by T. Smollett
They proceed to the Hague; from whence they depart for Amsterdam, wherethey see a Dutch Tragedy--Visit the Music-house, in which Peregrinequarrels with the Captain of a Man-of-War--They pass through Haerlem, intheir way to Leyden--Return to Rotterdam, where the Company separates,and our Hero, with his Attendants, arrive in safety at Harwich.
Being joined by their fellow-travellers in the morning, they made atour to all the remarkable places in this celebrated village: saw thefoundry, the Stadthouse, the Spinhuys, Vauxhall, and Count Bentinck'sgardens; and in the evening went to the French comedy, which wasdirected by a noted harlequin, who had found means to flatter the Dutchtaste so effectually, that they extolled him as the greatest actor thatever appeared in the province of Holland. This famous company did notrepresent regular theatrical pieces, but only a sort of impromptus,in which this noted player always performed the greatest part of theentertainment. Among other sallies of wit that escaped him, there wasone circumstance so remarkably adapted to the disposition and genius ofhis audience, that it were a pity to pass it over in silence. A windmillbeing exhibited on the scene, harlequin, after having surveyed itwith curiosity and admiration, asks one of the millers the use of thatmachine; and being told that it was a windmill, observes, with someconcern, that as there was not the least breath of wind, he could nothave the pleasure of seeing it turn round. Urged by this consideration,he puts himself into the attitude of a person wrapt in profoundmeditation; and, having continued a few seconds in this posture, runsto the miller with great eagerness and joy, and, telling him that hehad found an expedient to make his mill work; very fairly unbuttons hisbreeches. Then presenting his posteriors to the sails of the machine,certain explosions are immediately heard, and the arms of the millbegin to turn round, to the infinite satisfaction of the spectators, whoapprove the joke with loud peals of applause.
Our travellers stayed a few days at the Hague, during which the younggentleman waited on the British ambassador, to whom he was recommendedby his excellency at Paris, and lost about thirty guineas at billiardsto a French adventurer, who decoyed him into the snare by keeping up hisgame. Then they departed in a post-waggon for Amsterdam, being providedwith letters of introduction to an English merchant residing in thatcity, under whose auspices they visited everything worth seeing,and among other excursions, went to see a Dutch tragedy acted, anentertainment which, of all others, had the strangest effect upon theorgans of our hero; the dress of their chief personages was so antic,their manner so awkwardly absurd, and their language so ridiculouslyunfit for conveying the sentiment of love and honour, that Peregrine'snerves were diuretically affected with the complicated absurdity, andhe was compelled to withdraw twenty times before the catastrophe of thepiece.
The subject of this performance was the famous story of Scipio'scontinence and virtue, in restoring the fair captive to her lover.The young Roman hero was represented by a broadfaced Batavian, in aburgomaster's gown and a fur cap, sitting smoking his pipe at a tablefurnished with a can of beer, a drinking glass, and a plate of tobacco.The lady was such a person as Scipio might well be supposed to giveaway, without any great effort of generosity; and indeed the Celtiberianprince seemed to be of that opinion; for, upon receiving her from thehand of the victor, he discovered none of those transports of gratitudeand joy which Livy describes in recounting this event. The Dutch Scipio,however, was complaisant enough in his way; for he desired her to sit athis right hand, by the appellation of Ya frow, and with his own fingersfilling a clean pipe, presented it to Mynheer Allucio, the lover. Therest of the economy of the piece was in the same taste; which was soagreeable to the audience, that they seemed to have shaken off theirnatural phlegm, in order to applaud the performance.
From the play our company adjourned to the house of their friend, wherethey spent the evening; and the conversation turning upon poetry, aDutchman who was present, and understood the English language, havinglistened very attentively to the discourse, lifted up with both handsthe greatest part of a Cheshire cheese that lay upon the table, saying,"I do know vat is boetre. Mine brotre be a great boet, and ave vroughta book as dick as all dat." Pickle, diverted with this method ofestimating an author according to the quantity of his works, inquiredabout the subjects of this bard's writings; but of these his brothercould give no account, or other information, but that there was littlemarket for the commodity, which hung heavy upon his hands, and inducedhim to wish he had applied himself to another trade.
The only remarkable scene in Amsterdam, which our company had notseen, was the Spuyl or music-houses, which, by the connivance of themagistrates, are maintained for the recreation of those who mightattempt the chastity of creditable women, if they were not providedwith such conveniences. To one of these night-houses did our travellersrepair, under the conduct of the English merchant, and were introducedinto such another place as the ever-memorable coffee-house of Moll King;with this difference, that the company here were not so riotous as thebucks of Covent Garden, but formed themselves into a circle, withinwhich some of the number danced to the music of a scurvy organ and a fewother instruments, that uttered tunes very suitable to the dispositionof the hearers, while the whole apartment was shrouded with clouds ofsmoke impervious to the view. When our gentlemen entered, the floor wasoccupied by two females and their gallants, who, in the performance oftheir exercise, lifted their legs like so many oxen at plough and thepipe of one of those hoppers happening to be exhausted, in the midst ofhis saraband, he very deliberately drew forth his tobacco-box, fillingand lighting it again, without any interruption to the dance.
Peregrine being unchecked by the presence of his governor, who was tootender of his own reputation to attend them in this expedition, made upto a sprightly French girl who sat in seeming expectation of a customer,and prevailing upon her to be his partner, led her into the circle, andin his turn took the opportunity of dancing a minuet, to the admirationof all present. He intended to have exhibited another specimen of hisability in this art, when a captain of a Dutch man-of-war chancing tocome in, and seeing a stranger engaged with the lady whom, it seems,he had bespoke for his bedfellow, he advanced without any ceremony, andseizing her by the arm, pulled her to the other side of the room. Ouradventurer, who was not a man to put up with such a brutal affront,followed the ravisher with indignation in his eyes; and pushing him onone side, retook the subject of their contest, and led her back to theplace from whence she had been dragged. The Dutchman, enraged at theyouth's presumption, obeyed the first dictates of his choler, and lenthis rival a hearty box on the ear; which was immediately repaid withinterest, before our hero could recollect himself sufficiently to layhis hand upon his sword, and beckon the aggressor to the door.
Notwithstanding the confusion and disorder which this affair producedin the room, and the endeavours of Pickle's company, who interposed,in order to prevent bloodshed, the antagonists reached the street; andPeregrine drawing, was surprised to see the captain advance againsthim with a long knife, which he preferred to the sword that hung by hisside. The youth, confounded at this preposterous behaviour, desired him,in the French tongue, to lay aside that vulgar implement, and approachlike a gentleman. But the Hollander, who neither understood theproposal, nor would have complied with this demand, had he been madeacquainted with his meaning, rushed forward like a desperado, before hisadversary could put himself on his guard; and if the young gentleman hadnot been endued with surprising agility, his nose would have fallen asacrifice to the fury of the assailant. Finding himself in such imminentjeopardy, he leaped to one side, and the Dutchman passing him, in theforce of his career, he with one nimble kick made such application tohis enemy's heels, that he flew like lightning into the canal, where hehad almost perished by pitching upon one of the posts with which it isfaced.
Peregrine having performed this exploit, did not stay for the captain'scoming on shore, but retreated with all despatch, by the advice of hisconductor; and next day embarked, with his companions, in the skuyt,for Haerlem, where they dined; and i
n the evening arrived at the ancientcity of Leyden, where they met with some English students, whotreated them with great hospitality. Not but that the harmony of theconversation was that same night interrupted by a dispute that arosebetween one of those young gentlemen and the physician, about thecold and hot methods of prescription in the gout and rheumatism; andproceeded to such a degree of mutual reviling, that Pickle, ashamedand incensed at his fellow-traveller's want of urbanity, espoused theother's cause, and openly rebuked him for his unmannerly petulance,which, he said, rendered him unfit for the purposes, and unworthy of thebenefit, of society. This unexpected declaration overwhelmed the doctorwith amazement and confusion; he was instantaneously deprived of hisspeech, and, during the remaining part of the party, sat in silentmortification. In all probability, he deliberated with himself, whetheror not he should expostulate with the young gentleman on the freedom hehad taken with his character in a company of strangers; but as he knewhe had not a Pallet to deal with, he very prudently suppressed thatsuggestion, and, in secret, chewed the cud of resentment.
After they had visited the physic-garden, the university, the anatomicalhall, and every other thing that was recommended to their view, theyreturned to Rotterdam, and held a consultation upon the method oftransporting themselves to England. The doctor, whose grudge againstPeregrine was rather inflamed than allayed by our hero's indifferenceand neglect, had tampered with the simplicity of the painter, who wasproud of his advances towards a perfect reconciliation, and now took theopportunity of parting with our adventurer, by declaring that he andhis friend Mr. Pallet were resolved to take their passage in a tradingsloop, after he had heard Peregrine object against that tedious,disagreeable, and uncertain method of conveyance. Pickle immediately sawhis intention, and, without using the least argument to dissuade themfrom their design, or expressing the smallest degree of concern at theirseparation, very coolly wished them a prosperous voyage, and ordered hisbaggage to be sent to Helvoetsluys. There he himself, and his retinue,went on board of the packet next day, and, by the favour of a fair wind,in eighteen hours arrived at Harwich.
CHAPTER LXVI.