by T. Smollett
He returns to London, and meets with Cadwallader, who entertainshim with many curious Particulars--Crabtree sounds the Duchess, andundeceives Pickle, who, by an extraordinary Accident, becomes acquaintedwith another Lady of Quality.
The young gentleman having performed these last offices in honour ofhis deceased benefactor, and presented Mr. Jolter to the long-expectedliving, which at this time happened to be vacant, returned to London,and resumed his former gaiety: not that he was able to shake Emilia fromhis thought, or even to remember her without violent emotions; for, ashe recovered his vigour, his former impatience recurred, and thereforehe resolved to plunge himself headlong into some intrigue, that mightengage his passions and amuse his imagination.
A man of his accomplishments could not fail to meet with a variety ofsubjects on which his gallantry would have been properly exercised; andthis abundance distracted his choice, which at any time was apt to beinfluenced by caprice and whim. I have already observed, that he hadlifted his view, through a matrimonial perspective, as high as a lady ofthe first quality and distinction: and now, that he was refused by MissGauntlet, and enjoyed a little respite from the agonies of that flamewhich her charms had kindled in his heart, he renewed his assiduities toher grace. Though he durst not yet risk an explanation, he enjoyed thepleasure of seeing himself so well received in quality of a particularacquaintance, that he flattered himself with the belief of his havingmade some progress in her heart; and was confirmed in this conceitednotion by the assurances of her woman, whom, by liberal largesses, heretained in his interest, because she found means to persuade himthat she was in the confidence of her lady. But, notwithstanding thisencouragement, and the sanguine suggestions of his own vanity, hedreaded the thoughts of exposing himself to her ridicule and resentmentby a premature declaration and determined to postpone his addresses,until he should be more certified of the probability of succeeding inhis attempt.
While he remained in this hesitation and suspense, he was one morningvery agreeably surprised with the appearance of his friend Crabtree,who, by the permission of Pipes, to whom he was well known, entered hischamber before he was awake, and, by a violent shake of the shoulder,disengaged him from the arms of sleep. The first compliments havingmutually passed, Cadwallader gave him to understand, that he had arrivedin town overnight in the stage-coach from Bath, and entertained him withsuch a ludicrous account of his fellow-travellers, that Peregrine, forthe first time since their parting, indulged himself in mirth, even tothe hazard of suffocation.
Crabtree, having rehearsed these adventures, in such a peculiarity ofmanner as added infinite ridicule to every circumstance, and repeatedevery scandalous report which had circulated at Bath, after Peregrine'sdeparture, was informed by the youth, that he harboured a design uponthe person of such a duchess, and in all appearance had no reason tocomplain of his reception; but that he would not venture to declarehimself, until he should be more ascertained of her sentiments; andtherefore he begged leave to depend upon the intelligence of his friendCadwallader, who, he knew, was admitted to her parties.
The misanthrope, before he would promise his assistance, asked if hisprospect verged towards matrimony; and our adventurer, who guessed themeaning of his question, replying in the negative, he undertook theoffice of reconnoitring her inclination, protesting at the same time,that he would never concern himself in any scheme that did not tendto the disgrace and deception of all the sex. On these conditions heespoused the interest of our hero; and a plan was immediately concerted,in consequence of which they met by accident at her grace's table.Pickle having staid all the forepart of the evening, and sat out all thecompany, except the misanthrope and a certain widow lady who was saidto be in the secrets of my lady duchess, went away on pretence of anindispensable engagement, that Crabtree might have a proper opportunityof making him the subject of conversation.
Accordingly, he had scarce quitted the apartment, when this cynic,attending him to the door with a look of morose disdain, "Were I anabsolute prince," said he, "and that fellow one of my subjects, I wouldorder him to be clothed in sackcloth, and he should drive my assesto water, that his lofty spirit might be lowered to the level of hisdeserts. The pride of a peacock is downright self-denial, when comparedwith the vanity of that coxcomb, which was naturally arrogant, but isnow rendered altogether intolerable, by the reputation he acquired atBath, for kicking a bully, outwitting a club of raw sharpers, and diversother pranks, in the execution of which he was more lucky than wise.But nothing has contributed so much to the increase of his insolence andself-conceit, as the favour he found among the ladies; ay, the ladies,madam: I care not who knows it: the ladies, who, to their honour be itspoken, never fail to patronize foppery and folly, provided they solicittheir encouragement. And yet this dog was not on the footing of thosehermaphroditical animals, who may be reckoned among the number ofwaiting-women, who air your shifts, comb your lap-dogs, examine yournoses with magnifying glasses, in order to squeeze out the worms, cleanyour tooth-brushes, sweeten your handkerchiefs, and soften wastepaper for your occasions. This fellow Pickle was entertained for moreimportant purposes; his turn of duty never came till all those lapwingswere gone to roost; then he scaled windows, leaped over garden walls,and was let in by Mrs. Betty in the dark. Nay, the magistrates of Bathcomplimented him with the freedom of the corporation, merely because,through his means, the waters had gained extraordinary credit; for everyfemale of a tolerable appearance, that went thither on account of hersterility, got the better of her complaint, during his residence atBath. And now the fellow thinks no woman can withstand his addresses.He had not been here three minutes, when I could perceive, with halfan eye, that he had marked out your grace for a conquest,--I mean inan honourable way; though the rascal has impudence enough to attemptanything."
So saying, he fixed his eyes upon the duchess, who, while her faceglowed with indignation, turning to her confidant, expressed herself inthese words: "Upon my life! I believe there is actually some truth inwhat this old ruffian says; I have myself observed that young felloweyeing me with a very particular stare."--"It is not to be at allwondered at," said her friend, "that a youth of his complexion shouldbe sensible to the charms of your grace! but I dare say he wouldnot presume to entertain any but the most honourable and respectfulsentiments."--"Respectful sentiments!" cried my lady, with a look ofineffable disdain; "if I thought the fellow had assurance enough tothink of me in any shape, I protest I would forbid him my house. Upon myhonour, such instances of audacity should induce persons of quality tokeep your small gentry at a greater distance; for they are very apt togrow impudent, upon the least countenance or encouragement."
Cadwallader, satisfied with this declaration, changed the subject ofdiscourse, and next day communicated his discovery to his friend Pickle,who upon this occasion felt the most stinging sensations of mortifiedpride, and resolved to quit his prospect with a good grace. Nor did theexecution of this self-denying scheme cost him one moment's uneasiness;for his heart had never been interested in the pursuit, and his vanitytriumphed in the thoughts of manifesting his indifference. Accordingly,the very next time he visited her grace, his behaviour was remarkablyfrank, sprightly and disengaged; and the subject of love beingartfully introduced by the widow, who had been directed to sound hisinclinations, he rallied the passion with great ease and severity andmade no scruple of declaring himself heart-whole. Though the duchesshad resented his supposed affection, she was now offended at hisinsensibility, and even signified her disgust, by observing, thatperhaps his attention to his own qualifications screened him from theimpression of all other objects.
While he enjoyed this sarcasm, the meaning of which he could plainlydiscern, the company was joined by a certain virtuoso, who had gainedfree access to all the great families of the land, by his noble talentof gossiping and buffoonery. He was now in the seventy-fifth year of hisage; his birth was so obscure, that he scarce knew his father's name;his education suitable to the dignity of his descent; his characterpublicly bra
nded with homicide, profligacy, and breach of trust; yetthis man, by the happy inheritance of impregnable effrontery, and alucky prostitution of all principle in rendering himself subservient tothe appetites of the great, had attained to an independency of fortune,as well as to such a particular share of favour among the quality, that,although he was well known to have pimped for three generations of thenobility, there was not a lady of fashion in the kingdom who scrupled toadmit him to her toilette, or even to be squired by him in any place ofpublic entertainment. Not but that this sage was occasionally useful tohis fellow-creatures, by these connections with people of fortune; forhe often undertook to solicit charity in behalf of distressed objects,with a view of embezzling one-half of the benefactions. It was an errandof this kind that now brought him to the house of her grace.
After having sat a few minutes, he told the company that he would favourthem with a very proper opportunity to extend their benevolence, for therelief of a poor gentlewoman, who was reduced to the most abject misery,by the death of her husband, and just delivered of a couple of fineboys: they, moreover, understood from his information, that this objectwas daughter of a good family, who had renounced her in consequenceof her marrying an ensign without a fortune; and even obstructedhis promotion with all their influence and power; a circumstance ofbarbarity which had made such an impression upon his mind, as disorderedhis brain, and drove him to despair, in a fit of which he had made awaywith himself, leaving his wife, then big with child, to all the horrorsof indigence and grief.
Various were the criticisms on this pathetic picture, which the old mandrew with great expression. My lady duchess concluded that she must bea creature void of all feeling and reflection, who could survive suchaggravated misery, therefore did not deserve to be relieved, except inthe character of a common beggar; and was generous enough to offer arecommendation, by which she would be admitted into an infirmary,to which her grace was a subscriber; at the same time advising thesolicitor to send the twins to the Foundling Hospital, where they couldbe carefully nursed and brought up, so as to become useful members tothe commonwealth. Another lady, with all due deference to the opinion ofthe duchess, was free enough to blame the generosity of her grace, whichwould only serve to encourage children in disobedience to their parents,and might be the means not only of prolonging the distress of thewretched creature, but also of ruining the constitution of some youngheir, perhaps the hope of a great family; for she did suppose thatmadam, when her month should be up, and her brats disposed of, wouldspread her attractions to the public, provided she could profit by herperson, and, in the usual way, make a regular progress from St. James'sto Drury Lane. She apprehended, for these reasons, that their compassionwould be most effectually shown, in leaving her to perish in her presentnecessity; and that the old gentleman would be unpardonable, shouldhe persist in his endeavours to relieve her. A third member of thistender-hearted society, after having asked if the young woman washandsome, and being answered in the negative, allowed that there was agreat deal of reason in what had been said by the honourable person whohad spoke last; nevertheless, she humbly conceived her sentence wouldadmit of some mitigation. "Let the bantlings," said she, "be sent to thehospital, according to the advice of her grace, and a small collectionbe made for the present support of the mother; and, when her healthis recovered, I will take her into my family, in quality of an upperservant, or medium between me and my woman; for, upon my life! I can'tendure to chide or give directions to a creature, who is, in point ofbirth and education, but one degree above the vulgar."
This proposal met with universal approbation. The duchess, to herimmortal honour, began the contribution with a crown; so that the restof the company were obliged to restrict their liberality to half thesum, that her grace might not be affronted. And the proposer, demandingthe poor woman's name and place of abode, the old mediator could nothelp giving her ladyship a verbal direction, though he was extremelymortified, on more accounts than one, to find such an issue to hissolicitation.
Peregrine, who, "though humorous as winter, had a tear for pity, anda hand open as day for melting charity," was shocked at the nature andresult of this ungenerous consultation. He contributed his half-crown,however, and, retiring from the company, betook himself to the lodgingsof the forlorn lady in the straw, according to the direction he hadheard. Upon inquiry, he understood that she was then visited by somecharitable gentlewoman, who had sent for a nurse, and waited the returnof the messenger; and he sent up his respects, desiring he might bepermitted to see her, on pretence of having been intimate with her latehusband.
Though the poor woman had never heard of his name, she did not thinkproper to deny his request; and he was conducted to a paltry chamberin the third story, where he found this unhappy widow sitting upon atruckle-bed, and suckling one of her infants, with the most piteousexpression of anguish in her features, which were naturally regularand sweet, while the other was fondled on the knee of a person, whoseattention was so much engrossed by her little charge, that, for thepresent, she could mind nothing else; and it was not till after thefirst compliments passed betwixt the hapless mother and our adventurer,that he perceived the stranger's countenance, which inspired him withthe highest esteem and admiration. He beheld all the graces of eleganceand beauty, breathing sentiment and beneficence, and softened into themost enchanting tenderness of weeping sympathy. When he declared thecause of his visit, which was no other than the desire of befriendingthe distressed lady, to whom he presented a bank-note for twenty pounds,he was favoured with such a look of complacency by this amiable phantom,who might have been justly taken for an angel ministering to thenecessities of mortals, that his whole soul was transported with loveand veneration. Nor was this prepossession diminished by the informationof the widow, who, after having manifested her gratitude in a flood oftears, told him, that the unknown object of his esteem was a person ofhonour, who having heard by accident of her deplorable situation, hadimmediately obeyed the dictates of her humanity, and come in person torelieve her distress; that she had not only generously supplied her withmoney for present sustenance, but also undertaken to provide a nurse forher babes, and even promised to favour her with protection, shouldshe survive her present melancholy situation. To these articles ofintelligence she added, that the name of her benefactress was thecelebrated Lady --, to whose character the youth was no stranger, thoughhe had never seen her person before. The killing edge of her charms wasa little blunted by the accidents of time and fortune; but no man oftaste and imagination, whose nerves were not quite chilled with thefrost of age, could, even at that time, look upon her with impunity.And as Peregrine saw her attractions heightened by the tender office inwhich she was engaged, he was smitten with her beauty, and so ravishedwith her compassion, that he could not suppress his emotions, butapplauded her benevolence with all the warmth of enthusiasm.
Her ladyship received his compliments with great politeness andaffability. And the occasion on which they met being equally interestingto both, an acquaintance commenced between them, and they concertedmeasures for the benefit of the widow and her two children, one of whomour hero bespoke for his own godson; for Pickle was not so obscure inthe beau monde, but that his fame had reached the ears of this lady,who, therefore, did not discourage his advances towards her friendshipand esteem. All the particulars relating to their charge being adjusted,he attended her ladyship to her own house; and, by her conversation,had the pleasure of finding her understanding suitable to her otheraccomplishments. Nor had she any reason to think that our hero'squalifications had been exaggerated by common report.
One of their adopted children died before it was baptized; so thattheir care concentred in the other, for whom they stood sponsors.Understanding that the old agent was becoming troublesome in his visitsto the mother, to whom he now began to administer such counsel asshocked the delicacy of her virtue, they removed her into anotherlodging, where she would not be exposed to his machinations. In lessthan a month, our hero learned from a nobleman
of his acquaintance,that the hoary pander had actually engaged to procure for him thispoor afflicted gentlewoman; and, being frustrated in his intention,substituted in her room a nymph from the purlieus of Covent Garden, thatmade his lordship smart severely for the favours she bestowed.
Meanwhile, Peregrine cultivated his new acquaintance with all his artand assiduity, presuming, from the circumstances of her reputation andfate, as well as on the strength of his own merit, that, in time, heshould be able to indulge that passion which had begun to glow withinhis breast. As her ladyship had undergone a vast variety of fortuneand adventure, which he had heard indistinctly related, with numberlesserrors and misrepresentations, he was no sooner entitled, by thefamiliarity of communication, to ask such a favour, than he earnestlyentreated her to entertain him with the particulars of her story; and,by dint of importunity, she was at length prevailed upon, in a selectparty, to gratify his curiosity, by the account given in the followingchapter.
CHAPTER LXXXI.