by Leanne Davis
Hunter provided some relief. He took the pressure off Asher and replaced his stress with relaxation. Kyomi urged him to keep Asher involved, playing cards, and communicating. She thought it would help Asher overcome the withdrawal symptoms that he was currently experiencing in his attempt to cope with the crisis.
“I don’t think it’s going to be much longer,” Hunter confided quietly to Kyomi as they worked alongside each other one hot, summer day. Hunter appreciated the physical release of tension he got from working and also having a place to go where he felt like he almost belonged. She did not reply to his sad, soft statement. She nodded as she unhappily realized it was time for Asher to face the forthcoming loss of his mother, and Kyomi wasn’t the woman he needed to experience that dreaded encounter.
That woman was Daisy.
Asher was scared to even be with Daisy. He hid behind Kyomi but there was no reason to do that anymore. Kyomi understood that, even if he could not. In anticipation of what was coming, Asher, her dear friend, who was poised to lose his beloved mother, needed his true love beside him, not her. Only Daisy would do. And it was time to make sure she was there.
Finally, the right time arrived to do what Kyomi dreamt of doing for many, many months. Truth be told, it started about the time she’d kissed Hunter. Shortly afterwards, he became the center of her evenings and days, and eventually her whole world, even if she’d never admit that to him. But Asher’s mother was dying. She had no wish to dump her boyfriend, who was a true friend at this point. Especially while he was in denial and trying to avoid anything that rang of reality. From the way he ignored his feelings for Daisy and his need for her now, to the admission that his mother was dying of terminal cancer, and Asher had to face the truth and say goodbye for the last time.
Kyomi knew the right moment to insist that he face the truth was now, starting with Daisy.
Maybe if Kate hadn’t been sick, Hunter would have gone back to the city long before now. For the first time in his life, being at River’s End mattered more to him than his ambition and thirst for power. He had no desire to go away from here. Being here for his family suddenly spiked in value, reaching an importance that he totally underestimated before. Although Asher and he didn’t discuss it, he was also there for Asher’s moral support. As company. For a laugh. Someone to distract him and take his mind off the horror show of watching his mother slowly die.
Sometimes they shared late night drinks and played cards. Sometimes they didn’t drink at all but sat in silence on the porch, just happy to be together.
In all honesty, it made Hunter view his own mother differently. He kept showing up at his parents’ house more regularly, just because. Because he was close. Because he could. Because his mother was alive and healthy and still here. After years of ignoring them, Hunter finally saw his family as the priceless gift they were. He rarely came home to visit until now. He delayed answering his mother’s messages for a day, sometimes two before “getting around” to them. As if his parents and brother mattered less than his latest deal or catching up on paperwork or whatever other petty issue kept his attention from them.
Now? There was nothing to take his attention from them and he kept fearing all the things that could happen unexpectedly. That’s why he often visited them on his way from Kyomi’s ranch to Asher’s. They both commented on his new look in clothing, including the dirt and mud that usually clung to him. But he waved it off by saying he was helping a friend and never elaborated beyond that. Graciously, they didn’t push for details. Despite how innocent it might be with his best friend, Kyomi, others might not realize their friendship was truly the cleanest and purest there could be. Other people might try to read things into it that weren’t there. As, perhaps, he failed to understand Kyomi’s arrangement with Asher.
“Hunter, I’m not going to get sick and die.” Startled at her words, Hunter all but choked on the bite of chicken wing he was about to eat. She tilted her head and watched him with kind eyes as she said it.
“I know that. You’re young and healthy and not sick. Why would you say that?”
“Because. I know how hard it is watching Kate die, while Asher and Cami have to live through it, I just wanted to reassure you, I’m fine. Your dad’s fine. I’m fine. For now, as much as anyone can say it, we are all fine.”
“You think Kate’s dying too?” He dropped the wing and his stomach suddenly soured.
Kailynn paused from scraping the pasta salad on her plate. She too dropped her fork and it clinked on the plate. Staring at him with a sad, long look, she nodded. “Yes. She is.” Then her eyes filled with tears and her face reddened. “I don’t say that easily nor am I okay with it. I’m just trying to survive like everyone else. I need to be there for Erin and she’s struggling hard to be there for Jack. But I just wanted you to know that I’m physically okay. But I guess none of us are okay or will be the same again, huh?”
“Asher won’t even talk about it. Or admit she’s sick. I don’t know what else to do for him,” Hunter confided, pushing his plate away. He set his elbows on the table and rested his forehead on his hands.
“You’re already doing it by being there. It relieves Kate to know that he has Daisy and you here for him. That’s what Asher needs most of all. Keep doing that,” replied Kailynn.
“Okay. I guess it has to be enough for now anyway.”
They became quiet. His younger brother, Landon, now twenty-five, worked out of town and wasn’t home, and Hunter missed the three of them being together. “What about your job? And Francine? Anything new on that horizon?” Kailynn suddenly inquired.
“Not much. Work keeps reaching out to me and I simply continue extending my leave of absence. I’m not officially fired and I didn’t quit, but I don’t know if I’ll go back to work for my wife’s lover’s father. I started the divorce proceedings. Those are moving forward.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Crystal clear. Love should be like what you and Dad have. What Kate and AJ have. I wish I could spare AJ the pain he’s enduring. Too soon, his heart will be ripped out, but that kind of love doesn’t resemble my marriage. It isn’t something you have to get through. It isn’t supposed to be a cover for another affair. It isn’t supposed to be shared with other relatives. No. I have no doubts in my mind. It’s already settled.”
“Then you know you have our support. Again, if you need anything, we’re here and if you need a place to stay or work, there are all kinds of work on this ranch that don’t include you ever once stepping into dust or dirt.”
He rolled his eyes. “I can handle dirt. But I’m good for now.”
“Okay, then. Just realize, so am I. I love the extra company and having you check in on me, but do it because you want to see me, not because you’re just making sure I’m still alive.”
He got up and walked around the table to give his mother a giant bear hug. She laughed but then she started to cry as she hugged him back.
When they all did that, it felt okay. They laughed and smiled and hurt and cried for the others and themselves. It was a terrible thing for anyone to endure. What no one knew was where Hunter spent most of his time. Who would have guessed he was getting dirty by working on a ranch? The progress he and Kyomi made doing the extensive upgrades, repairs, clearing and basically tidying up of her family’s homestead was almost miraculous. It needed all the TLC to keep it from falling over and now it even functioned better as a ranch.
Hunter worked there without even once going inside her house. He still had not set eyes on her dad. Tom Wade could have been a ghost. Dead. Hunter wasn’t so sure he wasn’t. She was alone on that ranch, of that he was almost one hundred percent sure, but for some reason, she persisted in ignoring his questions and comments. And after seeing the stress it caused her, and the discomfort, Hunter backed off and gave it up.
One day, while taking a break, he sat with Kyomi on an old plough, one of so many rusty relics left at the edges of the fields. Her legs swung as she tipped ba
ck a water bottle and drank several gulpfuls. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she stared out towards the spring-brightened field. Then she handed the water to him and he had a few gulps. Hunter couldn’t help marveling at the natural synchronicity in how they interacted. In ways he never expected to with a woman, and certainly not from doing farm work. Sharing a water bottle was blissful. He loved his time with her. He drank and wiped his mouth exactly the same as she did. “How much longer before you return to real life?” she asked. Something she hadn’t brought up during the months since their visit to his penthouse.
“You mean, ‘til I return to the city? I don’t know yet or care. They haven’t outright fired me. I think, I’ll stay here at least to be with my mom after Kate’s death. It’s gripping her pretty hard. And Asher too. I know I don’t do very much. I hope I provide some comic relief, and I even manage to earn a few smiles when we play cards or stay up getting drunk. He sometimes mentions his feelings about losing his mom. At least, I hope I’m helping a little. The only time I drink is with him.”
She smiled, still staring forward. “You don’t have to justify when you choose to drink or explain anything to me. I told you I believed your habit of drinking was strictly situational.”
“I just wanted to clarify things. Considering all the hard work I do, I might as well stay clean and sober to reap all the health benefits.”
They fell quiet again, as so often happened between them. It was amiable and comforting. Then he said, “It’s getting close. Things are going downhill fast now for Kate.”
“Yes. I sensed that as well. I broke up with Asher last night. He needs Daisy beside him now. She can get him through this, if she loves him. He needs to love her too and, hopefully, they can figure out the rest.”
Hunter’s heart slammed into his chest. The calm, even tone of her voice didn’t match the sudden thunk of his heart. He jumped to his feet and started pacing. She waited practically all day to tell him that? Then she sits on the old plough as ordinarily as can be before announcing this life-changing news? Crap. Why was she always so blasé? About everything? Relationships, love, and the man she claimed was her boyfriend? How could she be so awesome, honest and heartfelt, someone he watched with admiration, concern and almost adulation, to suddenly turn so heartless about her most intimate relationship?
“You what?! You dumped him while his mom is dying? That’s awful. Even for you.”
Kyomi instantly bristled, her spine snapping straight and her eyes flashing as she looked at him. “No, I just released the idiot to the woman he really loved and always has loved. She loves him and a blind man can see that. I was just the friend. The good companion to ease his loneliness. As he was to me. He used me during the last few months when Daisy started becoming exactly what she was before they officially broke up: his best friend. The person who claimed his heart. Just one look at them and any moron can see that.”
“Yes. So why did you date him all this time? And sleep in his bedroom? Why? If you knew you were playing second fiddle, how could you accept it? Why was that enough?”
“I was doing him a favor. He’s afraid of Daisy. He fears he’s not enough for her and she’ll leave him again. Keeping me around allowed him to be near her, which is essential to his well-being right now. It keeps him from fully combusting spontaneously. I knew that. I always did. I just didn’t tell him. And we’re friends, not that it’s any of your business but he and I will forever be friends. We ate dinner after I broke up with him. We haven’t slept together in months, certainly not since Daisy re-entered the picture, and jolted his life topsy-turvy. He’s having a hard time trusting any relationship with her, but can you blame him, considering? And my presence let him go on pretending it wasn’t happening, when we all saw it was. So I’m fine, Hunter. Not heartbroken. Nothing got broken, period. I’m not the poor, left-behind girlfriend. Not a sad, abandoned past flame. I was in complete control of my emotions the entire time. Believe it or not, I never got pathetic or lost my self-esteem. It was exactly what I wanted with Asher. I chose it. So stop with all the anger and indignation. Stop judging me and pretending I’m somehow tainted or broken because I choose the men I share sex and my friendship with. Don’t ever think that a woman can’t have both without falling in love. I can. I did and it was never sad or pathetic, not like you portray it. I chose him and he chose me for being helpful and fun.”
Hunter paced faster. Then he stopped and spun around, throwing his hands on his waist with his elbows out. “How can you be the smartest woman I know and accept so much less than you deserve?”
“Oh, like the examples of love I see around me ought to prove how great it is? My parents? Asher and Daisy? You? I mean, you’re the prime example of why one should never fall in love so deeply you lose your damn mind. I will never allow another person to have that kind of power over me. If I fear they can destroy my life, my self-esteem, my job, my home, and my entire sense of self, I can’t even be myself. I never want to be you. So when you judge me, try to remember how fucking smart I am when compared to what you’ve done with your life.”
Damn. She struck a sharp, painful area. Total bullseye. They both breathed heavily from the emotional exertion as they stared unsmiling at each other. His mouth twisted up in disgust. “That was rude. And so beneath you.”
“So was what you said to me. And every time you’ve criticized what I have with Asher.”
“Because you don’t have anything with Asher.” Hunter’s frustration kept rising like a geyser from his stomach. It was ready to erupt from his mouth in a shrill scream, directed right at her. He was yelling at her. Why? He didn’t know. But how frustrated he was while watching her settle for less commitment and emotional investment than she offered or deserved. Than even Hunter fucking gave her. She should have turned her relationship with Asher into friendship long ago. Before Kate got sick. “You have far more going on with me than you do with him and yet his is the bedroom you share?!”
Her entire body jerked as if she’d been tased and the electrical currents were causing her to tremble. “Are you seriously yelling at me about my sex life? It’s none of your business! I don’t need a forever love match to enjoy sex. Oh, my God. Grow up or at least quit being such a hypocritical, macho asshole.”
“I know!” he yelled back. “I know it’s none of my business. I know it isn’t wrong. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. For so long. It just does… and you’re so blasé about everything. About my ex. About her almost catching us kissing. About your boyfriend. About us. About whatever feelings we have. I just wonder if you ever have actual, important, deep feelings? Do any relationships matter to you? Beyond being honest, do you ever just freaking care about others?”
Stunned, her mouth dropped open and shut, only to open again. “Of course, I care. I care about Asher and what’s happening to him. I care about my family or I wouldn’t be here doing all this work.” She waved her hands around to indicate the projects that still awaited her small, capable hands. “And you too, you stupid buffoon, until about now, that is. I did care about you. You were the first person I wanted to tell about Asher and me. Why? Why did I want to tell you? I can’t fathom that now, but I think it was because I cared too damn much what you’d think.”
Instantly on her feet, she stomped towards him and pummeled his chest like a little gnat flitting about. Then she whipped around to stomp off but he went after her. He grabbed her arm, spun her around and they stared at each other with long, searching gazes, traveling down their faces and bodies until they collided. They were locked, loaded and on target. Breathing hard, the silence was charged with pheromones and a timeless sensation.
He stepped forward. She did too and in that exact moment, she flung her full body at him and he caught her. They started kissing. It was like the day in his bedroom: fast and spontaneous. Fueled by their anger, it quickly became a wild, hot ride of wonderfully tasting lips and tongues. It was as if they picked up exactly where their first kiss left off. Stunned at
how rapidly it happened, and the feelings that swirled and zapped all of his nerve endings, Hunter could only surrender to her. Their mouths twisted and danced in an ancient knowledge of lips and tongues as their mouths easily became sealed. He grabbed the base of her neck, cradling the back of her scalp in his hands as he bent down to sip on her mouth like it was filled with golden nectar.
She fit so well in his hands; her body was close to his. In a blink, they could fall to the ground and strip each other naked. The chemistry was there, along with the buildup and anticipation. It was undeniable now as it had been going on for a long while. Admittedly or not, it was there, just beneath the surface of each interaction they had.
“Wait. Wait,” he said finally, dropping his hands to her waist and gently pushing her back. He kissed her again, unable to resist the taste of her lips. “We aren’t doing it like this.”
Foggy-eyed with a matching desire to his, she blinked a few times as if her brain was busily trying to process what he was saying. She released him and nodded, pushing her hair back. “No. Of course not. Not out here in the field.”
“That too. But I meant the things between us. The unresolved things. My marriage. Asher. If and when this happens, I want to make sure it is strictly about us. Just me and you. I want to give it every chance to thrive and survive. I want to make sure we do everything right to keep it all about us. We can control the way we start. I learned what happens when relationships go wrong. You can’t do anything about the outcome, but we can control the beginning.”
She stepped back and turned away from him before she started pacing. Her hair sprang around her head in bouncing spirals. “You’re suggesting there is a start here? That we’re considering something more than whatever this kiss symbolizes?”
“Can you really deny the mutual heat we both experience whenever we’re together?”