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I wasn’t expelled or sent back to prison.
Some photos of me standing over Seafoam surfaced on social media, and someone had even made a .gif of my first punch with the caption “Shut Yo Damn Mouth!” It was probably funnier to everyone else. Me? It captured just how suddenly I’d snapped. How quick I’d been to escalate things to the next level and how unprepared the rest of the world is for that.
Officially there was no punishment. Nobody could report things to a higher authority without bringing problems down on the party where there’d been an incalculable amount of underage drinking. Seafoam might’ve pushed for something anyway, but I think I scared him. Either that or he was satisfied with the frat’s decision.
Unofficially, I’d been blacklisted from every Greek party on campus. No sorority girls or free beer for me. I could still see Isabella and Lusitania’s faces, watching me from the porch almost a month later. I hadn’t even managed to keep out of trouble before the semester officially began.
Mom and Dad had both called to individually express their disappointment. Dad’s didn’t count for much, though it chafed knowing that my screwup might have cost Mom his support. Mom on the other hand, her disappointment hurt. Worse still, she seemed to have been expecting it. Like she’d preemptively been disappointed in preparation for this moment.
I threw myself into Kaiju Wars Online. Much as I hated to admit it, the developers knew what they were doing when they made it. I felt like a better version of myself. Unfortunately, that only made me more aware of my shortcomings. My answer to this? More gaming.
In the month since the party, the semester had officially started and I’d begun classes. The workload wasn’t bad. Sure, there was a lot, but I only had three things outside of class occupying my time. Homework, the occasional mechanic job, and Kaiju Wars. Alex it turned out was a pretty cool guy. Even if I wasn’t welcome at his frat’s parties, he’d helped spread the word that I was a cheaper alternative than taking your car into the shop. Slowly but surely, I was building up a savings.
Once that accomplishment would have filled me with pride. And I was proud of what I’d managed to do, don’t think I wasn’t. It just didn’t hold a candle to the progress I’d made with Taisaur. With the help of Xenatlas, Solrin, and Megaptera taking it in turn to team up with me, plus plenty of soloing in between, Taisaur had hit level 10. His stats had progressed on their own, based on the build I’d made for him, just like Xenatlas had expected. The other’s said there could be some wiggle room once I hit level sixteen. Until then, my stats would basically reflect my original array.
I’d gotten a lot of flak for pumping Taisaur’s Special Defense as high as I had. Apparently, it was serious overkill for what our alien opponents could throw at us. The hover tanks’ attacks didn’t even register anymore and Taisaur could easily soak up multiple fly-over attacks. It made me feel invincible, so screw those guys and what they thought. I did miss not having some kind of ranged attack though. Taisaur’s speed helped to compensate but only by so much. Combined with his more than decent Attack and Defense stats, and his sky-high HP, Taisaur usually outlasted the other kaiju, even though they were higher level, albeit, not so much higher as they used to be.
I think I was playing the game way more than them. It’s the only explanation.
Whatever the case, the level and stats weren’t nearly as exciting as what they meant. It was tough to say for sure, but Taisaur had to be nearing one hundred and fifty feet. The growth rate seems to be ten feet for every level he went up. We’re only this many experience points away from being as tall as Godzilla in the original film!
Unfortunately, it was getting exponentially more difficult to level up. What used to easily net me a level now got me only a fraction of the way near where I needed to be. This meant more playing, which I was fine with. Brett was less fine with it.
I still had never played in front of my roommate. We got on all right, but I still didn’t want him watching me while I played. My time with Taisaur wasn’t exactly private but playing as Taisaur with other players actually in the game was different from playing with someone else just watching me.
I’d had to find a new place to play. Not having to worry about charging my phone helped. Hell, I hadn’t charged it since discovering that holding it in my right hand juiced it up. After a few days, I’d found a way onto the roof of the dormitory. A quick stint online shopping for used goods netted me a lawn chair and one of those poolside umbrellas. I had my gaming station.
Today I’d hurried back onto the roof after class, rushing to meet my friends online. Xenatlas had been assigned a secret mission. If we succeeded he’d get real cash and some kind of in-game benefit. What that was exactly, was unclear, but after telling us in the HUB we were all more than happy to help him hit his target.
Taisaur, says Solrin, after I’d hauled myself onto the roof and gotten situated in my lawn chair. Where’ve you been?
I’ve got a life, what’s your excuse? I reply.
Don’t need one, Solrin says. I’m fucking awesome.
Taisaur, don’t pretend you have a life, Xenatlas says through his kaiju’s roaring. You are leveling up way too fast to have anything resembling a life. You’re probably holed up in a basement somewhere living on ramen and Red-Hot Cheetos, all neon and pasty and shit.
Mmm, Red-Hot Cheetos, says Megaptera. Dammit, Xen! Now you’ve got me craving them.
Sounds like you’re spending a lot of time thinking about me, Xen, I say, laughing. It’s never going to happen between us. Let it go.
Cue the Disney song, says Megaptera.
No! shouts Solrin while Xenatlas splutters. No, no, no. Don’t you fucking dare!
Can we get a move on this? Xenatlas says, recovering. Thank you all for teaming up for this. I think this might actually be the single largest team-up attack since the game was started.
It is? I’d never played with more than one of them at a time but I’d figured that was purely coincidental.
There’s only a little over a hundred players, Megaptera reminds me. Game’s still in beta. And there’s only so much EXP reward you get for teaming up.
That was somewhat true. While there weren’t any penalties for teaming up with other players to level a city, there weren’t any bonuses either. And there was only so much smashing material to go around. Eventually you found yourself competing for buildings to tear down or tanks to demolish.
You sure us being here isn’t going to mess up your mission? I ask Xenatlas.
Certain, Xenatlas said. The mission is to destroy this city’s capital building. I’m allowed to bring other players along. Hell, I got the impression that the fact I could get you guys to join in might actually be why I got this mission.
Huh, I say. Weird.
Definitely weird, Megaptera says. But who cares? Let’s go smash some shit!
I laugh but we all echo the sentiment and a few moments later the four of us are towering over the green-lit buildings of a downtown metropolis. Another thing I’ve got to credit the designers with, after a city’s demolished, we never repeat that level.
Taisaur’s grown a ton since I first got him after playing the blob. Even so, standing near these others, it’s clear he’s still the smallest kaiju in the group. The second shortest is a good thirty feet taller than him.
Only Xenatlas has hit level sixteen. He’s got to be at least two hundred feet tall. The downtown buildings are looking more like toys beside him. Soon I’m going to catch him up, I think. A few more weeks. Maybe by this time next month.
I haven’t told any of my online friends but I’ve got a private goal of seeing Taisaur’s size rival Godzilla’s. Not the original’s, the newer models, the ones the studio’s keep making bigger and bigger. I’ve got an even further way to go to hit those numbers than catching up on Xenatlas. Still, go big or go home, right?
In the d
istance sirens wail. Below us, little alien people scream and begin running, just like an old kaiju flick.
All right, says Megaptera. Military will be incoming any second. What’s the plan?
It’s Solrin who responds, mane bristling to life with motion and crackling energy as he bellows, unleashing a fiery gale that washes over everything ahead of him in a wave. Apparently, his attack is called Solar Wind. Accurately named or not, in an instant, downtown is aflame. Wreck everything until we hit the capital building!
I laugh. It’s stupid but that’s about as good as our planning’s going to get. This isn’t a game for careful tactics and strategy. It’s about release. Letting everything go that you have to bottle up in the real world and unleashing hell here.
And that’s just what we do, hauling off in all different directions. The buildings don’t just crumble behind me anymore. They all but explode with the force of my strikes. Green fire from the alien hover tanks and military personnel on the ground bounce harmlessly off of me as I tear through everything, reveling in my power. As Taisaur I am invincible.
And then an explosive series of green lights flash and my health bar begins to drop. Something’s hit me, hard. I whip around a building, taking cover. The damage wasn’t that much, especially not to Taisaur, but the fact that he’s hurt at all makes me hesitate.
Hey, Xenatlas, I say, Taisaur bellowing out a roar in time with my question. Do you have any idea why this place is some kind of special target?
No, Xenatlas cries back, his words accompanied by a much deeper roar.
The building I’m hiding behind explodes in a torrent of green energy. Several new models of hover tank are waiting for me on the other side, easily twice as big as the old ones. They’ve got three cannons, spinning above them like Gatling guns, throwing out huge blasts of green energy way faster than anything I’ve seen them able to dish out before.
Taisaur’s health bar flashes, the meter steadily dropping as I soak up the hits. If they’re doing that much damage to Taisaur, they’re going to hit my friends a whole lot harder.
I take off, trying to think of a way to counter the alien’s new weapons. I think I just found out!
SOLRIN
Chapter Seventeen
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Taisaur flees across the city, and the alien tanks follow.
My health bar flashes as the hits began to stack up. I tear off to the left, ripping through buildings and exploding out on another street, only to discover more military forces. These new hover tanks are easily the most powerful thing in their arsenal, but there were a lot of other soldiers and tanks that had been behind them.
I rip through some of them before the tanks catch up—not only are these new models packing more firepower, they are a lot faster. Someone has been working behind the scenes to up the challenges. Good. Everything was starting to feel too easy.
Damn it! Solrin cried out. Those new tanks pack a wallop! I just lost a quarter of my health.
I’d been right. Taisaur could soak up those hits a lot better than my friend’s kaiju. It made me feel a spark of pride. And they’d said my Special Defense was useless. Hmm…that gives me an idea.
Hey guys, I cry out. Can you lure the military into that big street in the middle of the city?
Hey I think that one ends at the capitol building! Xenatlas says.
Xen, Taisaur roars with my words. Think you guys can do it?
Probably, Megaptera says. Why? What are you planning?
Those new tanks can barely scratch Taisaur, I say, tearing through several more buildings to avoid the air strike that’s just come in, turning the street white behind me. Those used to hurt even if Taisaur had only been peripherally caught in their blast. Now, only direct hits bothered us.
I’m thinking if you can lay down some cover fire, I can close in and tear right through them, I say.
A suicide run, Taisaur? Solrin asks. Really? Didn’t take you for the type.
Oh please, Xenatlas says. Remember how we met? Hadn’t even been playing five minutes and he tries charging me down.
That’s met with several laughs, including my own. Not suicide, I clarify. Taisaur can take the hits if you’re putting down cover fire.
And what about friendly fire? Xenatlas asks.
I grin. I can’t help it. I’ve finally figured out the perfect use for my Special Defense stat. Let me worry about that. Are you game?
Trying to get them to aggro and come back to the main thoroughfare, Solrin says.
The what? Megaptera asks.
The main road, genius, Solrin snaps. Seriously, were you dropped on your head as a child?
Whatever, Megaptera grumps. If you want them on the big street just say the big street.
But it’s a thoroughfare, Solrin says. Not just a street.
Does it fucking matter? Xenatlas asks. Just get there!
We convene almost back where we started. Saucers pass by overhead, bombing us. Our collective HP drops but our kaiju stand strong. The ground forces are trying to reach us, new tanks in the lead. They’re blasts are quickly whittling down my friend’s HP.
Ready? I ask.
Dammit, Taisaur, this better work, Megaptera says. I’m getting sick of this green shit lighting me up.
You guys just do your part and I’ll do mine, I say, and take off, charging right at the tanks.
All of them concentrate their fire on me. Taisaur’s HP drops. Steadily and fast.
And then the first energy attack from my friends fires overhead, smashing into one of the tanks. Another blast follows. Then another.
The tanks are forced to adjust their fire or they’ll be destroyed before I even reach them. The forces behind them instead concentrate on me. They’re attacks are in vain. Cumulatively they’re impressive but the game doesn’t recognize their attacks as a collective whole, just a ton of individual strikes, each too puny to break through Taisaur’s Special Defense.
My friend’s attacks come faster, harder. They’re blowing up everything their special attacks will let them reach. This includes Taisaur. He vanishes in a torrent of flame, white stormy light, and red energy beams, the latter fired from Megaptera’s beady eyes.
I feel my grin growing wider as I overflow with joyous savagery. Their attacks do as much damage to my kaiju as the tanks, but it’s not enough. Taisaur’s still kicking. I pour on the speed and lower Taisaur’s head.
My kaiju explodes out of the maelstrom of energy upon the unsuspecting military who lost sight of Taisaur amidst my friend’s onslaught. The tanks that haven’t already exploded are impaled or smashed aside. After them, the rest of the army falls beneath Taisaur’s charge, flattened, skewered, or tossed aside in his wake of destruction. In a shockingly short amount of time, they’re gone and Taisaur’s at the end of the road.
I leap and crash head first into the capital building. The middle of it, where Taisuar’s impact hits, simply vanishes. There one second. Gone the next. The other’s kaiju follow up the attack from their distance. The remaining parts of the building go up in flames. We’ve won!
Yes! Xenatlas cries out. Yes yes yes!
I’m about to let out my own victorious cry when Megaptera lets out a cry of his own. Only it’s not victorious. Guys, something just hit me from behind
What’s the damage? Solrin asks.
Uh, I don’t think there is any, Megaptera says, sounding confused. That’s weird.
Mega, there is nothing weirder than you, Solrin says. But a second later he’s crying out as well. What the hell was that?
See? Megaptera demands. See that? I am not fucking crazy. Something hit me.
Think the military’s got another weapon? Xenatlas asks.
Possibly, I say. If it’s not doing any damage, who cares?
Okay, it just hit me too, Xenatlas says. He sounds like he’s contemplating what had just happened. Weird. Anyone see where i
t came from?
I take a moment to actually survey the city. We hadn’t been here long and half of that time our efforts had been concentrated on the main thoroughfare. And still the city was almost entirely demolished. Some buildings had been smashed in half, but most were simply piles of rubble with a few odd exceptions.
Looked like some kind of beam from that cluster of buildings we haven’t smashed yet, Solrin says. He turns his kaiju to face the largest clusters of those exceptions.
Maybe there’s some kind of weapon hidden in the buildings, Megaptera suggests. Xen, you sure that was the capital building we just smashed?
Pretty sure, Xenatlas says. Let’s be sure though.
On it, Megaptera says, charging forward. He smashes into the buildings and the topple over in clouds of dust.
Then his kaiju is roaring. Not the roar that accompanies us every time we talk. A primal roar of pain and defeat. And then it’s gone. So’s Megaptera.
Holy shit, did anyone see what happened? Solrin asks. I didn’t see anything.
A beam of energy shoots out from the cloud of wreckage. It’s transparent, almost invisible. I can only tell it’s there because it ripples like the world’s most violent heatwave within its confines. The beam catches Solrin right in the chest.
He glances down at it in confusion. The instant his kaiju takes its attention away from the dust cloud a white blur bursts out of it. In a glittering flash, the enormous white shape is on him. There’s another flash as it zips by and a spray of red blood sprays out of Solrin like a tidal wave. The sheer amount of it is almost cartoonish.
His kaiju topples over, falling to the thoroughfare. He’s not dead but it’s close.
The blur abouts face and comes back. It’s clearly aiming for Solrin to finish him off.
I leap from the remains of the capital building and sprint down the path of wreckage we’d created just moments before. I’d felt so fast then. I’m not fast enough now.
Xenatlas has less distance to close though and he steps in front of the blur, forcing it to adjust its course. For the first time I see what we’re dealing with.
How To Train Your Kaiju Page 9