Chapter 17
Turnaround
Preparation for homeschool had already been going on for two weeks, and not even the threat of what Grandma might do could spoil the excitement. One large room downstairs, formerly a TV den, had been converted into a classroom. There were two long tables, one for Moe and Katie and one for the boys, plus a large desk for the teacher. Along one wall was a deep shelf with slide-out totes for the new books and school supplies the Sparrows had been stockpiling. All of these totes were conspicuously taped shut until the first morning. The wall decorations, assembled and painted by the two ladies during some very late nights at their respective houses, were similarly covered with newspapers until the big day. Moe and Katie were as excited as if it had been Christmas and not just the first day of school. They were up at six that morning, even though classes didn’t officially open till eight.
Jessie had to leave at seven-thirty in order to make her own starting bell. This meant she wouldn’t get to see their faces, she noted regretfully, when they finally got a look at their new school in all its glory. Actually she was a bit curious herself, and would have to invent an excuse to stop by that room later in the day.
After a quick breakfast, Jessie slipped from the house without fanfare. She wanted this day to seem as normal as possible, even though it was coldly weird to be getting out her bike and rolling down the driveway all alone. Get used to it, she coached herself. You chose it.
The world seemed bigger this morning, more frightening. Reliance High School, as she pedaled up to the bike rack, was suddenly larger and further away from home. Her friends, beckoning to her from across the commons, were so shallow and empty. They spent all their time trying to impress each other over things that weren’t really important to any of them. They were only in school at all because they wanted to get into college later. Once at college, they’d only be interested in parties and good times, and they’d hope to land either a rich husband or a cushy high-paying job when they got out. Vividly she could see herself right in there with them, chasing the wind till middle age deflated their sails. There had to be something more. Indeed there was, and Jessie knew it, but it wasn’t here at the fountain of knowledge her grandmother esteemed so highly.
She couldn’t do it.
At first, Jessie’s friends thought she must have forgotten something at home. But then, when she missed the tardy bell, they began to wonder what had happened when she suddenly pulled her bike from the rack and pedaled away. By the end of the day, some of them had the strange feeling she wouldn’t be back. They were right.
There was something Jessie Rivera had to do, that she’d needed to do for months, and it couldn’t wait any longer. It could barely wait the five minutes it took her to ride home. It had to happen now, before she thought about it and changed her mind. Years ago, Jessie had learned to swim using the most basic method possible. She’d simply forced herself to walk to the edge and step off. There were some things you just had to do, without thinking any further.
Jessie spun down the driveway and ditched her bike with a reckless crash, then stopped. There was an unusual car on the street, and its owner, a nicely-suited lady, was walking up to the Sparrows’ front door. She turned and saw Jessie. “Hi, I’m Alyssa. What’s your name?”
“I’m Jessie.” Boldly, she walked up to the stranger. “You’re from the county, aren’t you?”
“Why, yes. I’m here to make sure everything is okay.”
“Everything is absolutely fine,” Jessie smiled with conviction. “I believe you’re here because my grandma called you. You should know that she has a personal problem with my stepfather. If you’ve been told there is anything wrong or improper here, you have been misinformed.”
“Why aren’t you at school today?” Alyssa asked.
“We homeschool.” That word, coming out of her mouth with a “we,” felt strangely and marvelously comforting.
With a bemused smile, the social worker proceeded to ring the doorbell. Jessie could imagine the scene of restrained panic inside as someone was chosen to answer the door. Without thinking, she found herself actually praying that everything would be okay, and wondering with a pang if her aggressive approach had been wrong.
The front door opened slowly and Mom’s face appeared. She first regarded Jessie with wide-eyed surprise, then moved to the social worker. As she did so, her expression turned to pure shock. “Alyssa?”
“Crystal?” said the other woman. “Oh my. I had no idea you were remarried. I am so sorry... but I have my job here. Would it be okay if I came in for a minute?”
“Of course!” Jessie’s mother scrambled to open the screen door. “I want you to come in and meet my husband and my good friend Jessica Scroggins. I see you’ve already met the other Jessica, my little Jessie.”
“I actually met Jessie ten years ago,” said Alyssa. “In the bookstore, remember?”
“That’s right,” Mom recalled as she led the intruder-turned-guest downstairs to the classroom. “Family,” she introduced her triumphantly, “this is Alyssa, my friend from college. We did our student teaching together. She has now changed careers and is, um, employed by the county.”
Mrs. Sparrow introduced her friend to the Sergeant and all the family. Then they showed her the school curriculum and let her talk to each of the kids one-on-one. All the time everyone was half-distracted by the miracle, and half wondering what Jessie was doing there.
“I just apologize so much for breaking in on you folks,” Alyssa repeated several times as she finally retreated from the house. “We had a report that looks absolutely nothing like what I’m seeing here.
“And it was so good to see you,” she added as she gave Mrs. Sparrow a warm hug. “We need to get together sometime on a more... personal basis. And let me know,” she called over her shoulder in parting, “if you ever need a biology teacher!”
The door clicked shut behind her, and the Sergeant turned around to face his expectant troops. “Kids,” he said, “that was Jesus in his helicopter at work.”
“He’s been busy all over town today,” Jessie suddenly cut in before the cheering broke loose. “I know you all feel like having a party, but there are some things I need to say before I talk myself out of it.”
“Let’s go sit down,” the Sergeant suggested.
With her heart pounding in her throat as she faced them in the living room, Jessie was sorry he had made it so formal. But this might as well be thorough, she decided. It was time to quit dithering and step off the edge.
“This is an apology.” Defaulting to the lowest common denominator, Jessie presented her subject like an oral report at school. “I want to walk back the past six months. I’m going to go in chronological order as best I can. Starting with you. Dad.” There. She’d said the word, and the sky hadn’t fallen. All the audience stirred in their chairs, knowing now for sure that she was serious.
“I tried to shut you out of our family from day one,” Jessie stated. “I didn’t want you to get to first base. I was afraid if I gave you an inch, you’d take a mile. But it was a mile you had every right to take, and you did us all a favor by taking it.
“Chris, about the fifty dollars last spring. The fact is, I held off giving you the money that morning so I could let you ‘twist in the wind,’ to get even because I was mad at you. You could have gotten killed because of me, and I don’t blame you if you hate me for it.
“Moe and Katie, I’ve done what I could to undermine Dad and even Mom with you. I put you in danger in my efforts to prove we didn’t need him.
“Mom, I resented you terribly for remarrying someone I didn’t really want. I also resented you for trying to make me dress according to your standards, even though I myself really like what we wear now better than before.
“And Mom and Dad both, I’ve seethed over every rule you’ve made this summer, even though I’ve tried my best to act like the sweet daughter I’m not. Worst of all, I told all my friends that you’re terrible, and whe
n you were away at camp, I sneaked out with them to watch a movie you didn’t want me to see, in the middle of the night.
“I’m awfully, desperately sorry to all of you.”
Having never apologized sincerely for anything before, Jessie wasn’t sure what to say when she finished the sordid inventory of wrongdoing.
Finally the Sergeant spoke. “Jessie, I’m very happy that you’ve come to the point of telling us all this. Of course, we already knew much of it. But the real question is, why have you been acting this way?”
She cast about in her mind for an answer, but what came out wasn’t what she was consciously thinking. “Because I’m... bad.” It sounded so flat and dumb, yet somehow it spoke the deepest cry from her heart – indeed, from the heart of any honest human, calling out from the trap of sin. I’m bad. It had taken her entire life to come down to that realization.
“What do you want to do about that?” the Sergeant asked quietly.
“I want to be saved like you guys are.” Suddenly Jessie’s throat filled up with her remorse, and it began to spill from her eyes in long-overdue tears. The family piled around her like a football huddle, and in simple terms she told God what she’d just told the Sergeant. Then each of them – even Katie and Moe – prayed their own little prayer for her, and gave her a hug to welcome her back to the family.
And finally, it was one family.
The Sparrow Found A House (Sparrow Stories #1) Page 17