by Roya Carmen
"I had fun," he called out. "I hope you did too."
She nodded quickly and retreated into the haven of her mother's loft. And as soon as she shut the door, she collapsed to her knees and let her tears fall quietly, careful not to wake her mother.
She should have known. She knew all along what an arrogant asshole he was, a narcissist who gets off on women admiring him, wanting him, always in search of someone new to stroke his ego. She cursed herself for falling, even when she had all the facts at her disposal. She had known who he was. And yet... she couldn't help herself. He had a pull on her, he excited her, made her want to become someone she wasn't.
She told herself she should have never gotten involved in the first place. Now, she regretted that moment, the moment she let him in. She had shown him all her vulnerabilities, and all he had done was shoot her down, without a moment's hesitation. And God... she couldn't get away from him. The man lived next door. There would be no clean break here like there had been with Logan.
What a horrible nightmare.
7
See? You win either way
Ethan kicked off his shoes and slouched on his sofa. He rubbed his face raw, trying to shake the image of her out of his mind. He had done it. He had promised himself he wouldn't sleep with her again, and he hadn't. It was time to end this little game. At first he thought it would be fun. But he could clearly see that she was developing feelings for him, getting attached.
And he certainly wasn't helping the situation, kissing her left and right. It was one thing when they were just fucking on the back of his sofa. He had done that kind of thing so many times with women, but never with a woman like Kirsten. And he had kissed his share of women too. After all, kissing was usually the gateway to sex.
But he had never felt the way he felt when he kissed Kirsten. With her, it wasn't a means to an end. It was something he wanted to do forever. He shook his head, trying to clear the vision of them on the moon bridge, under the weeping cedars and on the dance floor at the club. How he had wanted to take her home, but he couldn't go there.
Sure, they had had sex already, but it had been just that. Sex. And he knew he no longer wanted just sex with Kirsten. If he had let her into his loft, he would have wanted to get her completely naked, and lay her on his bed, kiss and taste her everywhere, reveling in every inch of her body. And that sounded an awful lot like making love, and they couldn't go there, because if they did, they would both probably never recover.
He had to make an action plan. He would end the lessons and tell her he thought she was doing great and would do more than fine when she was ready to enter the world of dating again. The thought of her dating other men drove him kind of crazy, but he was sure he would get over it shortly. As soon as he put some distance between the two of them, it would be easier to do so. He would try to avoid her at all costs, but he knew he would probably run into her once in a while at the elevators or walking to his door. That was unavoidable. Of course, he would make small talk, but he would be careful to keep it curt and not overly friendly.
It would all work itself out, his logical side told him, but his heart seemed to have second thoughts. He had never ever felt so empty. The last time he had been so upset was when his mother had left his family to run off with that idiot of an artist.
Kirsten woke up and unfortunately, her thoughts traveled straight to the previous night's events. How she hated him. He was dead to her as far as she knew. The lessons were over. The friendship was over. Of course, she would probably have to see the arrogant prick on a weekly basis, but vowed to ignore him. And if they happened to be standing by the elevators together, as they occasionally did, she would watch him step in, and she would wait for the next one. He was dead to her. Dead.
She dragged herself to the kitchen to make herself peanut butter and jelly toast, although she had no appetite. Lorraine was sitting at the kitchen table, working on another crossword puzzle. She shot her head up at the sight of her daughter. "How did it go last night?" she asked, eager. "Your date with Ethan?"
"Ugh," Kirsten grunted loudly. "It went awful. I hate him. And that's all I'm going to say about it."
Lorraine sat up straight. "What happened?" Apparently she hadn't quite heard her daughter when she said she didn't want to talk about it. Mothers do have selective hearing. Kirsten shrugged, not having the strength to deal with her mother. She knew Lorraine would never let it go. And part of her really wanted to share the way she was feeling, let it all out. She helped herself to coffee, abandoning her toast, and sat across Lorraine. "Well," she started, shoulders hunched. "We went for a wonderful walk at Kubota Gardens and we kissed and it was all very romantic... like a scene from one of your books.
Lorraine cocked a brow. "Sounds good so far."
"Then we got caught in the rain, and came home to change. We had dinner at this amazing restaurant, and we had a little fight but it was nothing."
Lorraine abandoned her crossword, her attention now fully devoted to her daughter.
"Then we went to a cool club and some gorgeous Argentinian hit on me. But Ethan put the kibosh on that pretty fast. He was so possessive."
"It's because he likes you," Lorraine chimed in. "It's obvious."
"I'm not so sure about that, Mom. Because when we got home, he didn't invite me in. He basically told me he had already had his glass of milk, and he had no more use for the cow."
Lorraine's mouth dropped open. "He did not," she exclaimed. "I don't believe it."
"That's basically what he said. He said I was too easy."
"You... easy?" she broke in. "That's ridiculous. What an arrogant asshole."
"Exactly," Kirsten agreed. Now they were on the same page.
"I'm so sorry I set the two of you up together. I really thought he was a good kid."
She smiled at her mother. "It's not your fault, Mom. He's very charming and he can fool the best of them."
Lorraine blew out a breath. "And here I was planning a double-date. With you and Ethan, and Max and I."
Kirsten smirked. "So, you’re still seeing that boy-toy. Good for you, Mom."
"I know you don't quite approve, Kirsten."
"I do," she argued. "I do now. One of us might as well be having fun," she pointed out. "But I would forget all about the double-date."
"That's too bad. I thought it'd be fun," her mother told her. "We're going to a gastro-brewery nearby. It was Max's idea."
Kirsten smiled. "Yep, I got that." Somehow, she couldn't really picture her mother at a brewery-type eatery. Her mom was all about posh five-star restaurants with sleek white leather chairs and crystal chandeliers. "You have fun."
Lorraine pressed her manicured nail against her mouth. "But... perhaps, I could... Max has a friend who's single, and pardon my words... he's sex on legs."
Kirsten laughed out loud. "Sex on legs?" She almost choked on her coffee. "Really, Mom?"
"I'm telling you, Kirsten. I've only met him once. He's a sculptor and... absolutely delicious."
Kirsten could only stare at her mother, speechless.
"You see, Kirsten," Lorraine started, squaring her shoulders, and Kirsten knew Lorraine was gearing up for another one of her little eccentric talks. She smiled at the thought. She was always so entertained by these little tidbits of wisdom her mother so kindly offered.
"There are three types of men," Lorraine went on. "There's the one you want to take to your parents. And then, there’s the one you want to drag to a dark corner and do sinful things with. And of course, there are the ones who fall somewhere in the middle.”
Kirsten stared at her mother, mouth agape. She was familiar with Lorraine's language and candor, but somehow she could never seem to get used to it.
Lorraine went on with a playful smile. "Now, Logan fell in the former category, and Ethan... Well, he was kind of in the middle. But this guy, Kirsten... I'm telling you... is definitely in the latter category. A ‘dark corner’ kind of guy."
"Well, hell, Mother," K
irsten finally managed to say. "Now you've got me absolutely dying of curiosity."
"We could all go together," Lorraine suggested, "and have a hell of a time."
Kirsten smiled. "No... absolutely not." She had had just about enough for a while.
"It could take your mind off things," Lorraine quickly countered with a mischievous smile.
The woman did have a point. Thinking about Ethan was driving her insane, and she just knew she wouldn't be able to get him off her mind for a long, long while. Especially when the jerk lived right next door. A distraction might just be what the doctor ordered. And if this guy was as gorgeous as her mother described, perhaps he could really get her mind off Ethan. He would probably end up being another jerk, but she was willing to do anything to make the pain she was feeling go away.
"Maybe..." she hesitated to say, wondering what she was getting herself into. Her mother's ideas weren't always the best.
"Fantastic," Lorraine cheered. "I'll make it happen. We'll have so much fun. Ethan who, right?"
Kirsten stood by the elevators, chewing on a nail. It had been a long day at work and she couldn't wait to get home, make some homemade pizza, and binge watch Gilmore Girls with her mother. She was almost in a good mood until...
He came walking in, larger than life, as he usually did. But this time, his usual smirk was absent. In its place, stretched a very tight smile. "Hi, dragonfly."
She couldn't believe he still called her that. It was for the best because every time the man uttered her name, she went a little weak at the knees. She sneered in his direction and didn't say a peep. He was not worth a single syllable.
“Listen, Kirsten," he said, all business, as they stepped into the elevator. She would have waited for the next one but she couldn't wait to get home, and her feet were killing her.
He pressed the button. "I've been thinking... it's probably best if we call off the lessons," he started, not quite making eye contact. "I think you're amazing and you'll be great whenever you decide to go on a date."
"Sounds good to me," she said without emotion.
"You find yourself a good decent man and you'll forget all about Logan."
These words were the straw that broke the camel's back. She couldn't stand his condescending overly polite tone. He was completely dismissing what they had shared with his fabricated civility. He was also implying that they were done and she would be best to find herself a man more in her league. What an arrogant prick. All of a sudden, she wanted to piss him off, make him jealous, and show him she wasn't the good girl he thought she was.
She laughed loudly as they exited the elevator. "That's not likely to happen," she told him with a flirty flip of her head. "Cole is many things, but good and decent is not one of them."
He jerked his head towards her, wide-eyed. "Who's Cole?"
"Oh," she said, pulling the clip out of her hair and letting her luscious mane fall over her shoulders. "He's a guy I'm dating." Okay, so technically, she hadn't even met him yet, but they were going on a date in three days.
Kirsten smiled inwardly at Ethan's sudden concern.
"I didn't know you were dating anyone," he said. "How long have you been seeing this guy?"
She averted her gaze towards her door, avoiding his question. "I've gotta go. I'm making dinner."
"So what's this Cole like?"
She smiled, realizing she had his full attention. She couldn't believe she was playing these games. She really wasn't the type. But he had a way of turning her into a shallow, raving lunatic. "Cole is amazing. He’s a sculptor, extremely passionate, and gorgeous as sin."
His face fell. She waited for him to utter a sardonic response but he was speechless. She waved good-bye as she turned the handle. As soon as she closed the door, a huge smile stretched across her face. Suddenly, the day had taken a better turn.
A sculptor, Ethan mused. Why in the hell did it have to be a sculptor? She might as well have punched him in the gut when she told him she was seeing a gorgeous, passionate brooding artist. He hated the type. It was exactly the type who had stolen his mother from his father when Ethan was ten years old. And this had affected him deeply, every career move, every relationship, every friendship. He no longer trusted people. If his own mother could betray him, how could he trust anyone?
And he hadn't. Not until he had met Kirsten. She was different. She seemed sweet, genuine, the type who would never lie or play games, who simply didn't have the ability. But had he been wrong? Because all of a sudden, it seemed she was doing just that, playing games and taunting him.
It had been three hours since he'd spoken to Kirsten and he just couldn't shake the vision of her with this other man, this 'Cole'. He imagined him tall, dark and handsome, with long hair down to his tattoo covered shoulders. He couldn't take it. He had to see this man for himself. He didn't know why he cared so much, why she was turning him into a pathetic crazy stalker. He had told himself he would stay away from her, but now all he could think about was her and this new man. It was driving him absolutely crazy. All he knew was that he was now on a mission.
It hadn't exactly required exemplary investigative skills to find out where they would be. It had simply been a matter of chatting up Lorraine in the elevator. The woman loved to talk. She told him they were all going to Brass Tacks on Friday night to have dinner. It would be easy enough to go check out this guy. Ethan had been there many times with colleagues and friends. He knew the place like the back of his hand. He would drag along a colleague for a late dinner, and 'accidentally' run into them.
Kirsten couldn't believe how nervous she was. But she told herself that she had reason to be. She had never been on a blind date before, and especially not one with a sinfully gorgeous man. She searched through her closet for something 'sexy but not too desperate'. She finally settled on a slick little blue dress, a cheap impulse purchase at Forever 21.
She decided to wear her hair down and as she brushed her locks, she realized this would be the perfect opportunity to practice the skills she had learned during her lessons with Ethan. The man had not been a complete waste. He had given her quite a few tips. She decided to take the jerk's advice and just have fun with it, and not think too much.
Oh God...
For once, her mother hadn't been making up stories. The man was beautiful. He looked like Robert Pattinson's better looking brother. There was an intensity about him that left her breathless as he shook her hand. He wore a tattered t-shirt and worn jeans, a silver chain dangling from the pocket. Very ‘homeless-chic'. Seriously, Kirsten thought, who needs designer clothing when you're this gorgeous. His hair was disheveled and his face scruffy, as if he had just literally gotten out of bed. As she shot him a smile, Kirsten wondered if in fact, he had just gotten out of bed. "It's nice to meet you, Cole."
His playful expression told her he liked what he saw. "Likewise," he offered. He had intelligent eyes and a deep voice. And despite the fact that he had only uttered a few words, she had the feeling he was smart, the type who knew all the great artists, and who could quote Ernest Hemingway.
Mmmmm.
"Well, let's go in, shall we?” Lorraine suggested as she held on to her very tall and handsome date's arm. Max seemed completely enamored with her, and Kirsten knew this was the real thing between them. She also knew it would probably not last very long, given the age difference and her mother's track record. But she was happy for her mother. Cole led her in with a hand pressed lightly at the small of her back.
The place was awesome. Industrial chic. All sleek woods and steel. A colorful bar, funky vintage bar stools and light fixtures added to the whole appeal. As soon as the perky hostess led them to their table, a worn slab of wood hanging over a wooden bench and two steel chairs, Kirsten knew the atmosphere here was casual. And she liked that. She didn't need the extra stress of sitting in a stuffy restaurant. A blind date was unnerving enough.
She and her mother took a seat on the comfy bench and as she sat down, Kirsten couldn't help b
ut ogle Cole as he peeled off his distressed leather jacket. He had beautiful Celtic tattoos all over his arms. She had never been a fan of tattoos, but she liked his. She smiled at him, happy with the fact that she was quite familiar with Gaelic culture, having studied it in college. "Are you of Irish descent?" she asked. "Or Scottish?"
He smiled wide. "Both actually. Obvious, isn't it?"
"A little," she said. "Do you speak Gaelic?"
He laughed. "I like to think I do," he told her, "but I really don't."
She smiled. "I like to think I speak French," she replied, "but I really don't."
As they both laughed, she spotted her mother flashing her a wink. Damn, this was going well. She already liked this guy and she barely knew him.
Kirsten shook her head as she perused the menu. Such eccentric choices. She opted for a poutine. She was feeling quite indulgent. And she would even have a drink too, she decided. Tonight was a night to let loose and forget all about Ethan Fox.
But then, she almost had a coronary as she lifted her head from her menu. She was sure her mind was playing tricks on her. There, by the entrance, stood the enigmatic Ethan Fox, dressed in a sharp suit, flanked by two equally formally dressed men. They stood out like clowns at a funeral. What the hell was he doing here? When Lorraine spotted her expression, she turned her head toward the door. She jerked back. "I can't believe it."
Kirsten couldn't believe it either. She was speechless. In a city this large, offering so many restaurants, what were the odds of them being at the same place tonight? Slim to none, she deduced. The man was stalking her. As he took in the space, seemingly searching, and finally resting his gaze on her with a serious expression, it was confirmed. The man had followed her here. But how did he know?