by T. Smollett
He achieves an Adventure at the Assembly, and quarrels with hisGovernor.
At the assembly, were no fewer than three gentlemen of fortune, whorivalled our lover in his passion for Emilia, and who had severallybegged the honour of dancing with her upon this occasion. She hadexcused herself to each, on pretence of a slight indisposition that sheforesaw would detain her from the ball, and desired they would providethemselves with other partners. Obliged to admit her excuse, theyaccordingly followed her advice; and after they had engaged themselvesbeyond the power of retracting, had the mortification of seeing herthere unclaimed. They in their turn made up to her, and expressed theirsurprise and concern at finding her in the assembly unprovided, aftershe had declined their invitation; but she told them that her cold hadforsaken her since she had the pleasure of seeing them, and that shewould rely upon accident for a partner. Just as she pronounced thesewords to the last of the three, Peregrine advanced as an utter stranger,bowed with great respect, told her he understood she was unengaged, andwould think himself highly honoured in being accepted as her partner forthe night; and he had the good fortune to succeed in his application.
As they were by far the handsomest and best-accomplished couple in theroom, they could not fail of attracting the notice and admiration of thespectators, which inflamed the jealousy of his three competitors, whoimmediately entered into a conspiracy against this gaudy stranger, whom,as their rival, they resolved to affront in public. Pursuant to the planwhich they projected for this purpose, the first country-dance was nosooner concluded, than one of them, with his partner, took place ofPeregrine and his mistress, contrary to the regulation of the ball. Ourlover, imputing his behaviour to inadvertency, informed the gentleman ofhis mistake, and civilly desired he would rectify his error. The othertold him, in an imperious tone, that he wanted none of his advice, andbade him mind his own affairs. Peregrine answered, with some warmth, andinsisted upon his right: a dispute commenced, high words, ensued, in thecourse of which, our impetuous youth hearing himself reviled with theappellation of scoundrel, pulled off his antagonist's periwig, andflung it in his face. The ladies immediately shrieked, the gentlemeninterposed, Emilia was seized with a fit of trembling, and conductedto her seat by her youthful admirer, who begged pardon for havingdiscomposed her, and vindicated what he had done, by representing thenecessity he was under to resent the provocation he had received.
Though she could not help owning the justice of his plea, she not theless concerned at the dangerous situation in which he had involvedhimself, and, in the utmost consternation and anxiety, insisted upongoing directly home: he could not resist her importunities; and hercousin being determined to accompany her, he escorted to their lodgings,where he wished them good night, after having, in order to quiet theirapprehensions, protested, that if his opponent was satisfied, he shouldnever take any step towards the prosecution of the quarrel. Meanwhilethe assembly-room became a of scene of tumult and uproar: the person whoconceived himself injured, seeing Peregrine retire, struggled with hiscompanions, in order to pursue and take satisfaction of our hero, whomhe loaded with terms of abuse, and challenged to single combat. Thedirector of the ball held a consultation with all the subscribers whowere present; and it was determined, by a majority of votes, that thetwo gentlemen who had occasioned the disturbance should be desired towithdraw. This resolution being signified to one of the parties thenpresent, he made some difficulty of complying, but was persuaded tosubmit by his two confederates, who accompanied him to the street-door,where he was met by Peregrine on his return to the assembly.
This choleric gentleman, who was a country squire, no sooner saw hisrival, than he began to brandish his cudgel in a menacing posture, whenour adventurous youth, stepping back with one foot, laid his hand uponthe hilt of his sword, which he drew half way out of the scabbard. Thisattitude, and the sight of the blade which glistened by moonlight in hisface, checked, in some sort, the ardour of his assailant, who desiredhe would lay aside his toaster, and take a bout with him at equal arms.Peregrine, who was an expert cudgel-player, accepted the invitation:then, exchanging weapons with Pipes, who stood behind him, put himselfin a posture of defence, and received the attack of his adversary, whostruck at random, without either skill or economy. Pickle could havebeaten the cudgel out of his hand at the first blow; but as in thatcase he would have been obliged in honour to give immediate quarter, heresolved to discipline his antagonist without endeavouring to disablehim, until he should be heartily satisfied with the vengeance he hadtaken. With this view be returned the salute, and raised such a clatterabout the squire's pate, that one who had heard without seeing theapplication, would have taken the sound for that of a salt-box, in thehand of a dexterous merry-andrew, belonging to one of the booths atBartholomew-fair. Neither was this salutation confined to his head: hisshoulders, arms, thighs, ankles, and ribs, were visited with amazingrapidity, while Tom Pipes sounded the charge through his fist.Peregrine, tired with his exercise, which had almost bereft his enemy ofsensation, at last struck the decisive blow, in consequence of which thesquire's weapon flew out of his grasp, and he allowed our hero to bethe better man. Satisfied with this acknowledgment, the victor walkedupstairs with such elevation of spirits and insolence of mien, thatnobody chose to intimate the resolution, which had been taken in hisabsence; there, having amused himself for some time in beholding thecountry-dances, he retreated to his lodging, where he indulged himselfall night in the contemplation of his own success.
Next day in the forenoon he went to visit his partner; and thegentleman, at whose house she lived, having been informed of his familyand condition, received him with great courtesy, as the acquaintance ofhis cousin Gauntlet, and invited him to dinner that same day. Emilia wasremarkably well pleased, when she understood the issue of his adventure,which began to make some noise in town even though it deprived her ofa wealthy admirer. The squire, having consulted an attorney about thenature of the dispute, in hopes of being able to prosecute Peregrinefor an assault, found little encouragement to go to law: he thereforeresolved to pocket the insult and injury he had undergone, and todiscontinue his addresses to her who was the cause of both.
Our lover being told by his mistress that she proposed to stay afortnight longer in Windsor, he determined to enjoy her company all thattime, and then to give her a convoy to the house of her mother, whom helonged to see. In consequence of this plan, he every day contrived somefresh party of pleasure for the ladies, to whom he had by this time freeaccess; and entangled himself so much in the snares of love, that heseemed quite enchanted by Emilia's charms, which were now indeed almostirresistible. While he thus heedlessly roved in the flowery paths ofpleasure, his governor at Oxford alarmed at the unusual duration ofhis absence, went to the young gentlemen who had accompanied him in hisexcursion, and very earnestly entreated them to tell him, what theyknew concerning his pupil: they accordingly gave him an account of thereencounter that happened between Peregrine and Miss Emily Gauntlet inthe castle, and mentioned circumstances sufficient to convince him thathis charge was very dangerously engaged.
Far from having an authority over Peregrine, Mr. Jolter durst not evendisoblige him: therefore, instead of writing to the commodore, he tookhorse immediately, and that same night reached Windsor, where he foundhis stray sheep very much surprised at his unexpected arrival. Thegovernor desiring to have some serious conversation with him, theyshut themselves up in an apartment, when Jolter, with great solemnity,communicated the cause of his journey, which was no other than hisconcern for his pupil's welfare; and very gravely undertook to prove,by mathematical demonstration, that this intrigue, if further pursued,would tend to the young gentleman's ruin and disgrace. This singularproposition raised the curiosity of Peregrine, who promised to yield allmanner of attention, and desired him to begin without further preamble.
The governor, encouraged by this appearance of candour, expressed hissatisfaction in finding him so open to conviction, and told him he wouldproceed upon geometrical principl
es; then, hemming thrice, observed thatno mathematical inquiries could be carried on, except upon certain data,or concessions of truth that were self-evident; and therefore he musthave his assent to a few axioms, which he was sure Mr. Pickle would seeno reason to dispute. "In the first place, then," said he, "you willgrant, I hope, that youth and discretion are with respect to each otheras two parallel lines, which, though infinitely produced, remain stillequidistant, and will never coincide: then you must allow that passionacts upon the human mind in a ratio compounded of the acuteness ofsense, and constitutional heat; and, thirdly, you will not deny thatthe angle of remorse is equal to that of precipitation. These postulatabeing admitted," added he, taking pen, ink, and paper, and drawing aparallelogram, "let youth be represented by the right line, a b, anddiscretion by another right line, c d, parallel to the former. Completethe parallelogram, a b c d, and let the point of intersection, b,represent perdition. Let passion, represented under the letter c, havea motion in the direction c a. At the same time, let another motionbe communicated to it, in the direction c d, it will proceed in thediagonal c b, and describe it in the same time that it would havedescribed the side c a, by the first motion, or the side, c d, by thesecond. To understand the demonstration of this corollary, we mustpremise this obvious principle, that when a body is acted upon by amotion of power parallel to a right line given in position, this power,or motion, has no effect to cause the body to approach towards thatline, or recede from it, but to move in a line parallel to a right lineonly; as appears from the second law of motion: therefore c a beingparallel to d b--"
His pupil having listened to him thus far, could contain himself nolonger, but interrupted the investigation with a loud laugh, andtold him that his postulata put him in mind of a certain learned andingenious gentleman, who undertook to disprove the existence of naturalevil, and asked no other datum on which to found his demonstration,but an acknowledgment that "everything that is, is right." "You maytherefore," said he, in a peremptory tone, "spare yourself the troubleof torturing your invention; for, after all, I am pretty certain thatI shall want capacity to comprehend the discussion of your lemma, andconsequently be obliged to all the pangs of an ingenuous mind that Irefuse my assent to your deduction."
Mr. Jolter was disconcerted at this declaration, and so much offendedat Peregrine's disrespect, that he could not help expressing hisdispleasure, by telling him flatly, that he was too violent andheadstrong to be reclaimed by reason and gentle means; that he (thetutor) must be obliged, in the discharge of his duty and conscience, toinform the commodore of his pupil's imprudence; that if the laws of thisrealm were effectual, they would take cognizance of the gipsy whohad led him astray; and observed, by way of contrast, that if sucha preposterous intrigue had happened in France, she would have beenclapped up in a convent two years ago. Our lover's eyes kindled withindignation, when he heard his mistress treated with such irreverence:he could scarce refrain from inflicting manual chastisement on theblasphemer, whom he reproached in his wrath as an arrogant pedant,without either delicacy or sense, and cautioned him against rising anysuch impertinent freedoms with his affairs for the future on pain ofincurring more severe effects of his resentment.
Mr. Jolter, who entertained very high notions of that veneration towhich he thought himself entitled by his character and qualifications,had not borne, without repining, his want of influence and authorityover his pupil, against whom he cherished a particular grudge ever sincethe adventure of the painted eye; and therefore, on this occasion, hispolitic forbearance had been overcome by the accumulated motives of hisdisgust. Indeed, he would have resigned his charge with disdain, hadnot he been encouraged to persevere, by the hopes of a good living whichTrunnion had in his gift, or known how to dispose of himself for thepresent to better advantage.
CHAPTER XXV.