We’re friends, right?” Leif asked her.

  “Maybe we’ll make her nervous,” Cavanaugh added, and lowered his lips to her shoulder and kissed her there. She gasped, but then Leif calmed her.

  “We want to spend more time with you. Want to support you at the event since it means so much to you, but if you’ll be too nervous with us there, maybe we can meet afterwards,” he suggested.

  “No, I wouldn’t be nervous, and it’s a public venue, anyone can go. Afterwards my friends and brothers are all going to Corporal’s.”

  Cavanaugh kissed her neck and whispered into her ear. “Invite us to come,” he said to her.

  “Tell us you want us there. Want to explore this further,” Leif said to her.

  “If you want to, it could be fun and we can get to know one another more and—”

  Leif kissed her, stopping her from talking, and Cavanaugh had to laugh. Then when he released her lips Cavanaugh slid his arm around her waist and held her gaze.

  “The wait is finally over,” he said, and moved his lips towards her. She tightened up and turned so his lips hit her cheek and the corner of her mouth. He was shocked, and a bit hurt that she didn’t want him to kiss her. “What’s wrong? Did I read this incorrectly? The attraction we feel?” he asked.

  She closed her eyes and exhaled as she gripped onto his shirt. “God, this is what I was afraid of.”

  Leif placed his hands on her shoulders and Joanna was now between them. She opened her eyes and Cavanaugh could see the tears in them.

  “If you don’t like me, like you do Leif, then so be it.” He looked away and her hands started to fall, and Jesus, he was a mess right now and so fucking hurt. He didn’t even know Joanna, how the fuck could she have a hold on him? Now she didn’t want him kissing her? She wasn’t attracted to him?

  He started to pull back and her hands gripped his shirt and then she shook her head.

  “I enjoyed spending lunch with both of you.”

  He held her gaze. “Uhm…okay, so you’re older. A lot more experienced than I am.”

  “Is that a problem?” he asked, and he couldn’t resist stroking her jaw with his pointer, then sliding in along her chin and tilting it up toward him when she lowered her eyes at his retort.

  She looked at him. “Leif is the first man I’ve allowed to kiss me…in a long time.” She added in the long time as an afterthought, it sounded like.

  “You’re on a roll. No point in stopping now, unless you don’t feel the same attraction to me that you do to my brother,” he said, and gave her a small smile.

  She smirked. “Hmm, seems you’re a flirt huh?”

  “You bring it out in me, baby.” She held his gaze. “One little kiss to hold me off, to let me and Leif know you’re interested, but that you need slow.”

  “I don’t know what I can offer you right now. I haven’t thought about dating anyone, and certainly not more than one man.”

  “We’ll work on gaining your trust, letting you see we are the real deal.”

  “We definitely will. There’s a lot to learn about one another, and the best way to do that is to spend time together,” Leif added.

  She held Cavanaugh’s gaze. “Okay then, let’s see what happens.” She tilted her head up toward him, and the second she closed her eyes he pressed his lips to hers and was shocked by how much he felt. When he finally released her lips, her eyes were still closed, then fluttered open, making him feel like a god. He brushed his thumb along her lip.

  “You are quite the surprise, Joanna. I can’t wait to see you again,” he said, and she nibbled her bottom lip and then said good-bye before she got into her jeep and left.

  “Goddamn, you were lucky I was here bro, you nearly screwed that up,” Cavanaugh teased.

  “Fuck you, I did not. I think you almost did, trying to just kiss her when you just met her.”

  “You met her one time before and she was a no-show at your scheduled meet up at the gallery, so who was pushy?”

  “You are so full of crap,” Leif replied.

  Cavanaugh laughed louder. “You basically told her you were jealous of her rolling around on the mats with other men and you aren’t even dating her yet.”

  “I was jealous.”

  “She took to us nicely. I like her. A lot. I can see why we all feel that attraction, but damn is it going to be tough going slow. She hasn’t dated a man, or let a man kiss her in a long time it sounded like.”

  “Tell me about it. I wonder what’s a long time. Months, years, what? Now I really want to know how she has PTSD like we do, and whether or not that’s why she doesn’t date.”

  “We’ll find out. Let’s head home and talk to Flynn and Knight then get back to business. The sooner this case ends, the more relaxed I’ll feel.”

  “Yeah, and the more time we’ll have to focus on Joanna.”

  * * * *

  “Okay, spill the beans girl!” Melina said over the phone.

  Jo chuckled. “Spill what beans?” she asked as she finished showering and was getting ready for bed.

  “Your little lunch date with two super sexy, mysterious soldiers, that’s what beans.”

  “How in the world?” Joanna began to say, but then she remembered when she walked into the restaurant that she caught sight of a woman Melina worked with. She was at lunch with her boyfriends.

  “Cassidy, huh? Well, it wasn’t a date. It’s been crazy.”

  “Do tell. I want details. You never say yes to any man.”

  “Well, this just snuck up and bit me.”

  Melina laughed. “Figured it would have to be something like that or even more dramatic, but I think we’ve all had enough danger and chaos to last us all a while.”

  Joanna felt her gut clench. “I know what you mean, but actually, it is kind of complicated. My brothers and well, cousins that I really never mentioned before, are pissed about it.”

  “Cousins?” Melina asked, and Joanna went on explaining about her cousins, and how they really aren’t cousins and how there was bad blood anyway between the two fathers. She then explained how she met Leif.

  “Oh God, he has scars on his face?”

  “Neck, cheek, and below his eye. Deep ones, too. Like from a knife attack I’m assuming. I don’t know, but it didn’t bother me. I guess because of my own scars.”

  “The scars you have never spoken about, but instead indulge in crazy workout routines to eliminate any sadness over them.”

  “It helps with the PTSD, as well.”

  “Maybe if he has scars, Leif has PTSD, as well?”

  “I think so, and maybe even Cavanaugh. He has a limp I think. It’s not terrible but he favors one leg. They’re in exceptional physical condition.”

  “From my understanding they are super hot, older, and were very attentive to you.”

  “Oh God, it was crazy,” she said and went on to explain more. By the time she finished talking things through with Melina, she felt a bit better, and like taking this chance.

  “So they’ll be at the competition Saturday?”

  “I don’t know. They said they wanted me to invite them and I told them it was a public event.”

  “You are tough.”


  “I really need this to go slowly. I’m not sure how I feel about kissing them, and knowing that Flynn and Knight are interested in me, as well.”

  “Oh God, those two are fierce. Not very friendly to most people might I add, except to you. They spoke to you at the hospital. That’s what Avery told me.”

  “Avery knows about the date?”

  “Are you kidding me? Saber got a call from Ranger after a friend of his was asking about you. I don’t know. Probably one of your brothers because he didn’t tell me who. I overheard Saber and Brick talking about it.”

  “Great. Well, you only met my brothers once in the last two years since we’ve been friends. I didn’t think they knew a lot of people.”

  “Soldiers around here always wind up knowing one another somehow or there’s a connection by friendship. How are your brothers, anyway?” Melina asked and Joanna smiled to herself.

  Melina saw the guys once and only for a short period of time and she was completely intimidated and shocked by their sizes, never mind their attitudes. She always did ask how they were and if things were good. Melina was a good friend.

  “They are around for a while. Like I mentioned, not thrilled about me talking to Leif and his brothers.”

  “Well, they’ll just have to get over it. Are you ready for the competition?”

  “It’s crazy but I feel nothing right now.”

  “Ohhh, because two hot guys kissed you?”

  “No silly. I just try to take things at the moment. I don’t like to think ahead. I’m sure tomorrow night will be a different story entirely.”

  “You’re going to do great. A bunch of us are coming, too.”

  “I appreciate the support.”

  “Well you better get your rest. Tomorrow is “hell” day with training, right?”

  “Half the day is, and the other half is massages and relaxation so my muscles are in peak form.”

  “How about the weight situation?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Okay, see you on Saturday.”

  “Thanks.”

  She ended the call and then leaned back with her head against the pillow. She tried to relax, and of course, she thought about Leif and Cavanaugh. Could she let down her guard and take this chance with them? How would she handle talking to Flynn and Knight? They were even more intimidating and mysterious than Leif and Cavanaugh. She felt excited and not scared, and it surprised her. She was seriously considering a ménage. Where in the world did these men come from? One minute she’s doing her thing, living her life, and the next not one man, not two, but potentially four men, are interested in getting to know her? She actually hoped they showed up Saturday. Then wondered if Knight and Flynn would, too. She didn’t know, but she closed her eyes and thoughts of them brought her into a peaceful sleep she was needing.