by T. Smollett
Peregrine is released--Jolter confounded at his mysterious Conduct--AContest happens between the Poet and Painter, who are reconciled by theMediation of their Fellow-Travellers.
Our hero, understanding from some expressions which escaped the prince,that he was considered in the light of a sharper and assassin, beggedthat he might have the liberty of sending for some vouchers, that wouldprobably vindicate his character from the malicious aspersions of hisadversary. This permission being granted, he wrote a letter tohis governor, desiring that he would bring to him the letters ofrecommendation which he had received from the British ambassador atParis, and such other papers as he thought conducive to evince theimportance of his situation.
The billet was given in charge to one of the subaltern officers onduty, who carried it to the inn, and demanded to speak with Mr. Jolter.Pallet, who happened to be at the door when this messenger arrived,and heard him inquire for the tutor, ran directly to that gentleman'sapartment, and in manifest disorder, told him that a huge fellow ofa soldier, with a monstrous pair of whiskers, and fur cap as big as abushel, was asking for him at the door. The poor governor began to shakeat this intimation, though he was not conscious of having committedanything that could attract the attention of the state. When the officerappeared at his chamber door, his confusion increased to such a degree,that his perception seemed to vanish, and the subaltern repeated thepurport of his errand three times, before he could comprehend hismeaning, or venture to receive the letter which he presented. At lengthhe summoned all his fortitude, and having perused the epistle, histerror sank into anxiety. His ingenuous fear immediately suggested, thatPeregrine was confined in a dungeon, for some outrage he had committed.He ran with great agitation to a trunk, and, taking out a bundle ofpapers, followed his conductor, being attended by the painter, to whomhe had hinted his apprehension.
When they passed through the guard, which was under arms, the hearts ofboth died within them; and when they came into the presence, there wassuch an expression of awful horror on the countenance of Jolter, thatthe prince, observing his dismay, was pleased to encourage him with anassurance that he had nothing to fear. Thus comforted, he recollectedhimself so well as to understand his pupil, when he desired him toproduce the ambassador's letters; some of which being open, wereimmediately read by his highness, who was personally acquainted with thewriter, and knew several of the noblemen to whom they were addressed.These recommendations were so warm, and represented the young gentlemanin such an advantageous light, that the prince, convinced of theinjustice his character had suffered by the misrepresentation ofHornbeck, took our hero by the hand, asked pardon for the doubts he hadentertained of his honour, declared him from that moment at liberty,ordered his domestics to be enlarged, and offered him his countenanceand protection as long as he should remain in the Austrian Netherlands.At the same time, he cautioned him against indiscretion in the courseof his gallantries; and took his word of honour, that he should dropall measures of resentment against the person of Hornbeck during hisresidence in that place.
The delinquent, thus honourably acquitted, thanked the prince in themost respectful manner for his generosity and candour, and retired withhis two friends, who were amazed and bewildered in their thoughtsat what they had seen and heard, the whole adventure still remainingwithout the sphere of their comprehension, which was not at allenlarged by the unaccountable appearance of Pipes, who, with thevalet-de-chambre, joined them at the castle gate. Had Jolter been a manof a luxuriant imagination, his brain would undoubtedly have suffered inthe investigation of his pupil's mysterious conduct, which he strove invain to unravel; but his intellects were too solid to be affected by themiscarriage of his invention; and, as Peregrine did not think properto make him acquainted with the cause of his being apprehended, hecontented himself with supposing that there was a lady in the case.
The painter, whose imagination was of a more flimsy texture, formed athousand chimerical conjectures, which he communicated to Pickle,in imperfect insinuations, hoping, by his answers and behaviour, todiscover the truth: but the youth, in order to tantalise him, eluded allhis inquiries, with such appearance of industry and art, as heightenedhis curiosity, while it disappointed his aim, and inflamed him to sucha degree of impatience, that his wits began to be unsettled: thenPeregrine was fain to recompose his brain, by telling him in confidence,that he had been arrested as a spy. This secret he found moreintolerable than his former uncertainty. He ran from one apartment toanother, like a goose in the agonies of egg-laying, with intention ofdisburdening this important load; but Jolter being engaged with thepupil, and all the people of the house ignorant of the only languagehe could speak, he was compelled, with infinite reluctance, to addresshimself to the doctor, who was at that time shut up in his own chamber.Having knocked at the door to no purpose, he peeped through thekey-hole, and saw the physician sitting at a table, with a pen in onehand, and paper before him, his head reclined upon his other hand, andhis eyes fixed upon the ceiling, as if he had been entranced. Pallet,concluding that he was under the power of some convulsion, endeavouredto force the door open, and the noise of his efforts recalled the doctorfrom his reverie.
This poetical republican, being so disagreeably disturbed, started upin a passion, and, opening the door, no sooner perceived who hadinterrupted him, than he flung it in his face with great fury, andcursed him for his impertinent intrusion, which had deprived him of themost delightful vision that ever regaled the human fancy. He imagined,as he afterwards imparted to Peregrine, that, as he enjoyed himself inwalking through the flowery plain that borders on Parnassus, he was metby a venerable sage, whom, by a certain divine vivacity that lightenedfrom his eyes, he instantly knew to be the immortal Pindar. He wasimmediately struck with reverence and awe, and prostrated himself beforethe apparition, which, taking him by the hand, lifted him gently fromthe ground and, with words more sweet than the honey of the Hyblabees, told him, that, of all the moderns, he alone was visited bythat celestial impulse by which he himself had been inspired, when heproduced his most applauded odes. So saying, he led him up the sacredhill, persuaded him to drink a copious draught of the waters of theHippocrene, and then presented him to the harmonious Nine, who crownedhis temples with a laurel wreath.
No wonder that he was enraged to find himself cut off from such sublimesociety. He raved in Greek against the invader, who was so big withhis own purpose, that, unmindful of the disgrace he had sustained, anddisregarding all the symptoms of the physician's displeasure, he appliedhis mouth to the door, in an eager tone. "I'll hold you any wager," saidhe, "that I guess the true cause of Mr. Pickle's imprisonment." To thischallenge he received no reply, and therefore repeated it, adding, "Isuppose you imagine he was taken up for fighting a duel, or affronting anobleman, or lying with some man's wife, or some such matter: but, egad!you was never more mistaken in your life; and I'll lay my Cleopatraagainst your Homer's head, that in four-and-twenty hours you shan'tlight on the true reason."
The favourite of the muses, exasperated at this vexatious perseveranceof the painter, who he imagined had come to tease and insult him, "Iwould," said he, "sacrifice a cock to Esculapius, were I assured thatany person had been taken up for extirpating such a troublesome Goth asyou are from the face of the earth. As for your boasted Cleopatra, whichyou say was drawn from your own wife, I believe the copy has as much ofthe to kalon as the original: but, were it mine, it should be hung upin the Temple of Cloacina, as the picture of that goddess; for anyother apartment would be disgraced by its appearance."--"Hark ye, sir,"replied Pallet, enraged in his turn at the contemptuous mention of hisdarling performance, "you may make as free with my wife as you thinkproper, but 'ware my works; those are the children of my fancy,conceived by the glowing imagination, and formed by the art of my ownhands: and you yourself are a Goth, and a Turk, and a Tartar, andan impudent pretending jackanapes, to treat with such disrespect aproduction which, in the opinion of all the connoisseurs of the age,will, when finished, be a masterpiece in its kin
d, and do honour tohuman genius and skill. So I say again and again, and I care notthough your friend Playtor heard me, that you have no more taste than adrayman's horse, and that those foolish notions of the ancients ought tobe drubbed out of you with a pod cudgel, that you might learn to treatmen of parts with more veneration. Perhaps you may not always be in thecompany of one who will halloo for assistance when you are on the brinkof being chastised for your insolence, as I did, when you brought uponyourself the resentment of that Scot, who, by the Lord! would have paidyou both scot and lot, as Falstaff says, if the French officer had notput him in arrest."
The physician, to this declamation, which was conveyed through thekey-hole, answered, that he (the painter) was a fellow so infinitelybelow his consideration, that his conscience upbraided him with noaction of his life, except that of choosing such a wretch for hiscompanion and fellow-traveller. That he had viewed his character throughthe medium of good-nature and compassion, which had prompted him to givePallet an opportunity of acquiring some new ideas under his immediateinstruction; but he had abused his goodness and condescension in such aflagrant manner, that he was now determined to discard him entirelyfrom his acquaintance; and desired him, for the present, to take himselfaway, on pain of being kicked for his presumption.
Pallet was too much incensed to be intimidated by this threat, which heretorted with great virulence, defying him to come forth, that it mightappear which of them was best skilled in that pedestrian exercise, whichhe immediately began to practise against the door with such thunderingapplication, as reached the ears of Pickle and his governor, who comingout into the passage, and seeing him thus employed, asked if he hadforgot the chamber-pots of Alost, that he ventured to behave in such amanner as entitled him to a second prescription of the same nature.
The doctor, understanding that there was company at hand, opened thedoor in a twinkling, and, springing upon his antagonist like a tiger, afierce contention would have ensued, to the infinite satisfaction ofour hero, had not Jolter, to the manifest peril of his own person,interposed, and partly by force, and partly by exhortations, put a stopto the engagement before it was fairly begun. After having demonstratedthe indecency of such a vulgar rencontre, betwixt two fellow-citizensin a foreign land, he begged to know the cause of their dissension,and offered his good offices towards an accommodation. Peregrine also,seeing the fray was finished, expressed himself to the same purpose;and the painter, for obvious reasons, declining an explanation, hisantagonist told the youth what a mortifying interruption he had sufferedby the impertinent intrusion of Pallet, and gave him a detail of theparticulars of his vision, as above recited. The arbiter owned theprovocation was not to be endured; and decreed that the offender shouldmake some atonement for his transgression. Upon which the painterobserved, that, however he might have been disposed to makeacknowledgments, if the physician had signified his displeasure likea gentleman, the complainant had now forfeited all claim to any suchconcessions, by the vulgar manner in which he had reviled him and hisproductions; observing, that, if he (the painter) had been inclined toretort his slanderous insinuations, the republican's own works wouldhave afforded ample subject for his ridicule and censure.
After divers disputes and representations, peace was at lengthconcluded, on condition, that, for the future, the doctor should nevermention Cleopatra, unless he could say something in her praise; and thatPallet, in consideration of his having been the first aggressor, shouldmake a sketch of the physician's vision, to be engraved and prefixed tothe next edition of his odes.
CHAPTER LXII.