by T. Smollett
The Commodore sends a Challenge to Gamaliel, and is imposed upon by awaggish invention of the Lieutenant, Peregrine, and Gauntlet.
This affront Trunnion could by no means digest: he advised with thelieutenant upon the subject; and the result of their consultation was adefiance which the old commander sent to Pickle, demanding that he wouldmeet him at such a place on horseback with a brace of pistols, and givesatisfaction for the slight he had put upon him. Nothing could haveafforded more pleasure to Jack than the acceptance of this challenge,which he delivered verbally to Mr. Gamaliel, who was called out fromthe club at Tunley's for that purpose. The nature of this message had aninstantaneous effect upon the constitution of the pacific Pickle, whosebowels yearned with apprehension, and underwent such violent agitationon the spot, that one would have thought the operation proceeded fromsome severe joke of the apothecary which he had swallowed in his beer.
The messenger, despairing of a satisfactory answer, left him in thiswoeful condition; and being loath to lose any opportunity of raising thelaugh against the commodore, went immediately and communicated the wholeaffair to the young gentlemen, entreating them, for the love of God,to concert some means of bringing old Hannibal into the field. Thetwo friends relished the proposal; and after some deliberation, it wasresolved that Hatchway should tell Trunnion his invitation was acceptedby Gamaliel, who would meet him at the place appointed, with his second,to-morrow in the twilight, because, if either should fall, the otherwould have the chance of escaping in the dark; that Godfrey shouldpersonate old Pickle's friend, and Peregrine represent his own father;while the lieutenant should take care in loading the pistols to keep outthe shot, so that no damage might be done in the rencounter.
These circumstances being adjusted, the lieutenant returned to hisprincipal with a most thundering reply from his antagonist, whosecourageous behaviour, though it could not intimidate, did not fail toastonish the commodore, who ascribed it to the spirit of his wife,which had inspired him. Trunnion that instant desired his counsellor toprepare his cartridge-box, and order the quietest horse in the stable tobe kept ready saddled for the occasion; his eye seemed to lighten withalacrity and pleasure at the prospect of smelling gunpowder once morebefore his death; and when Jack advised him to make his will, in case ofaccident, he rejected his counsel with disdain, saying, "What! dost thouthink that Hawser Trunnion, who has stood the fire of so many floatingbatteries, runs any risk from the lousy pops of a landman? Thou shaltsee, thou shalt see, how I'll make him lower his topsails."
Next day Peregrine and the soldier provided themselves with horses atthe public-house, from whence, at the destined hour, they rode to thefield of battle, each of them being muffed in a great coat, which, withthe dimness of the light, effectually shielded them from the knowledgeof the one-eyed commander, who, having taken horse, on pretence ofenjoying the fresh air, soon appeared with Hatchway in his rear. Whenthey came within sight of each other, the seconds advanced, in order todivide the ground, and regulate the measures of the combat; when it wasdetermined by mutual consent, that two pistols should be discharged oneach side, and that if neither should prove decisive, recourse mustbe had to the broad-swords, in order to ascertain the victory. Thesearticles being settled, the opponents rode forward to their respectivestations, when Peregrine, cocking his pistol, and presenting,counterfeited his father's voice, bidding Trunnion take care of hisremaining eye.
The commodore took his advice, being unwilling to hazard his daylight,and very deliberately opposed the patched side of his face to the muzzleof his antagonist's piece, desiring him to do his duty without fartherjaw. The young man accordingly fired; and the distance being small,the wad of his pistol took place with a smart stroke on the forehead ofTrunnion. Mistaking it for a ball, which he thought lodged in his brain,spurred up his steed in a state of desperation towards his antagonist,and holding his piece within two yards of his body, let it off, withoutany regard to the laws of battle. Surprised and enraged to see it hadmade no impression, he halloed, in a terrible tone, "O! d-ye, you haveyour netting stuffed, I see;" and advancing, he discharged his secondpistol so near his godson's head, that had he not been defended by hisgreat coat, the powder must have scorched his face. Having thus thrownaway his fire, he remained at the mercy of Peregrine, who clapping thepiece he had in reserve to his head, commanded him to beg his life,and ask pardon for his presumption. The commodore made no reply to thisimperious injunction; but, dropping his pistol, and unsheathing hisbroad-sword in an instant, attacked our hero with such incredibleagility, that if he had not made shift to ward off the stroke with hispiece, the adventure, in all likelihood, would have turned out a verytragical joke.
Peregrine finding it would be in vain for him to think of drawing hisweapon, or of standing on the defensive against this furious aggressor,very fairly clapped spurs to his nag, and sought his safety in flight.Trunnion pursued him with infinite eagerness; and his steed being thebetter of the two, would have overtaken the fugitive to his peril, hadhe not been unfortunately encountered by the boughs of a tree, thathappened to stand on his blind side, and incommoded him so much, thathe was fain to quit his sword, and lay hold on the mane in order tomaintain his seat. Perry perceiving his disaster, wheeled about, and nowfinding leisure to produce his weapon, returned upon his disarmed foe,brandishing his Ferrara, threatening to make him shorter by the headif he would not immediately crave quarter and yield. There was nothingfarther from the intention of the old gentleman than such submission,which he flatly refused to pay, alleging that he had already compelledhis enemy to clap on all sails, and that his own present misfortune wasowing to accident; all one as if a ship should be attacked, after shehad been obliged to heave her guns overboard in a storm.
Before Peregrine had time to answer this remonstrance, the lieutenantinterposed, and taking cognizance of the case, established a truce,until he and the other second should discuss and decide upon the meritsof the case. They accordingly retired to a small distance; and afterhaving conferred a few minutes, Hatchway returned and pronounced thecommodore vanquished by the chance of war.
Never was rage more than that which took possession of old Hannibal,when he heard the sentence: it was some time before he could utteraught, except the reproachful expression, "You lie!" which he repeatedmore than twenty times, in a sort of delirious insensibility. When herecovered the further use of speech, he abused the arbitrators with suchbitter invectives, renouncing their sentence, and appealing to anothertrial, that the confederates began to repent of having carried the jokeso far; and Peregrine, in order to appease his choler, owned himselfovercome.
This acknowledgment calmed the tumult of his wrath, though he could notfor some days forgive the lieutenant; and the two young gentlemen rodeback to Tunley's, while Hatchway, taking the commodore's horse by thebridle, reconducted him to his mansion, growling all the way to Jack forhis unjust and unfriendly decree; though he could not help observing,as how he had made his words good, in making his adversary to strike histop-sails: "And yet," said he, "before God! I think the fellow's head ismade of a wood-pack: for my shot rebounded from his face like a wad ofspun-yarn from the walls of a ship. But if so be that son of a b-- ofa tree hadn't come athwart my weather-bow, d'ye see, I'll be d--d ifI hadn't snapt his main-yard in the slings, and mayhap let out hisbulge-water into the bargain." He seemed particularly vain of thisexploit, which dwelt upon his imagination, and was cherished as thechild of his old age; for though he could not with decency rehearseit to the young men and his wife at supper, he gave hints of his ownmanhood, even at these years, and attested Hatchway as a voucher for hismettle; while the triumvirate, diverted by his vanity, enjoyed in secretthe success of their imposition.
CHAPTER XXXIII.