by Laura Ann
CHAPTER 1
Esther paced the floor, pushing a hand through her long, brunette hair. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” she sighed into the phone. “I mean, it’s not like any eligible men my age are still in Evanswood.”
“Yeah... I can totally see how that would be hard,” Britta commiserated. “Not many of the guys we graduated with stuck around...” she trailed off and Esther knew her friend wanted to say more, but was biting her tongue.
“It’s okay,” Esther assured her. “You can say it. Not many of us stuck around at all. If I was worth anything, I would have moved on a long time ago.”
“Hey, now,” Britta scolded. “Don’t say things like that. You made what you thought was the best choice at the time. If you don’t like it, then do something different now, but it does no good to call yourself names. The past is the past. Change the future instead of getting depressed.”
Esther huffed and smiled. “Oh, Wise One. How can I ever thank you for your wisdom?”
Britta’s laughter slid through the cell’s speaker. “Yeah, totally can’t take credit for any of that. I read so much that the words of books just start slipping out in my day to day conversation sometimes.” They both laughed again. “But seriously, are you sure there’s no one you can ask to help you out?”
Esther plopped onto the small couch in her studio apartment. “Not unless I want to go with Mitch, the grease monkey at Avery’s Auto Repair.”
“Mitch? As in Mitch Thompson? The guy who was two years ahead of us and dropped out of school?”
“That’s him!” Esther replied with sarcastic cheeriness.
“He was actually pretty cute,” Britta mused. “Except for the fact that he used to smoke behind the dumpster.”
“He’s still sorta cute, I suppose,” Esther admitted. “If you can get past the permanent stain of oil in every crevice in his skin, and I think he still sneaks out for a smoke behind the dumpster.”
“Ewww... no way can you ask him. We can totally do better.”
“But how? I feel like I finally want to try to move on and I have no way to do so.”
There was a pause before Britta spoke up. “Move on? What exactly do you mean? Are you saying you’re finally over Elijah?” Britta squeaked.
Esther sighed. “Truthfully? I don’t know if I’ll ever be over him. But I feel like I have to do something. I’ve been stuck here for almost a decade, Brit. I thought I was content. I had always dreamed of the white picket fence next door to my parents, where my children ran between the two houses and stole cookies when I wasn’t looking.”
“What changed?” Britta asked softly.
“I don’t know... maybe I realized I wasn’t content, I was just scared. And being scared cost me the one thing that meant the most to me in the entire world.” She blinked rapidly, doing her best not to cry again. The memories had been especially strong lately and Esther felt like she spent way too much time shedding tears over the past. “I’m tired of being scared,” she murmured.
Britta’s sniffle came through the line and Esther felt a burst of amusement. Britta had always been the empathetic one of the group. If someone else was happy or sad, so was Britta. She soaked in emotions like a sponge.
“Well, my dear Essie... I’m pretty sure I can solve your date problem if that’s how you truly feel.”
Esther sat up straight, her eyebrows straight up. “What do you mean?”
“I have a guy friend who I know would be perfect for you and I’ve just been waiting for the right time to set you two up.”
Esther’s breathing went from zero to sixty in two-point-one seconds. Can I go out with another guy? I mean, I guess that’s what I’ve been planning to do this whole time, but I didn’t really feel like it would happen. This makes it real. Oh my gosh, this is crazy!
“I can hear you thinking over there and I just want to say one thing, then I’ll back off.”
“Okay,” Esther forced out.
“We both know I’m well acquainted with fear myself, so I’ll try not to be too harsh, but Hon, it’s time. It’s time to set it aside and find out who you are. You’re beautiful and funny and intelligent and you have let yourself sit in the shadows for too long. Now you’ve got the opportunity to change all that. You can go and dance the night away in the arms of a gorgeous hunk and let go of everything that’s been draining you. So buy yourself a new set of sexy underwear, a dress that shows off that gorgeous body, slap on some lipstick and move forward!”
Esther laughed as she wiped a tear from her cheek. “What kind of girl do you think I am, Brit? Sexy underwear?”
Britta chuckled. “It’s for courage, Es. Don’t get too crazy. But wearing something that makes you feel desirable, even if it is invisible, totally gives you a boost of confidence.”
“If this guy is such a hunk, why aren’t you dating him yourself?”
“Trust me, this guy isn’t for me. We have a more brother-sister type relationship.”
“Well, that’s a bummer,” Esther complained. “How long have you known him?”
“Long enough. So... do we have a deal?”
“Can you still find another date for yourself? I don’t have anyone to offer in return,” Esther said with a shrug. “Unless you want old Mitch.”
“No, thanks,” Britta laughed. “I’m sure I’ll find someone.”
“Okay... well... if you think this will work, then I’ll trust your judgement.” Esther took a cleansing breath when her heart rate skyrocketed again. “I want to do this,” she reassured them both.
“Yay! I’m so excited!” Britta yelled. “Imagine me hugging you so hard you can’t breathe!”
Esther laughed, knowing exactly how that hug would feel, having had many of them in the past.
“Okay, you go find that amazing dress... and underwear, and I’ll call my friend and get everything set up.”
“Okay,” Esther agreed. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Don’t all the horror stories start with a blind date?
“Great. Gotta run! Bye!”
The line disconnected and Esther slowly lowered her phone to her lap. “What did I just get myself into?” she mused. “No, this is going to be good. Even if nothing happens with this blind date, there are other men out there. Surely at least one other man in the world can make me feel the way Elijah did.”
She stood up and grabbed her laptop from the charging station, then planted herself back on the couch. “Time to find that killer dress. If nothing else comes from the ball, I’m going to look like the strong, desirable woman I want to be. Maybe I’ll even buy the underwear too.”
ELI SHADED HIS EYES as he watched the crane lift the truss into place. Cursing under his breath that he had forgotten his sunglasses, he narrowed his gaze, doing his best to follow the huge machine and make sure everything was working as it should.
A buzzing in his pocket broke his concentration, and he grabbed his phone. “Can’t see anything,” he muttered as he angled the screen around, trying to see who was calling. “Whatever.” He clicked the accept button and put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Eli, my man! What’s up!” Britta’s bright voice came through his speaker.
“Hey, Brit.” Eli looked back at the crane and sighed in relief as the crane brought the truss down to the waiting workers. Turning away from the scene so he could concentrate better, he put a finger into his other ear. “How goes it?”
“Fine, thanks. Did I catch you at a bad time?” she asked.
“Nah. I just finished what I was doing, so I can take a break.” Eli sighed as he entered the air conditioned space of his temporary office trailer. He pulled out his chair and plopped down, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
“Okay, well... you might want to sit down for this,” Britta hedged.
Eli groaned. “Brit... what have you been up to?” he growled.
“Nothing!” she defended. “This sort of just... fell into my lap! I swear!”
Eli chuckled, ima
gining her affronted look at his accusation. He had known Britta for years, since Eli had dated one of her best friends. He winced and put a hand to his heart, the same way he always did when Esther crossed his memory, which was still far too often after ten years of separation.
During his four years of dating Esther, he had come to know all the girls in Esther’s friend group very well, but for some reason, he and Britta had just clicked. They had immediately formed a familial relationship with each other and after Eli and Esther had gone their separate ways, he had continued to keep in touch with the girl who would forever be like a little sister to him.
“Alright, break it down for me, Brit. What’s going on?”
“I have a proposition for you.”
Eli’s eyebrows shot up.
“Don’t you dare let that mind of yours head toward the gutter,” Britta scolded with a laugh. “It’s not like that, I swear.”
Elijah shook his head and grinned. “Then how is it? Because that line doesn’t sound exactly comforting.”
“Lane and Wren want to go to the Christmas Ball this year. Did you get your invitation?”
Eli rolled eyes. “Oh yeah, I got it. That thing is ridiculous, and now that you have to have a date, it’s only gotten worse. Why in the world would you ladies want to go?”
There was a pause and Eli was immediately suspicious. “Brit,” he growled. “What’s going on?”
“Camille is in charge and she’s the one who changed everything to couples, in order to make it more exclusive. She also sent a nasty note to Lane about how it was so sad Lane wouldn’t be able to make it because she’s single. So we’re getting dates to give Camille a slap in the face.”
“Huh. I wasn’t expecting that,” Eli said bluntly. “You’re not wanting me to be your date, are you? Because, sorry, but that would just be all sorts of weird.”
“Good grief, no. I’m not that desperate.”
“Then why are you telling me all this?”
“Because... Lane asked all of us to come.”
It took a minute for Britta’s words to sink in and when they did, Eli felt as if a band were tightening around his chest. “All of you?” he wheezed.
“All of us,” Britta confirmed.
He gulped, suddenly feeling cold and clammy. “So Esther is taking her boyfriend with her?” The words sent a sharper than normal pain through his chest and he folded forward as if to hold himself together.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Elijah Maxwell. You know full well she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“Sure sounds like she’s getting one,” he snarled, turning his hurt into anger. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because, you idiot, for the first time ever, Esther came to me saying she was tired of being scared and alone. She wanted to move on, but she didn’t know how, and she thought this dance might be a good first step.”
“I still don’t get why—”
“And because she still loves you!” Britta yelled in exasperation. “Don’t you see? This is your chance to get her back. She’s been hurting just as bad as you have all these years. She loves you more than anything and a ripe opportunity is sitting in front of you.”
“If she loved me more than anything, she wouldn’t have stayed behind when I left for college, she would have come with me.”
“Don’t pull that victim crap with me, Eli. You knew exactly who that girl was when you started dating. She’s shy, easily anxious and she wasn’t quite mature enough when we graduated to handle that next step. Now she is. She’s lonely and heartbroken and is finally ready to do something about it. Instead of throwing around the same old arguments you did in high school, why don’t you snap to attention and win her back! We both know full well you aren’t over her either, so don’t even think about giving me that as an excuse.”
Elijah sighed and slumped in his seat, all the fight suddenly gone. “You’re right,” he whispered hoarsely, “I’m not over her. No matter what I do, I can’t find the connection we had with anyone else, and believe me, I’ve tried.”
“I know,” Britta sympathized. “I know, Eli, but now you can have it back. She had no one to take and agreed to let me set her up with a friend of mine. She has no idea it’s you.”
“Why would you keep it a secret from her?” Elijah frowned.
“Because she’s just now stepping out and if I pull out the big guns, I’m afraid she’ll run again. She needs you, Eli. She needs you to be willing to help her step over this threshold.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “How do I just let go of everything that has happened? What if she wants to move on but not with me? I don’t know if I can handle another rejection, Brit.”
Britta sighed. “Look, Eli, I am deadly serious when I say she still loves you. It’s apparent in everything about her. So there is no doubt in my mind that if you will come to her, you can win her back. However... on that small chance that we lose her, you can look at this as something like closure, right? Maybe that final rejection will be enough to help you let go and move on with someone else.”
Eli closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the couch. “Yeah... I see your point.” He sighed. “Okay, we’ll give this a try, but if it goes south, I might not talk to you for a while.”
“If it goes south, I’ll bring you a pie every week for a year.”
Eli chuckled. “I’ll hold you to that; apple is my favorite.”
“I know.” The smile was easily heard in Britta’s voice. “Okay. you have the ball details, we can drive together and meet her at the school, that way she can’t chicken out before you have a chance.”
“Sounds good.” He blew out a breath. “Guess I better dust off the old suit.”
“Or better yet, buy a new one. We want you looking your best.”
“Will do... thanks, Brit.”
“Anytime, Weirdo,” she said fondly. “See ya soon.”
Eli stared at his phone for a few minutes before dropping it to his lap. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to all the wonderful times he and Esther had had together, and there were hundreds. Eventually, he came to his favorite memories, where he was holding her and kissing her. She had fit so perfectly in his arms and her mouth was like a puzzle piece that clicked when they came together. He loved her thick, dark hair and was always running his fingers through its soft, silky strands, and her hazel eyes had been fascinating to him, changing colors with every mood or shirt she wore.
She was everything I ever wanted, and she threw it all away. The familiar pain of anger and blame began to rise, but he ruthlessly shoved it away. “No,” he mumbled. “If I’m going to do this, I can’t dwell on that. Brit’s right. I have to start fresh.” He glanced at his watch. “And that new suit might just be the right way to start.”
CHAPTER 2
Esther smoothed her hands down the front of her dress, turning this way and that in the mirror. The green lace dress did a fabulous job of highlighting her curves. The under layer was strapless and backless, but the outer lace layer touched more, creating a boatneck with sleeves and covering the exposed part of her back as well.
She bit her lip in delight, feeling pretty for the first time in ages. Maybe moving on won’t be so bad, after all, Esther mused as she thought of the small train swirling through the air as she danced. Her happiness dimmed as she noted how the dress brought out the green in her eyes. “Green was Elijah’s favorite color on me,” she whispered to her reflection.
Esther closed her eyes and dropped her head a little before forcing it back up. “I have given that boy too many years of my life. He can’t have tonight. He made his choice and left. I’m here, I’m single, and there is no good reason as to why I can’t enjoy a dance with another man.”
She double-checked her hair, pleased with the updo she had created, leaned in close to the mirror to touch up her lipstick, then stood back and nodded. “Here we go.”
It only took minutes to arrive at the hotel parking lot—just like it o
nly took minutes to arrive anywhere in Evanswood,—but in those minutes, Esther’s anxiety level had increased a hundredfold. Her heart was fluttering so badly she was sure she would go into cardiac arrest any minute, and sweat was beginning to drip down the back of her dress. Closing her eyes, Esther pressed her forehead into the steering wheel and slowed down her breathing. In... out... In... out... When she finally felt under control, she lifted her head. “You can do this, Esther. Going on a date with someone doesn’t mean you have to marry him. He’s just yours for tonight, nothing permanent. Elijah will never know and life will go right back to normal by tomorrow.” Her lower lip trembled and she squeezed her hands into fists. “I. Will. Not. Be. A. Mouse.” Grabbing her clutch and keys, she jerked open the door and stepped out. “And who cares if Elijah knows... he certainly doesn’t care,” she reassured herself.
Locking the door, she began the treacherous hike toward the front door where she would wait for Britta in the lobby. Esther sighed in relief when she stepped into the heated air and immediately felt her muscles relax in the enticing atmosphere. Glancing around, she didn’t see her friend, so Esther walked over to one of the accent chairs and sat down, crossing her legs to get comfortable.
It only took moments for her to slip off her coat inside the warm waiting area. Once settled, she began to play with her phone to pass the time. She’s late. I wonder what’s going on? Esther thought as she glanced at the time.
Ten minutes later, Esther was getting anxious, worried she had made a mistake in waiting for Britta. Maybe the guy she had in mind didn’t want to meet me. What if she’s late because she’s trying to convince him that I’m worth getting to know? She could feel her anxiety rising again and closed her eyes to practice more breathing. I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for yoga, she chuckled at the thought as she counted out her breaths.