Maybe Alex and Richard couldn’t do anything, but I could. Almost before I knew it, I was sprinting down the hallway toward their stairwell.
“Where are you going?” Alex asked, alarm in her voice.
“Stay up here,” I yelled. “I may need you.”
“Don’t you do it!” Alex warned.
But I couldn’t hear her. I wouldn’t. My hands hit the push bar on the door to the stairwell, and the door flew up. The stairs were just ahead of me.
Chapter 19
Standing at the Abyss
She felt her blood beating in her ears, pounding like a drum. She felt a warm yearning fill her body. An undeniable hunger. Even though she tried to restrain herself, the surrounding zombies pushed her body along like dark floodwaters. Irresistible and forceful, carrying her along.
The horde was wrapped around her, surging toward the main hospital. They were moaning expectantly, desiring the same thing that she yearned for. Wanting to end their hunger. It had been a while since they had truly feasted, and, like her, they felt the bloodlust.
“Give yourself over to it,” the Night Visitor spoke into her mind. “You know you want it.”
And she did. She wanted it more than anything. She wanted to feed. She had to. She couldn’t hold it off any longer. Ever since she had been transformed from something living to something between life and death, becoming some kind of abomination, she had staved off the hunger. She had stopped herself from taking down a living, breathing human. That was a line she would not cross. Could not cross. She knew if she did, she could very well not come back from it.
But with the blood pulsing through her body, she felt as if this was the night. There was no use holding back. It was time to feed.
She had seen the flash of light inside the building. That was just ahead on the left side of the street. Her job was to guide her army of the dead to that window. They wouldn’t know how to get inside, but she did. She would be their instrument of destruction.
She scanned the road for anything she could use and saw a long piece of twisted metal. On the end of it was a small chunk of concrete. That would do. She elbowed some of her undead cohorts out of the way and scooped up the piece of metal, hoisting it in her hands. It felt good. It felt deadly.
The light had come from a window just ahead of her. Twenty feet down the side of the building was a glass doorway. She side-stepped through the zombies, knocking several of them out of the way with the piece of metal. She wasn’t gentle about it, either. She ended the existence of at least two deaders with blows from the piece of metal, but none of their undead friends cared. They wanted to feast.
Kara made it to the door, bashing a zombie out of the way. She let out a wail and swung the metal forward. It smashed into the glass, shattering it and spraying shards into the hallway. Instinctively, the zombies knew it was their opening, and they started forward, walking around their queen.
From inside, someone let out a scream, and that only excited the zombies. Kara stepped back and let her horde loose. They flowed past her and into the hallway. She would let them do their deadly work, and she would get hers. Finally.
Gunshots exploded from inside. Kara saw blood blast out of the side of one of her zombie’s heads, and it went down, but she knew there were so many more. One was no loss, and they were easily replaced.
A man appeared in the hallway. He had a rifle in his hands and began blasting away at the zombies. Blood exploded in coronas on each bullet's impact, spraying blood onto the other zombies. Kara can tell it was a high-capacity weapon by the way he pounded away at the zombies. Her undead soldiers were falling, but she knew she had more soldiers than he had bullets. It’s only a matter of time.
The man’s gun went dry, and he got to work bashing the zombies with the butt of the rifle, howling like a man possessed. He was protecting the people he loved, trying to give them time to escape. But no matter how much he fought, it was a losing cause as he was outnumbered ten-to-one. The zombies surged down the hallway and swarmed over the man, knocking him to the ground. Then they went to work on him with their hands and teeth, literally taking him apart, a bloody piece at a time.
His screams echoed down the hallway, and Kara drank them in. They seemed like music to her ears, filling her body and soul as she stood out on the street watching her soldiers do their bloody work.
The Night Visitor’s voice filled her mind. “It’s time. It’s time for you to finally feed.”
She swayed back and forth, feeling almost light on her feet from the heady sensations infusing her body.
“Yes,” she said, her voice coming out like a low hiss.
It was time.
She took her first step toward the opening, ready to give in to the deep dark desires that she had kept at bay for months. But no longer. There was no use fighting it.
Just as she took that next step, a voice shouted from behind her.
“Kara! Stop what you’re doing!”
She staggered and stumbled forward in a shaky, stutter step.
“Kara, please, don’t do this.”
She slowly turned around, pivoting her body, and ended up facing in the opposite direction she had been looking. Standing across the street, Joel stood in place, a look of horror frozen on his face.
“Kara, let me help you,” he said, pleading not only with his words but with his body as he reached out with his arms toward her.
Chapter 20
Never Give Up
It was her. Almost alive but trapped in the half-dead flesh.
She was standing twenty yards away, looking like death warmed over. Her clothes were tattered and stained with something dark and crusted that I didn’t even want to think about. Worst of all, her eyes looked even deader than I had seen them in our last encounter.
Behind her, inside the hospital, I could see zombies ripping a man apart. There was so much blood. It painted the walls, their hands, and their faces. Deep inside the building, I heard gunshots and someone screaming. I saw the backs of zombies surging down the hallway in pursuit of whoever was yelling and shooting, and I prayed that they were fast enough. Fast enough to get away.
She stood in the street, swaying back and forth, looking both uncertain and menacing at the same time. I knew she was faster than the undead, but I don’t know how fast she could move. Maybe she could sprint at me, but I couldn’t run. I had to try something to get through to her.
“Kara, please, come with me,” I said. “We can help you.”
She didn’t move but seemed to measure me with her eyes, soaking me in. I didn’t know if she even recognized me or was sizing me up as a meal.
“I know you’re inside there,” I said. “Just come back with me. Doctor M is working with a doctor in Cincinnati to develop something to help you.” I watched to see if there was any change in her expression. All that came back to me was emptiness as if she were no longer even present in that husk of a body.
“I miss you more than words can say,” I said. “We can help you.”
An ice-cold wind blew in from the west, cutting into my body, but what she said next chilled me more than the wind.
“You can’t help me,” she said, and her voice had a deep raspy quality while also sounding robotic. “YOU are the reason I’m like this.” She took a long, deliberate step toward me, and I knew I should have been running, but I couldn’t make my body move. I was locked in place like a statue.
My mouth went dry and dusty. I gulped, trying to moisten it.
“I tried to save you,” I said.
She stopped and raised her arm, pointing a rigid finger in my direction. “You played God and didn’t do as I asked. You should have shot me in the head like I asked. Instead, you made me this!”
Her voice had raised to a scream, echoing off the buildings.
“You doomed me,” she said as she pulled back her hand and pounded on her chest with a fist. I heard the hollow thud of the impact even over the wind.
“I did what I did,” I
said, and I knew it was the weakest of arguments. “I couldn’t lose you. I...I had to do something.”
She took another step in my direction and said, “But look what you did.” She spread her arms out as if to encompass this new and terrible creature that she had become.
“I can’t help what you’ve become,” I said. “And I don’t care. I’ll take you however you are.”
“Would you?” She shouted out the question. “Nothing can hurt me. Nothing. Not even you!” Anger rolled off her in waves. “I’m more powerful than you can ever be. What if I like what I’ve become?”
I felt as if all my strength were draining out of my body, but I found enough energy to say, “You don’t mean that. Deep down inside you, I know what you really are is still there. What God made you.” I took a tentative step in her direction. “I can help bring you back. You just have to give me a chance.” This time, I put out my hand toward her, imploring her to take it and come with me.
“You should know that God has forsaken me, Joel,” she said, and her voice was more frigid than the icy wind blowing down the street. “I’m lost, and that’s because of you, and I listen to a new master.”
“No!” I shouted. “No, no, no. Don’t you say that!” This time I felt a heat rising from within me. The problem is that I was starting to get loud, and the undead were taking notice.
The few zombies closest to the opening turned and looked my way. As usual, they didn’t discriminate. They saw a warm, tasty human, and suddenly I was on their radar. They didn’t need to fight through all their undead friends to get a meal when I was out there in the open. So, as was their way, they started toward me.
“Kara, we’re running out of time,” I said. “You’ve got to come with me now.”
She stood still, taking me in, looking empty and devoid of any human emotions.
I figured I had about a couple of minutes before things got really hairy. There had to be some way to break through to her. So, I decided to just lay it on the line.
“I love you,” I said. “You have to know that. I’ll never give up on you. Ever.”
Something in her face faltered for a moment, and I could swear I saw a hint of her humanity breakthrough, but it didn’t last. Her face twisted into a grimace, and she looked down at the pavement for a second. When she looked back up, any trace of humanity was completely gone.
“I will never forgive you for what you did to me,” she said, and her tone was flat and gray.
I was surprised that she didn’t start toward me. Instead, she stood with her feet planted flat on the street. She still held an ugly piece of twisted metal in her hands, turning it over and over again.
Maybe she didn’t want to be the instrument of my destruction? Then again, she didn’t have to be. She had an army behind her, and they were killing the people we had seen, and she had led them there. She had broken the doorway in and let them loose on these innocent souls.
Maybe there was nothing left of Kara in that husk of half-dead flesh? She could be lost forever.
What I didn’t want to acknowledge was that she was a dangerous being. She was capable of snuffing out these people without having much of a second thought about it. That thought left me with a difficult question to answer.
How could I let her go on living when she was capable of such wanton disregard for life? Just like her, I had a weapon in my hand. Maybe I had no other choice but to end her? Maybe that was truly the most merciful thing I could do for her? And perhaps it was the best thing I could do for everyone?
I slowly raised my rifle and brought it to bear on her, aiming at her head. There was nothing steady about my aim, and I knew it wasn’t the cold, causing my hands to shake.
For her part, she didn’t move or even flinch. It was as if she were daring me to take the shot.
Over her shoulder, the first of her zombie horde passed the threshold and were coming toward me. I made those human noises. Therefore I was on their menu. Nothing new there.
A question flitted at the back of my mind that maybe she wanted me to do it? Maybe there was a bit of her humanity remaining under her undead exterior that wanted me to end her? To end her suffering? Maybe she wanted me to prevent her from crossing a line that she didn’t want to cross?
I realized that I just laid out a whole string of questions and maybe’s. The cold, hard reality sat right in front of me. Kara had become a dangerous creature, dealing out death. How could I let her live?
But my aim still wavered, and I felt an ache in my chest. My eyes watered, and it wasn’t the cold wind coming out of the west causing that.
I said, “Please.”
I’m not sure if it was to Kara, to me, or God. I wanted this burden lifted.
I felt the tension of the trigger under my finger as I slowly increased the pressure. It was like the same tension that people in barrels must have felt before they toppled over Niagara Falls. At that last second, they must have asked themselves what the hell they were thinking.
The pressure was reaching the point of no return, and then it breached past it, but just as I pulled the trigger, I tugged my aim to the left. My bullet flew past Kara, and she didn’t flinch in the slightest. Instead of hitting her, the bullet struck a tall, gangly zombie in the forehead and blasted what was left of its brain back onto the following undead creatures.
I shifted my aim twice and took down two more deaders but stopped there. It was useless to continue. There were way too many of them, and I had too few bullets. My desperate hope was that I could draw some of the undead out of the hospital and away from the people inside.
I took a long step backward and yelled, “Come on, you dead sons of bitches! There’s fresh meat out here. Come and get it.”
As was their practice, they paid no attention to their dead colleagues splayed out on the ground. They also showed no fear of my rifle as they streamed past Kara.
Just as she was about to disappear in their numbers, I locked eyes with Kara and shouted, “I’m not giving up on you.”
That was the last I saw of her as the zombies swarmed around her, blotting out any view I might have of her.
I slowly walked away from them, silent tears streaming down my cheeks, while I shouted insults that I knew they didn’t understand, but it made me feel better.
It was when I turned around that I learned that not all of my problems were coming from Kara’s direction. At least two dozen zombies were headed my way from the west. That forced me to take a quick detour as I ran for the backside of the research building. I only hoped that the backdoor was still unlocked.
Before I turned the corner, I took one last glance back toward where Kara had been, but I only saw the faces of the undead staring hungrily back at me.
Chapter 21
Different Sides
The day wasn’t a complete piece of shit. At least the back door was open, but that was a small consolation. My girlfriend was most likely lost to the dark side. Kara’s zombie horde had slaughtered all those people inside the hospital, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
Feeling like every bit of energy had been sucked out of my body, I still had to find my way back to Alex, Richard, and Brother Ed. Each step took considerable physical and emotional effort as I reflected on what had transpired between Kara and me.
I don’t know who I was fooling when I said I’d never give up on her. I got the distinct idea that she had given up on me. No amount of optimism or bravado was going to change that.
I knew there was always prayer, but that didn’t seem to be working for me right now. They say there are no atheists in foxholes, but I felt like I was all by myself in my little shit hole of a life.
I was barely aware of the sound of footsteps heading my way around a corner on the third floor. I hoped to hell it wasn’t Private Soto because I had had it up to my ass with the dead right then.
Just to make sure, I pulled up, tucked myself into a shadowy doorway, got my gun ready, and waited for what was coming my way.
The footfalls got louder, so I aimed my rifle at the corner where all the noise came from.
Three seconds later, Alex slid around the corner, wearing a wild look in her eyes. It took her less than a second for her to spot me. Or rather, my gun.
She skidded to a stop, but Richard didn’t catch me or my gun. He plowed into Alex and nearly knocked her off her feet. She stumbled forward and was forced to slap a hand against the closest wall to keep from tumbling forward.
“Dammit, Richard!” She yelled.
I jumped out of the shadows and shouted, “It’s me! It’s me!”
As it turned out, Richard hadn’t even seen me at all, and my exclamation caused him to jerk backward in shock. His arms shot out from his side, and his eyes went wide as back peddled away from me.
All this hullabaloo took three seconds to drop from sixty miles an hour to an idle. Richard placed his hand against his chest and looked as if he might hyperventilate at any second.
“What the hell are you doing there, hiding in the shadows?” Alex asked.
“I snuck around the back way to get away from the zombies,” I said, stepping out into the corridor.
“Well, we thought you were dead,” Alex scolded.
“You seemed pissed enough to make me wish I were,” I replied. “Where’s Brother Ed?”
As if on cue, Brother Ed slunk around the corner, his shoulder slumped and his head down. Had I been a real threat, I would have cut him down. The problem was that it looked as if he didn’t give a shit.
I wasn’t too far behind him in so many ways, though. Life sucks, then you die.
“I could have done more to save those people,” I said.
“What could you have done?” Alex said. “Those people were gone as soon as Kara showed up with her gang of dead things.”
Books of the Dead | Book 9 | Dead of Winter Page 9