“Maisie is my reason for staying here.”
“That’s fine for right now, but what about next week? Next year? Island life isn’t for everyone, and St. Victoria is small. How long before you get tired of the beach and start to miss your family and friends? How long before you start to resent Maisie for keeping you away from other work opportunities, other life opportunities, that you could have in London?”
“That would never happen.”
Willow’s mouth became a firm line. “The job is a deal-breaker. I need to know that you could see yourself living here long-term.”
“You don’t trust easily, do you?”
“Where my child is concerned, I don’t trust anyone unless I have a good reason.”
“Done. I’ll get a job.”
“And somewhere at least semipermanent to live.”
“I’ll start looking immediately.”
Willow couldn’t help but be impressed by his confidence. “I hope you understand where I’m coming from,” she said. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m so glad you’re in remission. But you’re a virtual stranger, and you’re asking to be involved in my daughter’s life. I can’t risk her getting attached to someone who just wants to be around once in a while. Children need stability. Consistency.”
His gaze pierced her from across the table. “And what about what you need?”
She felt disoriented, her heart and stomach doing jumping jacks together. Who cared about what she needed? As long as Maisie was taken care of, that was all that mattered. Except, when she looked into his hazel eyes, she felt a need that had nothing to do with groceries and roof repairs and everything to do with a growing warmth that she’d felt since the moment Theo entered the room.
“I have everything I need,” she said curtly.
“What about financial support? You could at least let me help pay for Maisie’s schooling, or for any necessities.” He looked around the house, as though searching for any repairs he could offer to finance.
“We don’t need money. My salary more than covers everything. All I need from you, Mr. Moore, is for you to show that you’re someone who can be dependable. In case Maisie ever needs to depend on you.”
“She can. I’ll prove to her, and to you, that she can.”
Willow hoped, from the bottom of her heart, that he was telling her the truth.
* * *
“You know what? I think that went about as well as could be expected. All things considered, I think you should feel good about this, Theo. I really do.”
Theo pressed his hand to his temples, grateful that his twin sister, Becca, couldn’t see the pained expression on his face over the phone. Ever the optimist, Becca had a tendency to stretch reality at times in her determination to put a positive spin on things. Her hopeful attitude had been helpful while he was battling some of his worst days with cancer. But her determination to look on the bright side of life meant that she sometimes didn’t understand the magnitude of the obstacles he was facing.
He was back in his room at the Harbor Hotel, a charming, hacienda-style inn filled with tourists. He’d called Becca as soon as he could to tell her about his conversation with Willow. Of all his siblings, only Becca knew that Theo had gone to St. Victoria in search of his daughter, or that he even had a daughter. When Theo had learned he was a father, even though he’d wanted to shout that news from the rooftops, he decided against telling his family because he knew they’d want to be involved. It had been hard enough for Theo not to make contact with his daughter, knowing that if he did, he could potentially put her through the grief of losing a parent at an early age. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to withstand additional pressure from his family if they felt he should make contact. And so he’d only shared the news with Becca, the person he trusted most to respect his feelings.
But he wasn’t quite sure he agreed with her assessment of what had passed between him and Willow. “You think it went well, even though the mother of my child isn’t sure she wants to let me into my own daughter’s life?”
“I think it’s a good sign that she wants you to show you can be consistent and stable first. She wants to know that you’re serious about this. Now it’s only a matter of time before she sees that you want the best for your child, same as she does. You can’t blame her for being careful. I’d feel the same if it were my own child.”
He knew Becca was right. But part of him had hoped that, somehow, Willow would trust him right away. He ached to get to know his daughter better. When Willow had invited him inside for lemonade, his heart had skipped a beat as Maisie had casually slipped her hand into his. His daughter’s hand. There was nothing on earth that would stop him from holding her hand again.
“It’s just that when I saw my daughter today...” He paused, trying to gain control over his emotions. “It made everything so real. Everything the cancer took from me.”
“But now you get to take it all back, one step at a time. Starting with the most important part of all—Maisie. Cute name, by the way.”
“I like it, too.”
“So what’s the mum like?”
“She’s a nurse. She seems nice, but I think I overwhelmed her by showing up so suddenly. We exchanged our contact information, so I’ll call her as soon as I have a firm job offer and a place to live.”
“That could take a while. Don’t you want to call her a little sooner, just to keep her updated?”
“No. I think I should give her some space, so we can get to know each other gradually. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“What does she look like?”
“She’s beautiful,” said Theo before he could stop himself. He instantly wished he hadn’t said it. It was a sure way to get Becca to start making assumptions about Willow that had no basis in reality.
“Whoa.”
“No, don’t get any ideas. I wasn’t trying to imply anything, I was just stating a fact. I just meant that she happens to be objectively beautiful.” And friendly, and warm. Something about her demeanor had instantly put Theo at ease, nervous as he’d been about making his first impression. And she was beautiful. The waves of her rich, dark brown hair had framed her face in a way that made him long to pull her silky tresses through his fingers.
But he was here to meet his daughter, and nothing more. The situation was already complicated enough. Whatever attraction he might feel for Willow would have to be ignored.
“Look, I know you’re hesitant to get back into the dating pool, but you can’t put it off forever,” Becca said. “You’ve always wanted a family. And so unless you want to find someone else who agrees to make use of the rest of the sample you stored in that sperm bank four years ago, you’ll have to go on a date eventually.”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I’m not interested in dating anyone, least of all the woman who determines whether or not I’m able to see my own child. Besides, I still look...well, you’ve seen me. You know how I look.”
“Theo. You look fine.”
But he couldn’t believe it. Every time Theo glimpsed himself in the mirror, it was a shock to see how much his body had changed as a result of his illness and treatment. He’d lost over thirty pounds, and his frame, he thought, looked positively gaunt. His skin was pallid, and his sandy hair had only just started to grow back in the past few months. He couldn’t imagine that he would be an appealing prospect for anyone, let alone someone like Willow.
“Your body will adjust back to its old self in no time, now that you’re not going through treatment anymore. And any woman shallow enough to let your appearance keep her from seeing your personality probably isn’t someone who’s right for you.”
He wanted to appreciate Becca’s loyalty, but she couldn’t know how it felt for him to see his own body change so much over the past few years. Thinking about dating and relationships was the las
t thing he needed right now.
“There’s actually something I have to ask you,” he said, hoping a swift change of subject would distract Becca from her interest in his love life. “I really hate to put you in this position, but I need to borrow some money.”
“Don’t give it a second thought,” she said. “Just let me know how much you need, and I’ll get it to you.”
He hated having to rely on his sister for money. It wasn’t that he thought Becca would say no. She was a successful financier, and had readily offered her support during his illness. But having to ask for her help was one more reminder of all that the cancer had taken from him. It had been nearly impossible to hold a steady job over the past few years. As an oncologist with a strong research background, he was always able to find a job when he was healthy enough to work. But keeping his bank account in order hadn’t been easy. He had enough to support himself, but not enough to find a house in the Caribbean on short notice.
“I’ll need at least enough to put down for a few months’ rent,” he said.
“Of course. And you should get a long-term lease. The mum needs to know you’re committed.”
“But what if—”
“Theo, no. No more what-ifs. You can’t put everything on hold because of what might happen. None of us knows how long we have. Look at Dad. Look at you. We’ve all got to live while we can, which in your case means borrowing some money from your fantastically well-to-do twin sister so you can find a suitable place to live.”
“I’ll start paying you back as soon as I get a job,” he said. He hoped St. Victoria needed oncologists. Not that it mattered. He’d take whatever job he could find if it meant he could be with his daughter.
“I know you will. But in the meantime, I’m actually glad you asked. I think it’s good for you to ask for some support once in a while, instead of trying to face everything by yourself.”
“Thanks, Becca. I’ll repay you for...for everything. Someday. I swear.”
“Hey. What are savings accounts for, if not to help your brother move to a Caribbean island? Don’t worry about money right now. Just focus on getting your life back to where it’s supposed to be. Get things settled with your daughter so I can come and meet her.”
“Thanks,” he said again, and hung up the phone.
Becca was the only person in his family he’d spoken to in several days, with the result that when he finally checked his phone, there’d been seventeen voice mails waiting for his response. As he’d spent the past week traveling and tracking Willow down, he hadn’t spared much time for returning calls. Now, he had messages from his parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and various cousins, all eager to know where he was, what his availability was like for upcoming holidays and whether he had a moment to chat. So far, the only message he’d returned was Becca’s. He’d probably have to delete the rest and apologize for not responding later.
He scrolled through his call history and saw that not all the voice mails were from family. There were several from his medical care team, as well. He played the next message to hear the concerned voice of his primary doctor.
“We’re all so glad to see you’re in remission, but the fight isn’t over yet. Get in touch with me as soon as you can so we can schedule your first year of follow-up appointments.”
He knew he should return the call, but he wasn’t ready to return to talking about cancer yet. Cancer had taken up so much of his time and attention over the past four years. He wanted a moment to himself, to absorb the reality: he’d met his daughter. He’d laid eyes on her, talked with her, seen that she was real. And perfect.
Oddly, though he tried to focus on Maisie, he found that his thoughts kept drifting to Willow. He hadn’t wanted to tell Becca, because he knew she’d get carried away, but there had been something about Willow’s warmth that had made Theo feel instantly connected to her, even as she had explained her reservations about allowing him in Maisie’s life. She’d been frank and straightforward about what she needed with him, and why. There was something about her that made him feel she was innately trustworthy.
Openness was a trait Theo admired in people, because he was terrible at it himself. Growing up in such a large family had made it difficult to have any privacy, let alone any secrets. As soon as one person found something out, everyone else knew. Some of his family took this in their stride, but Theo had always been more guarded than his siblings. As a child, he’d always hated it when something important happened to him and one of his siblings spread the news first, or when family gossip distorted actual events. He was quieter than his siblings, keeping most of his feelings to himself, with the exception of Becca. He’d been lucky that he had a twin to confide in. He and Becca had always been fiercely protective of one another’s privacy.
And there were times when he did want privacy, so very much. He’d been diagnosed with cancer shortly after his father had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, which had devastated his mother and siblings. His father was doing well so far, but Theo knew, when he’d been diagnosed, that he couldn’t put his family through the threat of another loss. Not when there was so much to do surrounding Dad’s care, and when his mother needed so much support. He’d downplayed the extent of his cancer as much as he could. It was just a touch of melanoma. There was a high survival rate, and no need to worry.
Only Becca had seen past Theo’s lighthearted demeanor and recognized it as a coping mechanism. She hadn’t pressed him to talk about his illness any more than he was ready to, but she’d stayed over at his apartment on the long nights when the side effects of the treatment were bad, and she called and checked in on him often. She always claimed she was just calling to say hello, but he knew better.
Even though it was hard for him to let people in, he was grateful he’d had Becca. And if he’d chosen to, he’d have had the support of his other family members, as well. He simply hadn’t wanted to cause his family any more distress. They had enough to deal with in managing his father’s care.
He wondered what had it been like for Willow to be a single mother for these past three years. Had she had anyone to turn to when she needed support? Had she wanted anyone?
Her green eyes had seemed to light up when she’d first seen him, not knowing who he was, but simply wanting to welcome a stranger and show him kindness. He wondered what it would take to get her eyes to light up like that again.
First things first. A house, a job and then...some sort of plan for his new life in St. Victoria.
He hadn’t expected that his stay here would be permanent, but he’d meant it when he’d told Willow earlier that it was an easy decision. His choice had been made the moment he felt the warmth of Maisie’s hand in his. If his daughter lived here, then so did he. He was used to life changing suddenly and unexpectedly. At least this time, the changes were in a direction that offered something good.
He decided he could wait until later to return his doctor’s call. He deleted the voice mail, stuck the phone in his back pocket and went to ask the hotel concierge about where he could find a good real estate agent.
CHAPTER THREE
WILLOW WAS A little disappointed, but not too surprised, when a week passed without any word from Theo. They’d exchanged contact information with the understanding that he’d call when he got himself settled. If he got himself settled. Despite the confidence he’d shown, she couldn’t help wondering if he’d given it some thought and decided that he wasn’t ready to move his entire life to the Caribbean. She knew that a week wasn’t much time to find a job or a place to live, but she’d assumed that if he intended to stay, then he would keep her updated on his progress. Instead, the past week had brought much of what she was used to hearing from Theo Moore: silence.
She hadn’t mentioned his arrival on the island to anyone. She’d told Maisie that Theo was a friend who had come to visit, and that she didn’t know if they would see him again. As each day passed
and she still didn’t hear from Theo, she became increasingly confident that she’d been right not to explain things further. For all she knew, Theo might not even be on St. Victoria anymore. Perhaps he’d seen the sense in her words as she’d explained why he couldn’t simply burst into their lives out of nowhere.
Still, a part of her had hoped that he would follow through with all the things he’d said he would. He’d seemed so sure of himself, so resolute. But then, she knew from experience that people weren’t always what they seemed.
During their conversation, she’d formed the impression that Theo was someone who didn’t give up easily. The determination in the set of his jaw, the fire in his hazel eyes...she’d almost fallen for that easy confidence of his. But she’d clearly been right to keep her guard up, because despite his fine words and smoldering expression, he’d made no attempt to keep in touch with her.
She did find it rather grating that, once again, she’d offered Theo the chance to be part of Maisie’s life, and his response was complete silence, just as it had been when she was pregnant and when she’d given birth to Maisie. Despite his assertion that he’d frozen his sperm because he’d always wanted children, perhaps he’d decided that the responsibilities involved in fatherhood were more than he was willing to take on.
She told herself it was probably for the best. It wasn’t good for Maisie to have an unreliable father figure popping in and out of her life. Willow herself had grown up without a father, and she’d turned out all right. Gran had never dated anyone, and had certainly never suggested that Willow needed any sort of guiding male influence. She smiled to think of Gran dating. It was impossible to imagine. Willow had barely been a year old when her parents passed away in a car accident, and Gran had thrown herself so wholeheartedly into childrearing that Willow had always felt she’d had all the love and support she needed. Still, there were times when she’d wondered what it would be like to have her parents present. When she’d broken up with Jamie, for example, she’d wished she’d had a father she could go to for advice. Gran had been wonderfully supportive, but she couldn’t exactly offer a male perspective. And now, with Theo popping up so unexpectedly, she felt again how helpful it would be to have a father of her own to consult.
Caribbean Paradise, Miracle Family Page 4