by Nikki Lane
I slid back into the barstool.
“I’m David.” He reached out his hand.
“Maeve.” I gave him a quick shake.
“Nice to meet you, Maeve.” He took a sip from his drink. “So, what are you doing sitting at a bar alone?”
“Oh, I’m not alone.” I fidgeted with the cocktail napkin under my glass. “I’m here with a friend for a holiday party.”
He nodded. “I’m just grabbing a drink, waiting for my buddy to show up.”
I crossed my legs and leaned both arms on the bar as I made menial conversation with David. He was nicer than I expected, but I was too distracted watching Jacob with Taylor. They weren’t talking anymore but making their way toward me.
“So, what do you think?” David asked.
“Huh?” I cut back to his face.
“Do you want to go out some time?”
“I don’t think so.”
I kept my eyes on Jacob.
“Where’ve you been?” he asked me.
Taylor peeked around him.
“I told you where I was.”
“Yeah, but that was, like, twenty minutes ago,” Jacob said.
I gestured to my new friend. “I’ve been talking to…”
“David.”
“Yes, David. Jacob, this is David.”
David offered his hand and Jacob shook it.
“And that’s Taylor,” I said.
She smiled and waved. She gave my low-scooped top and fitted jeans ensemble a onceover and then adjusted her own shirt.
“What’s up?” I asked Jacob.
“Are you ready to go, or do you want to hang out here a little longer?”
“I’m ready when you are.” I couldn’t get home fast enough.
He leaned in close to my ear. God…I hated how much I loved the feeling of his mouth close to my body.
“Do you mind if I leave with Taylor?”
My stomach dropped to my knees. I knew this was coming. But still. Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling. It was like getting run over by a freight train.
“Okay.” I barely got the word out.
He gave me a small smile. “I can drop you off at the apartment.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Taylor butted her shoulder against Jacob. “We can take my car,” she said, peering up at him.
Jacob looked to me. “What are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “I’m hanging out with David.”
David smiled, seemingly unsuspecting that I had no intention of sticking around once Jacob and Taylor were gone.
Jacob hesitated with his response. “Are you sure?”
I couldn’t keep my leg from shaking. “Yeah. Go. I’ll catch up with you later.”
He muttered some kind of goodbye to David and handed me the keys to my car. I watched with a heavy heart as he walked out with Taylor.
I sat, not moving a limb, still unable to process what had just happened.
David finished the rest of his beer in one shot. “So, you up for going someplace quieter?”
Jacob and Taylor were gone, but I was still staring out into the crowd. A deep pain burned in my gut and then flared throughout my body. I looked back at David. I didn’t want to do this. Not with this stranger sitting next to me. I shot out of my seat.
“I can’t. Sorry.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t hang around to hear what he had to say. I didn’t care. If I ran, I might have been able to still catch Jacob and Taylor in the parking lot.
I pushed through the crowd, trying not to trip over my heels. The room seemed never-ending as I weaved through people. I finally made it to the front doors and outside. The cold air smacked the heat off my cheeks. I crossed my arms and trotted to the parking lot, turning my head in every direction.
Shit. This would have been so much easier if I knew what kind of car Taylor drove. I suspected it was pink.
I walked deeper into the parking lot, scanning the faces of those who passed by me in cars. I was losing hope that they hadn’t left yet. Nobody looked familiar.
I had reached the end. All there was left to do was turn around.
I trudged back to the front of the parking lot where Jacob had parked my car. My mind started to run away with seedy thoughts. Where did they go? What were they doing? How long would they be doing it for?
I almost laughed, thinking of how ridiculous it was for me to think I should go after him. What was I planning to say? Planning to do? Why would I ever think he’d chose to go home with me to the apartment rather than spend the night with Taylor? Especially after what I’d already put him through.
I debated going back inside the restaurant to find David. But I wasn’t into it. And I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. Not that I ever did it for the right ones.
I was gripping my car keys so tight I had indentations in my skin. I spotted my car and planned to spend the rest of the night alone, finishing the pint of ice cream in the freezer.
I drove home, feeling the burn tear deeper through my chest. The fresh piece of gum in my mouth wasn’t enough to satiate my craving. Fuck, I really wanted a cigarette. But after searching every square inch of the car with one hand, there wasn’t a cigarette in sight. Damn it, Jacob. How did he manage to find my secret stash? I lost my breath for a few seconds, and the only thing that made me feel better was to let the tears fall. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Nobody was here to see them. I might as well get it all out of my system while I was still alone.
I parked the car and lumbered upstairs to the apartment, feeling heavy and tired.
Inside, my shoes flew off with two kicks of my feet. I shut the door and didn’t bother to turn on the light before I peeled off my shirt and tossed it aside. I took my jeans off, too, and then plopped on the bed. After sulking for a while, I headed to the kitchen to get the ice cream. The cold air soothed my aching eyes. I stopped, head in freezer, when someone entered the apartment.
I peeked around and saw Jacob. He stood by the door and flicked on the light.
I closed the freezer. The hum of the fridge was the only sound filling the room.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.” My voice was barely a squeak. “Didn’t think you’d be home so early.”
He kicked off his shoes and set them by the door. “Thought the same about you.” He walked to the kitchen and stopped just a foot in front of me. “Didn’t think I’d find you here, either.”
“You were looking for me?” I said.
His eyes were glued to mine, even though I was only wearing a bra and panties.
“Yeah, I thought maybe you’d still be at the bar. But you’d already left when I got there.”
I brushed the hair away from face. I’m sure I looked like shit — traces of mascara staining my face. Lipstick faded from my lips.
“I didn’t stay long after you left.”
He took a few steps closer. It took all my resolve not to take a step back. Not because I didn’t want him near me, but because I didn’t trust myself with him so close.
“What happened with Taylor?” I leaned against the counter, feeling relieved to rest my weight on something solid. “I thought for sure I wouldn’t be seeing you until tomorrow morning…or for at least not another couple hours.”
He took a deep breath. “I went back to her dorm.”
“And?”
Was I really asking for specifics? It was none of my business, but I couldn’t resist the chance to torture myself with the gory details.
“And I realized I didn’t want to be there. I kept thinking of someone else. Kept thinking maybe…” His eyes flickered toward the stove. “Maybe she was still at the bar where I’d left her. Or maybe she’d gone home with someone…or worse—brought him back to her apartment.”
My pulse throbbed in my ears. Something rushed through my body. I couldn’t pinpoint the feeling—it wasn’t familiar.
“She’s right here,” I said. �
��In the dark. Alone. With her head in the freezer.”
Jacob smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry I left you at the party. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not fine, Maeve.”
“Okay, I’ll admit. I was a little disappointed. But I have no right to be…”
He took another step closer and braced me in his arms. His eyes flickered over my face before he set his lips on mine. He held me close to his body, like he knew there was a chance I would try to run away.
But I couldn’t pull away from his kiss—the smell of his skin, the taste of his tongue. I wanted to keep going. Go further. Go all the way. But there was still this nagging in the back of my head. That small voice, reminding me that this was a bad idea. Why did my conscious choose to rear its ugly head when it came to Jacob? And why did it become a deaf mute when it came to every other guy I threw myself at?
Jacob pulled away, his hands still cradling my face.
“You don’t want to do this,” I whispered.
His stare didn’t waver. “Yes, I do, Maeve.”
My heart felt like it could explode at any moment. Jacob seemed so calm. I swallowed the rock in my dry throat.
“If there’s anyone I want to do this with, it’s you. If you don’t want to, then of course I understand. But I want this, Maeve. I want this so bad.”
Oh God. How was it possible to resist this? When was I ever going to get another chance to feel this wanted again? I glanced at the clock. An hour until midnight. Maybe I could have my Cinderella moment. Pretend that I was a princess for an hour until midnight came along and blew up my pumpkin.
I could pretend.
I kissed him again before I let myself think any more about it. I tugged at this shirt and peeled it over his head. I ran my hands over his chest and stomach, feeling the light hair on his skin. His eyes widened just a little when I went for his belt. Maybe he would change his mind and stop me.
I gave his belt a few good tugs and dropped it to the floor.
Maybe not.
Jacob stood unfaltering as I unbuttoned his pants. Our eyes locked at the sound of his zipper going down. I slid his pants down his legs, and he stepped out of them.
We stood face to face, half naked in the kitchen. I grazed my arms over his stomach. Watched as his chest rose and fell with his every breath—his rapid breathing the only evidence that he was nervous, too.
I held his hand and led him to the bedroom.
Chapter Twelve
I lost my virginity years ago. But in that moment with Jacob, it was almost like doing it for the first time again.
I guided Jacob toward the bed and pressed his shoulders so he sat down. He looked up at me as I reached behind my back to unclasp my bra. Jacob soaked me in, sending a shudder of tingles throughout my whole body. I loved the way he looked at me. Like he’d never seen anything like my body before.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands skirted up my stomach and rounded around my breasts. I kissed him harder, letting my one of my hands trail down to his boxers. I edged my fingers in between the band and made my way inside of them. He groaned into my mouth when I caressed his hard-on.
I straddled his waist and ran my fingers through his long hair, slipping off his glasses and setting them aside. I wanted to look into his hazel eyes. Force myself to face what I’d been wanting ever since Jacob Young came back into my life.
“You’re beautiful, Maeve.”
The words seeped so deep inside of me it hurt. Like the hard layer that had grown around my heart was starting to crack.
“So, are you.” I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.
But he held the back of my head and pulled me close for another one. Our tongues curled together, and I pulled at his bottom lip. I’d thought about what it would have been like to share this moment with Jacob more than once. Would I have thought of things differently if he were my first instead of someone I’d barely known?
Jacob let out a low growl and held on to my thighs. He stood up and turned, still holding on to me, and laid me on the bed, his body in between my legs.
You’ll never be what he deserves.
The thought kept popping into my head.
My hands were pasted to the mattress as he pulled down my panties and tossed them to the floor. I was now fully exposed in front of the boy who used to throw mud at me on the farm. The boy who used to tease me about my clumsiness.
Now, his teasing took on a whole new meaning.
“What are you doing?” I asked as Jacob positioned his head in between my legs.
“What do you think I’m doing?” he said with a smirk.
He set his mouth in between my legs, and I clawed at the sheets. I’d paid my oral dues before, but the act was rarely returned. This was what I’d been missing?
Holy fuck.
Jacob held my quivering legs as his tongue relentlessly circled my middle. It was near impossible for me to keep quiet. I knew the neighbors would be able to hear every groan, but I didn’t care. It felt too fucking good to keep inside.
I warned him that I was close to coming, but he didn’t stop. I held on to his head, and with one perfect sweep of his tongue, I fell over the edge. My chest heaved up and down as he resurfaced with a satisfied smile on his face.
“Holy shit, Jacob.” Every cell in my body was still reeling. I scooted up to a sitting position and lunged toward him with a gleam in my eye. “Your turn.”
Jacob leaned back in the bed. I peeled off his boxers, revealing all of his flesh. He let out a groan as I returned the favor. Usually, this wasn’t something I enjoyed doing. But for Jacob, I was more than happy to finish him off this way. He cradled my head and pulled my hair into his hands. We made eye contact, and it sent him groaning through clenched teeth.
He guided me back on top of his body, and our mouths immediately met. Our kissing was wet and unruly. Like we couldn’t get enough. It sent the adrenaline coursing through me, erasing the doubts from my mind. My brain had taken a backseat to my heart.
Jacob rolled me onto my back. His mouth traveled from my lips down my neck. “I want to know what it feels like to be inside of you.”
This was it. Once I made my next move, there was no going back. Would he think back on this moment and smile, or shake his head in regret?
Jacob looked at me with expectant eyes. I positioned a leg on either side of his waist and slowly lowered my body. He held his gaze on me as I felt our bodies connect. I slid down until he filled me completely. A shudder ran through me, and I took a sharp inhale.
“You okay?” I didn’t move, just sat in place, letting him get used to the feeling.
He smiled. “Are you kidding?”
I smiled back and eased myself up and down, slow and steady. He gripped my thighs and clung his fingers to my skin. I braced my hands on his chest and flung my head back, feeling completely overwhelmed by his fullness. His hands ran over my breasts and down my stomach. They rested around my waist.
Jacob’s face contorted as I rocked on top of him faster. I felt his stomach tense under my hands, and he heaved his body up to cradle my neck and kiss me.
“You feel so fucking good,” he breathed into my mouth.
I tried to say something, but the words were non-existent. I couldn’t think beyond the feeling of him inside of me. Beyond his tenderness. Beyond the perfection of the moment. He had other opportunities. There was no doubt about that. How did he resist them? Any girl with two brain cells to rub together could understand the depth of Jacob’s appeal. His beauty resonated from the inside out. There was so much of it that it radiated from his body.
He flipped me onto my back and repositioned himself in between my legs. The few brief moments when are bodies remained unattached were pure torture. I wanted him inside of me again. I needed it.
My legs hung high in the air as Jacob fumbled to position himself bac
k inside of me. His face reddened, and I reached down to guide him the rest of the way. I let out a small cry as he rocked his hips, getting deeper inside than I’ve ever felt before. He burrowed his head into my neck and groaned as I dug my fingers into the cheeks of his ass. I wanted him closer, deeper. If it was possible.
“Maeve,” he muttered. “I don’t think…”
“It’s okay,” I said.
I was so close to tipping over the edge again. Just the thought of him doing the same was enough to get me there.
I held his head as he kissed me, his mouth spurting staggered breaths as I felt him fall inside of me. I let out a cry as I fell with him, long and hard, my gaping mouth a hair’s distance from his.
Our foreheads met, and Jacob’s chest heaved against my body. My hand grazed along the damp skin of his back. My eyelids grew heavier with every passing second.
After a few quiet moments, Jacob maneuvered himself next to me on the bed. He planted soft kisses on my shoulder. I glanced at the clock.
11:45 p.m.
Fifteen more minutes.
I turned on my side and leaned my head on my hands. “Jacob Young. You keep surprising me.”
Jacob smiled wide. “I hope it wasn’t too bad for you.”
I gave him a small smile. “Just the opposite, actually. That was pretty incredible.”
“Thank you, Maeve.”
I let out a soft laugh. “You don’t have to thank me, Jacob.”
“I know. I’ve just been waiting for that to happen with the right person. And I’m glad that person was you.” He gestured for me to get closer so that I was lying in the crook of his arm.
The right person? I wasn’t sure I could live up to that title. I tried not to think that this night with him would change everything between us. Forever. Had I done the unforgivable? Sacrificed our friendship for a few perfect moments?
We lay there quiet, his arm grazing up and down my arm. After a few quiet minutes passed, I noticed Jacob’s rhythmic breathing. I lifted my head to make sure he was fast asleep. I gently peeled myself away from his embrace, slipped on a t-shirt and shorts, and headed to the couch to sleep.
The clock read 12:01.