by Selena
But he doesn’t deserve that courtesy.
I lean away from him, holding the blankets to my chest, and slap his shoulder. Hard.
“Hey,” I bark.
“Ow,” Devlin grumbles, moving away from me a little but not opening his eyes.
I shove his shoulder this time. “Wake up.”
“What’s your problem?” he mumbles, propping himself up on his elbows. As recognition dawns on his face, he pushes himself up to sitting and drops his head into his hands, muttering curses under his breath.
“What’s my problem?” I ask, an incredulous laugh bubbling from within me. “Are you fucking serious right now, Devlin? What’s your problem? No, don’t even answer that. There’s not enough time in a day to explain how truly and deeply fucked up you must be to do what you did to me the other night, and then waltz into the dance last night like you wanted me.”
He lifts his head and blinks at me as if he thinks I might morph into someone else. “Did we fuck?”
“I don’t fucking know,” I say, throwing my hands up. “The last thing I remember is taking shots until I blacked out.”
But oh god. I remember more than that. It comes back to me in flashes, like photographs of somebody else. Everyone leaping into his car. The ride through town that felt like all of life was in that car. Shots. Dolly sandwiched between the twins. Oh god. Did I give Devlin a lap dance?
“Are you on birth control?” he asks.
Like that’s his only concern. Whether he knocked me up. Like it’s no big deal as long as I’m on something.
Of course, to him it’s probably not. That didn’t look like the first time he got hammered and out of control. But to me… To me it’s a big fucking deal.
“No,” I admit, my eyes searching Devlin’s crystal blue gaze. For the first time since I’ve met him, he looks genuinely concerned. There’s no sign of his sadistic smirk or his angry scowl. For a minute, I let myself think we’re in this together. That if I’m pregnant, he’s going to be part of it.
“Well, can you tell? Does it feel like we did?” He cuts his eyes toward my lap.
“How would I know?”
“Trust me, unless you’re loose as a porn star, you’d be able to tell,” he says with a smirk. That’s when I remember this isn’t someone who’s going to stand by me if something happens—even his baby. Devlin despises me.
Humiliation and rage burn through me as I slide a hand between my thighs. I press my fingers against my panties. My jaw and neck ache from where he grabbed me on Friday night. My ribs feel bruises from the crush of his knees when he squeezed me. My thighs are sore from dancing last night, my throat hurts from vomiting, and my head pounds from alcohol. But when I touch myself, it doesn’t hurt.
Thank fuck. I close my eyes and melt with a sigh of relief.
Devlin draws a ragged breath, and my eyes snap open. He’s staring at me with such intensity that I can see the ache in his eyes. The fire I see there is different from the rage I know, from the intensity last night. It’s a flame of pure, incinerating lust.
I suck in a breath, a tremor of fear and anticipation shimmering through me and settling into a delicious pressure in my low belly. Biting down on my lower lip, I shake my head. “No,” I whisper. “It doesn’t hurt.”
Devlin pounces. He’s so quick I can’t react before he’s crouched over me, bracing himself on his fists and knees. “I can make you hurt so good,” he breathes against my neck, his lips skimming the sensitive skin of my throat and sending a current of heat rushing through me. He rocks forward, his broad shoulders crowding my narrow ones. His bare, hot skin against mine does something my brain has no control over.
“Devlin, don’t,” I whisper, but he’s already crowded me back until I’m flat on the bed under him. My heart thuds in my chest, and I press my palms flat against him.
“I’m so hard it hurts,” he says, his words sending a shot of adrenaline through me, the pulse of it throbbing between my legs. “Let me make you feel this way, too.”
“We can’t.” My resolve is crumbling though, my body warring with what I know, telling me there is more than I’ve ever imagined. There is a whole world I’ve never explored, and right now, the only people in that world are me and Devlin Darling. Nothing else exists.
“Just once,” he whispers against my ear, his lips soft as they skim the shell of my ear, tugging gently at my earlobe. “We won’t tell anyone.”
“We hate each other,” I remind him.
He chuckles softly, lowering his body slowly toward mine. Every inch of my skin trembles with anticipation, aching to meet his. “Hate sex is the best sex, right, Manhattan?”
A flash of shock goes through me when I feel something hot, and hard, and bare pressing against my thigh. He’s naked. Fuck. Devlin’s naked. What did we do last night?
“I wouldn’t know, okay?” I say, shoving at his chest. My palms don’t even move him. He’s like a solid wall of muscle looming over me. And god, it feels so good. To my horror, my body responds to him, and it’s all I can do not to wrap my legs around him, not to run my hands over every inch of his hot, bare skin. He moves his hips between mine, grazing the head of his cock against my panties, then moving his hips forward inch by inch, so the length of his erection slowly grazes against me to the very base.
I gulp at the thought of that thing even beginning to fit inside me.
“You don’t like hate sex?” Devlin asks, his lips teasing my skin softly, sending shivers through every inch of me. “I’ll make you hurt so good you never forget it.”
“I don’t know what I like,” I admit. “I’ve never done this.”
Devlin lets out a snort of breath. “Sure, Manhattan. You’re a tight little virgin. Is that what the boys back home wanted to hear?”
“It’s true,” I say, blood rushing in my ears. My head knows this is complete insanity, but my body can’t help responding to his. When I feel his hardness pulse against my belly, I can barely breathe.
“Okay,” Devlin says, his lips skimming my cheek. “I’ll play along. I’ve never done this, either. But I can be gentle.” His words are soft but carry an edge of mockery.
“Get off me,” I say, shoving at him again.
He laughs softly and nips at my lower lip. He catches it between his teeth and skims his tongue along it, settling his weight onto me fully. “Oh, come on, baby,” he croons in that sweet, honey voice. “Let me be the first to fuck you, raw. With nothing between us. Let me rip you open and make you bleed. Let me cum inside that bloody cunt. I’ll glue you back together with my cum and send you limping home to your brothers so they can each have a turn.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ask, squirming to free myself. Devlin pins me with his hips, grinding against me. I can feel the wetness between my thighs, and Devlin must feel it, too, because triumph lights in his eyes.
“You like that, don’t you?” he asks, moving his hips in a slow circle. “You little slut. You like the dirty talk.”
“I don’t,” I insist, my face heating.
Devlin chuckles again and brushes his lips over mine before cracking a smile. “Liar. You’re wet. Let me taste you. I want to lick that sweet, tight cunt.”
“Stop,” I breathe, but so many sensations are rolling through my body that I don’t even know what I want anymore.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs, his voice silk against my throat. “You can admit it. We’ve all got our dirty little secrets. Or is it the mention of your brothers that’s got you all hot and bothered? Because my family may be fucked up, but that’s some sick shit. Do you fuck them? Or just give them a little taste of your Dolce sweets?”
“I mean it. Stop.”
“I can’t stop now,” he says, his lips teasing, tasting, driving me insane. “You got me started.”
Shivers run through me at the gentle caress of his lips while the coarse words tumble from them. The animal heat and muscle of his body make me tremble with fear even as I thrill for more.
He settles deeper against me, his lips pressing a real kiss onto mine at last. I nearly melt with relief, desire racing through me and clenching between my thighs as his tongue strokes my lip. A gasp escapes me, and he growls, dipping his tongue between my lips. He tastes my mouth gently, and heat coils through me, fluttering in my lower belly before settling as an ache in my core. Devlin rolls his hips against mine, his tongue sliding deeper, rhythmically stroking mine.
He reaches down, tugging my panties over my hip. I try to protest, but it comes out as a moan into his mouth. He answers with one of his own, and the vibration of his voice through me makes me go weak all over. He pushes my panties down further, burying his hand between my thighs. Dipping a finger into my slit, he wets it before pushing it deep into me.
“Oh fuck,” he groans, breaking the kiss and speaking into the hollow of my throat, his voice hoarse and breathless. “You weren’t lying, were you?”
I try to snap at him, but my voice comes out as breathy as his. “No, I wasn’t lying.”
He pushes his finger deeper, pumping it into me a few times. “I’m going to make you come,” he says against my throat. “But I can’t fuck you if you’re a virgin, Crystal. You deserve someone better than me. I’ll just fuck you up and leave you all broken.”
“Break me.”
Now that he’s taken it off the table, it’s all I want. I tease my lips against his ear, a shudder running through my whole body at the sensation of his body responding. I clutch his shoulders, rocking my hips against his hand, an exquisite pressure building inside me as his finger moves, fluttering against my walls and coiling the tension inside me tighter and tighter. At last, I let go, let myself go to the one pleasure that all the money and luxury in the world can’t provide. It’s the one thing I’ve always been forbidden, and I take it now greedily, crying out Devlin’s name helplessly as he brings me to this new place of discovery.
twenty-four
“Wow,” I whisper when Devlin pulls back. He slides his wet finger into his mouth and closes his eyes, breathing deeply as he draws the finger slowly out.
“One more,” he says, scooting down the bed.
I catch his shoulders, my eyes wide. “I haven’t showered.”
A smile quirks the corner of his mouth. “One taste isn’t enough,” he says, diving lower and burying his face between my thighs. I tense, squeezing my knees around his head and grabbing his chin, trying to pull him away. He pushes my hands away and slips his tongue between my lips. A wave of pleasure ripples through me, even better than the last one. I gasp, my knees falling open, and Devlin moans into me like I’m the most exquisite dessert, as sweet as my name.
And again, I let myself have this. I let myself feel the stroke of his warm, wet tongue in places I’ve never been touched or tasted. I let him carry me up and up, until I’m flying, the tension inside me so tight I think I’ll snap in two.
“Devlin,” I gasp, burying my fingers in his hair.
He lifts his face and slides back up my body, a broad grin on his face. “Yeah?” he asks, leaning down to kiss my lips. I can feel the raw heat of his bare skin pushing against my wet, sensitive flesh, and I know there’s only one thing I want. Only one thing will ease the ache inside me.
“Do it,” I whisper, my heart hammering in my chest.
“Really?” he asks. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes.” I slide my arms around him and squeeze myself to him, pressing my heart to his. I can feel the rapid beat of his heart as it races with mine.
“Say it,” he says, his blue eyes blazing with lust as he watches my lips.
“What?”
“Tell me to fuck you,” he says. “Say please.”
“Please,” I whisper.
“Please…?”
I swallow hard and search his blue eyes before whispering, “Fuck me.”
His hardness throbs against me, and I gasp. He licks his lips, his breath coming fast, and pushes forward. The strain is almost unbearable, an ache as he tries to break into me. With a growl, he gives a sharp thrust and breaches my entrance. I gasp out, but he pushes deeper still.
He stops, his muscles trembling with the effort of restraining himself. I feel a tightness inside me pulling until it threatens to tear apart. I don’t know how he’s holding back. I want to scream with pleasure and pain at the same time. My nails bite into his shoulders, and I open my knees wide for him.
“Last chance,” he whispers, his breath hot against my neck. “Do you really want to give your virginity to a guy you hate?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You will later.”
“I can’t hate you after this.”
“You will,” he says again. “But not as much as I’ll hate myself for this.”
“Wait,” I say, grabbing his arms. “A condom.”
“No,” he says, staring down into my eyes. “I want to feel you raw when I rip you open and wreck you.”
My whole body trembles, and I know I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to. And the truth is, I want to feel him, too. I want to feel his bare skin with nothing between us but this insatiable need. It’s as if every moment before this one was a dance leading to this inevitable collision, as if it were all a storm brewing. Tonight, the storm breaks. Tonight, it rages.
“Take it,” I say, and he flexes his hips, breaking me open and forcing his full length past the barrier, burying it deep inside me.
I cry out in pain, my whole body clenching. Devlin lets out a choked groan, reaching down and prying my legs open, spreading them wide and grinding himself deeper, until our hips meet. I can feel the hot length of him throbbing inside me, stretching me to bursting, and tears spring to my eyes. Devlin draws back and thrusts into me hard again, ploughing me open to take his size.
I bite down my lip so I won’t cry out again, but I can’t help it. Pain clutches me in its teeth, and it’s all I can do to keep from sobbing. Devlin leans up on his elbows for leverage and drives into me with deep, powerful thrusts. Each one draws a cry from my lips, but after a while, the cries turn from pain to pleasure. Devlin goes even harder, a primal, animal grunt escaping his throat each time he slams into me with bruising force. I want his roughness, need his violence.
“Harder,” I gasp, and he hammers into me so hard my head bangs against the headboard, over and over until I can’t do anything but hold on to him and let go of everything else in the world.
“I’m gonna cum inside you,” he says, his voice rough and wild.
“Devlin—”
“Shut up and come with me,” he says, lowering himself onto his elbows.
I wrap my arms around his neck, throw my head back and close my eyes, but Devlin takes my chin in his hand and lowers it. “Open your eyes,” he purrs.
Our gazes lock together, and he begins to move again, slowly at first and then harder again. The connection between us is so intense I can’t bear it, but I can’t close my eyes, either. Pleasure builds in my body, and I wrap my legs around him and grind myself up against him. The tension inside me coils tighter and tighter, and Devlin bites down on his lip and grabs my thigh, lifting it higher and driving into me one last time and not pulling back.
My insides feel raw and sore, and a shock of pain goes through me as he stays locked there, forcing me to take every agonizing inch of him. He grinds against me harder, his hips flexing as heat blossoms inside me when he fills me. The sensation of him spilling into me sends a shock of forbidden excitement through me, and despite the pain, my own pleasure crests again. I gasp out his name as orgasm grips me, pulses rippling through my body as he throbs inside me over and over, giving me everything.
Afterwards, Devlin collapses onto me, clutching me to his chest like something precious that he’s about to lose. I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him close and cradling his body in mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says against the crook of my neck, his voice choked.
“It’s okay,” I say, laughing a little. �
��Pretty sure I got more than you did today.”
He doesn’t answer, and for a long time, neither of us move. Our skin is slicked with sweat, but I only inhale his scent, relishing the salty tang of his skin and the scent of shampoo in his blond strands when I press a kiss to his head.
I’m dozing when a rap sounds on the other side of the wall. Devlin stiffens, but when the knock doesn’t sound again, he slides out of me and rolls off the bed. Turning his back, he picks up his jeans from the floor and pulls them on.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, suddenly vulnerable in this big bed alone.
“Yeah,” he says, leaning over to give me a quick kiss. “We’d better get up, though.”
I swallow hard and nod, a knot forming in my throat. I don’t want to get up in front of him, but he stands over me with a delighted grin on his face. “Now you’re shy?” he asks, his eyes glinting with humor.
“Well…”
“Crystal,” he says. “I just saw every inch of you, and went down on you, and made you cum screaming my name while I came inside you. I think we’re past being shy about nudity.”
I let out a scoff of frustration. He’s a guy—an experienced guy. Of course he wouldn’t get it. Gritting my teeth, I throw off the sheet and hop off the bed. There’s a big red stain on the white sheet where I lay.
“Fuck,” I say. “I’m sorry. I can… Pay for dry cleaning or something.”
Devlin bursts out laughing. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him genuinely laugh, and it’s even more startling than his voice. His laugh is low and rich and sweet as his voice, a sound so beautiful it twists painfully in my chest. I simultaneously wish he laughed more and am selfishly glad that I’m one of what must be a small handful of people who see something rare and genuine from Devlin Darling.
“You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says, his eyes sparkling with humor.
“Shut up,” I say, turning away to hide my embarrassment. I mean, I fucking bled all over a guy’s sheets. That’s something so humiliating that even hearing his laugh can’t erase the embarrassment completely. My homecoming dress lies crumpled on the floor, too sad and pathetic to put on again. That sure as hell won’t save my dignity. Ignoring it, I stomp over to his dresser and grab out a T-shirt.