by Roya Carmen
She was absolutely right. He wasn't. He wanted to stay.
But he had to do this. There was no way around it. "Drop twenty grand from the price," he conceded. "That's as low as I'm going to go."
She sneered. "Well, that's not going to help much," she told him. "But perhaps if we got rid of these weird vintage pieces you've got everywhere and uncluttered the space, it might show better."
He sighed. Just great. Now to add insult to injury, he also had to put his cherished 'junk' in storage. He was really starting to despise Deanna Bowman.
Kirsten raced in her heels to the little Thai place, clutching a crumbled piece of paper with directions. She hated running late. It implied actual 'running' which she didn't enjoy much, especially in four-inch heeled wedges. She had dressed up a little today because Meghan was always so fashionable and she didn't want to pale in comparison.
She had thought a lot about the lunch with Ethan's sister. It had been planned for a while, postponed and rescheduled. Meghan had a lot on her plate. Kirsten wondered if it was a bad idea. Was she just trying to cling to Ethan by keeping a connection to him through his sister? But Meghan was so nice, and they had gotten along famously. And Kirsten needed a friend.
Kirsten could feel the blush on her face as she took a seat at the small table. The running had increased her heart rate, or perhaps it was just the excitement of seeing Meghan.
"You have to try the mango bubble tea," Meghan cheered. "It's so good."
"Bubble tea," Kirsten said. "I've never had it."
"Really?" Meghan peeked from her menu. "You'll love it."
Kirsten smiled. She loved Meghan's energy. She was very much like her brother. Ethan was like this too, always so 'on', so cheerful. Perhaps that's what she resented about him at first. Introverts like her are sometimes a little threatened by larger-than-life personalities. She and Ethan were so different, she mused. It would have never worked, she told herself as she perused the menu. She decided on a satay chicken appetizer and a green curry shrimp entrée. "You and your brother are very similar," she pointed out. "You look alike. You act similar."
Meghan smiled. "But I have better legs."
Kirsten laughed. "For sure. His are all hairy."
They were both laughing as the server brought their bubble tea. Kirsten was intrigued by the tall milkshakes and the dark pearls resting at the bottoms of the glasses. She ventured a sip through the thick straw. She delighted in the sweet taste and slimy texture as a pearl slid under her palette and down her throat.
"Wow, this is amazing," she cheered. "Why haven't I tried this before?"
"Well, now you have, you crazy girl."
Yes, she had been a little crazy lately, more so than Meghan could ever imagine.
Meghan's face suddenly got uncharacteristically grim. "But speaking of Ethan, he and I... we're not so much alike. He's much more serious than I am. Much more intense."
Kirsten was curious. "How so?"
"Well, he just doesn't take life as lightly as I do. He didn't take it well at all when our mother left us. He hated her."
Kirsten was at a loss for words. "Oh..."
"He told me once that he would never get married," Meghan carried on, "that he would never let a woman hurt him the way our mother hurt our father."
"I guess that's why he's such a player," Kirsten chimed in. "Keeping it casual."
"But he's not really," Meghan argued. "He's always been such a nerd, you know. He used to get teased so much at school. Never had a girlfriend."
"Really?" Kirsten was shocked by Meghan's revelation. For some reason, she couldn't picture a nerdy Ethan Fox. "I can't see it."
"He had these nervous tics when he was younger," she explained. "They were involuntary, throws of the head, grimacing, that sort of thing. He tried medication but it was of no use."
Kirsten abandoned her bubble tea, fully engrossed in Meghan's words. "Now that you mention it... I've noticed him do that little thing with his head here and there."
Meghan smiled. "Yes... most of his tics have faded, but he still occasionally does the head thing," she explained, "but only when he's nervous. You must make him nervous," she added with a playful grin.
Kirsten smiled. The thought of her making the enigmatic Ethan Fox nervous was almost comical.
"He was very lucky to be so intelligent. My father pushed him so hard, seeing his potential. That's all Ethan did. He studied and worked hard, and built his empire," Meghan went on as the waitress served their appetizers, calamari for Meghan. "He never dated. He had no life outside his work."
Kirsten was fascinated. The image she had constructed of this man had been so flawed. They were more alike than she had ever thought. "But he's so slick... such a charmer."
"Well, he's always been a charmer, but people couldn't get past the tics and the nerdy glasses to see the real him."
"Glasses?"
"Yep... he got Lasik surgery and started working out, transformed himself,” she carried on between bites of her calamari. Kirsten had barely touched her satay skewers, so engrossed in the conversation. "And all of a sudden, his company went public, and he was rich, gorgeous and Seattle's most eligible bachelor."
"Yep... that's the guy I know."
"Let's just say he's been making up for lost time, these past few years."
Kirsten slouched in her chair, thinking of all the faceless women he'd probably had.
"But I don't think he really ever liked any of them," Meghan mused. "I think he sees them all as superficial gold-diggers, the type of women who wouldn't have given him the time of day years ago. I think he just uses them to stroke his ego, and probably for the sex too."
Kirsten shrugged "Well, he is a man, after all."
Meghan smiled. "Men... can't live with them, can't live without them."
Kirsten laughed and held up her colorful glass of bubble tea. "Isn't that the truth?"
As she walked back home, Kirsten thought of Ethan. She realized they were more alike than she'd ever thought. Perhaps that was the reason he had wanted to help her. He probably saw a little of himself in her. She understood now that there were deep-rooted reasons why he would never want to get married. He was destined to be an eternal bachelor. She felt sorry for him. He would never experience the true love of a devoted wife, and children who light up at the sight of his face. All because of one selfish woman's acts. Sure, he was beautiful, rich and successful with the world at his feet, but his life had already been ruined in so many ways.
She wanted to reach out and help him, but she knew it wasn't her place to do so. Their story was over and now he was simply someone she had known, even possibly loved for a short time. Her eyes filled with tears at the sadness of it all. All the closeness they had shared, the words, the smiles, the intimate touches. It was now all a thing of the past.
Ethan had thrown himself into his work, not wanting to do anything else. He still hadn't sold his place and debated whether to drop the price again. The place was now impeccable; paint touch-ups, clutter-free, fresh flowers delivered every week. Part of him was looking forward to moving and starting a new chapter, and forgetting all about Kirsten. He hadn't been able to do so, quite yet, but he was sure he'd succeed, in time.
As he scanned his extensive list of emails, he was struck by a particular one, a fundraiser he'd attended for the past few years for the library. His company had been a supporter of the local libraries for years as he believed in its essential services for children who are book and computer-inclined, as he had been as a child. In addition to donations, his company had also been instrumental in the founding of a program which offered free computer science classes, and fostered knowledge in technology for future generations. Yes, this was a dear cause to him, and he would be going again. He realized he'd have to secure himself a date, which wouldn't be a problem. Although, he knew Natasha was now out of the question.
And then in the quickest of flashes, it dawned on him. The library fundraiser. He had never made the connection
before. This annual fundraiser... and Kirsten's fundraiser. They were one and the same. He must have brushed past her more than once, he mused. He knew she had also attended these past few years. How in the hell had he never noticed her? He'd have to see her again. He didn't want to miss it, and it would be ridiculous to do so just because of his personal entanglements.
They would both just have to deal with it, and try to act like adults.
Ethan had had a rough day at work, and had a splitting headache. He was contemplating whether he had any Ibuprofen left in his medicine cabinet when Lorraine Beals walked up next to him as he stood by the elevators.
"Hello," she said, the word sharp, which was unusual for Lorraine who was always so friendly and charming.
He shot her a tentative smile, not quite knowing where he stood with her. He got the sense it wasn't anywhere good. "Hi, Lorraine. How are you?"
"Well," she replied curtly. "I hear you're moving."
"Yep," he told her. "As soon as I find a buyer."
"I hear you're asking too much," she remarked as they entered the elevator.
"I just don't want to be ripped off, that's all."
"Well, it's for the best," Lorraine added as she pressed the button to their floor. "Kirsten will be much better off with you gone."
His breath hitched at the sound of Kirsten's name. "Uh... what do you mean?"
She didn't utter another word as she stared daggers at him. The silence in the elevator was disquieting. He wanted to crawl out of his skin. When he heard the ding, he let out a breath of relief.
"You've hurt her very much, you know," she told him as they stepped off the elevator, "using her the way you did."
What was this woman talking about, he couldn't help but wonder. "What are you—"
She stopped dead in her tracks and jerked her head toward him. "You might have just been having a little fun. But for Kirsten, it meant much more. She's not the kind of woman who has casual flings. If she was with you, it's because she was crazy about you."
Ethan was speechless. They both stood in the middle of the hall, staring at each other. She was right. He had been kind of a jerk. But so had Kirsten.
Lorraine carried on with a flip of her bouncy curls. "She's trying to move on with Cole, but I know he doesn't rock her boat like you do. And Lord knows why," she added with a scowl. "He's better looking than you, nicer than you, and he rides a motorcycle for heaven's sake."
Her words got to him. He hated the thought of Kirsten moving on with Cole. "How do you know he doesn't rock her boat?" he asked, knowing very well Lorraine Beals was an over-sharer.
She tilted her head and hesitated, but only for a second. "She hasn't slept with him yet, hasn't really done much except for one kiss," she went on. "She told me all about it yesterday over tea." She fixed the floor when she added, "Kirsten's only been with two men... including you, so yes, Ethan, I imagine you meant the world to her.” He could see the emotion in her eyes when she added, "And you... you just disposed of her and shattered her heart to bits."
She walked away but he quickly caught up with her, grabbing her by the wrist. "You're wrong," was all he said. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to express everything he had to say, that Kirsten meant the world to him too, that she was the most amazing woman he'd ever met, and the only one he'd ever loved. Loved... yes, he loved her. He loved Kirsten Beals. He realized all this, a revelation which had been buried inside him. Until this moment.
Lorraine's voice softened. "This move is a good thing," she said with kinder eyes. "I could see how hurt she was when I told her you were moving. She didn't think I could tell, but I know her too well. But you're doing her the biggest favor in the world, Ethan," she told him as she turned her door handle. "Maybe now, she can finally get over you," she added before disappearing.
What was he doing? What was he waiting for? He needed to tell Kirsten how he felt. Even if she didn't feel the same way, there was nothing to lose. He paced the floors of his loft as he tried to devise a strategy. There was the fundraiser coming up... He had to take action soon because she was the one for him. He had finally found her, the woman who was worthy of his love, the one who wouldn't hurt him the way his mother had. He was tired of the bachelor life. He hadn't enjoyed it much for over a year now. In fact, he had never truly enjoyed it. He realized that deep inside, he had always hoped to find someone special amongst all the beautiful shallow women. And now, it had finally happened, just not in the way he had imagined it. It had caught him by surprise. Kirsten wasn't anything like the woman he had imagined.
She was even better.
Kirsten clipped on a bejeweled brooch, the final touch to her hair. She wore it in an elegant up-do with curly tendrils framing her face. The look was both elegant and sweet, which was how Kirsten saw herself. The dress she had chosen for the occasion was a classic black gown with a sexy open back. It swished and skirted the floor as she walked in her tall elegant heels. She felt like a modern-day princess.
She wondered what Cole would wear. She prayed to the gods that he didn't show up in black jeans and a white t-shirt. He didn't seem like the dressing-up type. She thought about Logan, for the first time in a long time. He would most undoubtedly show up looking dashing, like he had the past few years. But this time, he would have someone different on his arm, the very beautiful, very flexible Lisa. And then she thought about Ethan. She wasn't sure why. He wouldn't be there. But just the occasional thought of him in one of his slick designer suits got her blood flowing.
She shook her head. Ugh. When would she get the man out of her head? Ever?
She kissed her mother good-bye.
"You look amazing," Lorraine offered. "I've created such a beautiful human being."
Kirsten smiled. Yes, it was always about Lorraine. "Bye Mom... I love you."
Lorraine shot her a wink as Kirsten reached the door. "Be good now."
"Oh... I will," she told her mother, wondering if she really would. Perhaps it was time to move on. Maybe tonight would be the night she would finally give Cole what he clearly wanted.
As she spotted him on his bike in the distance, she hurried, her heels not quite keeping up with her. He was gorgeous in a beautiful tux, clutching two helmets. Yes, she thought. He seems like the type who could show a girl a good time in bed. I could do a lot worse.
As they flew through the busy streets of Seattle, her arms wrapped around Cole, Kirsten felt young and invincible. She was living life, just as she had vowed to do. She was being wild and crazy. Cole had brought her out of her shell. With him, she could be uninhibited because she didn't care. But with Ethan, there had always been a certain energy between them, something that scared her, that made her feel vulnerable, that kept her cautious. This was what she loved about Cole. It was so easy.
Kirsten was a little disheveled when she got off the back. She hadn't really thought this through, a ride on a bike in an evening gown is not exactly well-advised. She knew she would need to touch-up her hair.
Cole winked at her as she took off her helmet. "You look well-ridden," he teased.
She couldn't help but smile. He was such a tease. "Oh... I think I was," she told him. "But perhaps a little more riding later," she added with a playful smile.
Yes... this evening was definitely starting on the right note.
When Kirsten entered the banquet space, she was awestruck. It was all so beautiful. The theme was 'starry night’, very refined and tasteful, the opposite of most high school proms. Twinkle lights and tulle accents caught the eye but didn't quite jump out at you like a jack-in-the-box. The impeccable tables were dressed in crisp white linens and accented with gorgeous candle centerpieces. They were scattered across the room like clouds in a dark sky. It was all so magical.
Kirsten held on to Cole's hand as she entered the space and offered a few smiles to people she recognized, mostly volunteers, the very young and the retired, it seemed. Many people devoted their time to the cause every year. Kirsten felt a little guilty because
she was being paid for her work. Although, tonight, she was off the clock and wasn't being paid, yet she knew she'd still have a lot to look after. She made a mental note to speak to Kendra, the decorator, and praise her for a job well-done.
"Pretty swanky," Cole observed. "This is fantastic."
Kirsten smiled. "I'm so happy. This is the most beautiful I've ever seen it."
She was happy but also nervous, as she always was at this yearly event. After all, it was an accumulation of weeks of work. Everything absolutely had to go smoothly. "As you can see, we're a bit early. I had to come in early to check in on everything."
"No problem," Cole told her. "I'll just hang out while you do what you do."
She stretched her body and kissed him on the cheek. "You are wonderful."
She scurried across the space, the flowy skirt of her evening dress swishing. She checked on the silent auction, the seating chart, the food preparations, and even talked to the band who were busy setting up. Four handsome young men who called themselves 'Kingston Road’. They had all grown up on the same street. They were dressed in suits for the occasion but she knew them as grungy guys who did folk-pop covers of popular songs. The lead singer had an angelic voice and his name just happened to be Ethan too.
Ethan. She hadn't quite been able to not think about him, even on such a busy day. This drove her crazy. The man was gone from her life. Why couldn't she just accept it and move on? Her brain told her to do so, but her heart was being quite pig-headed.
She practically danced around the room, adding final touches, making sure everything was perfect. With the use of a very handy trolley, she made a trip to the storage room and stowed away a few unsightly extras such as crates, boxes, and extra lights, mostly stuff they would only need when the night was over. As she found herself alone in the small dark room, she leaned against an industrial shelving unit, closed her eyes and let out a long breath. She took a moment to regain her composure before the big event, before the guests arrived, before she would have to face Logan for the first time since the break-up.