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TO THE CHILDREN OF 9/11
CHAPTER 1
My grandmother told me she once watched an abandoned house fold inside itself. The roof had caved in, leaving a hollow shell.
“A house needs people, Rylee,” she claimed, “or it will die.”
Every time I passed Miss Myrtie Mae’s home, I watched for signs of the roof giving way or the walls collapsing. But even though ivory paint flakes covered the ground like snow and the roof had shed a few shingles, the old house looked as if it were holding its breath, waiting for someone to claim it.
When Miss Myrtie Mae was alive, her home used to be the grandest in town. Antler held their annual Easter egg hunt on her lawn. Every girl, including me, would wear her Sunday dress and white Mary Janes. The year Twig moved here was the last celebration. I’d always dreamed of finding the golden egg, but never did. Twig discovered it. Someone had hidden it in a hollow trunk at the property line.
After she died, Miss Myrtie Mae’s house got the most attention on Halloween. Trick-or-treaters rushed past the place, believing it was haunted. And around midnight the Jerks—Vernon Clifton and his buddy Boone from my junior high—threw rocks at the windows. Dad said he once dreamed he saw Miss Myrtie Mae emerge from behind the lopsided screen door that hung from a single hinge. She was carrying a silver tray with her famous lime gelatin and turkey salad.
Four years after Miss Myrtie Mae died at the ripe old age of 101, Dad still mowed her lawn.
On a blistering hot day last summer, Mom told him, “Toby, you’re crazy to keep doing that.”
“I’ve mowed it since I was thirteen, Tara,” he said. “Can’t see a reason to stop now.”
Later Mom told me it was those kinds of things Dad did that made her fall in love with him.
After last winter’s snowstorm, icicles clung to Miss Myrtie Mae’s house long after the sun had melted the snow everywhere else in town. Once on the way home from school, Twig and I watched the icicles drip and listened to the plopping sounds as they landed in puddles. I swear it looked like the house was crying.
By summer 2001, Miss Earline had posted a FOR SALE sign on the lawn. The lawyers in charge of Miss Myrtie Mae’s estate had finally solved the new owner mystery. She surprised the whole town by leaving her home to a man who proposed to her many years ago. He’d broken it off after she wanted to postpone the wedding because her much older bachelor brother pretended to be on his deathbed.
Almost everyone in Antler thought she must have been crazy to have left the house to him, but my grandmother Opa said, “Miss Myrtie Mae was a wise woman. I think she was telling the world that she once had a great love. Maybe I’ll write a song about it.”
Turned out, the man had never married and he died a week after Miss Myrtie Mae, which Opa said made the whole thing even more tragically romantic.
The man’s oldest great-grandniece from Brooklyn inherited the house. Since she’d never heard of Antler and had no plans to leave New York, she decided to sell it. She might have to wait a long time. There weren’t many people calling Miss Earline to say they wanted to buy an old mansion in Antler.
* * *
Every summer I worked regular shifts at our family’s snow cone stand. Since Mom and Dad were teachers, it was the perfect business. We always opened the week of spring break. Then it was weekends only until summer break, when we opened every day except Sunday.
Mom and Dad had good childhood memories of eating Bahama Mamas at Wylie Womack’s stand, and they named our business Wylie’s Snow Cones in honor of him. If you asked me, it was kind of the same as mowing a dead woman’s lawn. How would Wylie Womack know? He was buried six feet under. Plus it was confusing when people from out of town stopped at the stand. They always asked if Wylie was my dad.
Even though I worked daily shifts all summer, I still had time to hang out with Twig. Most days we rode our bikes from the west side of town to the east side. Then we pedaled all the way back again.
The first round we spent half our time making tracks at Gossimer Pit. On our second lap we turned at the square that surrounded the courthouse, getting off our bikes to say hello to Ferris. He was always sitting on an old bread box out front of his Bowl-a-Rama Café. Ferris claimed he still ran the place, but really Samuel Pham did. Mr. Pham came to Texas from Vietnam almost thirty years ago. He worked in a lot of Amarillo restaurant kitchens before moving to Antler and living in a room at the back of the café. Now we could order pho and shrimp along with chicken-fried steak.
Ferris usually had a story or two to tell us. Twig and I had heard them before, including the scriptures he managed to slip in. We sat and listened anyway. I was just relieved Ferris was the forgiving type and wasn’t sore at us for dropping out of the Tumbleweeds, a bowling league he’d started up for young people. I’d enjoyed being in the league, but when Twig quit because she thought ninepin bowling was pointless, I followed. Then the other kids started dropping out.
After Twig and I said our goodbyes to Ferris, we would finish our spin around the square. Then we wove through the back streets until we reached Allsup’s, the convenience store that sat on Highway 287, and where Twig’s mom worked as a cashier. We never failed to stop there for a Dr Pepper. Straddling our bikes, we sipped through our straws, watching people from other places headed in the direction of either Amarillo or Wichita Falls. Two years ago, when we were ten, we started keeping a list of the states on the license plates. We’d collected forty-nine so far, including Alaska, Hawaii, and Washington, DC. Apparently no one from Vermont or Maine wanted to visit the Texas Panhandle.
The license plate game wasn’t the only one we played. Another was making up stories about the people who got out of their cars and went inside Allsup’s. Twig was better at it than me, not because I didn’t have an imagination, but because she was braver and could stare a long time at people. She studied them so hard she could soak up a bunch of details, from their aviator sunglasses propped atop their heads to their double-tied green shoelaces. Sometimes when people caught her staring, they glimpsed down at their pants as if they’d left their fly open. Sometimes they stared back at her. Twig didn’t bat an eye.
That’s the way it was with us last summer. But then everything changed. And when it did, I believed that Twig and I would never again talk about where all those people, going in and out of Allsup’s, were heading.
CHAPTER 2
The middle of August, Twig left with her grandmother and her cousin for Madrid. Her grandmother grew up there and moved to the United States when she was a child. Twig had always complained about her cousin, Cora, how she was shallow and only interested in clothes, makeup, and boys. More than once she told me, “I wish you were going instead.”
I wished that, too, and secretly hoped Cora would get some awful throat infection or wake up with splotches all over her face and have to stay home in Dallas. Of
course that didn’t happen. And worse, as the date for the trip grew closer, I could tell Twig was excited about going, even if it meant she’d be around her snotty cousin. The trip meant Twig would miss the first two weeks of school. Her mom got permission from the principal, Mr. Arlo, who said, “Twig will learn more in Spain than the first ten days here.”
My parents were teachers. Dad taught seventh- and eighth-grade history, and Mom taught speech and drama. They both had strong opinions about Mr. Arlo’s decision.
Dad agreed with him, but Mom thought Mr. Arlo was setting a bad example. “What if every kid went out of town at the beginning of the school year?”
It wasn’t that Mom was all seriousness and no play. Her old classmates called her Party Charlie. I figured Mom was like me, a little jealous. Going to Red River, New Mexico, a few years ago was the only real vacation we’d ever had. Mom had always been envious of my aunt Scarlett’s jet-setting life as a flight attendant. Aunt Scarlett had traveled to every state and now flew internationally. She owned a tiny apartment in Paris and had a French boyfriend who looked like a model.
The last three weeks of summer break, I went to the Antler Public Library in the courthouse basement, making my way again through the teen section. It consisted of two shelves. I loved rereading my favorites, but I’d practically memorized them. Twig visited our library just to use the computer. The Garcias were the only family I knew that owned one.
Now I also went to use the computer to check my email. The dial-up to connect was so slow, the train could make it through town quicker. The wait was worth it to see Twig’s updates, even if they were short.
Hey, Rylee,
They eat dinner so late here, I’m always starving! Give me a Bowl-a-Rama burger and greasy fries. PS: Cora is driving me crazy!
Trying to stay sane in Spain,
Twig
Dear Rylee,
Went to a bullfight. That poor bull! Come back with me and we’ll protest. We’ll take Cora, but let’s leave her in Spain.
Bull Defender,
Twig
Rylee,
You should see my gorgeous cousin, Paulo. Last night he took me on a motorcycle ride after dinner. Too bad we’re related.
Amor,
Twig
Aside from the emails, Twig sent one postcard—a picture of a tiny truck parked on a narrow cobbled street. On the back she’d scribbled, How awesome would it be to drive this around Antler? Wish you were here. Stay cool, Twig.
She was the cool one. It must have been rough, eating paella and hanging out with a handsome cousin every day. At least one of us was having a great end of the summer. Maybe she’d even get kissed. We talked about kissing a lot, wondering which of us would be first. Sometimes I daydreamed about a cute guy moving here, some guy who would pick wildflowers for me, like the Engelmann daisies that grew along the railroad track. Maybe he’d even kiss me in Mrs. McKnight’s rose tunnel. But if he ever saw Twig, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
The day before school started, I received another email from Twig.
Played soccer with my cousins in the street last night. They call it football here. Remember when you reinvented the game? See you in a couple of weeks!
Friends forever,
Twig
She was referring to her first day at Antler Elementary School, when I stupidly picked up the soccer ball during PE. I was only in second grade and never paid attention to soccer, but Coach Hayward made me feel like a fool, blowing her whistle until I dropped the ball. When I did, Twig grabbed the ball and ran like a quarterback. She then tossed the soccer ball to another kid, who took off running too. Twig and I were best friends from that day on. It was only later that I found out she knew how to play. She’d been the star of her soccer team in the last town she lived in.
I wasn’t the only one Twig had saved. In fifth grade Conner Cook broke his collarbone from falling off a horse. His neck brace caused him to resemble a turtle with his head poking out of a shell. Twig insisted on carrying his books to every class for him.
She claimed she got her temper from her dad and her love of gumbo from her mom. It was true that she loved a big bowl of gumbo, but she didn’t have her dad’s temper. She was beautiful—long brown hair, longer than my blond strands (we measured and compared each month). She had dark eyes, not like my boring hazel ones. Her caramel skin had freckles sprinkled across her cheeks. My pale round face looked like a full moon. Her two front teeth overlapped a little, but somehow on Twig, crooked teeth looked cute. I, on the other hand, had perfectly straight teeth, and it had gotten me nowhere. She was brave. Always acting on her dares. I guess that’s why so many kids had wanted to be her friend. Twig was a magnet, and the rest of us, paper clips. Sometimes I wondered if my classmates had been my friends only because of my friendship with her.
The night before school started, I felt restless and almost reached in my closet for my mandolin. But I hadn’t touched it in a year. Instead, I went outside.
Dad was in his office in the backyard, reviewing his lessons for the week. His office used to be my grandfather’s shed where he raised Tennessee brown nose fishing worms. After Grandpa died, Dad moved a desk, chair, and a lamp in there. He tacked old Texas maps to the walls and piled stacks of books around the room. An amateur birder, he kept his worn copy of Texas Birds and binoculars on his desk. It was a cramped place, but Dad was on the small side, so it fit him just fine.
“How’s it going, Rylee?” He adjusted the lampshade so it wasn’t shining in my eyes and turned down the oldies station on his radio.
“Fine.”
When I didn’t say anything else, he closed his notebook, but not before marking his place with a pen.
“Looking forward to seventh grade?”
“Well, I wish Twig was going to be there.”
“Rylee, Twig may not be here every day of your life. People come and go even when we don’t want them to.”
I wondered who he was talking about, because he’d seen his best friend practically every day of his life.
“Seventh grade is going to be great,” he said. “Because you are.”
I only wished everyone saw me the same way my dad did.
CHAPTER 3
Kids from three other small towns fed into our schools, which were all located in the same building. There were three different entrances: east—the elementary school, north—the high school, south—my junior high. If we’d had a west entrance, our school would have resembled a giant compass.
The first day of seventh grade, I walked the two blocks there with my six-year-old sister, Mayzee. The oatmeal Mom made us for breakfast settled like cement in my belly. A warm breeze came out of nowhere, bringing the stink of the Martins’ cattle feedlot. My neck was still hot, so hot that for a quick moment, I wished I had short hair. Why hadn’t someone made it a law for school to start when it was officially fall?
After we reached the schoolyard, Mayzee took off.
“Well, don’t even say goodbye,” I hollered to her.
“Bye!” she yelled, not bothering to glance back. I stood watching her disappear into the school, wishing I could have been like that—so happy to start the semester and meet up with friends. At her age, I’d always dreaded the first day filled with awkward moments—who to talk to before the bell rang, who to sit by at lunch.
When Twig and I became friends in second grade, we’d made up our own code words inspired by my chronic apologizing. Saying “sorry” was easy for me even if something wasn’t my fault. If someone dropped a pencil or spilled juice, I apologized as if I’d done it myself.
Twig would catch me every time, and ask, “Why are you sorry?”
One day she said, “Don’t say sorry, say squim.”
Twig rarely, if ever, used squim, but it was the first of three words she’d invented. We used tob for anything awesome (like a cute guy or going to the movies) and drin if we dreaded doing something (like chores or going back to school after summer break). For a few years, we use
d our code words almost every day. Then somewhere around fifth grade, they’d slowly dropped from our vocabulary along with hopscotch and watching cartoons.
Just as I wondered if it would be a tob or drin kind of first day, a white Range Rover pulled up in front of the school, and the Garcia twins got out.
“Hey,” I called to them.
Frederica waved. “Hi, Rylee!”
Her brother, Juan Leon, nodded toward me.
They were the smartest kids in my class, excelling in all subjects and under the spell of numbers. Even though we didn’t hang out together, I’d known them all my life. If I was going to start seventh grade without Twig, at least I’d be able to sit in the cafeteria with Frederica and Juan Leon Garcia.
Juan Leon was named after his uncle, a professional golfer and our biggest celebrity from Antler. If it weren’t for Tiger Woods winning all those tournaments, his uncle would probably have been even more famous.
Juan Leon wasn’t anything like his uncle. When he talked about geometry problems or algebra, his nostrils flared and his thick eyebrows knitted together like they were digging their way to his brain. Sometimes I wondered how my fourth-grade self ever thought he was the cutest boy in Antler.
Frederica stood a head taller than Juan Leon. She was pretty, but seemed unaware of her looks. Most of the time she kept her long black hair pulled back in a low ponytail, and she never bothered shaving her legs even though she wore skirts.
In homeroom, I chose my locker midway down the hall. My homeroom teacher let me reserve the one next to mine for Twig. Everyone knew we were best friends, but with Twig gone, I was reminded of that all day. Kids came up to me and asked if I’d heard from her and if I knew when she was coming back from Spain. Even the Garcia twins broke away from their talk about Whiz Quiz and asked if I was taking notes in the classes she was missing. I felt important. It made going to school without Twig a little easier. In the past when people came up to us, they looked her in the eyes when they spoke. Now I wasn’t invisible. They were looking and talking to me.
The Ambassador of Nowhere Texas Page 1