by Carrie Elks
“She’s already met about ten of them at baby class,” Autumn pointed out.
“Yeah, well she can be friends with them until she’s thirteen. After that she’s going to a nunnery.”
Lydia started to laugh. “Oh boy, Skyler. You’re going to have to run away from home. I’ll help you. I know all the best flights out of here.”
Griff raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to be a bad influence.” From the sound of his voice, he wasn’t looking forward to that.
“Yep.” Lydia grinned. “I’m planning on it.”
Skyler started to fuss, pressing her head against Lydia’s chest. Her little tiny face wrinkled up, as though she was frustrated, and her bottom lip started to tremble.
“Oh god, I’ve made her cry,” Lydia said, feeling her heart speed up. She really had to get over this fear of children crying.
“She’s just hungry, that’s all.” Autumn was completely calm as she walked over. “I’ll feed her and get her ready for bed. We’ll eat a little later, if that’s okay?”
“Of course. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’m ordering takeout,” Griff told her. “You can set the table before it comes. But apart from that, I think we have it handled.”
“You should go and unpack,” Autumn suggested. “We put you in the back guest room.”
“Okay.” Lydia beamed. “Oh, and I need to put Freddie the Teddy in Skyler’s room. Do you think she’ll like him?”
“She’ll love him,” Autumn said, taking Skyler from Lydia’s arms, as she kissed her sister softly on the cheek. “And she already loves you. Look how much she doesn’t want me to take her.”
Lydia nodded and blew a kiss at her niece. “Like I said, I’m her favorite aunt.”
How’s Eddie? Do you need some help with him tomorrow? I can walk him or whatever you need. Thanks for taking care of him. You’re the best. - L. xx
Lydia read the message back to herself before pressing send. She was still feeling bad that Jackson took the dog. Not completely bad – it was still better than Eddie being lonely at the shelter – but enough that she wanted to help wherever she could.
It was just after ten. They’d finished their takeout an hour ago, and Lydia had insisted on cleaning up, taking extra care to make the surfaces shine. Autumn had gone to bed right after eating. Her poor sister was exhausted from all the night time feeds she was still doing.
Griff hadn’t stayed up much later. He and Lydia had talked a little about her upcoming trip to Spain, and he’d told her about his whale watching boat, but she could tell he was aching to join Autumn in bed. So she’d faked a yawn and stretched her arms over her head and said something about jetlag, even though she’d only flown in from New York.
Whatever. It had worked, and now they were asleep, while she was sitting in the queen size guest bed feeling wide awake.
She’d added a few photos to Instagram and answered some messages. Her profile was popular – she had just under a hundred thousand followers of her travel photos – and got a lot of requests for endorsements. But she rarely accepted them. Her income mostly came from her guided tours of different cities and countries.
It was funny how in demand her services had become. Her job had started as a favor to a friend of her father’s, who’d asked her to show him around Barcelona, and let him see it the way locals do. He didn’t want any of the usual tourist destinations – he wanted to eat, shop, and be entertained like any resident would be.
He’d been so bowled over by the experience, he’d told everybody he met about Lydia’s knowledge of the different cities of the world. She hadn’t even known she was the talk of the New York City dinner party circuit until she started getting phone calls asking how much she charged for a week’s personalized tour of different cities.
At first she’d baulked at taking these offers. She traveled because she loved it, not to make money. But a glance at her ever-diminishing bank balance had told her not to look this gift horse in the mouth. Still, she’d quoted an exorbitant amount, fully expecting people to refuse, but the prices only seemed to add to her cachet.
She’d become the travel industry’s equivalent of a rare diamond. People wanted to mention her when they came back from their vacations, as though she was an expensive trinket they’d picked up along the way. Not that she minded. She was being paid to travel, after all. Plus she got to share the joy with her friends – those running tavernas in Athens and selling goods at feiras in Rio. It felt good to be doing what she was doing.
Closing Instagram down, she laid back in her bed, and closed her eyes. But sleep didn’t come. She was too busy thinking about her day. How weird it had been since she’d walked out of the baggage claim and had run that poor kid over, only to see the sexiest muscled thighs standing next to where they’d fallen.
She sighed. Jackson had barely said goodbye when she’d climbed out of the car, and only nodded when she thanked him for the ride. By the time Autumn had run out of the front door to greet her, he’d driven away. Was he annoyed with her for guilt tripping him into taking the dog?
Hopefully her offer of help would make it better.
Her phone pinged, alerting her to a reply. She looked down to see Jackson’s name on the screen.
It’s all good. I’ve got it covered, but thanks anyway. - Jackson.
There were no kisses. She was certain she’d sent him kisses. She scrolled up and saw she had. Yep, he was definitely annoyed with her.
Hmm. She needed to find a way to smooth things out. They were going to be Skyler’s godparents, after all. It would be awkward as hell if they weren’t at least civil to each other.
Maybe she’d ask Autumn for some advice tomorrow. She always knew how to make things better.
A cry cut through the silence of the room. Lydia sat up sharply, looking around. Baby Skyler was crying. She climbed out of bed and padded across the carpet, opening her door as quietly as she could.
Down the corridor, she could see Griff and Autumn standing in front of the nursery door, Autumn in a short nightgown, Griff in shorts and nothing else. Damn, she’d forgotten just how many muscles that man had. He should pay tax on them or something.
The country would never be in a deficit again.
“She’s still asleep,” Autumn whispered to Griff, not seeing Lydia at the end of the hall. “Must have had a bad dream.”
Griff laced his arms around Autumn’s waist, resting his chin on the top of her head as the two of them stared through the open door. “We’ll just wait for a minute, make sure she’s okay.”
“Good idea.” Autumn stroked his cheek.
He dropped his head to kiss her hair, and slid his lips down to her neck. “After that, I’m going to take you to bed and show you exactly how much I adore you.”
Lydia’s heart clenched. The way he was holding her sister was beautiful. They were a couple, a family, and the love radiating from them hit her right in the gut. She was so damn happy for Autumn. After her divorce, Autumn had moved to Angel Sands to run the pier, and she’d met Griff and found real love for the first time.
Autumn deserved all this happiness. She’d spent a lifetime taking care of everybody. Lydia, their father, even Josh, the asshole first husband who never deserved Autumn’s love. And now here she was, all settled and happy.
How would it feel to be loved that way?
She shook her head. That kind of settling down wasn’t for her. She’d go crazy being in one place for too long, everybody knew that.
Silently, she turned and padded back to bed, the ache in her chest still strong. There was only one way she knew how to get rid of it. She opened her purse and pulled an old, fraying envelope out of the pocket. Slipping the letter out, she carefully opened it up.
Dear Lydia,
The throb in her chest lessened as she read her mom’s beautifully slanted script. She’d written this letter a few days before she died, when Lydia was still a baby. She’d been eighteen when their father had give
n the sealed envelope to her, and ever since she’d kept it close, ready to re-read whenever she felt sad or lonely.
There was one paragraph she especially loved. It made everything feel better.
Sweetheart, you’re a light in the darkness. A smile when frowns are all around. You eat up life like it’s a gourmet buffet and I adore that about you. Don’t let that light ever be dimmed. Never stop searching for what makes you happy. Travel, meet new people, discover things you never thought you’d experience. Don’t let yourself be tied down by the world’s expectations because you are so much more than that.
Don’t let the world change you – change the world instead.
She re-read the words, sealing each one of them in her heart. Her mom had wanted her to travel, and if moms didn’t know what was best for you, who did? She folded the letter back up, carefully stowing it away so it would be there next time she needed it.
Yes, Autumn and Griff had something special. And she was so happy for them. But she needed to travel and keep searching for whatever filled her soul.
Otherwise, who was she?
5
She. Needed. Coffee.
Lydia half-walked, half-crawled across the carpeted guest bedroom floor, her hair askew, her eyes open to slits, her hand sweeping away the air in front of her until her fingers curled around the cool door knob.
When she finally made it to the kitchen, she had to lean on the counter to fully wake up.
She wasn’t a fan of mornings. Or any time she had to get out of bed. She could completely understand why Skyler wailed every time her eyes opened in the crib. It was frustrating, especially when you were in the middle of a very nice dream.
One, for instance, that contained chocolate from Brazil, red wine from Spain, and a very naked Jackson Lewis.
Whew.
What was she in the kitchen for? Oh yeah, coffee. Needed it now. She pulled open every cupboard until she found the jar full of grounds, and promptly walked into an open cupboard door.
“Ow!” Rubbing her head with one hand, she reached out for the glass filter carafe with the other, her eyes still squeezed closed thanks to the pain throbbing in her brow.
The glass carafe smashed against the black tiled floor, making Lydia’s eyes fly open. She jumped back to avoid the sea of shards surrounding her. Who knew a glass jug could make so much mess? She frowned again. Why didn’t Griff and Autumn have a Nespresso machine like everybody else? It was like they were living in the stone ages.
Though Griff would make a great caveman. She bit down a smile at the thought.
Though it was a Sunday, he and Autumn were both at work. It was his second busiest day of the week, even during off-season. Between charters and tourist cruises, he rarely took a weekend off. And Autumn had modeled her own working week around his, doing admin work in her little office on the pier on Sundays, while Skyler sat contentedly in her little baby chair, staring out at the ocean.
Autumn had apologized profusely last night for not being there that morning, but Lydia had waved her off. “It’s fine, I’m no fun in the morning anyway. I’ll chill and maybe take a walk. We can catch up later.”
And to be honest, she was kind of liking the silence in here right now. Skyler had woken up three times last night, and even though it wasn’t Lydia who’d gotten out of bed, she’d still winced at how loud the screams were.
Seeing how tired Autumn was, she’d half-heartedly offered to look after Skyler for her today. Autumn and Griff had both laughed.
“Thanks for the offer,” Autumn had said. “But let’s not shoot for the moon too soon.”
Lydia would have taken offense, but her sister was right. She’d never looked after a baby in her life. But how hard could it be? Skyler only slept, ate, and pooped. Yeah, she’d definitely babysit for them this week and show them how easy it was.
In the meantime, she had a mess to clean up. But first she really needed that coffee. And now she’d have no choice but to go down to Autumn’s favorite coffee shop, Déjà Brew. After that she’d work out how to get rid of this mess and secure a new coffee pot.
The sun was warm against her skin as she made her way down the boardwalk toward the main strip of Angel Sands. People were out on their skates, bicycles, and walking dogs. She wondered if Jackson had walked Eddie that morning.
Probably best not to message him and ask. He didn’t need her fussing and assuming he couldn’t cope with a dog. Enough people were doing that already.
She walked past Angel Ices, the ice cream parlor, smiling at a family who were sharing a huge bowl of ten scoops, and waved at the owner of the surf shop, who gave her a grizzled smile and waved back.
Oh, she did like it here. The all-year-around warm temperatures seemed to put everybody in a good mood. Next time she visited she’d bring her photography equipment and take some good shots for her Instagram page.
Déjà Brew, the local coffee shop, was buzzing as she pushed open the door and walked inside. Most of the tables were taken – with families and groups of friends, along with workers or students typing furiously on their laptops, and occasionally taking a break to sip their mochas or macchiatos.
Lydia inhaled deeply, the aroma of coffee making her mouth water. She could probably get high on this smell alone. Joining the order line, she found herself unable to stand still, her muscles as desperate for a caffeine fix as her mouth was.
“Hey you!” Ally, the coffee shop owner, said as Lydia reached the front of the line. Ally was one of Autumn and Griff’s friends. Married to Nate, who co-owned the shop, she was tall and slim and ran along the beach every day without fail. And from the grin on her face she was happy to see Lydia.
Feeling exactly the same way, Lydia reached over the counter to hug her. “Hey. How are you?”
“Great.” Ally grinned. “I didn’t know you were here. You come early for Skyler’s Naming Day?”
“Yep. I promised Autumn I’d be here in good time. Plus I get to have lots of cuddles with my gorgeous niece.”
“I bet they’re all happy to see you. When was the last time you were here?” Ally asked.
“When Skyler was born.” Was it really that long? She’d spent most of December in Europe, at the ski resorts and taking tourists around the Christmas markets. And January and most of February she’d been in Mexico and Guatemala.
“Well I’m glad you’re here now. What can I get you?”
“Just an Americano. Straight up, please.” Lydia looked around the coffee shop. “I don’t suppose you sell coffee carafes, do you?”
Ally shook her head and called out the order to the young kid behind the espresso machine. He looked up, his eyes widening as he saw Lydia standing there. She smiled and he grinned back.
“No we don’t. We thought about selling some coffee machines, but why encourage people to drink coffee at home? We want them here.” Ally tipped her head to the side. “Why do you need one?”
“I kind of broke Autumn’s in my desperation for a caffeine fix.” Lydia grimaced. “I need to get them a new one before they’re home from work. Any ideas where I can find one around here?”
“I can’t think of anywhere. Maybe Frank’s hardware store?”
“Frank’s closed today,” Ally’s husband, Nate, said, leaning over the counter to kiss Lydia’s cheek. “And Hi. How’re you doing?”
“I’m good.” She beamed at Nate. “Or I will be until Autumn kills me for breaking her coffee pot. I guess I should just try the internet?”
“Why don’t you head to the mall near Silver City?” Ally suggested, while Nate took the next order.
“How far is that?”
“About twenty miles. Just up the highway. You can find it easily.”
Lydia ran her finger along her bottom lip. “I don’t suppose there’s a bus route heading that way?”
“Why do you need to take a bus?” a deep voice asked from behind her.
Lydia turned to see Jackson standing behind her, an alert Eddie at his feet. “Oh m
y god, look at you,” she said, leaning down to ruffle Eddie’s ears. “You look so happy. Has Jackson been treating you well?”
“Jack?” Ally said, sounding amused. “Is that dog yours?”
“I’m looking after him,” Jackson told her.
Lydia stood and smiled as Eddie licked her hand. “He’s fostering Eddie until his family is found. Brooke’s on the case.”
Ally nodded sagely. “I’ll call her. I can’t wait to hear her take on all this.”
“Why do you need a bus?” Jackson asked again. “Where are you going?”
He was wearing dark jeans and a grey t-shirt, but no cap this time. Lifting his hand, he raked his fingers through his thick, dark hair.
Lydia sighed. “I need to buy a coffee pot, and Ally says the mall’s the best place.” The barista brought her drink over and handed it across the counter. “Thanks.” She smiled at him.
The barista blushed. “Enjoy.” He stood and stared at Lydia for a moment. “I don’t suppose I can get your number?”
“Um, no you can’t, Ben,” Ally said, frowning. “Stop hitting on our customers.”
From the corner of her eye, Lydia noticed the smile slip from Jackson’s lips. Had she done something to annoy him again?
“You can drive to the mall,” Jackson suggested. “Take Griff’s truck. I’m guessing he’s out on the boat and doesn’t need it.”
Lydia pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth. “I… um… can’t drive.”
Everybody went silent. Lydia looked at Ally, Nate, and Jackson. They were all staring back at her with wide eyes.
“What?” Jackson was the first to talk. “But you’re twenty something years old.”
Top points for not saying her age. Lydia stored that little snippet away in her brain.
“And you’ve traveled all over the world,” Jackson continued. “How can’t you drive?”
“I never learned.” She shrugged. “I grew up in Manhattan. Nobody drives there.” She laughed. “Well everybody drives, but nobody sane, if you know what I mean. I used cabs or public transport. And wherever I travel there’s either great connections or I hire people to take me places. I’ve just never needed to drive myself.”