by Leanne Davis
“Daisy’s hitting my arm. She can hear you. She’s shaking her head; I’m supposed to deny all that. But I’ll just say Kyomi wouldn’t abandon you, so be grateful for that. You make sure to take care of her as best you can. Appreciate her. I didn’t get dumped by her just so you could be a dick to her. Never.”
Hunter sighed. “I really fail to understand the relationship between you two.”
Asher laughed into the phone. “It was a beautiful thing. A great friendship. I mean it. I’ll cut your dick off if you get stupid about this or with her. So do the right thing, and other than that, I’m also your friend, so I’ll do what I can. You can stay at the ranch. Even with your loud baby. If you need to. Ouch.” Asher suddenly exclaimed into the phone line. Hunter grinned maniacally, feeling sure that was Daisy’s work.
“Tell my cousin I love her and I’m glad she knows how to keep you in line. And ditto all that about you to Daisy.”
“Well, my ex didn’t have a love child. So…”
He groaned, realizing he set himself up for that. Then he smiled, rubbing his neck. “Glad to hear you laughing. Making jokes. Feeling better even if it is at my expense. Maybe you’re feeling better all around.”
“I am. Still miss the shit out of my mother. All day. All the time. But having Daisy here… well, it’s better than good.” Asher paused and then exclaimed, “Ouch. I mean great.”
He loved Daisy.
Then Asher added, “Seriously. We’re here. Both of us. I’m sorry for the shock and all that and Francine is jeopardizing the relationship between Kyomi and you. But Hunter? You’ll handle it. You’ve handled much worse. I know it. Even ranching. I mean, you became a rancher for Kyomi. That proves how you feel about her and what you are capable of. It was the only reason I never interfered, on Kyomi’s behalf, of course. But you’ve got this. So compared to that…”
“You knew?”
“That you were ranching Kyomi’s place? Of course, I did. I’m not stupid. You just didn’t want me to rag on you about it. I didn’t understand why until she dumped me for you. Then it all came together.”
“All this time you never said a word.”
“Didn’t need to. She and I—”
“I know, you two have that special understanding.”
Asher laughed but his voice came back lower and more serious. “So do you two. In ways far beyond us. You know that. She knows that. Don’t lose it. You’ll be okay.”
Hunter squeezed the phone. “Oddly, I needed the vote of confidence. I’m kind of freaking out. So thank you.”
“Oh, and we’re upstairs now but I can hear Francine yelling your name. Dude… sorry…”
Hunter cringed. He listened and identified her shrill screaming. “Yeah, me too…”
Hunter hung up and walked downstairs to begin his new life. He was following his ex-wife to the home she bought with her lover/stepbrother and their baby, his baby. How could this possibly be his life?
“How did it go?” Kyomi’s voice over the phone immediately made the tight knot in his stomach ease.
“As obnoxiously as you’d expect. On the plus side, I seem to have an inborn knack at nurturing that I never knew existed.”
Kyomi let out a sexy, little laugh over the line. “Okay, explain that to me.”
“Baby was crying when I got home. I texted Mom what to do and she sent me back a list. So I followed the list. Get this? Francine got mad at me for doing it so well. Said she’d been working for a month just to learn how to hold the baby and execute all the tasks I did. Seemed kind of offended I could handle him better than her.”
“I think one time is great but I’ll bet at two in the morning it’s a little tougher to be so smooth.”
“I took the two a.m. feeding too. He slept straight through until then. We survived it like bosses again.”
“Really?”
“Really. I mean you just check off the list. Mom’s list is golden. Platinum. Should be laminated and sold to all first-time parents. Perhaps most parents already have it. Whatever. But I did it. I managed it.”
Her sigh was soft and long. “That’s really fantastic. I’m… I know how hard this has been to wrap your head around, but it’s nice to know you’re already bonding, I can’t… you’re dealing with reality, Hunter. You didn’t deal with it before. Francine’s betrayal, I mean. You ran and hid and drank and never turned your phone on. With this? One day in and you’re already doing it. I’m really proud of that. And you, I’m mostly proud of you.”
He wanted to shut his eyes and slam his forehead against the steering wheel. Since he was driving, there was no closing his eyes. But he felt guilty at her words. He wasn’t bonding or inventing a new formula for longevity; he wasn’t being anything but functional. He was running through a list of items to accomplish the end task: getting the baby to sleep, and therefore establishing peace and quiet. Hearing an infant cry was his nemesis now, maybe even more than Francine. The list? It really worked. Turned out he was more efficient and quicker to adopt it than Francine. While watching her when she called him in this morning, he found it excruciating. Far simpler and quicker for him to just take over and get it done.
He had no sense of connection or care in this family version of himself. He performed the tasks, like he might tackle any chore. Keep the end goal in mind, take all the steps to get there, perform the necessary tasks, in the right order and voila! Success. End goal conquered. Maybe he should tell Kyomi that? No. It made him sound too ruthless. She hadn’t fully experienced him as a parent. She knew his manual labor side, and his executive persona. Now she should see him as a father.
Father.
What a joke.
Francine a mother and him a father.
They didn’t deserve to be so blessed and they were not set up to succeed at all. First and foremost, they already ended their relationship. That coffin was buried a long time ago. As far as he was concerned anyway. Now look at him. Following Francine’s car with his child in it all the way to her new home in Edmonds, Washington. Not even a city he would choose for himself.
“What’s next?”
“Check out the townhouse she and shithead bought together. Try and get her out of it on a short sell and find something more convenient in the city. Or whatever. I don’t really know. I quit working for too long, and Francine never worked. We aren’t rolling in extra cash. I’m not sure where to go tonight. Maybe a hotel.”
“Hunter?” The question in Kyomi’s voice caught his attention.
“What?”
“I don’t think Francine should be left alone with the baby. She’s trying. I know she is. Or at least, whatever… but I think you should be there. Staying at her place. Consider the baby’s safety and I think you’ll agree.”
He groaned. “I don’t want to spend another night in the same dwelling as her.”
“Right. But… I don’t think you have a choice. Not anytime soon. Remember, it’s Francine. She’s not as capable as other women her age. Really. Stay there.”
“You want me to stay with my ex?”
She laughed softly. “I want you to keep that baby alive and healthy. So yes, I do.”
“Dramatic much? She managed to keep him alive and well for a month.”
“I gathered she was only alone for a few days. She ran to her mother and was turned away and ended up abandoning her infant to me, a strange woman. So yeah, keep your ass at her place. Baby must always come first.”
“Fine. But remember this: it was your idea. If I kill her, it’ll be on your conscience.” He turned his signal on, glancing over to check his blind spot and switched lanes to keep Francine in view. “And Kyomi?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being the only girlfriend who would insist I sleep at my ex-wife’s new townhouse.”
She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, not the girlfriend I ever thought I’d be. But thank you for being the boyfriend I know I can trust.”
“You can,” he answered softly. “Trust is all we’r
e going to have for a while. Kyomi… this is going to be tough. Long distance. This baby. Francine. She’s a train wreck. Be on your toes. She will try to manipulate you and get between us. She wants to ruin us. Don’t ever listen to her without telling me. You know?”
“I promise.”
“Oh, and Asher and Daisy are back. They got in early this morning.”
“Oh, good. I’ll drop by and say hello.”
“Right. Because they missed you.”
She let out a laugh. “You still get so surly about me and Asher. Daisy and I are friends now. She’s better than awesome.”
“I know. Only you would consider your ex’s new girlfriend a good friend.”
“She’s a lot like me. That’s why he dated us both.”
“Oh? Excellent.”
“And I love to tease you when I see how much it bothers you. But Hunter? Seriously. It’s you for me. As Daisy is for Asher. Okay? You know that.”
“I know.” He was used to admitting the obvious. Even if he did get a little grumpy with the Asher subject.
“Will you call me? Tonight, after you get settled?”
“Yeah. Before the midnight feeding or afterwards?”
“God, that’s so weird. Whenever you have a chance. And if things get too crazy and you can’t sleep, don’t stress, I’ll understand. Shoot me a text.”
“You… you are too much. Way too good.”
“I know. Think of all the rewarding you owe me…” Her voice turned husky through the sound system of his car.
“You’re in full surround-sound and some things shouldn’t happen while I’m driving alone. So I have to say goodbye. I’ll call you.”
Her husky laugh didn’t help…
“Well, how did the night go?” Kyomi’s voice over his cell phone soothed him from feeling tired after the chaos he endured overnight.
“Crying. Lots of it. But Mom’s list kicked some ass. Just as long as I do it. Francine’s kind of useless about it.”
“She’ll get the hang of it… Right?” Kyomi’s voice started out confident but faded into questioning.
He snickered. “I hope so. But I just took over. I called Larry about my job and I meet with him next week. By the time I get back, it’ll be a whole year since I walked off the job. At the time, I showed very little care as to how it affected him.”
“You must be really good at your job.”
“I am.” He pressed his fingers into his aching head. “I really am. I made Larry a shit load of money, but more importantly, I stabilized the in-person retail stores. While most were closing, I managed to get a foothold for some of them and make the necessary changes to keep Stanton Stores popular and relevant, when other historic stores were closing their antiquated doors.”
There was silence. “Kyomi?”
“I’m here. I just… there is still so much I don’t know about you. Who you are in the city. An ambitious, ruthless person you’ve talked about in the past, who can perform miracles such as stabilizing an entire chain of national retail stores. Sometimes I forget how far out of my league I am with you.”
“I was those things once. But this year changed me. Changed it all. You know that. Don’t doubt it. Doubt whether or not you want to be with a single father who is living with his baby-mama after learning about the baby two days ago. But don’t doubt the man you knew until then. Okay? City-me is a bit more ruthless than ranch-me, but when I’m with you? It comes together to make me an all-around better me. I intended to go back to some kind of work like this. I just wasn’t thinking Stanton Stores after I witnessed Stanley Stanton banging my ex. But here I am. We need the money.”
“What is her place like?”
“Smaller than you might think. She bought it right smack dab in the tourist-trap of downtown Edmonds. It’s nice, I suppose, with a water view of Puget Sound. Impractical for a baby though. It’s three stories up, no yard, and boasts a dangerous balcony. It was bought for her taste, not as a home for this child.”
“And do you have your own room at least?”
“Sure. Paid the last two months’ house payments. So yeah, I’d consider my room fairly compensated for. It’s just not a large place so there is way too much Francine.”
“Two months of nothing but you, her and the baby?”
“Kyomi… it’s not cozy or cute. It’s miserable and agonizing. I hate it. Every word she says is like someone screeching in my ear. Fingernails on a blackboard. A banshee shattering my eardrum. It’s—”
She burst out laughing. “Okay so paternity leave with Francine is miserable. But it’s important that you are there. That you get to know Russell, help Francine learn how to care for him, and mostly, get the full understanding of what it’s like being a father. This has been a lot. I can only imagine how all-over-the-place your emotions are. But you need to be there.”
He sighed, listening intently as always to her typical spot-on analysis. “You’re always correct. No matter how much I can’t stand hearing it. Come see me this weekend?”
“No. I think you guys need more time alone together.”
“Kyomi. Please come. I need a break.”
“You need to take care of your infant. I’m sorry, but I think it’s important for you to focus on him. Right now. Starting now. We’ll be okay. We’re solid; no need to worry about a few weeks apart, right?”
He nodded, even if she could not see him. “Right.” His depression fell over him like a heavy fog. No work. No ranch. No Asher even. No Kyomi? How could he stand living without Kyomi anymore? “Tell me what you’re doing. You talk to your dad? Did he manage to stay sober for dinner?”
Kyomi grew animated about her father’s third sober dinner in a row. He was trying for once. There was no talk of sobriety or recovery. But eating a few dinners with her was a huge step forward. One she wasn’t willing to fully trust or believe in.
“And your mom? Where is she? What did she see this week?”
“You can’t really care to know all that after what you’ve been dealing with.”
He almost told her. He hated the townhouse, Francine, the baby care, and even the baby sometimes for obligating him to be there. But that sounded monstrous. He could not tell her those words. “I like hearing what you’re dealing with. It’s more important to me. Always will be. No matter what.”
“Well, she’s in New Mexico and tomorrow they’re headed to something called White Sands National Monument. She claims it has white gypsum sand that accumulates up to sixty feet high and is constantly being displaced by the wind. She’s pretty excited to see it. Supposed to be an incredible and unusual landscape.”
“It sounds kind of awesome to have on one’s bucket list for tomorrow.” He hoped his heavy sadness wasn’t being conveyed to Kyomi. He was jealous of her mother. She was traveling North America in her retirement. Hunter wished he were doing that rather than being stuck with two people who were now relying on him for all of their support. Neither of whom he ever asked for. Especially the female.
“I have to say, I know she uses her traveling to ignore me and my brothers and her sadness in life, but some of the places they go are truly magnificent. Someday, when we’re old and gray and our work is behind us, we should think about going there.”
He sat up straighter. Clearing his throat, he said with seductive twang in his tone, “That would mean, Ms. Wade, that you and I lasted a very long time.”
She sighed into the receiver. “I hope so. Every single day I hope that more and more.”
“Okay, then let’s make a promise to go to the what was it?”
“White Sands National Monument.”
“Okay we’ll make it there. We promise to go there when we are… what? Seventy?”
“Sixty-five. Preferably, while we’re still mobile and healthy.”
“Deal. Promise me? Do you really promise me, Kyomi Wade?”
She let out a long laugh. “I promise.”
It was something to look forward to. But for right now? Hunter felt
like he was drowning, what with Francine and the incessant crying. It started again. “Sounds like you’re being summoned again,” Kyomi said softly.
“I am.” But I wish it was you, he wanted to say. Not the two of them. But if he said it, he’d lose her for sure. What kind of monster would he be?
“Go now, be daddy. But be nice to her.”
“Fine. You ask for so much. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay… Hunter?”
He was about to hang up when he heard her call his name. He set it back to his ear. “I can’t wait to go to White Sands National Monument with you.”
He shut his eyes and ignored the baby’s crying. Then Francine was calling him. Hunter was wishing Kyomi would say that she loved him. Now. Tonight. At this moment. He could use that thrill to get him through the next night. And the next day and the next night. It stretched into one long road map of the list before him. “I can’t wait for thirty-five years to go with you either.”
Then he hung up. If she wanted to chide him or call him chicken, she was too chicken to say what she really felt.
While he was stuck in a place he never asked to be.
Chapter 19
ENTERING HIS FORMER workplace after spending a year away felt surreal to Hunter. Just as bizarre as being called a dad. He had to start thinking about his own son. Upon entering the high-rise building that sat in the heart of Seattle, he went right back to where his life used to be. However, everything seemed to be alarmingly dizzying to him. He was no longer the Hunter that once lived and breathed in this place.
Now he was the Hunter who had to provide for his baby. And the baby-mama that took him for all he was worth, lost it all, and then had his baby.
The opulent entry and reception of the Stanton Stores corporate office were as luxurious and high-end as their brand. The new receptionist didn’t recognize Hunter when he checked in and passed her. Using his pleasant voice, his charming, flirting voice, as Kyomi would say with a roll of her eyes, he casually greeted the new employee.