by Poppy Flynn
There had been a dark satisfaction in Connor's face at the sight of her shattered and boneless by his hand, her voice scratchy from pleading for the fulfilment he refused her. Once she lay wilted and supine among the wrecked linens, Connor finally gave in to his own needs as well as hers. He had plunged his rock-hard cock directly into her sopping sheath in a single, driving thrust, straight to the hilt, and had barely given her aching channel a chance to adjust to his huge girth before he pounded into her hard and fast, hooking her legs across his arms for the maximum penetration, gripping her hips to prevent any movement except for his own efforts in pulling her toward him. His pelvis slammed against her sensitive flesh, the coarse hairs feeling like sandpaper abrading her already tormented skin. Connor gave no quarter, thundering into her over and over again, his head thrown back and his neck muscles chorded as his jaw locked through his clenched teeth, rocketing her skywards before she was fully prepared in a breathless sprint and flinging her harshly off of the edge of that precipice that she'd been teetering on the edge of for so very long and everything exploded into a rapture so intense it was almost painful.
Laurel had screamed her pleasure long and hard as the orgasm had gone on and on while Connor continued to fuck her relentlessly. It had been overwhelming, stealing her breath as well as her senses until she was left fragmented.
Limp and overwhelmed, Laurel had hardly been aware of Connor freeing her from her bindings, of him cleaning her gently and doing his best to straighten the bed around her before he crawled in next to her and they both dropped into an exhausted sleep.
Now, it seemed, he was ready to run again. Should she let him go without so much as a word? Just accept it and pretend sleep, or should she push him; fight for him? Fight for them.
Laurel sighed quietly as she listened to Connor moving quietly around the room. She had spent the best part of a year waiting for him to come to terms with their relationship on his own and it didn't feel like they were any closer. Oh, there had been concessions and improvements at the very beginning, but for the past six months, they seemed to have reached a plateau, which they were never going to move beyond unless one of them did something about it. And that someone wasn't going to be Connor. But did that mean he didn't want anything more, or did he just need a nudge in the right direction?
They had never talked about exclusivity or contracts, but he had never scened with anyone else during the entire year that she'd known him. Well, not here at least. Laurel didn't want to think about the times when he had been back on the south coast, but at least she had the comfort of knowing that amounted to less than a quarter of the time he spent here. Surely, that had to count for something. Maybe she should talk to someone about it. Who, though? Desi was the obvious choice, but she was away. Charlotte and Luanna were pretty new to the scene, so she didn't think they would have quite the right take on the situation to provide any insight. Talking to any of the men was out of the question. Not only were they all close friends with Connor, but she knew without a doubt they wouldn't take kindly to what they would see as another way of topping from the bottom. That wasn't what she was trying to do this time. She didn't want to manipulate the situation for her own benefit—well, not in that context anyway—she just wanted to know where their relationship was going. Didn't she deserve that much? She'd been a good little submissive, following the rules, learning his likes and dislikes, trying not to overstep the mark, playing everything strictly within Connor's comfort zone. But, hey, this was her life, too! And she'd spent an entire year of it treading water, it seemed. How long was too long to wait to find out whether this thing between them was going anywhere? Laurel had never been the most patient of people; in fact, she had excelled herself over the past twelve months. But something was going to have to give—and soon—because she couldn't keep living like this. Not knowing quite where she stood, always wondering if the next time he came back he might step up or step back. Was it really that much to ask to get some resolution?
For the very briefest of moments, it occurred to her that she might not like some of the answers, but she pushed the thought away, refusing to believe that she and Connor didn't have something worth building on.
Still wracking her brain for the person she could ask for advice, Laurel finally hit on the obvious choice. Trinity! The club's assistant manager would be the perfect person to discuss things with. She didn't know the woman that well, but they had become friendly over the past few months and Laurel liked her and trusted her judgment. Plus, there was the added benefit that Trinity had been a member of the same south coast club as Connor before she had taken the job here, so she'd known him for a number of years and could maybe provide a bit of added insight. Perfect!
But as for right now… The bedside clock showed it was just before 5:00 am. She could roll over and sleep for another couple of hours…or she could take matters into her own hands. Rolling over, she groaned softly as the aches in her body from last night's sexcapades made themselves known.
"Shh, go back to sleep, pet, you need the rest," Connor whispered.
Looking up at him, Laurel sighed out loud this time. Maybe discretion was the better part of valour, after all. Instead of either getting up and joining him or simply avoiding the fact that he was leaving, Laurel decided to walk the middle road instead.
"I got your favourite breakfast muffins. Fresh ones. They're in the storage container in the kitchen. You should at least eat something before you leave." With that, she closed her eyes, not wanting to watch him go.
With her back to him once again, she didn't see the torn expression that crossed Connor's strong features or the pained look in his eyes or even the way he dragged his hands through his hair and pulled at it in exasperation while Laurel blithely planned out in her head the best way to approach Trinity. It never even crossed her mind that the reason Connor held back might have a deeper cause than not wanting to be tied down.
Chapter 8
Trinity sat quietly and listened while Laurel explained, in depth, the ins and outs of the 'non-relationship' she shared with Connor. Laurel knew the woman had seen a lot of their club interactions for herself and knew first-hand how things had evolved. A couple of times, as she spoke, it seemed like a cloud would float over the other woman's expression, dimming her eyes, but Laurel couldn't pin down the cause. It was early evening and Laurel had left work bang on closedown, which was unusual, if she was honest, but she had wanted to catch Trinity while the club was quiet and she could have this conversation without any interruptions, so it couldn't wait for club opening hours.
They were sitting in Trinity's office, and the diminutive woman was wearing comfy moss coloured leggings, which reminded Laurel of Connor's eyes, and a baggy tunic top in brown and gold tones instead of the usual fet-wear Laurel saw her in. The outfit made her look even more like a pixie than she normally did, with her brightly dyed, poppy red hair in its spiky, elfin style and her tiny stature. She was one of those women who might inadvertently make even the usually self-confident Laurel feel ungainly and clumsy if she wasn't such a sweet and lovely person.
When she'd finished, Trinity looked at her with something akin to empathy. Or was it just pity? Laurel hoped not.
Trinity was quiet for a while after Laurel finished her story—contemplative. Laurel watched her carefully but didn't butt in, no matter how impatient she felt inside, giving Trinity the time she obviously needed to assimilate and construct her reply.
Finally, Trinity leaned towards Laurel, resting her elbows on the immaculate desk and clasping her hands together while her index fingers steepled in front of her lips. She gave Laurel a long, hard look and exhaled palpably.
"You know, I usually avoid talking about my past situation…although it seems to be becoming a bit of a thing around here lately," she remarked wryly. She rubbed her hands over her face and then cupped her chin with them both, staring at Laurel with unblinking intensity as she considered. Laurel could almost hear the cogs turning in the other woman's mind
and knew Trinity was struggling with whatever it was she was about to say.
"I don't like to think back on it, never mind talk about it, but years ago, I found myself in a relationship—or a non-relationship—very similar to the one you're describing."
Trinity leaned back in her office chair, hugging herself as she swivelled it absently from side to side, gazing blankly at a spot on the wall off to the side, clearly looking inwards to her past.
"I was young and naïve and in love, and he was careful to tell me, very clearly, all of the reasons why he wasn't ready for a relationship." She laughed dryly. "We were friends for a long time. I escorted him to events when he needed a partner, we had dinner together and hung out, and over time—years—one thing led to another and we became lovers. Still on his terms, still without…what shall we call it...a 'proper' relationship; friends with benefits fitted us just perfectly, I guess."
Trinity sighed and was quiet for a while.
Laurel held her breath, realising that she was gaining a little bit of insight into the very private woman Trinity had become today. A woman that no one, inside or outside the club, knew as anyone other than Trinity. Laurel, like most members, didn't even know if that was her real name or just a club name.
"I thought if I was patient, if I tried my best to be exactly who I thought he wanted me to be, then, eventually, he would realise that what we shared was special," she murmured pensively. "I loved him so much, I was prepared to put my life on hold and wait until he was ready for something more."
Trinity shook her head and straightened in her seat, only then turning and looking Laurel straight in the eye. "Turns out that all that patient waiting was just a waste of years of my life," she continued bitterly. "And all the reasons he gave for not being ready for a relationship were bullshit, too. Well, they might have been valid at the time—they were all reasonable and understandable and valid—but they all went out of the window the moment the 'right' woman walked into his life."
Trinity sucked in a harsh, stabilising breath. "The day he told me he wanted to bring an end to our arrangement…" She emphasised the word, using her fingers as quotation marks. "…was the day he told me that he wanted to get married to someone else."
Laurel couldn't help drawing in an audibly shocked breath, too. She didn't know what to say. What the heck did you say to something as tragic and heart breaking as that?
Trinity just waved her off with feigned nonchalance that Laurel recognised all too well. "Sooo…what I would say is certainly don't wait around trying to be somebody's perfect. Either you're right for them as you are, or you're not. Be yourself; if that's not good enough for them, then at least let it be good enough for you," she appealed earnestly. "I won't say don't push at all. Hell, I've known Connor for years, and there's certainly never been any woman, submissive or otherwise, in his life that he's been as taken with as you, so maybe he needs a bit of a gentle prod." She smiled genuinely before turning serious. "But I'll say this, and you need to remember it; if he gets uncomfortable with it or unnerved by what you're doing, then you must back off, straight away. Men like Connor, like all Doms, really, don't take well to being forced into a corner, so avoid it, or it'll backfire on you."
Laurel nodded somewhat absently, mulling over everything Trinity had said and thinking it all through. She picked up her handbag, and shaking her carefully highlighted hair out of her face, she stood.
"Thank you for listening to me and giving me the benefit of your own experience," she said earnestly as she got ready to leave. "I really appreciate it."
"There's one last piece of advice I'd like to give you from my experience," Trinity added as she, too, got up from her seat and moved around the front of the desk. "And you might not like it," she warned gently.
Laurel looked back at her sharply, her brow furrowed.
"The other reason he might be holding back is because it really isn't right for him. At least not right now, and maybe not at all. No matter what you feel, yourself, you can't change somebody else's feelings for you…well, you can make them hate you, but you can't make them love you."
Trinity sighed and opened the door in readiness for Laurel's departure. "What I'm saying, rather badly, I'm afraid, is that you need to face up to the fact that things might not go your way. Connor might not be taking that next step because he really doesn't want to. If you're going to push, you need to be prepared for that."
Laurel pondered over the things Trinity had told her and the advice she had given, turning it all over in her mind and wondering if her head was actually any clearer than it had been before. Well, that wasn't exactly true. Trinity had certainly not advocated waiting around and trying to squeeze herself into a 'Connor's perfect woman' mould. She'd been trying that anyway and it hadn't really been working so well. Or rather, Connor's perfect submissive, anyway. And Trinity had supported Laurel's own fledgling supposition about how Connor was more invested in Laurel than any other woman in his past as she knew it, and that tracked back a good five years. That surely had to mean something, didn't it?
Laurel certainly didn't want to end up like Trinity, waiting around so patiently and so long for a man to be ready to take thing to the next level that she ended up losing to someone else who was much more of a go-getter. That would really suck! Poor Trinity.
Well, whatever jerk did that to her certainly didn't deserve her, so she was better off without him anyway. But that would never happen between herself and Connor. She wasn't prepared to let things ride that long, for a start.
And as for Trinity's warning that she may not like the outcome… Well, that was the million-dollar question, wasn't it?
But just how likely was that scenario, anyway? Laurel was blithely confident that Connor just needed a little prod in the right direction in order to get him to man up and make a move on this thing between them. It would all be absolutely fine. Laurel was certain of it. But for the next few days, she was going to make sure he realised just how good things could be between them.
The following day, Laurel packed a deli bag lunch for Connor. It was the last day Desi was going to be in the office to go over everything with him, so Laurel knew he was going to be pressed for time and probably wouldn't have a chance to leave the building. Not wanting to appear too obvious, she did one for herself and Desi as well, although it was Connor's favourite foods that went into all three.
Early enough in the day, to avoid him ordering out, she breezed into Desi's office to let them both know.
"I've organised a working lunch for the three of us, so we can continue through uninterrupted." She smiled innocently, waving the three brown bags in front of them. "I'll go and pop these in the fridge in the break room, and if you let me know when you're ready, I'll organise everything when the time comes."
Connor frowned, not looking at all pleased, but Desi saved any awkwardness.
"That's so thoughtful of you, Laurel. Thank you. It's going to be a long day, checking through all of these ongoing files, and I still have to pack, so I don't want to be home too late." She groaned. "I'm just glad Connor will have your working knowledge to fall back on. There might be nothing major in the pipeline, but we still have a full plate."
Checking the slim gold Rolex that adorned her arm, Desi glanced cursorily at Connor then turned her attention back to Laurel.
"Why don't you come and join us for lunch in about ninety minutes, say, and then you'll have a heads-up on anything we don't manage to cover this afternoon."
"Sure," Laurel said dutifully, as if it was just another workday summons and not the invitation she had been angling after, all along. "If you let me know your drink orders, I'll bring those along with me, too."
"I'm pretty sure that's not in your job description, Laurel," Connor offered somewhat critically, his full lips flattened into a thin line of disapproval.
"Anything that makes my boss' job easier is all good as far as I'm concerned," she replied cheerfully, trying not to be stung by his lack of gratitude. She shoul
d be pleased, really. There were plenty of other directors who took it for granted that their PAs would be at their beck and call for anything and everything, even if it included buying their wives birthday gifts and other things that were totally inappropriate for a working relationship. Laurel was happy to help when Desi was slammed and didn't have time to do things for herself—not that her boss ever actually asked—but even she drew the line somewhere, and she would certainly draw the line at running errands and fetching coffee if her boss was free to do it for herself.
Laurel smiled serenely and did her best to glide casually out of the door as if her mind was on nothing more than work. She could hear Connor muttering behind her as she left, but his low tones were too muted for her to make out his words. Desi was a different matter, however, and Laurel couldn't help but smile as she heard her boss' clear pitched voice saying, "Laurel is an absolute Godsend, Connor, but please don't get the idea that I take advantage of her willingness. The truth is she's so tuned in to my workload that she knows exactly when I'll need extra input and she'll help ease everything without being asked. I don't know what I'd do without her! I certainly wouldn't be able to even contemplate taking so much time off if I didn't know she was here to pick up the slack; that's for sure."
After a working lunch, they kept at it throughout the afternoon, Laurel doing her best to show her knowledge and versatility within the wider reaches of her job so that Connor knew he'd be able to rely on her. Things were still running late, however, when Desi finally announced that she was trusting the information on the small stuff over to Laurel, so she could get home and do everything that needed to be done before she and Joel left to catch their flight in the early hours of the morning. Laurel tried not to be caught preening at the knowledge that Connor would be forced to work alongside her a little more than he was probably comfortable with, but in truth, she just wanted him to see, and accept, that she was competent and dependable and that he would be able to rely on her for much more than just her role as PA.