by Leanne Davis
Eventually, she was so exhausted and satiated, she felt wonderfully languid as she fell back on the bed. Hunter slid his hands up her legs and she felt him poking around her opening.
“Condom on?”
“Completely.” His voice was beside her ear as he kissed and licked the outer shell. She sighed and lifted her hands to encircle his neck.
“Oh, God, I love doing this with you.”
He stilled. “You love doing this or me?”
“Both.”
He didn’t move. Fluttering her eyes open, she found him staring down at her. All the intense heat and teasing fun and sexy innuendoes were over. All at once, it was serious and demanding. “What?” she asked breathlessly when she saw his look.
“Say it one time. If you do love me, say it. I need to hear that from you, Kyomi.” She tilted her head up and stared at the ceiling not answering. Finally he asked, “Why? Why not? Why won’t you say it?”
She sighed deeply. “I loved my family and you know how that ended. I told you how I feel. How committed I am to you. To us. I mean… they’re just three words.”
“They are the three words I need to hear.”
He started to lean back and she grabbed him. “No. Don’t go. I do. I love you. Of course, I love you, Hunter.”
He nodded. Leaning forward, he planted a small, chaste kiss on her lips, “Why was that so hard?”
“It wasn’t at all. Not now.”
Then he fully impaled her. Catching her breath, she bit her lip as she let out a deep groan of pleasure. “Ooh. That’s so good.”
He kissed her and his body moved again. Then he muttered, “Always. Everything is always good with us.”
Thrusting deeply, Hunter made her surrender to his body, letting him fully fill her with his heat. Magnitude. Strength. And vulnerability. They all blended together into the most perfect combination she could imagine.
But…!
Her eyes fluttered open at the exact moment Hunter suddenly stilled inside her.
“Hunter? Hunter? Come out here. I need you.”
Hunter’s jaw tightened and his eyes hardened. Kyomi blinked, feeling confused for a moment, due to sex-brain. “Fucking Francine,” he muttered.
He gritted his teeth and pushed himself into her deeper. Harder. Drilling her.
It was no longer the celebration of a beautiful reunion and the first time she finally said she loved him. It was no longer a festival of their naked bodies winding together in slow, hot, deep, beautiful sex. No, it became more sordid and rushed. Trying to get off while Francine yelled for her parenting partner.
“Hunter. Damn it. What is taking you so long? Russell Wilson is wet and cranky. I need you!”
Hunter replied with a deep, dark, sound that could only be described as something between a grunt and growl. When his face strained and tightened, Kyomi fully sheathed him deep inside her before he spewed again. It was hot and warm, like lava. His head nestled into the place where her neck and shoulder met. He kissed her gently, almost regretfully saying, “Fucking Francine.” He slowly slid free of her, rising up and removing the condom before throwing it into a waste basket by the dresser. He stalked over to the door naked and jerked it open, staying behind it to hide his lower half.
“What?”
She stopped yelling and cackling. Her previous conversation ended since no one responded to her. She caught sight of Kyomi over his shoulder, lying naked on the bed but she flipped the covers over her a second before Hunter angrily flung the door open.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. What do you want?”
“I… Russell Wilson… I need you.” Her voice faltered as she alternated her stare from his naked chest to Kyomi’s. “You two are still…?”
“Fucking? In love? Yes, to it all. I’ll be out in a few minutes. Try not to mess him up before then.” He slammed the door. Anger seemed to emanate from him as his head fell forward and his shoulder blades stiffened.
Kyomi pressed her lips tightly together, feeling slightly unsure of this Hunter. She cleared her throat, rushed to her feet and stepped closer to him. Setting a hand on his back, she said gently, “It’s okay, Hunter. Go out there. I know. I understand. The baby will always come first. It has to be that way.”
He took a fist and slammed it into the door. “It’s not okay.”
She stepped back, having never seen him so angry he would take it out on any object. Ever. Even at the peak of his anger with Francine’s betrayal and cheating.
“Hunter… it’s your baby. I know that. I told you…”
“No. You misunderstand.” His gaze flipped over his shoulder and sliced into her. “It’s not okay with me. I don’t want this. Her. Him. Them. I don’t want them interrupting my life. Interrupting my fucking. Sex. With you. I don’t want to live like this.”
Kyomi stepped back again. She was shocked. Appalled. He started pacing in the small space. “I can’t even fuck you without my screeching ex-wife’s voice in my head, in my ears, physically screaming my name as I come? I can’t live like this. I can’t… I just don’t want to do this.”
“It’s only temporary. It’s a means to an end. It’s—”
“My life. It has to include her in it now. There is no denying that fact.”
She tried to ignore the statement, I don’t want this. Her. Him. The “him” was Hunter’s own son. Knowing that made her heart beat faster and her palms slick with sweaty nerves. No. He didn’t mean his own baby. His own son. His own child.
She licked her lips. “But he’s your son.” Her voice trembled into a weak whisper.
“A son I never asked for. I used birth control to avoid having babies, or at least, I believed she used it. I never asked for this.”
Calm. Be calm and supportive. He went through a lot the last year, mostly caused by the woman who was yelling his name. Still. Even after he opened the door, showing Francine they were all but naked and said he’d be right there. She was calling his name again. It was ludicrous. Irritating. No doubt there was no one more annoying than Francine Stanton Rydell.
But Hunter still had a son. Francine was still the mother of his son. Something deep inside Kyomi disapproved of his current reaction.
“Lots of people don’t sign up for the stuff that happens in life. You still have to deal with it, Hunter. I thought you told me the list from your mom was working. And you were doing okay.”
He stopped pacing and waved a hand in the air. “Yeah. I am. I rock that list. I can do the entire thing in thirty minutes and he’s almost always asleep. Problem is, I hand him off to her, and then he instantly becomes a crying, screaming mess and so does she. It’s an endless loop.” He ran both hands through his hair. It was spiked up now after the sweaty, hot sex had obviously soaked it. His hands were making it worse. He paced the room, still buck naked. His lean, tight ass was showcased when he turned around to go the opposite direction.
Then he flipped around the front way, heedless of his manhood dangling there. She bit her lip and lowered her head. He was ridiculous. Saying scandalous things now. But she didn’t fail to notice the fatigue that was visible around his eyes. She believed Hunter was suffering from a newborn haze of exhaustion.
She walked over to him and stopped him dead. She had to grip both of his shoulders to get him to quit moving. “Hunter. Slow down. Stop for a second.”
His head bobbled when she shook him gently and only then did his gaze land on hers. Eyes widening, he sighed as he shut his eyes. “I didn’t mean to say that. About… about Russell.”
“Out loud? You mean you didn’t mean to say that out loud? Talk to me. For real. Shut her out. Forget her. What’s going on? You’ve been acting like she’s annoying but things are fine. You got this. All of this. The crazy fast changes from single man to single dad. To living with her. And all the soon-to-be changes. Just… slow down and talk to me.”
His shoulders slumped forward and he suddenly stepped closer to her. He grabbed her around the waist and drew her t
o him. He hugged her tightly against him, dropping down and lifting her up so he was clutching her. Startled, she let him hold her tightly. A drowning man grasping for a life preserver.
He nudged back and stared down at her, looking stricken. “You should stomp out of here. How dare my ex-wife disrupt sex between us. Because of the son I didn’t know about screaming out there, right along with the ex-wife. This isn’t what you signed up for, is it?”
“No. It isn’t.” She reached up to brush his hair back. “But that’s what relationships are. All the stuff we don’t sign up for. It’s supposed to be hard. I think that’s why I always avoided them, for real, until I met you. I think you already know that because of Francine and you’re panicking a little bit right now. You’re just exhausted. Tired.”
He finally turned and flopped on the bed, taking her hand. He dragged her back and brought her closer to him. He arranged her comfortably in his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I am so tired.”
“I won’t hold anything you say right now as being your real thoughts. You need to rest. And to reset your mind and body. Why don’t you go to sleep?”
His head flipped up. “But you just got here. And I just told you I don’t want my son. I think you must have some things to say about that.”
“I do. But first… go to sleep. Take as long as you need. I can handle Francine and Russell. All night long if I have to.”
“But…”
“But nothing. This is it. We’re in a relationship. That means doing for the other. Even when it’s unpleasant. Doing icky things like unclogging toilets… or hanging with Francine.” Kyomi grinned, hoping he liked the comparison. The way he used to appreciate her humor. It was noticeably absent since all this went down.
His mouth lifted on one side in a small smirk. Yeah, he appreciated her attempt at levity. “I’m sorry I said that.”
She kissed his mouth. “I just think you’re sorry you said it out loud.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. More knocking on the door. Kyomi rubbed her hand over his furrowed forehead to iron out the lines. The tension between his eyes was visible. She kissed his mouth again. “Just ignore her.”
“I’m sorry I said it out loud. He just… doesn’t seem like he’s mine. It’s not like I’m mean to him. Or don’t like him. I do. I really like the little guy. But he just doesn’t feel like he’s mine. Not in the way I believe he should. I feel like I’m watching the baby of a family friend or a neighbor’s little kid. I can take care of it, and do it well, but it doesn’t feel like my baby.”
“You keep waiting for his parents to show up?”
He nodded, his facial expression hinting at his misery and self-reproach. “Yeah. Yes. That’s what it feels like. Partly because I would never name him Russell. I wouldn’t have a child named Russell Wilson. That doesn’t seem like a name my son should have.” He rubbed both hands on his face hard, leaving his eyes downcast to avoid glancing her way.
“It was unfair of her not to let you at least have a vote in the choice of his name. It’s a good name though. Strong and sure. Russell Rydell. It has a kind of ring to it.”
He snorted. “Not even my last name. Legally. We have to change it.”
“You will. You’ll change it. Because it’s the right thing to do. It’s all still new. It’s okay to take all the time you need to fully adjust.”
“What kind of man does that make me? I swear, I didn’t know I was like this. A monster. Remorseful about my own flesh and blood? I had the best dad. I scored by having the ultimate role model and I turned out to be like this?”
She gripped his hand in hers. He wasn’t just tired, he was totally overwhelmed. His hand squeezed hers so hard, it was almost painful. She rubbed his arm. “You probably hate me for this. For being so weak and horrible.”
“I don’t. Not at all. You just have to work it out. You will. We will. Starting with a good night’s sleep. I’ll go hush all the racket.”
“You just got here. You came to see me. I can’t leave you with her. None of that. I just had sex with you, so I can’t go to sleep now as if I just needed your body for my own stress relief. When I really needed you. I miss you so much.”
She smiled and put a hand on the side of his face, looking up at him. “I miss you that much to. Don’t think I’d ever assume you used me for sex. That’s absurd. Come on, we have a far deeper connection than that. Let me help you. Francine needs your help. Way, way too much of it. And so does Russell. He needs all the help from you he can get. But right now? At this moment? You need my help. So let me give it to you. Take it. That’s who we are. The couple that gets through the hard times. Even the things we don’t ask for. We always manage.”
“Yeah.” He took her hand and pressed it to his mouth. “We do. Thank you. I… I really needed to connect with you. You make everything seem doable. I was floating in the air without direction and you show up to anchor me and remind me where I belong again. Where I want to be.”
“I want to be with you too. We’ll get there. For now, it’s gotta be like this. It won’t be forever. We’ll get through this. I promise.” She rose up and kissed the top of his head, pushing down on his shoulder so he’d fall back into his bed. She pulled the covers up over him and kissed him.
He sighed. “Are you tucking my pathetic ass in?”
She laughed as she slapped his sheet-covered bottom. “It’s such a fine ass, why wouldn’t I?”
He rolled over, wincing as the racket increased. “Are you sure you can handle that?”
“How often is it like this?”
He sighed deeply. “It’s almost always like this, unless I have him completely to myself.”
She had no idea a crying infant was quite so loud. So ceaseless and demanding. She had many doubts that she could face this. But he didn’t need to know that. Standing tall, she tossed her head high and rolled her eyes for him to see her pseudo confidence.
Turning around, she scanned the room until she found his headphones. She set them on his head with soft music playing. Surprised by her extra pampering, he lifted one side up so he could hear her. “I shouldn’t zone out too much. What if something happens?”
“Then I’ll come get you. Between two grown-assed women out there, one of us better be upright. I might want to kill her, but I can temporarily resist the urge. We’ll be fine. Just tune it all out.”
“Are you sure?”
“How could you doubt me?” She smirked, setting his headphone back down before she left him. Dressing quickly, she glanced back at the bed. He might already have fallen asleep. She stepped into the room with the screaming baby, and the now crying Francine, and her self-confidence wavered for a quick moment. No wonder Hunter was so overwrought.
Chapter 21
AFTER KYOMI SHUT HUNTER’S bedroom door, she walked into the living room. Francine glared at her, holding the baby in her arms, but only loosely, and mostly on her lap. “Where is Hunter?”
“Resting. He needs to sleep.”
She snorted. “Must be nice. I’d like to do that sometime.”
“Didn’t you sleep all of last night?”
She glared at Kyomi. “He responds better to Hunter so it makes more sense for Hunter to take him at night”
Kyomi didn’t glare back but merely smiled. “Well, I’m here to help you now, or you get none at all. Hunter’s got his headphones on and the whole night to sleep.”
Francine eyed Kyomi up and down. “Why would you help me?”
“Because Hunter’s tired and in dire need of rest. I care about him and I can help you. If you want it. If not? I’ll go for a walk and look around Edmonds.”
Francine didn’t answer. They had to almost yell to communicate over the baby’s screaming. Kyomi shrugged and muttered, “Fine,” when Francine didn’t reply with a yes or no.
Grabbing her purse off the floor, she shoved her bag to the side and stepped through the front door. She stopped when Francine yelled after her, “Wait! Wait!” Kyomi
looked over her shoulder with one eyebrow raised. “Okay, you can help me.”
Setting her stuff back down, Kyomi approached Francine. They eyed each other skeptically and Francine’s lip curled with disdain. Kyomi kept her face neutral.
“Do you know anything about babies?”
“Do you?” Kyomi replied as the infant’s shrill wails interrupted them, all but piercing her eardrums. “And for the record, neither does Hunter. He’s just winging it. Learning as he goes.”
“Well, at least, he had his mother for guidance,” Francine yelled back. “She came here and stayed for a full week. She taught him a lot.”
“So I heard. I’m sure she did. You’re lucky to have her involved.”
Francine frowned. “What can you do?”
“Where’s the list?”
Francine rolled her eyes. “Oh, God, Hunter and his stupid list. But here…” She handed Russell to Kyomi and walked over to the counter, grabbing a note pad that she tossed to Kyomi. One-handedly, Kyomi caught it.
Change his diaper. Re-swaddle him. Set him on a shoulder to calm if crying. Feed him. Burp him halfway through the bottle. Burp again at the end. Re-swaddle. Check diaper and change if needed. Hold swaddled baby against shoulder, tightly but gently. Sway. Walk. Rock. Soothe with loving words and a soft tone of voice. Repeat as needed.
“When did he last eat?”
“About an hour ago.” Francine rolled her eyes. “I’m not an idiot so I haven’t fed him again. We can’t feed him every time he cries. And it’s too soon since his last feeding. Nothing is working. He cried all the way home.”
“Dirty diaper?”
“Checked it already.”
“Okay. Let’s adjust the swaddle.” She set the little body on the sofa and rewrapped his blanket, tightening it. Russell still cried, his face growing red and wrinkled as he ascended the crescendo until he all but exploded. Kyomi quickly set him on her shoulder, firmly, solidly, but gently. She started walking and did a little bounce. She whispered sweet nothings into his ear.