by Poppy Flynn
Now, if she could just get over the lingering sadness that Connor was no longer in her life, then everything would be perfect.
Of course, she wasn't the same person that she had been before. Not by a long way. Laughter came a little more slowly these days, and she was far less impulsive and spontaneous than she used to be. In fact, it was probably true to say she was neither of those things anymore. Nowadays, she gave careful consideration to all of her actions. Maybe she was just growing up.
Laurel traced her finger over his name on the screen. It had been a nice fantasy while it lasted. She wondered if she would miss him forever, or if time would dull the edges of the yearning she felt. People could fall out of love. It happened all the time. You only had to look at divorce statistics to know that was true. It gave Laurel a bittersweet kind of hope that one day, she would be able to put him behind her and move on with her life. Maybe find someone else, someone who would feel all of those fluttery, melty feelings for her.
It wasn't Connor's fault, after all. No matter how much you wished it, it was impossible to make somebody love you. For a while, Laurel had laboured, too long, under the false belief that she could do just that. It had nearly killed her to realise that was neither realistic nor possible. Literally.
She had come a long way since then. Yes, she really had grown up, hadn't she? But it still didn't blunt the wistful, twin blades of longing and regret that never seemed to leave her.
Blinking back the tell-tale prickling she felt behind her eyes and chiding herself for dwelling too much on unrealistic fantasies, Laurel stoically downloaded the message and closed the program before turning herself to a commotion in the outer reception office that used to be her own.
"Sir, you can't just barge in there unannounced!" Kiki Watts, the receptionist who had been employed to cover some of Laurel's lighter duties was squeaking, her voice getting closer as she obviously chased the unrepentant gate crasher along the corridor toward Laurel's office.
Laurel couldn't make out anything but the deep rumble of the voice that replied. She climbed to her feet, deciding to put Kiki out of her misery.
"I'll take it from here, Kiki," she managed to get out before her mind fully comprehended that it was none other than Connor strolling down the corridor. For a moment, she couldn't speak as her tongue cleaved to the roof of her mouth at the delicious sight of him. Then she managed to shake herself and find a modicum of professionalism.
She turned to the young woman who was still chasing after him uncertainly. "I don't think you've met Connor Griffin, Blackwood Universal's South Coast CFO," Laurel introduced hastily, covering her own response to the man.
"Mr Griffin? Oh, I do apologise. I didn't realise!" Kiki simpered, looking at him with a clear dose of awed female appreciation, which Laurel could understand even as she resented it.
Laurel cleared her throat in a polite reminder of her presence as Connor looked down on the young woman with an amused and indulgent smile that had the girl blushing.
"Connor, I wasn't expecting you," Laurel interceded, drawing his eyes her way.
When he looked at her, Connor's smile grew wide and genuine in a way that Laurel felt all the way down to her toes, and she had to briskly remind herself not to read too much into it.
Instead, she turned her back to him, took a deep breath and swallowed, gesturing him into her office and hoping that he couldn't read her own recent thoughts about him in the way she responded to him. She didn't want that hint of awkwardness in the future of their working relationship. As much as she might yearn for something more, Laurel truly wanted to be Connor's friend, since that's all that was left to them.
"Did I miss something?" Laurel asked with a frown. "I didn't see any messages saying you were on your way here. Have we got a new contract pending?"
"It was an impromptu visit," Connor conceded, coming up behind her so that she could feel the warmth of his big body all the way along her back.
Laurel closed her eyes and prayed for strength, swallowing again, convulsively this time, when he placed both his hands on her shoulders. Dear God, why did he have to torture her this way? Pasting a bright smile on her face, Laurel turned to face him, only to have it crumple at the intensity in his own expression.
"Laurel…" he breathed.
She scrunched her eyes up tight, not wanting him to see the naked desire that she knew would be obvious in them.
"Don't…" she whispered back, not daring to look at him, because she knew if she did, she'd be lost, the fragile professional distance she had struggled to put between them would be shattered and nothing between them would ever be the same again.
"I can't help it, Laurel," Connor argued in a low, almost pleading voice that had her opening her eyes in surprise. "I can't go on like this any longer."
She opened her mouth to say…something, anything, knowing that genuine confusion tinged with that stupid, relentless hope was there for anyone to witness in her face. But all the words were lost as she observed a similar hope in his own expression and proceeded to mentally pinch herself to make sure she wasn't deluding herself.
And then, words were no longer necessary as Connor dipped his head to hers and seized the opportunity, plunging his tongue into the depths of her mouth and wrenching an impassioned moan from her throat, which he captured with his lips.
Laurel melted in his arms as they came around her and pulled her in tight. She could feel the hard swell of his erection against her belly and wildly wondered if this was just a booty call. Did she want that with him? Would she be able to withstand the highs and lows of the passion and then the disappointment when he left her all over again? And was that all just conjecture anyway, because…
Her thoughts jumbled inside her head, eroded by her own desire and pleasure, as he devoured her mouth and undid her with the strong fingers which sought out all of her sensitive places. In a more lucid moment, she wondered if she was even capable of denying him…or herself.
When he finally lifted his head, she was dazed and dishevelled. Her hair was half unpinned from its neat bun, her jacket was pushed hastily off of one shoulder and the buttons on her blouse were mostly undone. God, what was she thinking, anyone could walk in! The question was did she care?
"Connor…" she rasped out as he grazed his lips down one side of her neck. "Stop, we can't do this…"
She might have qualified that sentence with 'here', but Connor cut her off with a groan and banded his arms so tight around her midriff that she could barely breath, let alone talk.
"Don't say that," Connor pleaded, his head buried in the crook of her neck. "I want you so much, Laurel. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."
Since that was obvious from her panting breaths, the way her nipples peaked and her pupils had dilated, there was little point in denying that she felt the same way.
"You know I want you Connor, but—"
"No buts, Laurel. I need you!"
Laurel's heart shuddered. She wanted him so much, she didn't think she could deny him, but she wasn't sure she could survive some shallow relationship with him without slipping back into her baser desires to wring more from him. That, surely, wasn't fair to either of them.
Tears burned the back of her eyes at the sheer force of will it was taking her to be strong in the face of everything she ever wanted. Well, admittedly, not quite everything, but a damn big chunk of it and one which, right now, was looking a whole lot more appealing than nothing at all.
"Damn it, Connor, why do you have to make this so hard?" The question came out on a sob that she could no longer contain.
"Because I love you, Laurel," he groaned. "And I don't want to live without you anymore."
Laurel stilled, and her mind went blank. Did he actually say that, or had her own wishful thinking conjured up the words she longed to hear?
"Of course, I said it. And I mean it, Laurel; they're not just empty words. I've never uttered them to another woman my entire adult life," Connor beseeched, making her r
ealise that she'd said the words out loud.
"Oh, God, why are you crying, baby?" Connor rasped, the words strangled as he cradled her head and wiped away the tears with his thumbs.
She was crying?
Laurel absently lifted a hand to her cheek and was surprised to find the wetness under her fingers. Everything seemed entirely surreal. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe her mind wasn't quite as strong as she had believed.
"Believe it, baby," Connor whispered. "I'm here, and this is real, and I want to spend the rest of my life making all of your dreams come true. All I need to know is that you want that, too."
Laurel looked up into beseeching grey-green eyes that glittered with intensity, all of which was centred on her, and in that moment, her mind cleared, and her senses came back to her and sheer joy erupted in her soul.
Standing on her tiptoes and clasping his face in her hands, Laurel pulled Connor down until she could press her lips to his. With a bare whisper of space between their mouths, she stared into his eyes, and this time, she knew with certainty that she said the words out loud, the most important words of her life, when she told him, "Yes, it's what I want. I love you, too."
Then, finally, she allowed herself to sink into him once and for all and eagerly gave herself over to the fireworks and the cartwheels that were exploding inside her.
The future was suddenly bright, and all of their dark consequences had been dispelled.
The End
Poppy Flynn
Poppy Flynn was born in Buckinghamshire, UK and moved to Wales at eight years old with parents who wanted to live the 'self-sufficiency' lifestyle.
Today she still lives in rural Wales and is married with six children.
Poppy's love of reading and writing stemmed from her parents’ encouragement and the fact that they didn't have a television in the house.
"When you're surrounded by fields, cows and sheep, no neighbours, no TV and the closest tiny village is four miles away, there's a certain limit to your options, but with books your adventures and your horizons are endless."
Poppy x
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