Healing Hearts 10: The Scars That Bind Us

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  Thinking about being forced to brought on flashbacks in her mind. Ones she was used to seeing. Ones that fed her need to overcome diversity, challenges, and even things she set in her head to achieve that seemed unachievable. Like learning so much in martial arts and all these forms of fighting in such a short period of time. She saw herself being taken. It was always a flashback. If she knew then what she knew now about fighting, self-defense, she wouldn’t have been taken, or at least have caused more of a scene. Instead, she was twenty-one, her head in the clouds wondering what friends would be hanging out tonight and what bar they would go to.

  She took a deep, unsteady breath and the next flashback happened. The strikes to her body. Her clothes ripped from her flesh, the small metal crate they tossed her into. Her place, her hell for the next several weeks. She took another unsteady breath, straightened her shoulders and exhaled. The visions were not only vivid and realistically clear, but she could also smell the scents, the dirt, sweat, cologne, death, and feel the hands stroking, pushing, bruising her skin. Then it was a rush in her mind of so many things. Of the pain she felt, of the weakness of giving up hope of ever seeing her brothers again or her parents, and that thought made her fears, her sadness and anxiety of remembering then turn to hatred, to anger and determination to not let these memories rule her life. The one man she should have trusted betrayed her. Her own father. She exhaled again, inhaled and exhaled several times almost going into a hyperventilating state when she brought her mind back to the present. To why she was here. Why she would continue to challenge herself to things like this martial arts competition. It was to eventually destroy the memories of the past. The betrayal, the pain, the distrust, and to live. To be free.

  She calmed her breathing and heard Kudo clear his throat. “It’s time,” he said and she exhaled. When she opened her eyes, Kudo and Donny looked at her, their expressions fierce and full of concern. She felt the moisture on her cheeks and realized she had been crying as she meditated.

  “Are you okay?” Donny asked.

  She wiped her eyes. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you ready for this?” Kudo asked her.

  She thought about that, and felt how relaxed she was now, how in the zone to win. No PTSD, no bad, negative thoughts would make her lose focus. She was stronger now.

  “Ready,” she said and hopped up from her kneeling position with no hands.

  * * * *

  “She looks determined,” Vetter said aloud.

  “Definitely focused,” Flynn added. They were all gathered around together. The cheering, the combined support for Jo and the fact that Cavanaugh and his brothers were there seemed to show her brothers and cousins that they were serious, and that they cared about Joanna.

  Cavanaugh watched as the fighters were introduced and it seemed as if Slava had more of a backing.

  “How can the crowd want Slava to win? She’s a dirty fighter,” he asked aloud.

  “Because the crowd loves that kind of shit and it adds to the intensity of the match. They look for rivalries, for a hatred between fighters all the time,” Trek said to him.

  “From the start, as soon as word got out about Jo competing it was a grand old story of young, less experienced fighter with a determination to win, coming in and destroying the seasoned competition. That her natural talent and gall could be enough to change up the top competitors,” Vetter said.

  “Add in Jo training in private and not allowing any recordings of her training to be used in snippets on the internet and in the martial arts world, and she set the stage for an all-out challenge,” Blade added.

  The match was about to begin and Cavanaugh and all of them watched as it started, Slava poked Jo in the eyes. The crowd gasped as a whole, and Slava struck Jo again before she could recover. The referee stopped the fight, and Kudo was there with her and the refs as she looked hurt, and was trying to blink her eyes. Then he saw her body language change. As she went back out, still looking hurt, the match started and Jo went right into a front kick, getting additional points. They all cheered.

  It was a back and forth competition. One person would gain a point and then next two points. This continued with Slava taking several cheap shots, and apparently since the refs didn’t call her on it, Jo did the same shots to Slava, gaining the support of the crowd. It was a tied match. Everyone was standing and cheering when Slava did another move and hit Jo in the stomach then in the face. As the ref pointed to take a point away, Cavanaugh wondered if he would stop the match, but Jo countered with a side kick, an arm chop, and then some fancy move that had Slava laying on her back on the mat. Jo finishing off with a direct legal shot to her solar plexus. The crowd went wild. So did they as Jo won the competition coming in first place and gaining the title of champion. They were all cheering and calling her name. He watched in awe of it all, and the fact that he and his brothers wanted Jo in their lives, to be their woman, and tonight they would be working on that full throttle.

  Chapter 7

  Corporal’s was super crowded. Apparently, Ghost had the fight on television at the bar and so many people had been there to watch it, never mind her friends that were at the Dome watching it live. It was an exciting day and a long one. Leif felt it, and could only imagine how Joanna felt. She looked incredible tonight, and wore a short flair skirt in beige, a sleeveless black blouse that showed off a bit of her abundant breasts, and of course her toned arms. Her long, blonde hair was flowing down her back, a smile on her face as she spoke to friends, and the only negative he found was the bruised cheekbone from the cheap shot during the match. Morris told him that she was sore in her ribs and stomach too from the numerous hits. He wondered how she did it. How she fought the way she did and knew all those moves, and techniques, could be so tough, yet look so damn feminine and sexy. She was a total knockout, and right now was talking to several guys and he felt jealous.

  His brothers were talking to her brothers and cousins, but he kept his eyes on Jo, and when he turned around as if looking for someone, she spotted him and smiled, and holy shit, did his heart just skip a fucking beat. She made her way over, smiling as a few people said hello but she went to him.

  He reached up and stroked her cheek.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked. She squeezed next to him, her back toward her cousin Ace, who was totally flirting with Amber, Jo’s friend.

  “I think I’m on my like tenth wind of the day. I don’t know how I’m standing.” He wrapped her up in his arms and she gasped, but then held onto his forearms. He held her snugly.

  “You let us know when you’re ready to leave and we’ll take you home. Tuck you in if you need.” He flirted and stared at her lips. She chuckled.

  “Hmmm, kind of fast for friends, don’t you think?” she asked him.

  He held her gaze. “When I look at you, think about you, hold you this close, I certainly don’t have the thoughts that friends do about one another, baby. Let’s drop the friends thing, and see this for what it is?”

  “Which is what, exactly?”

  “Me being honest with you. Telling you that my brothers and I want in.”

  “Want in? What do you mean?” she asked, and pressed her palms to his chest. His one palm was against her lower back, his fingers slightly over her ass.

  “In your life, to be part of you. We want to make some plans for dates, so you’ll get to know us and get comfortable with us,” he said, and leaned closer and kissed her cheek. She turned toward the bar, giving him better access to her neck, and he whispered against her skin. “Nice and slow, the way you seem to need it.”

  “Ahh, we finally have her to ourselves,” Knight said, joining them. She didn’t pull back, but instead looked up at Knight.

  A scowl formed on his brother’s face and he reached out and stroked her jaw, and clenched it between his fingers to look at her bruised cheekbone. “That looks bad. Did you ice it?” he asked.

  “A bunch, and on the car ride home. Donny made sure I did.”

 
Knight stared at her lips and he pressed closer and kissed her. It was short, but had affected her because as he pulled back she looked sexy as sin.

  “Any time you want us to take you home or to go somewhere to be alone, we’re game. We’ve had to wait in line to even spend time with you,” Knight complained. “I’m sorry, it’s so crazy, and I can’t believe how many people knew about the match and were cheering me on. It’s so cool.”

  Knight smiled at her and Leif kept his hand on her hips. She was between him and Knight. Knight’s one hand was on the bar against her back, and his other hand caressed her belly.

  That was when Cavanaugh and Flynn approached, both looking at her and smiling.

  “You have to be ready to pass out,” Flynn said in a deep, almost reprimanding tone.

  “I’m beyond that right now.”

  “Want to leave?” he asked her.

  She looked around them. “We can bring you home, or maybe go by the pier and water, just talk,” Cavanaugh suggested.

  “You might have to carry me?” she replied, and then leaned against Leif’s shoulder. He was thrilled, so excited that it seemed she was getting more comfortable with them.

  “Hey, we’re going to head back to our place and go swimming, start a fire and shit, just chill,” Trek told them, interrupting the conversation.

  “Well, there you go,” Jo said, and went to move when Leif pulled her into his arms so she faced him.

  “You’re coming with us,” he said, and then pressed his lips to hers. She slid her palms up his chest, making his dick so fucking hard, and then around his neck.

  “I’m good with that,” she said, and he pressed his lips to hers and they all headed out of Corporal’s and to her and her brothers’ house.

  * * * *

  Jo got into the back of the SUV with Flynn and Knight. The second the vehicle began to move as Cavanaugh drove, Knight lifted her up onto his lap. She held onto his shoulders. “At last,” he said, and then pressed his lips to hers.

  She liked it. Felt comfortable with all four men, and truly felt like she could give this a try. As Knight deepened the kiss and ran his palm up under her skirt to her thigh and then her hip, she was aroused and felt so much. Her inexperience didn’t matter, her body indicated what she felt, what she wanted. As he played with the string of her thong panty and kissed her tenderly, she felt like she could trust him, trust them with her body. Then came the thoughts of the past and what happened to her. She would have to let them know so they would go slow. As she felt his fingers slide along her panties and toward the front of her mound, while he widened his thighs to open her up, she panicked. She pulled from Knight’s mouth and sat up, then pushed her skirt down.

  “Whoa, slow down, what’s wrong?” he asked. She looked at him, could see the hunger in his eyes, the desire she felt.

  “Too fast,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “I didn’t think so. We want you comfortable and relaxed with us. He reached up and stroked her cheek. “We want to pleasure you, together. We won’t go too far, unless you’re ready and feel what we feel.”

  “It isn’t that I don’t feel what you feel. I do, believe me, I feel a lot, and it’s shocking.”

  “Why?” Flynn asked, and she looked at him and swallowed hard.

  “I don’t date. I don’t fool around, and certainly not with multiple men.”

  “So it’s the ménage thing, baby?” Flynn asked, and reached up and stroked her hair.

  “Among other things.”

  “Like?” Cavanaugh asked from the front seat.

  “Less experience than you all definitely seem to have.”

  “Ahh, so it’s the sex you’re freaking out about?” Knight asked, shocking her.

  “I…uhm, well, see you’re going right to having sex.”

  “You’re the one who brought it up,” Flynn teased, and then cupped her cheek and drew her in for a kiss. In this position on Knight’s lap, he dipped her as Flynn pulled her closer and began to kiss her. She was lying over both of them when Knight slid his palm up under her skirt.

  “Nice and slow. You stop us only if it doesn’t feel good. There’s no need for fear with us, Joanna. No need for fear,” Knight said, and as Flynn kissed her lips and cupped her breast, stroking the nipple through her top, setting her pussy on fire, she felt Knight’s fingers slid toward her pussy. She tightened up, but then moaned as he slid a digit into her channel. She didn’t freak out as she thought she would. She didn’t panic. No, instead she moaned and she came, just like that.

  “Holy fuck, she just came. Two fucking strokes and she came,” Knight said, and continued to stroke her cunt. She was so aroused, and felt the need for more. It was crazy, and it had to be these men, because there were never any other men that could make her let down these walls and just feel.

  She moaned and then Knight pulled from her lips. “I bet she tastes so good.”

  “Well we can’t taste her at her place. Keep driving, Cavanaugh,” Leif said as he watched from the front seat. She held onto Flynn’s thigh.

  “Oh God this is too much. I can’t believe this,” she said, and Knight chuckled.

  “Believe it, and believe there’s more to come.” He shifted in his seat. “Flynn, a little help.”

  Flynn turned in the seat, widened his thighs so hers widened, and Knight pushed up her skirt and zeroed in on her pussy.

  “I need a taste and so do my brothers. Relax and let go. You’re safe with us, Joanna. Always, safe with us,” Knight said, and then she felt her panties move to the side and his tongue on her clit and cunt. “Oh God! Oh.” She moaned.

  “Kiss me, baby. Show me you feel it, too. That you trust us to not hurt you, and to bring you pleasure tonight,” Flynn said, and she tilted her head back, felt overwhelmed with emotions and desire. She tilted her chin toward him and he lowered down until their lips met. When they did, it was chaos from there on out.

  Flynn kissed her and cupped her breast, played with her nipple as Knight licked her cunt and fingered her, making her come over and over again. She hadn’t felt the SUV stop, or even know what was happening as lights came on but quickly dimmed. A door opened and then Knight was pulling fingers from her cunt and Leif was there. Flynn released her lips. “Look at them. Look how turned on, how aroused you made them, made us. You’re so damn special, Joanna,” Flynn told her.

  Leif pulled off her panties and stuck them into his pocket. He then spread her thighs, leaned over her to kiss her on the lips. “You’re going to be our woman, and we’re going to be your men. Tonight is just the beginning,” he said, and stroked her pussy lips with his fingers, then held her gaze as he slid one digit up into her.

  She moaned and tilted her hips upward. “Leif,” she said, and reached out to him.

  He placed his face against her palm, and then he kissed it as he stroked her cunt. “I need a taste, and so does Cavanaugh.” He lowered between her legs and replaced fingers with his tongue. He lashed at her pussy lips, and then Flynn moved from under her and lay her on the seat. She was wide open in the back seat of the SUV in the middle of who knew where because the windows were tinted.

  “You’re so incredibly beautiful, Joanna. We were jealous tonight, of all the men giving you attention, when we wanted you all to ourselves,” Cavanaugh said, leaning in behind her head and kissing her lips.

  The move caused her to lift her torso, giving Leif better access to her cunt, then Cavanaugh started to unbutton her blouse, exposing her breasts, then leaned down and kissed her chest. She kissed him back, her head tilted back, his neck accessible, and she did some exploring of her own. She couldn’t believe how much more she was ready to give them. This had to be special. It couldn’t be a mistake to want to let them in, could it? The panic began to set in when Flynn started giving orders.

  “Let’s take this into the house, the bedroom now,” he ordered. All touching, sucking, fingering stopped and Leif fixed her skirt as Cavanaugh pulled back and Leif slid her body toward him.
She was up in his arms, straddling his hips.

  “No, wait,” she said, and they continued walking toward their front door. So they took her home, not to her place. Her brothers would wonder where they were and what was taking so long. She couldn’t sleep with them. Let down her guard completely so soon. What if she panicked? What if she had an episode? What if this was a mistake? She wiggled from his embrace and he set her feet down. She fixed herself and started buttoning up her top.

  “Take me home. That’s where everyone will be,” she said.

  “Wait, why, when we were enjoying being together?” Leif asked her.

  “I can’t do this. Not yet. I hardly know you,” she said to him.

  Leif wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close. “You know a lot. I know we share similar fears. You’re like Cavanaugh and me. You suffer from PTSD, correct?” he asked her, and she tightened up, then squinted.

  “How did you—”

  “The painting at the gallery,” he said, and she nodded.

  “You both have it?” she asked, and Cavanaugh placed his hands on her shoulders from behind her.

  “Yes. Deal with it every day. It’s a process,” Cavanaugh said, and she felt his lips against her neck and shoulder.

  “Did we do something to scare you?” Flynn asked.

  She looked at him, and then sought out Knight. It was crazy how she automatically did that. It was like she accepted them as one unit. She was starting to realize exactly how her friends felt when they started dating their men, and exploring the attraction.

  “I just think we should slow things down,” she said.

  Knight spoke up. “It’s fine if you need to slow down, but don’t close up. Don’t push us away when we’re trying to get to know you.”