CHAPTER XXV
Wondering what new terrors awaited her, Zoie glanced uncertainly fromdoor to door. So strong had become her habit of taking refuge in thebed, that unconsciously she backed toward it now. Barely had she reachedthe centre of the room when a terrific crash of breaking glass from theadjoining room sent her shrieking in terror over the footboard, and headfirst under the covers. Here she would doubtless have remained untilsuffocated, had not Jimmy in his backward flight from one of theinner rooms overturned a large rocker. This additional shock to Zoie'soverstrung nerves forced a wild scream from her lips, and an answeringexclamation from the nerve-racked Jimmy made her sit bolt upright. Shegazed at him in astonishment. His tie was awry, one end of his collarhad taken leave of its anchorage beneath his stout chin, and was nowjust tickling the edge of his red, perspiring brow. His hair was on endand his feelings were undeniably ruffled. As usual Zoie's greeting didnot tend to conciliate him.
"How did YOU get here?" she asked with an air of reproach.
"The fire-escape," panted Jimmy and he nodded mysteriously toward theinner rooms of the apartment.
"Fire-escape?" echoed Zoie. There was only one and that led through thebathroom window.
Jimmy explained no further. He was now peeping cautiously out of thewindow toward the pavement below.
"Where's the mother?" demanded Zoie.
Jimmy jerked his thumb in the direction of the street. Zoie gazed at himwith grave apprehension.
"Jimmy!" she exclaimed. "You haven't killed her?"
Jimmy shook his head and continued to peer cautiously out of the window.
"What did you do with her?" called the now exasperated Zoie.
"What did _I_ do with her?" repeated Jimmy, a flash of his oldresentment returning. "What did SHE do with ME?"
For the first time, Zoie became fully conscious of Jimmy's ludicrousappearance. Her overstrained nerves gave way and she began to laughhysterically.
"Say," shouted Jimmy, towering over the bed and devoutly wishing thatshe were his wife so that he might strike her with impunity. "Don't yousic any more lunatics onto me."
It is doubtful whether Zoie's continued laughter might not have provokedJimmy to desperate measures, had not the 'phone at that moment directedtheir thoughts toward worse possibilities. After the instrument hadcontinued to ring persistently for what seemed to Zoie an age, shemotioned to Jimmy to answer it. He responded by retreating to the otherside of the room.
"It may be Aggie," suggested Zoie.
For the first time, Jimmy became aware that Aggie was nowhere in theapartment.
"Good Lord!" he exclaimed, as he realised that he was again tete-a-tetewith the terror of his dreams. "Where IS Aggie?"
"Gone to do what YOU should have done," was Zoie's characteristicanswer.
"Well," answered Jimmy hotly, "it's about time that somebody besides medid something around this place."
"YOU," mocked Zoie, "all YOU'VE ever done was to hoodoo me from the verybeginning."
"If you'd taken my advice," answered Jimmy, "and told your husband thetruth about the luncheon, there'd never have been any 'beginning.'"
"If, if, if," cried Zoie, in an agony of impatience, "if you'd tippedthat horrid old waiter enough, he'd never have told anyway."
"I'm not buying waiters to cover up your crimes," announced Jimmy withhis most self-righteous air.
"You'll be buying more than that to cover up your OWN crimes beforeyou've finished," retorted Zoie.
"Before I've finished with YOU, yes," agreed Jimmy. He wheeled upon herwith increasing resentment. "Do you know where I expect to end up?" heasked.
"I know where you OUGHT to end up," snapped Zoie.
"I'll finish in the electric chair," said Jimmy. "I can feel bluelightning chasing up and down my spine right now."
"Well, I wish you HAD finished in the electric chair," declared Zoie,"before you ever dragged me into that awful old restaurant."
"Oh, you do, do you?" answered Jimmy shaking his fist at her across thefoot of the bed. For the want of adequate words to express his furtherfeelings, Jimmy was beginning to jibber, when the outer door washeard to close, and he turned to behold Aggie entering hurriedly withsomething partly concealed by her long cape.
"It's all right," explained Aggie triumphantly to Zoie. "I've got it."She threw her cape aside and disclosed the fruits of her conquest.
"So," snorted Jimmy in disgust, slightly miffed by the apparent easewith which Aggie had accomplished a task about which he had made so muchado, "you've gone into the business too, have you?"
Aggie deigned no reply to him. She continued in a businesslike tone toZoie.
"Where's Alfred?" she asked.
"Still out," answered Zoie.
"Thank Heaven," sighed Aggie, then she turned to Jimmy and addressed himin rapid, decided tones. "Now, dear," she said, "I'll just put the newbaby to bed, then I'll give you the other one and you can take it rightdown to the mother."
Jimmy made a vain start in the direction of the fire-escape. Fourdetaining hands were laid upon him.
"Don't try anything like that," warned Aggie; "you can't get out of thishouse without that baby. The mother is down stairs now. She's guardingthe door. I saw her." And Aggie sailed triumphantly out of the room tomake the proposed exchange of babies.
Before Jimmy was able to suggest to himself an escape from Aggie's lastplan of action, the telephone again began to cry for attention.
Neither Jimmy nor Zoie could summon courage to approach the impatientinstrument, and as usual Zoie cried frantically for Aggie.
Aggie was not long in returning to the room and this time she bore inher arms the infant so strenuously demanded by its mad mother.
"Here you are, Jimmy," she said; "here's the other one. Now take himdown stairs quickly before Alfred gets back." She attempted to place theunresisting babe in Jimmy's chubby arms, but Jimmy's freedom was not tobe so easily disposed of.
"What!" he exclaimed, backing away from the small creature in fear andabhorrence, "take that bundle of rags down to the hotel office and havethat woman hystericing all over me. No, thanks."
"Oh well," answered Aggie, distracted by the persistent ringing of the'phone, "then hold him a minute until I answer the 'phone."
This at least was a compromise, and reluctantly Jimmy allowed the nowwailing infant to be placed in his arms.
"Jig it, Jimmy, jig it," cried Zoie. Jimmy looked down helplessly atthe baby's angry red face, but before he had made much headway with the"jigging," Aggie returned to them, much excited by the message which shehad just received over the telephone.
"That mother is making a scene down stairs in the office," she said.
"You hear," chided Zoie, in a fury at Jimmy, "what did Aggie tell you?"
"If she wants this thing," maintained Jimmy, looking down at the bundlein his arms, "she can come after it."
"We can't have her up here," objected Aggie.
"Alfred may be back at any minute. He'd catch her. You know whathappened the last time we tried to change them."
"You can send it down the chimney, for all I care," concluded Jimmy.
"I have it!" exclaimed Aggie, her face suddenly illumined.
"Oh Lord," groaned Jimmy, who had come to regard any elation on Zoie'sor Aggie's part as a sure forewarner of ultimate discomfort for him.
Again Aggie had recourse to the 'phone.
"Hello," she called to the office boy, "tell that woman to go around tothe back door, and we'll send something down to her." There was a slightpause, then Aggie added sweetly, "Yes, tell her to wait at the foot ofthe fire-escape."
Zoie had already caught the drift of Aggie's intention and she now fixedher glittering eyes upon Jimmy, who was already shifting about uneasilyand glancing at Aggie, who approached him with a business-like air.
"Now, dear," said Aggie, "come with me. I'll hand Baby out through thebathroom window and you can run right down the fire-escape with him."
"If I do run down the
fire-escape," exclaimed Jimmy, wagging his largehead from side to side, "I'll keep right on RUNNING. That's the lastyou'll ever see of me."
"But, Jimmy," protested Aggie, slightly hurt by his threat, "once thatwoman gets her baby you'll have no more trouble."
"With you two still alive?" asked Jimmy, looking from one to the other.
"She'll be up here if you don't hurry," urged Aggie impatiently, andwith that she pulled Jimmy toward the bedroom door.
"Let her come," said Jimmy, planting his feet so as to resist Aggie'srepeated tugs, "I'm going to South America."
"Why will you act like this," cried Aggie, in utter desperation, "whenwe have so little time?"
"Say," said Jimmy irrelevantly, "do you know that I haven't had any----"
"Yes," interrupted Aggie and Zoie in chorus, "we know."
"How long," continued Zoie impatiently, "is it going to take you to slipdown that fire-escape?"
"That depends on how fast I 'slip,'" answered Jimmy doggedly.
"You'll 'slip' all right," sneered Zoie.
Further exchange of pleasantries between these two antagonists was cutshort by the banging of the outside door.
"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Aggie, glancing nervously over her shoulder,"there's Alfred now. Hurry, Jimmy, hurry," she cried, and with that shefairly forced Jimmy out through the bedroom door, and followed in hiswake to see him safely down the fire-escape.
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